Cautionary tale about the dangers of weight loss and why women shouldn't do it ever.

https://rentry.org/f4zdbefi

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>>25592161 >>25592271

Just want to thank whoever recommended this a few months back. There was a surprising amount of good, actionable advice in it, at least compared to other "books on writing". There was almost too much, I might need to go back over some of the chapters.

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>>25592090
You're entirely welcome.

>>25592090
>actionable advice
*formulaic writing techniques
ftfy

>>25592271
It actually wasn't all that formulaic, other than the general three act structure stuff. It was more about making sure things actually happen in scenes, and that characters are doing things. All pretty basic stuff, but covered comprehensively (and all stuff I needed to hear because my writing is shit).

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>>25592917

There was a murky, dreary, artificial glint in his gaze, one sustained merely by habit. His eyes shifted from one to another of the three people seated at the table, and at times his mouth curled into a half-satisfied smirk whenever something he deemed particularly interesting was recounted.
He thought he would entertain us, sharing facts he considered truly interesting, worthy not only of being heard but also of being digested and reflected upon, and ultimately deserving of an outside opinion, or even an exclamation or a laugh.
While the two individuals beside me had found something to say, a quick retort, I slumped lower and lower in my chair, staring blankly into the pupils of the man who was speaking, vainly trying to find some spark of life within them. They were eyes one might describe as both beautiful and dead, as if a fine layer of dust had settled over them, rendering him unable to perceive beauty or aesthetic form in life any longer.
I was speaking to the living dead. If any spark of living breath remained in him, it must have been buried beneath decades of trivial news items, shoddy academic papers, and the petty, daily deaths inherent in the acts of everyday life.

Twilight is always the most beautiful time of day. Likewise, the twilight of a man’s life is imbued with both poetry and sadness, his final moments spent living as a man, desiring and making love, charming women with the roguish allure of a seasoned, protective, and rugged old sailor with large, weathered hands.
It happens before the end. He doesn't realize it himself, but it is a moment of dazzling melancholy and beauty, a final love, one last pair of buttocks. The next day, it’s over. He is in his late forties. In any sensible society, he ought to die, make way for future generations, and even bequeath a small inheritance to his offspring. That is no longer the case.
He will be kept artificially alive for a second half as long as the first. His soul is dead, his desires turned to dunes of sand; he is now entering the society of the living dead. A society composed entirely of pleasures so petty and contemptible that they become chores, loathed by us, shunned by the living.
But this twilight, this final act of a "what if" where everything is still possible, where an encounter holds the power to alter one's destiny, this last glimmer of light as darkness closes in, ready to slowly snuff it out, is so precious. Quick! Something extraordinary must be done! One last "fuck you" before the shadows and indifference take over.

>>25592305
>It was more about making sure things actually happen in scenes, and that characters are doing things.
I don't understand what this means. Why would you ever write a scene in with these things don't happen? That's not even a scene? Or, a character that doesn't do anything isn't even a character? I don't get it.

>>25592883
Am I supposed to think that the narrator is a delusional moron, or am I supposed to think that he's making clever, insightful observations (complete with several examples of mindreading, that I can charitably interpret as the narrator simply being too conceited to realize how lost inside his own head he is)?

>>25592917
I don't know. Probably both.

>>25592893
>Why would you ever write a scene in with these things don't happen
Let me try and give an example;
>Characters decide to walk into a coffee shop and talk about what just happened for the past few chapters and nothing else.
Nothing is happening here, all you're doing is rehashing info we already know already. Story doesn't progress and it could be removed without any change

A good scene always reveals information about plot or character. Your character should be working towards a goal.

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>>25592970 >>25592979 >>25593486 >>25593640 >>25593666 >>25594373 >>25597606 >>25600161

how do you cope with the fact that every reader is going to easily psychoanalyze you off your writing, discover everything that's off about you, and judge you for your wrongthinks

>>25592968
usually by writing more

>>25592968
Psychoanalyze is largely pseudo-science and I don't give a flying fuck about the opinion of someone who tries to do it based on a written work.

As far as " judge you for your wrongthinks" it's there problem if they are offended, not mine.
Don't read horror if you don't want to be horrified.

>>25592960
Why would I read about the things I actively avoid by reading books to disconnect from the internet?

>>25592960
only if you delete those things from it

>>25593020
The tags are part of the story sowwy

>>25593019
Then don't read it? Nobody's forcing you to. I'd just appreciate some feedback, since this is only the second story I've ever posted. If it's not your thing, that's fine, but maybe you'd enjoy this one instead:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/86714011


>>25591919
Honestly, the story is incredibly repetitive and slow-paced. I found myself getting bored while reading it. At the beginning, I could at least sympathize with the girl and her struggles with overeating, but after the 300th description of her disgusting belly fat or her miserable state, I simply stopped caring.

The story also isn't particularly funny. In my opinion, characters in such a short story need more exaggerated and distinctive personalities, since there's so little time to develop them properly. The ending isn't particularly satisfying either.

If your intention was to write a comedy, then I don't think it works very well, because I rarely found it funny. However, you seem more like a fat fetishist than someone trying to write a conventional comedy, so if your goal was to create some light fat fetish content, then I'd say it's good. The writing itself is serviceable, at least. I hope you were not trying to make the worst ep of The Twilight Zone parody

>>25592961
>>25592305
>a scene = information revealed + goal worked towards
This is a formula.

>>25593067
I'm not the other guy so idk what you're talking about; but yes, it is a formula?
Idk what's written in the book, so it could just be different from what I said

>>25592893
Yes, those things should happen in scenes. Are you saying it's so obvious that it shouldn't need to be written down?
>>25593067
Sure, you could call that a formula in the loosest sense. But it's far from a Save The Cat style beat-sheet.

>>25593055
You struggled to read 15 pages? Are you mentally disabled?

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>>25593942 >>25594029

She was so beautiful. Sitting across from me, she wore that expression, a look of thoughtful concentration where she’d scrunch up her nose like a baby tasting the bitterness of a lemon for the first time. She pondered my question for a moment, then, with a triumphant smile and a confident tone, gave me an answer—her voice only intensifying the pain of not being able to possess her completely.
I would often lose my composure and my quick wit in her large green-and-brown eyes, eyes so young and so happy. Although she never wore perfume, her scent was utterly intoxicating, and I don't know how I managed to smell it so intensely without being right up against her. It was an indescribable scent, a blend of love and happiness. It was so intense that, often during my long workdays, the memory of that fragrance would suddenly wash over me, leaving me dazed with bliss and dreams.

We had known each other for years. I had fallen for her very quickly back then, though without desperation or feverish passion, much as one loves and admires someone who seems to stand well above their peers. Over the years, that almost paternal affection had transformed into a genuine, overflowing, and dangerous love, a painful passion that led nowhere. Every new meeting, every fleeting glimpse, and every trivial conversation with her only intensified the adoration and desire I felt for her.
The deadline was drawing near. The date when we would have to part ways was fast approaching. She was happy; I was sad. Her adult life was about to begin, while mine was coming to an end. A final, eternal farewell. What was left to do? Suicide? Leaving? Or simply accepting the renunciation of life and happiness, to languish forever in the same place, wandering through my memories? I would never be able to love again. It had been the first and the last time. All this pain, and for what? A betrayal, a disappointment, an immense one. Perhaps the greatest of my life.

To her, I was already a piece of the past, something obsolete, stowed away in an attic like an old trinket one dares not throw out because of what it once meant, yet without attaching any living emotion to it in the present.
And yet, I had been loved. I was certain of it. Looks do not lie. At one time, she had gazed at me with such tenderness and love. That memory alone stirred up a deep, pitch-black, suicidal melancholy within me. There was a time when I had filled her thoughts! What an extraordinary thing. Then, everything had crumbled. She had changed, taking on a new vibrancy and an almost foolish air of certainty. Her melancholic look and beautiful dark circles, her weary, poetic smile, all had given way to an air of banality and false confidence, just like all the others. A tragic transformation. We no longer understood each other. My influence had dissolved.

I've started reading the Futurist Letters lately and I really enjoy some of the writing. It's inspired me to start writing again. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to use this style but lean away from some of the more noxious "modern" elements?

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>finished story
>waited 4 months and forgot all of it
>rereading it
damn im good

>>25593055
oo guess I'm not gunna wead it then sowey. fucking fag

>almost finished first draft
>coming in way under page target
Fuck. I can pad some of the scenes out, one needs more back and forth, and another I definitely want to make the violence more gratuitous, but even then I might come in like 5-10 pages short.

>>25592893
>Why would you ever write a scene in with these things don't happen?
I can think of several books, written by /wg/ writers or other amateurs, who write books where nothing happens.
One notorious example is "Breadworld". I read 25 pages of it and gave up in frustration because nothing was happening. The writer responded and literally said something happened around page 230. Needless to say, that wasn't the answer I was hoping for.
Another example I remember was "The Shitkickers" by Jason Bryan. Early on, the story ends up in a bar, where the characters just talk about trivial things. The author's response was to say it was "realistic". I didn't read further.
Another example was "They Will Burn This Book" by Justin Mohn. It started out OK, then ended up at a party, and he described every trivial detail of what went on at the party. I never made it to the end of the party to see if anything interesting happened; I couldn't take it any more.
I could go on.
So yes, writers apparently need to be told that scenes involve conflict and stakes, because they apparently don't realize that.

>>25592968
I got over that years ago. Any time anyone does that, I tell them they're oversimplifying what I wrote, that my characters aren't all self-inserts, and that it's not an autobiography. If they can't grasp that, I stop caring about their opinion. Does anyone really think Stephen King is a psychotic serial killer?

>>25593122
NTA but I think he meant he struggled to stay interested in your story over the course of 15 pages.

>>25593411
Don't obsess over that. It's a first draft. As you write later parts, you are likely to stir up creative juices that give you an idea of how to flesh out the shorter parts. While you're at it, don't write linearly; write whatever part of the story you're interested in at the moment. You have plenty of time to sew it all together. Your goal should be to stay productive overall.

>>25593491
Thanks, yeah I can figure it out. In my last project, the 2nd draft ended gaining a few pages, then the 3rd lost a couple.
But I do prefer to write linearly. I tried jumping around once and didn't like it. I do have an outline though.

>>25593486
no, but people do accuse stephen king of being a pedo

the crux of the problem is, can you show your friends and family your fetishes in your writing?

>>25593488
I'll make my next story more overt for the retards in the back of the class. Rather than subtle fetish hints, I'll just have the character get stuck in a fast food booth and need to be greased out.

>>25593482
This is what happened when I posted my screenplay here. Some anon said they read 20 pages (minutes) and nothing happened.

>>25593525
Stephen King has never been credibly accused of pedophilia. And I don't put any shameful fetishes into my writing.

I'm writing a movie where I, the writer and director, am also a character in the narrative. I'm making one of the other characters into an ideal partner. The story necessitates sex scenes.
It's just an idea now but this will be an IRL movie one day not far off.

>>25593076
What? Why did you reply to me?

>>25593088
The book just details formulas for doing things like revealing information and giving character goals

>>25592968
I struggle with that too, but in the end I think you have to just kinda get over yourself. Like, when I'm reading a book, I'm rarely, if ever, thinking "Wow, this sure says a lot about the author!" I'm just reading the book. Of course there are contexts in which the author is a factor in interpretation, but I'm never going to be important enough for that to happen to me.
I would very much like for my family and friends to never read anything I write, though.

>>25592968
I don't care

>>25593578
>I don't put any shameful fetishes into my writing
Anon that's much worse that means you're doing it unintentionally

>>25593488
No, it's well known that most of the tards in this thread can't read more than a single page of very simple writing.

>>25593673
No, we don't want to

>>25593127
I like your wroting. You use good words. Sometimes you have implicit redundancy that makes your literary device work less well
>like a baby tasting the bitterness of a lemon for the first time
"For the first time" does nothing here. If you make it more active, like "like a baby suckling a lemon" it will hit harder. It also would be a bit easier to follow if you try to create subtle stylistic shifts when you switch gears from objective description and introspection. The character's obsession with the girl is written clinically, which can work if it's well established in the character in the scope beyond the passage. In a vacuum though it sounds strange that he talks about her scent more than the fact she doesnt give a shit about him anymore.

>>25593677
Who's "we", ramjeet? If you're not interested in literature why are you in this thread exactly? Are you trying to scam credit card numbers?

>>25593122
I just mean that the writing is boring. The story could have been 3,000 words long, and nothing of value would have been lost. It’s too repetitive, dwelling on things the reader doesn’t need to hear repeated.

I was being aggressive because I hoped provoking your anger would push you to actually read and criticize my work, the same way I did yours.

>>25593127
too vague. just describes abstract concepts instead of actually detailing them
>she was beautiful
>an indescribable scent
>i had fallen back then
>my love slowly transformed
>paternal affection? is there an age gap?
>looks do not lie
>she had changed (describes her appearance)
its so comically shallow it makes the mc incredibly dislikable and self absorbed. maybe that's the intent, a shallow chud who only likes a girl for superficial features and thinks he's super romantic in his navelgazing monologues?

>>25593995
Oh, I see the discrepancy here. I went for subtly, tastes of fetish here and there. You went for immediately screaming "HER TITS WERE THE SIZE OF WASHING MACHINES HUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M CUUUUUMMMMMMMINNNNNN"

A woman stretching and showing a bit of midriff is more sexually arousing than her being completely naked. If you can't understand why that is, or don't have the patience to appreciate it, you'll never write good smut.

>>25594035
>the face she makes as she stretches her arms over her head in the morning

>>25593942
>>25594029
You're right it sounds shallow without a proper setting. This isn't part of a book. It's my journal. The mc is me. I don't even know why I posted this.

>>25593673
It's difficult to maintain interest the 6,753rd time some shutin whines about his lonely pp.

>>25594106
Exactly. That's way hotter than she had tits the size of VW beetles and got a fist up her ass. It sounds like the idiot above is saying he wants that. That there should just be instant gratification in smut with no build up, subtlety or tension. ADHD Zoomer brainrot or third world porn addiction retardation. Call it.

And here's another tip. Even when you get to the climax where it's the actual sex, the little intimate details are still hotter. A kiss to her inner thigh, or her slowly running her finger over the back of his ear is hotter than just "THE FUCKIN' POUNDED AGAIN AND AGAIN WITH CUM HOSING OUT LIKE A BUSTED HYDRANT

>>25593958
We're interested in literature just not your literature

>>25594168
You couldn't finish that sentence with a full stop? You still haven't told me who "we" is either. Is it the six other people on the back of your motorcycle?

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>>25594949 >>25595528 >>25595547

Just wrote my favorite scene of the book, wherein the upbeat cheerful cousin of the protagonist disobeys orders and is punished with the Inverse Gom-Jabbar, which causes you to hallucinate what you want most, and then forces you to let it go. So he has false memories implanted of having fallen in love with a redhead tomboy mechanic girl who services his starfighter, spending years trying to get his father to tolerate him marrying a lowborn, and then hallucinates proposing to her, only to be torn away at the last second and come back to a reality in which the loe of his life didn't even exist.

Now he's got the emotional baggage of having lost the love of his life, except nobody can empathize with him because the person didn't exist, he can't tell them what the punishment was, and his wingmen and friends just think he's moping because the Admiral dressed him down.

And NOW I can introduce a character that looks exactly like his fictional girlfriend, but is smitten with his rival. I fucking love this shit why don't more people do romance?

>>25593482
>So yes, writers apparently need to be told that scenes involve conflict and stakes, because they apparently don't realize that.
That's kind of weird, isn't it?

I've only been half-assed practicing writing fiction for a few months (written plenty of non-fiction, but obviously that's a completely different game), and have discovered that my prose - as far as engaging fiction goes - really sucks. Or it's a 5/10 at best. Basically litRPG tier.
But my scenes are always pretty dynamic; full of action. All the characters in all my scenes have clear motivations and goals, and they act upon them, even if this only means that they speak their minds (to say things that create friction within the scene, not merely to agree or do something else that could be written out and have no effect upon the scene). If a character in a scene *doesn't* have those things then what are they doing in the scene? At least in long-running books/series you can kind of understand why that happens. You can have like 20 characters in a scene, only a few of them having anything useful to do in it, but the other characters will still randomly interject useless comments just to remind everything that they're there too, or you'll get throw-away lines describing what they're doing in a corner of the room or whatever.

Of course, not literally every single line needs to move the plot forwards. Sometimes it can just be funny or insightful or whatever. But how does someone a write hundreds of pages of just attempts at being funny/insightful/clever? Takes a certain kind of person, I guess. And, well, I suppose if you're Victor Hugo it works. The first dozen chapters or something of Les Mis is just him demonstrating how clever and insightful he is. But it works.

Hello, I wish to write a novel. Is it true no good novel has ever been written on a computer?

>>25594242
>"no true Scotsman" fallacy
you can leave any time

>>25594275
It is not a no true Scotsman fallacy, it was a question. Besides, it is a common aphorism that goes back to Hemingway and the typewriter. Sorry but I thought writers would be clued in enough to read the subtext of such a grand generalization and respond insightfully rather than so woodenly.

>>25594292
Judging by your writing style and pompousness, I believe you'll fit right in here.
Just write on a computer. That's what DFW did.

>>25594292
So you're implying that "no good novel" has an objective definition? It was a "no true Scotsman" fallacy and now you're just coping. You've said nothing to indicate you deserve an insightful response.

>>25591898
"self" replication*
https://youtu.be/dU4lYcN6zEY

>>25594303
Not really trying to fit in but alright. And I wasn't trying to be rude.
Any suggestions on how to write on a computer in a way that facilitates editing while avoiding too much focus on typesetting? Perhaps I should use LATEX or just plain markdown?
This is just for fun and my own enjoyment. I am not sure I will ever even finish it, but maybe I'll be happy with it in many years time. I want to take it seriously but I have a steady income that allows me to take my time and not worry about publishing.

>>25594319
Truly there has been no grand innovations in the writing program for like twenty years, pick up a pirated copy of word from a long time ago or libre office and you'll be good to go. There's awfully autistic ways to go about it but just about any text editor you're comfortable with should work.
Writing for your own fun and enjoyment is the way to do it, really. Good luck.

>>25594310
That's not what the New True Scotsman fallacy means, Anon. No True Scotsman is a category error where you deny that something is of X category because it does not fit an arbitrary condition.

I.E., you know an Irish guy who likes his guiness ice cold. Someone says "well he wasn't Irish because No True Irishman would never drink ice cold guiness," this is a fallacy, because being rish is defined as being an Irishman from Ireland which is genetic and locational, it has nothing to do with how you drink a certain type of beer.

Saying that you have heard that no good book has ever been written on a computer isn't a category error, it's simply an incorrect opinion.

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"Allow me to ask you a question: do you believe in anything greater than yourself?”

I replied instantly since I had been pondering this question for a long time: “There are lots of things that are greater than myself- the Library of Congress and the nuclear bomb. They affect me but I can’t change them. I think that makes them greater. But are they due any special reverence because of this attribute? I find that hard to believe.”

“Then you do not deny their existence?”

“I do not deny their existence, no, so much as I disown it. It does an ant no good to know how many moons Jupiter has. If we have no purpose, then there is nothing for us to learn. If we have been given a purpose, then it should be apparent to us since it’s been imbued by our creator. Either way, we should find fulfillment in our natural existence.”

Coyote tapped the mole on his nose three times, as if he were casting a spell. “That dichotomy seems true, but it still leaves me with a question. If indeed our purpose is apparent to us, why do so many of us yearn for the divine?”

“In my opinion, the word divine merely describes an extension of the natural goods we see. When we speak of a place like heaven, we describe it as eternal life. When we speak of divine love, it is like mundane love but amplified. This is why the religions of the times slowly broadened their understanding of God. At first, the Gods were a tribe that walked among us and ruled over us like kings. Then they made the heavens and the earth and lived in marble statues. Our world eventually expanded to be so large that God was merely an ineffable sense of infinitude. The animals and statues that were once God became objects, and we drove him further and further out of existence. God is not dead, he is gone: waiting far away in heaven for the world to need Him more. He is a parent that has watched his child grow up. We don’t depend on God anymore, so he doesn’t matter in our lives.”

He was becoming excited by the debate. He began stroking his beard the way I’d seen two nights before. “This is all well and good, but how can this describe the experiences we cannot explain. Aren’t there some things that we will never understand, which prove God’s imminence?”

“Things that cannot fit within the scope of reason are by definition unreasonable. The claims should be discarded.”

Coyote forged his voice into a ball peen hammer, “What do you suppose that you would do if an angel came down from the sky and spoke to you?”

“I would assume that it had been an illusion- a hallucination of sorts, and try to disregard it.”

“And what if your friend watched it happen alongside you?” he added.

“It must have been a peculiar characteristic of the light.”

“What if ten people were there?”

“I would call it mass hysteria.”

“And if one million people were standing there, who could report the same thing?”

“That would just be another religion.”

>>25594310
Again it's not my opinion, but it is so common that it has become almost cliche. It even extends to the apparently common belief that fewer and fewer good novels are being written as time goes on. Would you be less upset if I said "great novel" or "important novel" instead of "good"? My point was to begin a discussion about the merits and demerits of writing versus typing, of using a computer, of the influence of typesetting, and so on. You won't get very far without giving others the benefit of the doubt and responding with canned complaints of muh fallacy. Also there are no stakes involved here, why not just try and be charitable in your interpretation?

>>25594325
Thanks, anon. I think I'll do some more research online and try to find out what other big authors have said about it or approach it. DFW is a good starting point considering he was so ambitious. I'll probably set up a computer that is limited to writing only and try to compartmentalize my writing from other computer activities.

My main motivation for writing is pure enjoyment but the secondary motivation is to improve my literacy. Another anon said here recently that writing is just as important as reading for literacy. That really spoke to me and I think I'd enjoy reading more if I tried to write something worth reading myself.

I'm currently writing a story where a shota femboy gets stuck in a broken elevator with a slightly overweight fox woman who's in heat.

>>25594359
I wish I could just write stupid things like this without the intense feeling of shame and embarrassment causing my hands to lock up. You have my commendations even if what you're writing isn't exactly up my alley.

>>25594363
I have the exact opposite problem. I find it very difficult to write sincerely. Goofy shit is easy because I don't have to take it or myself seriously.

>>25592968
By never publishing, that way my ego will stay unhurt!

Sincere writing I tie my self worth to and expose myself. Tongue in cheek smut I can be detached from and ironically end up doing much better writing because I don't feel pressure.

>>25594326
>>25594242 denied that no "good novel" fits the arbitrary category of "written on a computer". Stop being deliberately thick.
>>25594331
>so common that it has become almost cliche
>apparently common belief
Bandwagon fallacy. You're just jumping to conclusions based on no evidence except your opinions, and expect to be taken seriously. I'm not going to give you the benefit of the doubt, or be charitable, because I'm sick of know-nothings who pretend they know something, and can't even form a coherent argument.

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sad to think about how many people don't get published traditionally, and that typically a publisher will only take on 2 debut novels a year, at most. and realistically you gotta be in with the system or abuse nepotism to do so. truly sad :( but that shouldn't stop anyone from writing C:

keep on going kings.

Have been gone a while so give me the update fellas has Victoria been released

>>25594383
You'll notice that I never made any
argument if you bothered to read my posts.

>>25593621
To me, a for advice to be defined as formulaic, it's required to provide plug-and-play instructions on what to do. Nothing in the book rose to that level. I would say that it presented patterns and techniques (it's in the title!) but not formulas.

Yes. There's even an ad.

>>25594610
>>25594743
I want someone else to buy it first and tell me if it's any good before I buy it.

>I learned later in life that there were these various spaces on Earth scattered throughout the globe and that depending on how you view it was fortunate or unfortunate to have found myself wound up in one of them.
We were flying somewhere over the English Channel but it wasn’t until an hour into our flight departing from Edinburgh that my co-pilot had informed us that we had somehow veered several miles of course.
“But how,” I had exclaimed in surprise to my co-pilot who was just as bewildered as I was.
The more I thought about it the more that it just didn’t make the slightest but of sense to to me. Weather conditions were normal as far as I could see it was a pristine bright and clear sky. There wasn’t anything to indicate that we had experienced any kind of technological anomalies within the crafts equipment. So how could we have ventured so far from where we had set off.

Rate my opening.

>>25594793
I learned later in life that there were these various spaces on Earth scattered throughout the globe and that depending on how you view it was fortunate or unfortunate to have found myself wound up in one of them.
We were flying somewhere over the English Channel but it wasn’t until an hour into our flight departing from Edinburgh that my co-pilot had informed us that we had somehow veered several miles of course.
that is very much not two sentences brochacho

>>25594793
>>25594793
Why do you have to make it clunky with
>Various spaces on earth scattered blah blah blah
Holy shit write
>I learned of other countries filled with the most evil of peoples. I called them Jeets.

>>25594200
You’re a sick man, anon.

John squatted down, grabbed his pack from the dry alpine dirt, and hoisted it up onto his shoulders, straining his back and legs from the extra weight. One of the sample rocks thrown in was digging through the fabric, jutting into his back. He wiped the sweat from his eyes and looked down the trail. The others were already descending the mountain. Why the fuck was he the only one carrying the rocks down every day? Oh, right. The other three were an elderly geology professor and John's two scrawny, bitchy grad school colleagues. Well, one of them was more chubby than scrawny, but not chubby in a she-works-out kind of way. Still bitchy though. He called down to them, "Wait up!" The tall skinny one, Sara glanced back at John for a moment before looking back down. "Hurry up," she yelled while focusing on her foot placement over the rocks, as she and Rachel hiked down into the treeline. Professor Foster was already long out of sight. That should have put John, the most senior grad student, in charge. So why the hell was Sara being such a pain in the ass? Again? All he could do was sigh and catch his breath. He peered out over the treetops. A vast evergreen valley between two ranges of rocky Swiss Alps stretched across under him. Or were they in Austria now? Their summer research trip had been such a blur, up and down so many mountains, he'd lost track. His eyes found and traced a road curving through the hills and ending at a ski lodge directly beneath him. It was obviously off season, but, again, he wondered why they couldn't just use the ski lifts to get up and down with these fucking samples? One of them, motionless, passed over the trail where the others had already disappeared into the trees. Guess not. He shook his head and started down.

I had AI translate my opening to english, hoping for someone to tear it apart. The story is set in in the 17th century, so I’m going for something slightly archaic, but still easy to read.


There are trees that know tales older than any living soul. There are stones that remember. For those who dare listen, there are forests that sing.

Songs of the end.

Hunched, the magpie hops further along the oak branch and shakes the rain from his feathers. He has flown far, close, but never too close to those now drawing near. Settling beneath the leaking canopy, he looks about him. The forest is dark, the moon hidden behind a blanket of cloud, the silence drowned by the patter of rain in the leaves.
The magpie keeps watch, eyes on the high road below. Long the bird waits, without stirring a feather, until he has had enough of this simple-minded vigil, yearning for someone to talk to.

"Good tidings to you," the bird croaks softly to the tree.
The leaves sway gently in the breeze, rustling their reply.

"Regarding our last misunderstanding, I am sincerely sorry," the magpie goes on. "This time is different. Fate shall not stand or fall by a sprig."

The muffled sound of hooves in mud makes the magpie glance back toward the road.

In the rain, a black procession approaches.

Cloaks are drawn tight about the riders, water trickling from broad-brimmed hats. The magpie catches a glimpse of the man at its head, whose pious countenance very nearly sets the bird cackling.

>>25594793
"But how?!" I had exclaimed in surprise out loud to the guy who I had been talking to, who had overheard my words, had understood them, and had shrugged in an amount of confusion equal to, no less, no more, than mine.

>>25595113
just say this is translated from japanese and you can sell a million copies in america

>>25595013
Methinks this is nice

It's a really difficult balance to depict chaotic confusing mind bending psychedelic scenes in a way that isn't the bad kind of confusing that readers won't tolerate.

Like it's supposed to be confusing, but I have to make sure it isn't TOO confusing for the reader.
To communicate the feel of the character being confused, without the reader disconnecting from the story because they themselves feel confused.

>>25595479
Literature is the same as music. If you want to put people into an excited mental state, increase the tempo. I think a lot of people get too caught up in a "perfect' description of what the sensations are like, when the last thing you do in a psychedelic stupor is describe the color of the dew on blades of grass.

>>25594200
>why don't more people do romance?
I am autistic and somewhat self conscious about it.

Can't speak for other people on why they don't write romance.

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>>25595565 >>25595570

I was really excited for this project but it's turning into an absolute slog toward the end. I outlined everything, but now that I'm getting close to writing the final confrontation, it all feels like it's become an underwhelming disappointment.

>>25594242
>Is it true no good novel has ever been written on a computer?
No.

>>25594200
>why don't more people do romance?
Because every man inserts their fetish in it. From rape to incest to loli to bestiality with elves

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>>25595896

>>25595535
Maybe you can rewrite backwards from the climax and ride the wave of your enthusiasm? Many good books were ass before they were revised. Otherwise you can always try again.

>>25595535
Just machinegun out the whole thing in shit prose then scrutinize it afterwards, editing out the parts that you can now hopefully tell aren't necessary, before revising the prose into something less shit.

My problem is, my prose is always shit. Revising it just makes it shittier. Maybe I need another 10000 hours.

>>25595479
for stream of consciousness scenes, FLOW is what hard carries

even if its nonsensical, one thought should at least flow into the next, somewhat logically. if its jarring its just annoying. idk how to describe it, its like if you make too sharp a turn on rollercoasters the whiplash will kill the passengers

>>25595547
What if my fetish is... true love and genuine deep adoration between partners?

By the way, you know what I think is some fucked up shit? The best place to find that is in fetish porn. There's a real mind-twister. Meanwhile, vanilla porn is all just "here's my pussy; now let's fuck."

>>25595579
There's plenty of low quality fetish smut that exists purely for the fetish. But for whatever reason, yeah, you can find better romance on ao3 than in 99% of best selling 'romance' novels in paper. It's because it's written by men for men.

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>so lost in the sauce on the themes and such that i can no longer recognize my own beliefs in the work

>>25594708
You implied no good novel has ever been written on a computer. It wasn't an innocent question and you know it.

>>25594750
You can presumably read the first part of the book in the "Look Inside" section on the Amazon page.

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>>25595700 >>25595710 >>25595720 >>25595925 >>25596027

Which one?

>>25595699
victoria mogs all by a country mile

NJB conquered this board of savages like a conquistador and moved on to find the city of gold for himself. his legend will never be forgotten.

>>25595699
can't believe the pic of the first page of these got a whole thread

>>25595699
King of LA is the only one that doesn't look like AI generated slop

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>>25595728 >>25595745 >>25596027

>>25595708
You did no such thing and you know it.
>>25574606
>>25574608
>>25574609
Dick stood up suddenly. "What? You slipped me cocaine?"
George waved dismissively. "Oh, don't be such a baby. You wanted pain relief, and I gave it to you."
"But I've never done drugs in my life!" Dick cried.
George gave Dick an incredulous look. "Well, then it was long overdue. Time for you to grow up!"
Dick buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe this is happening."
"Look," George consoled, sliding up to Dick. "Cocaine is actually great for injuries like this. It constricts blood flow. You should heal a lot faster. But it has one other advantage."
Dick looked up. "What?"
George glanced around his hovel sadly. "I spend almost all my time in here. I'm allowed outside to shower and use the toilet, but that's about it. It gets pretty mind-numbing, and there's only so many books one can read." He twiddled the vial. "This makes my life a lot more bearable."
"I'll take my chances," Dick grumbled. "This isn't so bad."
"Are you sure about that?" George asked coyly. "Do you feel anything else?"
Dick thought about it for a moment. For the first time, he noticed an odd swelling of joy, working its way through his body. He felt a growing desire to smile forcing its way into his mind. "You're right," he admitted. "I feel good, and I can't stop it."
"You see?" George's eyes twinkled. "That's why you thought this wasn't so bad—because the cocaine was already working its magic."
Dick swept his eyes over George's room. It no longer looked as dreadful as it did before; he felt bad calling it a hovel. It was rustic, quaint, even charming. He looked George in the eyes, and for the first time was struck by his kindness and pathos. Both of them were under the thumb of mafiosi, for reasons not entirely their fault. He had to make the best of this; he didn't have a choice.
"I apologize," Dick said, wringing his hands. "I had no right to treat you that way. I know you mean well, and are doing the best you can."
"Think nothing of it," George assured. An impish grin flashed across his face. "Want a little more?"
"Please!" Dick gushed.

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>>25595732 >>25595745 >>25596027

>>25595725
A small mirror lay on a nearby table. George dished out a tiny dot, scraped it together with a razor blade, then put some of it back into the vial. "You should do only a little at a time. See what sort of tolerance you have."
"Shouldn't I use a rolled-up hundred dollar bill or something?"
George waved dismissively. "That's just in the movies. Everyone else just puts their nose up to the mirror and snorts."
Dick followed instructions, then jerked his head upwards, a stunned look on his face.
George smiled. "Hits quick, doesn't it?"
Dick turned to George, his face beaming. "I had no idea! It's like inhaling powdered happiness!"
"Now you've got it!" George cheered. "Life can throw all sorts of things at you, but at least now you're in a proper frame of mind!"
"Yes!" Dick raved. "And we can get as much of this as we want?"
"Mostly," George assured. "Our bosses are swimming in the stuff. They consider it a small price to pay to keep me docile."
Dick felt joy surge through his body, mind, and soul. "How can I ever repay you?"
"I have an idea," George said slyly. "Would you blow me?" He pulled down his pants, revealing his penis, barely larger than Dick's.
"Not a problem," Dick assured. "We're both clean, aren't we?"
"Freshly showered," George agreed.
Without hesitation, and bursting with chemically-induced joy, Dick slurped George's flaccid manhood into his mouth; George groaned in ecstasy. It wasn't really a bad experience; it was on par with eating shellfish, but slightly less slimy. He swept his tongue in circles, feeling George's smooth skin against his own. George shuddered violently, then let out a giant fart. Dick continued, undaunted; it didn't smell nearly as bad as Groendyke's studio, and after a few seconds of George's spirited hand waving, the smell was gone, replaced with the overwhelming musky odor of George's studio apartment. He now saw clearly that his time with Groendyke was a crucible, toughening him up for the road ahead.
Dick thrilled to realize George's penis was losing its flaccidity; that meant he was doing it right! A few seconds later, he switched to caressing his ever-expanding responsibility with the inside of his mouth, stroking it to and fro.
"Ow!" George suddenly yelled. "Watch the teeth!"
"Sorry!" Dick tried to say, his voice muffled; George cried out again. "Don't try to talk!"
Dick switched to using the inside of his lips, developing a gentle rhythm; George returned to moaning with pleasure.

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>>25595745 >>25596027

>>25595728
Losing track of time, he focused on what a nice thing he was doing for George, how he owed George his life, and this was the least he could do to hold up his end of the deal.
George's manhood was now rock hard; stroking it became much easier. George moaned incoherently. "Oh God," he trilled. "I'm so close. Please go faster." Dick was happy to comply, slowly ramping up the speed. Seconds later, George shuddered again, then let out a joyous exclamation. Quickly, Dick switched to half speed, recalling his own preference during masturbation. George gasped for air a few times, then abruptly went limp.
Dick rose from George's lap, noticing for the first time that he now had a raging erection. "Do me!" he pleaded, standing up.
"In a minute," George panted. "I need a break."
Dick's cape, now parted in front, revealed his full nudity. He watched George's chest rise and fall, his face awash with bliss. He waited for what seemed like a long time, but it was probably only a minute.
"George?"
He let out a few sharp snores; George had passed out. Dick's eyes fell; he realized his erection had gone soft. For the first time, he noticed a salty, fishy taste in his mouth. Swishing around his tongue, he realized he had involuntarily swallowed George's ejaculate. Shrugging, he let his mouth water, washing it clean. After all, it was too late to do anything else.
He stood there, beholding George's sleeping form, his modest endowment visible for anyone who cared to see it. What would he do now?
George's vial stood on the table, next to the mirror. Dick sauntered over to it, dished out a small dot, and inhaled it, the rush hitting him like it did before. He waited for a minute, then served himself another small dot and imbibed it, feeling the rush build on the earlier ones. A wide grin spread over his face; this was exactly how he wanted to feel! He fumbled with the vial, finally closing it, then stumbled over to the couch and sank into it.
His eyes ran over the extent of the studio apartment, finally appreciating its beauty. George had been dealt a bad hand in life, but he had done everything he could to make the best of it. His noble spirit was present in every aspect of his living space. Finally, he understood his place in the world, and how grateful he should be to George for sharing what he had. He continued to stare blissfully at the wall until the coke wore off and he passed out, lulled to sleep by George's gentle snoring.

>>25595725
>>25595728
>>25595732
I'm waiting for the entirety posted in a book format. This has gotten a few chuckles from me

>>25595745
I'll do so once I finish.

Writing a story as a shut in chud had proved to be a fun challenge.

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>>25595774 >>25595783

>i posted the homo fantasy again! that'll show whitey who's boss!
>rips a wretched curry fart in his gooner mud hut

>>25595770
>>25592099
How can we miss you if you won't leave?

how can one breathe if their mouth is full of NJB's nuts? a conundrum that will plague TeePee Jeetson for the rest of his days.

>>25595770
It must kill you that the homoerotic story you inspired features deeper mafia characters than your cliché-ridden totally-not-a-screenplay.

>>25595782
>NJB thinks about gay sex with TBJ
No surprise there. Saw that coming from a mile away.

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>>25595808 >>25595925 >>25596027

>ah shit, the faggy e-girl story flopped
>at least i'll always have my gooner fic!
>pulls tiny pajeet pud raw
>NJB must be so fucking mad hehehe!

>>25594383
Obviously the suggestion that no good novel has been (or could be) written on a computer is absurd, it just isn't a no true scotsman fallacy specifically.

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>>25595797
>Can't actually address any of the points
>Continues to fantasize about gay sex

>3k+ plus words today
>Know I can get the last 2k out before going to sleep and dedicating my mornigg my to editing
>Whole body is stiff from shitty chair I sit at my desk with
This is why people take drugs. I see it now.

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>>25595925

>>25595710
why not

>>25595547
Women are just as bad in that regard, but in different ways. Really the most common dude mistkae is projecting masculine romantic attitudes onto women, who have a very different emotional ecology.

>>25595547
hey my book has all of these

>>25595824
Gross, elves.

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>>25595984

>>25595827
Elves are awesome, you shut your whore mouth.

>>25595811
The comedown from drugs makes chair soreness seems like nothing compared to how shit you feel.
Stick with caffeine in moderation. It is the only drug worth the costs to your body and mind in the long term. Most of the negative effects can be countered by getting decent sleep regularly.

>>25595565
>>25595570
Thanks. Yeah I'm going to just grind through it. I know the ending is going to suck because my heart isn't in it. I'll probably put it away and come back to revise in a couple weeks.

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>>25596027 >>25596497 >>25596566

lmao this guy (NJB) is obsessed with me (TB)
I am not the one writing that fanfic, nor am I every one of the many posters on whose shit lists you've made it.

>>25595815
>>25595797
>>25595699
Update the cover please

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>>25598492

On a jam to see if I can pull off a 10k word sword and sorcery short in under two days.

>>25595831
Citadel Miniatures are a fuck >>>/tg/stepon1d4s

>>25595984
They are and I'm more of a battletech guy, but I like their elves.

>>25596001
I thought you were all fucking kobolds (dog) when you weren't being ambushed by the kobold liberation army (draconic).

>>25596012
I cannot speak for anyone else but for my money, it's Elves all the way.

>>25595699
>>25595725
>>25595728
>>25595732
>>25595797
>>25595925

kill yourselves

>>25594242
Pynchon actually wrote all of his post-Mason-&-Dixon books on a computer

https://traff.co/0TIy5B40

please critique my short story, my intention while writing this story was to try and make the "flow" as natural as possible, sorry if this is thw wrong place, sorry if there is a better way to post it here than a random text hoster online, thanks

>>25596159
i think it's interesting. I was expecting the reveal to be that Lawrence and the satellite were the same thing, but the message ended up being different. If you're going for flow
>No-one is at fault- satellite cannot know that there can be a thing such as too much information.
seems like a bit of a burr

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>Rating & Verdict
>Rating: 8.5 / 10 (Strong / Promising)

>Summary: This draft is a remarkably atmospheric and psychologically astute piece of gothic fiction. It succeeds brilliantly in making the reader feel both the claustrophobia of isolation and the magnetic, dangerous pull of the unknown. With some minor pacing adjustments to tighten the transitional scenes, this manuscript has immense potential as a psychological thriller or horror-adjacent drama.

>Moderated: I will not discuss text that contains descriptions of sex between underage characters

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>>25596504

i bring a gift to the architect feeder anon

>>25595425
thanks

>>25595925
I don't think NJB understands that posters named "Anonymous" are different people. I wouldn't be surprised if he also struggles with object permanence. He probably cries every time mommy leaves the room.

>>25596383
Thanks. My next work is coming along nicely. I wish the same were true for the rest of this thread.

>>25595925
this cover sucks so much, nobody likes your first page already and if you pair it with that cover it'll be even more of a joke

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>>25596593 >>25596632 >>25596814

why the FUCK is dialogue so hard to write
is it because I suck at it irl
at least I finally got something written

>>25596583
>is it because I suck at it irl
no, I think what's going on is that you're doing too much "show, don't tell". not every word exchanged between people exists to provide information.
Even on the creative level you're falling into this trap. You say "two bowls of [alcoholic drink name]" then insert that one is skittish. Whether they're drinking whiskey or beer, whether one hates a certain flavor, etc. This stuff is like a flavor injector for setting the stage. People are not information processing machines, we are like little babies. We like our little sensory toys and colors to hold onto our attention. Add some gestures to the waitress retelling the story, did the ceramic bowl feel hot or cold to the touch?
You don't need too much, that's another trap, but now I think it helps to add a little.

>>25596593
ok that's good advice, ty

>>25596583
Firstly, three people is harder to manage a dialogue for because you need to keep pointing to whoevers talking. The structure could also be better. If character A speaks, does a little action, then A speaks AGAIN, merge that shit into one paragraph please.

Secondly, dont overexplain with the gestures. (The waitress scoffed. 'Ugh!') Ugh is already a scoff, its a bit redundant. Either commit to the laughs and grunts in the dialogue or outside of the dialogue.

Thirdly, don't overexplain with the dialogue. "Two drinks for me and my skittish friend." You technically don't have to explain the friend is skittish, you can just show he's skittish by having him ask for a weaker drink and a normal cup. Although, calling your friend meek and skittish in front of a woman could also be just playful banter/flirting/insulting, in which case the friend might even get offended. A simple scene like this could get a lot of mileage without describing anything. They're celebrating, so he forces his friend to drink while insulting him in front of a girl, showing he's an asshole. Does the meek friend rise to the provocation? OR, he's just trying to coax his buddy out of his shell, in which case, his words should be more complimentary, like 'my humble friend over here' instead.

They launched into each other. Kissing and groping furiously. Damien had his hand down her blouse and in her bra, squeezing her tit. She had her paw down his shorts and was fondling his stiff cock. Wow he felt big. She was very curious.

She took her tongue out for a second to ask him, “Just how big is this thing? You feel like a pornstar down there.”

Damian blushed, “yeah, it’s a... decent size.” He pulled his shorts and his cute little undies down to whip it out. “You’re the first girl that’s ever seen it, though.”

At the sight of it, something in Emilia’s brain malfunctioned. She lost all control of herself as hormones flooded every cell in her body and put themselves firmly in the driver’s seat. She plunged her mouth onto it and started sucking like she was giving CPR. She coiled her tongue around the shaft and squeezed—a trick she’d learned in college. She was pleased to see it clearly still worked, as Damian looked like he was having an out of body experience.

Girl, you may be fat, out of shape, with kids and in your late 30s, but you still know how to deliver the goods, huh?

Damien’s back was arched, his face pointed at the ceiling as he moaned with pleasure, his voice rising and falling, getting faster and slower. “ugh...ughh...UGHH..”

She’d been with enough guys to know your right hand didn’t prepare you for your real first time. Oh what she would have given to do it for the first time again.

When he came, there was so much Emilia gagged on it. Damien contorted like a gymnast doing a back-bend and let out a long “Ohhhhhhh” before his body went limp and he collapsed on the floor of the cramped little elevator, eyes closed, chest heaving, with a smile across his face.

“How was it?”

“I...yeah...oh...”

It was only then that she remembered the security camera in the corner. It was one of those ones on a swivel. She reached up and turned it to face the back corner, flashing it with a heap of cleavage in the process. Oh well, what was done was done.

>>25596632
they are gay and it's flirtatious needling
blue is bi actually but in the context of the scene the woman is a non factor

>>25596699
I figured considering the gay focus on eyes, but i just wanted to make a point with simple examples

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>>25596583
doest seem to bad. maybe for me, it feels a bit too mixed, like you've mixed action/scenes and dialogue. It feels interrupted, like a "sentence" mini-expo "Sentense" mini action.
like this
>"So, What brings you all the way out here? Surely the military had openings closer to home," he
said, his deep blue eyes complimenting the gently playful tone in his voice. "Why choose to
come halfway across the world?"

What is does for me is interrupts the flow from mental eye to dialogue and back. Maybe separate it into larger blocks. Also, three-person talks are often hard. sometimes you can use format tricks like normal vs bold (the dude) vs italic (waitress). or soft scene break where the food drink is served so the next dialogue is more separate. also you can use directing in the sense you first establish camera then the talk follows. she smiled and said "xyz " or a gruff voice interrupted "xzy" makes it clear who talks in a dialog

but im not sure how to write this either. im a very show and tell writer? set scene, directors instructions first, then roll action. talking tries to come in blocks. intermezzo of actions then talking. kinda like villan monologues? or dragon ball 'im charging my laser while you wait'. no idea if people like it or can even follow it since atm i just write grabage for my self. i like lots of words because that what my inner eye sees. some like a blank cavas like "john entered and walker over" not two pages of rando text of how corse the carpet is to set a mood.

>>25596566
Hey buddy at least it's not your cover art and first page

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>>25596978 >>25597333

Finalizing the next thing's cover art

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>>25597091

>tfw the curry spice hits your asshole and the buttplug is still inside

>>25596857
bro your designs are atrocious. on this and the first consumptive design it's really just the typeface that axes the image. have someone else do it if you care at all about anyone picking up your books. or if you do have someone else doing these, they don't know at all what they're doing.

>>25596978
>bro your designs are atrocious.
Let alone the stories lol. And this idiot acts like some kind of literary authority policing these threads and review bombing other writers. He's literal cancer.

On the scale of 1-10 of posessiveness, where does the sentence "Your eyes are mine." land?

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>>25597252

>>25596868
>NJB is obsessed with gay sex
>wonders why he inspired a homoerotic series

>>25597009
Here's the so-called review bomb >>25577161. You really are a drama queen.

>>25597083
well it depends on context. is someone literally possessing the cut-out eyes of his victim? is someone photographing another person's eyes? or are they simply projecting their power over another by some other desire?

>>25597083
What's wrong with public domain typeface "Moonlit Flow?"

>>25597091
Always jarring to see how homoerotic homophobes are

>>25597198
The context is an argument where a girl is mad at a boy who has started avoiding his gaze from her

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>>25596857
Might as well update a classic while I'm at it

>>25597252
Homophobes like NJB are commonly repressing their own gay tendencies... although, as much as he brings up gay sex, he's not doing a very good job of it. In related news, I discovered years ago that the most rigid, conservative Christians are the ones that know they need that level of external control.

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>>25597462

>write a modern era dante inferno with post dante philosophers
>place hegel as by himself in lowest level
>marx above him
>de sade in purgatory with stirner
>/our/boys schoppenhauer and nietzsche as ascending to paradiso

somebodys gotta do it

>>25597404
if any man was capable of thinking like an angel does, it was Nietzsche. It is an inhuman, mind destroying sort of thing that is unconscionable though.

If you actually wrote an epic that would be really cool, but there are no human beings with souls left in the world so i dont believe you can

>Was talking to a coworker about my latest story
>The MC is supposed to subtly be a paragon of libertarian virtues
>Coworker thought it was a transsexual allegory since several of the characters are transdimensional shape changers (think people who are secretly werewolves, angels, demons, etc.)
>reason
>because both words start with "trans"
I forget how dumb some people are sometimes. I had a good laugh over it though.

>>25597252
dammit I replied to the wrong post

>>25596978
What's wrong with public domain typeface "Moonlit Flow?"

>>25597557
>my form differs from the one I was assigned in the 69th dimension
You wrote a trans allegory anon, accept it

>>25597356
I'm afraid he might be attracted to me (TB).

>>25592968
I seek wrongthink out like it's either steak or honey, nourishing or a treat. Burroughs was wrongthink from start to finish, and his work enhances my life.
Self-conscious art is nearly always bad.

decided to write a bit today
https://pastebin.com/3UrY7twi
feel free to read it

>>25597649
gj anon

>>25597649
ai

every time i write a 'wood' door/furniture i feel deeply compelled to google different woods and choose one at random

do you guys think the carpenter autists are going to one day call me out on my bullshit?

>>25597580
I'm afraid you're right. The worst part is... since this started after he took great offense to your review of his book... he's also a bottom.

I've been obsessing lately over why my writing is so unsuccessful, trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I suspect it's for the same reason that people don't warm up to me as a person (whatever that is). The consequence is that I don't have a lot of experience interacting with people positively, and I don't like writing adversaries because I hate people like that. I also can't bring myself to make innocent people suffer in my stories, because I hate that too. What can I do about this? I'm out of ideas.

>>25597816
When I write wood I mean erect penis

>>25597884
i guess u just suck, go watch cartoons or something instead

>>25597921
i know you're hurting inside but you don't have to take it out on some random anon

>>25597884
Low conflict cozy stuff has a audience.
Writing heart felt moral stories for children is also a great option.

You don't have to write miserable people hurting people because of trama or whatever is winning literature awards now days.
You can write hopefully optimistic or wonder filled stories that speak to the best in people.
Just tells such tales well and try not to make it boring.

How did you start building the habit of writing daily?

>>25597816
Carpenters aren't going to get irritated until you use a dovetail joint wrong.

>>25595979
Hazels are actually pretty short.

>>25598405
I don't.
I write in structured binges that fit my lifestyle and free time between work.

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im so so excited about this project that i'm working on
the pacing is turning out perfectly and the themes and such are coming together and it's turning into some real freaky gothic horror and it feels so good for a novel to not be spiraling out of control as I reach the halfway point.

>>25598405
have fun

>>25597789
nah, pangram exonerates me
>>25597785
thanks

>>25598492
I know, but I have a very vivid memory of seeing a bunch of hazels in a row in Germany when I went there as a child, and there were a bazillion little songbirds in them. They've always been my favorite trees.

>>25598405
Deny yourself short-term pleasures like social media (ie 4chan) each day until you've written a certain minimum (ie 500 words)

>>25598405
After you've written a certain minimum (ie 500 words) indulge in your vices immediately (ie jerking off) to pavlov yourself. Even better, jerk off as you write, if possible

>>25597816
What are you writing where you expect a large enough audience of carpenters for it to ever be a problem?

Walked to the street lights
Masticating soft damp hay
Hamburger melon

>>25598844
can t type wit one hnd...trying....

>>25598969
Waddled to the Wally world
Chewin' tobacci'
Shart splattered

>>25595574
True, for any anons who want to know what NOT the fuck to do when writing stream of consciousness, read a page of Ducks, Newburyport

>>25599158
Can you (or anyone else for that matter) post a stream of consciousness bit that does work well? From anywhere, don't care if an anon wrote it or not I'm just curious for good examples.

>>25599479
>On the contrary, it seems to me pretty sure that she, whoever she may be, is damned, since it’s all a matter of flats and hats and sea gulls, or so it seems to be for a hundred people sitting here well dressed, walled in, furred, replete. Not that I can boast, since I too sit passive on a gilt chair, only turning the earth above a buried memory, as we all do, for there are signs, if I’m not mistaken, that we’re all recalling something, furtively seeking something. Why fidget? Why so anxious about the sit of cloaks; and gloves—whether to button or unbutton? Then watch that elderly face against the dark canvas, a moment ago urbane and flushed; now taciturn and sad, as if in shadow. Was it the sound of the second violin tuning in the ante-room? Here they come; four black figures, carrying instruments, and seat themselves facing the white squares under the downpour of light; rest the tips of their bows on the music stand; with a simultaneous movement lift them; lightly poise them, and, looking across at the player opposite, the first violin counts one, two, three——
>Flourish, spring, burgeon, burst! The pear tree on the top of the mountain. Fountains jet; drops descend. But the waters of the Rhone flow swift and deep, race under the arches, and sweep the trailing water leaves, washing shadows over the silver fish, the spotted fish rushed down by the swift waters, now swept into an eddy where—it’s difficult this—conglomeration of fish all in a pool; leaping, splashing, scraping sharp fins; and such a boil of current that the yellow pebbles are churned round and round, round and round—free now, rushing downwards, or even somehow ascending in exquisite spirals into the air; curled like thin shavings from under a plane; up and up…. How lovely goodness is in those who, stepping lightly, go smiling through the world! Also in jolly old fishwives, squatted under arches, obscene old women, how deeply they laugh and shake and rollick, when they walk, from side to side, hum, hah!
>“That’s an early Mozart, of course——”
from The String Quartet by Virginia Woolf

>>25599519
>>25595479
i think its important to think of stream of consciousness as an impressionist technique. you shouldnt just write what the character is thinking, you need to use the characters thoughts to paint a subjective and vague picture of characters, scene, and action.

>>25596159
i really wouldve liked some damn paragraph breaks, but i enjoyed the way you weaved together the two perspectives, slowly at first and then gradually increasing the frequency. it seems like you are mixing past and present tense for no particular reason at certain points, which kind of muddles the narrative.

What are the most commonly recommended solutions for writers getting burnt out on writing? Like I know what scene I need to write next, but I just don't want to write it.

>>25598933
It’s a memoir of a man who spends his entire life crafting doors only to discover he has never actually walked through one. Then it turns kind of kafkaesque.

>>25599884
Leisure time

>>25597816
>>25599898
if you are writing an entire story about wooden doors, itd probably make sense to do some research about the geography and properties of certain wood types instead of choosing at random.

>>25599964
I already raped three women this weekend

>>25599884
Either read or take a break

>>25592968
Oh no, everyone's gonna know I like magic and homoerotic tension between girls. Who cares?

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>>25600155

>>25600161
transgender post

>>25600166
the only transgender thing in writing... is having a FeMC. sorry to break it to all the eggs here

>>25591898
What is flash fiction?

>>25599884
Do the grunt work. Just write it out with the full intention of completely throwing away the whole draft. Don't for a second try to make it good. Accept that you're just doing a grunt pass.

Gets the juices flowing.

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>>25602154

>tfw writing a horror novel
>finish chapter and try to go to bed
>too spooked by my own story to fall asleep
i feel like such a dweeb

is it even possible to get traditional publishing without surrendering to romantasy slop / smut / YA nonsense?

>>25600201
VERY short stories. Anything from one page to one paragraph in length. Usually can be written in a single session.

>>25600243
under 2K words typically as well. pretty common in literary magazines

>>25600243
Oh awesome. I am getting back into reading so I'll check the ones in the OP. Thx!

>>25600242
Connections in the industry or having a existing audience/social proof.

I don't even see the point of trad pub anymore. They don't advertise, instead they expect you to do it.
They don't want amateur edited manuscripts . They expect you to pay a professional editor out of your own pocket first, then just change details of the manuscript to suit their personal fancy and sensitivities.

If you are paying out of pocket for advertising, and you are paying out of pocket for editors, what exactly are they providing that justifies basically handing over your rights and most of the money to them?

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>>25600268

>>25600251
pretty solid argument honestly. what's a good alternative then? indie publishing the way to go? self publish and hope for the best? hard without a market. even if you are not aiming to make money, just getting your words in front of an audience is difficult.

>>25595720
Yeah, because it's legitimately worse than what an AI can shit out in a few seconds.

>>25597009
Bore please go and stay go.

>>25600256
Indie/small press publishers the focus on the particular niche your story falls into might be ideal.
I would still recommend looking up literary agents that are accepting submissions for the kind of book you wrote.
However the hard path of self publishing is usually the only viable option for the vast majority of writers.

>>25592917
I also, and maybe this is a stretch, think the protag is a standin for the author.

>>25600251
>what exactly are they providing that justifies basically handing over your rights and most of the money to them
their audience. that's literally it. you are paying for exposure to their audience and 'marketing' and getting readers. even if you think their marketing sucks, its still a step above shadowdropping on amazon. its the difference between dropping an indie game on itch.io or steam


desu i think the true path would be shooting for some sort of webnovel release, and using the webnovel audience as a springboard to tradpub

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>>25600291

>95% of people in this thread think a high school education makes them a writer

Do you people even read?

>>25600278
>desu i think the true path would be shooting for some sort of webnovel release, and using the webnovel audience as a springboard to tradpub

That is a moonshot for the western market.
I can count on only one hand the number of webnovel authors who got picked up by tradpub, and it was always after they were hits.

>>25600281
didn't shad diversity self publish and still sell a ton of books

>>25600281
the webnovel tag systems/algorithms are very nice and modern systems for readers, and allow organic hits to occur. there's a lot of dumpster divers who like diamond mining

its a completely different metagame, sure, but tradpub is so outdated in comparison.

>>25600280
>come slay this strawman I constructed

While I often point out how poorly read and poor at reading comprehension some regulars of this thread are (especially when they bitch about normal words being too hard for their extremely limited vocabulary), I have never seen anyone here claim that a high school education makes someone a writer.

>>25600285
Do you have a decade long youtube career with hundreds of thousands of followers?
No?
Then what is even the point of bringing up shad?

It be like pointing to a minor celebrity memoir getting a publishing deal as evidence that you should write a memoir, despite no one knowing who the fuck you are.

>>25600300
well I'll just make a YouTube channel to gather a following, if he can do it then it can't be too hard considering he's literally retarded

>>25600291
I guess you have to count yourself among these, because I was clearly implying that these "writers" are all unread and without discernible talent and have only a rudimentary education that they think equips them to write the next great [insert country] novel. No, you can't just write a solipsistic description of a very mundane situation in your life and pass it off as art. This thread is rife with main-character syndrome enthusiasts. So.the balance of this discourse is people don't need to outright say things that are plainly implied by their actions.

>nobody here is even close to being good enough to be traditionally published

>>25600310
>But chatgpt says my manuscript is a masterpiece

>>25600310
To be fair neither is that Potato Salley Rooney. You expect good art in 2026? You poor soul.

>>25600305
>No, you can't just write a solipsistic description of a very mundane situation in your life and pass it off as art
You really don't know me and your guess/blind insult couldn't be farther from the mark.

If you want to get personal, you are just a crab in a bucket looking to keep others down.
Everything you say is just another claw to tear apart those around you.
It's gross and unproductive.

>>25600310
Getting traditionally published has nothing at all to do with how good the writing is.
It has everything to do with how good the person is at selling themselves to the particular demographic of rich white liberal women who make up the majority of publishers and literary agents.

>>25600338
No, I read a bunch of the writing in this thread and realized it was this meme

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LbZAakIN8QY

Yeah great, you know how to communicate in a language. What else you got?

>>25600347
I will never get this "white" liberal women meme. White women are as proportionately represented as other races in countries where this kind of thing is happening. Its just an attempt to pander to unreasonable leftists by punching down on white people some more; it won't work because they want white people to be erased completely.

>>25600348
So you watched a safe-sleazy failed comedian who isn't funny and decided to baselessly insult everyone with shit you heard from somewhere else?

>>25600354
Seethe all.you want but he is right on this matter

>>25600353
Well if I called them what they really are I would get banned again and you would dismiss what I was saying for being a [insert 20th century political ideology I don't hold].

Regardless, it's a highly insular group with a very particular taste from a very particular background who gatekeep based on their in-group values, not on quality.

>>25600361
Samefag or dick rider.
Ether way it's sad.

>>25600348
A lot of the time, arent people that have very strong favorite authors just drones for serialized slop? Usually it's just one or two works that really stand out and the rest is just valuely of a similar style. At least if you spend your education just going through the classics, I don't think that who is your favorite demonstrates how passionate you are for reading or how talented you are. It's good to read, but I feel like this is just a product of consumer culture telling people they will never be good enough to produce things for themselves. They must buy and buy and buy and glut themselves on entertainment until they've been numbed into a stupor by hedonism or else they'll never have any value.

>>25600305
i have to admit this is an accurate portrayal of me, but the pursuit of it has led me down the course of reading the actual classics, even getting reading guides for anything i can't sufficiently conquer on my own. a late start is better than no start. as a result i've definitely pushed the timeline on all of my projects out 5-10 years further than i had originally anticipated.

>>25600399
That's the spirit anon. I started learning piano in my mid 30s and my composition gains have been growing rapidly, more than they ever did when I wasted so much time falling for the bedroom producer meme. I'm not trying to be a crab, I'm trying to get people out of complacency with just being alright writing college essays for fun.

>>25600409
>I am insecure so need to project on others my own flaws

You are only helping your own ego, crab.

How do you even write about love and romance when you've been an Intel all your life? My only experience is getting cucked in highschool and I don't even remember how to make a move now.

>>25600558
Read romance stories and copy tropes from the better ones.
Same way someone writes about detectives without being a detective, or doctors without being a doctor.
Do your research, get feedback, and fact check details with decent sources.

>>25600558
You could do an incel + pixie dream girl arc.

How do I write erotic stories and make money/build an audience with them? The material I want to write isn't allowed on Amazon and pretty much all other places

>>25600615
yaoi

>>25600615
Amazon is where the vast majority of paying customers are.

I would advise you that if you want to make profit that you modify your vision to something that is allowed there. Otherwise you are shooting yourself in the foot as far as your goal of making money.

Most writers are extremely insecure and constantly obsessed with being perceived as smart. Don't be like most writers.

>>25600615
It is theoretically possible to receive money for writing erotica. The most probable way to go about it is to post your work on a site that allows it, like ao3, and then beg for money via writing commissioned work for others. Of course, you can't advertise on most good sites, like ao3, so you'd have to find another way to do that. And you can't use most payment processors like paypal for it because they'll ban you if they find out you've used it for nsfw material. And of course, this constrains you to writing short commissioned work, which I imagine is not where you want to be at. If you want to get money for writing original work, you have even fewer options.

I could never make money of smut

Not for ethical reasons, but because I lose all interest in the story once I nut and I have to delete it and start over every time. I must have written thousands of short smut stories, all gone in the wind because only foreplay is hot to me

shit all the main characters in my stories are women and other than my sister and my mom I haen't spoken to a woman in like almost a year
just realized i have no idea wtf i'm doing

>>25600626
You are talking out of your ass again, likely for attention by posting blanket insults.

>>25600688
You choose what you write and who you talk to.

>>25600688
same but then when i post random shit on 4chan people call me a woman so im like the guy that landed a plane by playing flight simulator

call your mom

Shota and anthro fox milf hijinks. Comments, questions. Yes I will be accepting the award for best new writer.

https://rentry.org/v8h5ezo7

TLDR: considering whether "selling out" is worth the effort.

I'm a decent writer. It's not my day job or anything, but I've been thinking I could monetize whatever mediocre talent I possess. And since romance has the most voracious and dedicated readers, it's the obvious choice.
So I could write romance.
Sexy vampires, shmexy fairy princes, et cetera.
The problem is, as a reader I prefer other genres and romance is boring to me. It's the bland chicken soup of fiction.
Should I go for it anyway? Is the juice worth the squeeze? Better yet, has anyone in this thread published romance before, especially on Amazon? What's your experience?
Thanks.

>>25600749
Just my experience.

Came up with a way to fix my length issue
I'll just make the ending longer and drag it out. It's a horror story after all, the "monster" always comes back one last time.

>>25600925
Romance is the biggest genre but also the most competitive. Theoretically, you should pursue a niche that is underserved. Simple supply vs demand
But more importantly, if you want to monetize your writing you should pursue whatever genre you understand best (one you read a lot in). If you find romance stories boring it's highly unlikely you'll be able to write a bestselling romance.

>competition
wow two cakes!

>>25601455
except there's 5,000,000 cakes and most of them never get so much as looked at, let alone tasted
...retard