This is what /lit/ has written recently. These are the respective first page of each book. Which one has the best first page?Yes they are all shit.
>>25573836Top right is intriguing enough for me to read more. So I'd say it's the best.I've read Mack's first story, it was good but I wish it were more developed, something longer. The others I'm not very interested in.
They’re all shit. I would only read more in the same way I stare at car crashes, to see just how shit it can get, in that regard the bottom one seems to be the most promising.
according to AI.
>>25573875They're all around 4.5. That Rus bullshit was so boring I couldn't even finish a page.
>>25573836King of La reads like a movie scriptCur sounds like schizo bableIt's all forgotten... reads wellChemical divorce reads wellRus is stupid girl shit.
>missing the only masterpiece
NJB is a once in a generation genius, and you are all vastly dumber for not having read both of his published works in their entirety. Don't lump him in with run-of-the-mill garbage /lit/ shit.
>>25573918we can't possibly compare this masterpiece to all those shitters. it won't be fair
>>25573957I realize that, and you are correct and clearly a patrician yourself, but sometimes the lesser ones need to be reminded of their place. For their own good as well.
>>25573924AI loves Boor's story the most. A.I. is never wrong
>>25574027Ultimate proof AI truly doesn't understand shit about writing.There's a reason they're still unable to write anything but immediately recognizable slop. They like that sort of style.
>>25573836Rus is least bad on a technical level.Cur has by far the best idea and initial hook, but the author squanders it very fast.If I had to pick one book to actually read all the way through, it'd be It's All Forgotten Now.
I hate all of them and couldn't read more than a few sentences before checking out.
>>25574051How dare you not include this
>>25573875>King of L.A. - Nicholas John Boor>Rating: 4.5 / 10Way too high of rating for the dysgenic jew who spams his lllm sloppa here
AI loves King of LA. Her'es the prompt too
lol
I’m changing “last week’s holocaust” to “last month’s holocaust” to improve historical accuracy regarding the firebombing of Dresden. Otherwise, I think my story is quite good. FZ
>>25574027To be fair, this >>25573918 isn't the incipit, it's taken from somewhere in the middle.
literally what's wrong with this, The Chemical Divorce is just the rule of cool turned into a story
>>25574414It doesn't read well. The "cool" bits should be interspersed with regular prose, placed where they can make the most impact. Otherwise you get sensory overload and nothing really hits.Reading the passage my mind goes from a cross to a guillotine to a stump to a dirty napkin to crows to rattling skulls to weapons to sunsets to apples to keen, gleaming instants... it's just too much, too incoherent, with no apparent connection between them. Maybe that style can work in a fragmented dream sequence, but the author should really tone it down and consider painting with impressionism rather than abstract art.
lol Bore thought getting a chatbot to rate CC last would reflect badly on it
>>25574599That's not even consumptive curs page 1.
>>25574523the story is like 98% dialogue based on Venus in Fur, but I could understand not liking the ending as a matter of personal preference
>>25574603Yes it is, but the introduction is taken out of the context of the book being a novel about a literary vampire. >A new kind of vampire is on the prowl.>Something’s wrong with Kitty, a terminally online, slobbish history buff. One random day, she loses all desire to consume—be it food, drink, or media. Things only get worse when she realizes what she must do to solve her problem: produce. A novel idea comes to her, and she writes a bit of it down, but hates each one of her sentences. How can she possibly carve her name into the history she adores with such poor skills?>She finds her answer in the darkest corners of the internet. TB. According to real history, the disease imparts literary prowess. But infecting herself with it proves insufficient. It must spread. And not to just anybody; only to adepts of the craft. Kitty’s quest to feed on others’ literary skill takes her on a misadventure through the lives (and deaths) of a series of authors, deep into their own foul methods of obtaining talent.>For readers’ consumptive pleasure, a strange, dark, irreverent, and bitingly funny tale awaits.>*Contains explicit sexual content, graphic violence, and metacommentary.*
>>25573836Here's the rest of It's All Forgotten Now if anyone wants to read it. The Laundromat Clown and That Ole Gang of Mine are the best stories imo. >https://litter.catbox.moe/jlrvxhr5x21d3n35.pdf
>>25573836you're forgetting John Jay Stancliff's new book Pierce
>>25574617Also some parts of The Chemical Divorce seem off (just my opinion as a casual reader of the passages posted in the thread).>...I hammered out the chromatic melody... My tempo quickened...This part is more telling than showing. I would've liked more physical sensations related to the fingers. Did the narrator begin slowly or immediately burst out into melody? "Chromatic" is also a useless descriptor here. Instead, maybe tell us how fast or slow the song is meant to be played.>Gulping, I pissed myself. "Come forth."This part also. It's so sudden and confusing. The dragging door, the opening of the songbook, the hammering of the keys are all described in detail. Then the narrator pisses himself, brushed over in a single sentence. No details at all, we're just expected to imagine it. And who's even talking, the narrator? The dialogue is so out of place, because "come forth" sounds like something a calm, composed person would say. At first I thought the person holding the sword was talking. At least make the narrator say it shakily or something, like "c-come forth." Also the narrator was still playing piano right? Did he shout "COME FORTH" so that the druid could hear him?>...his sword's strong edge trimming an inch off my goateeSo passive and weak! Why use present participle "trimming" instead of "trim"? A "sword's strong edge" is again telling us about his sword's sharpness, not showing. The agency is assigned to the sword instead ot the druid doing the action. And try using a better, more active verb like "flicked" or "shaved" instead of "trimming" which sounds like he's gardening.>As her soup splashed my faceMore passive voice that detracts from the imagery. Starting with "As" makes the violent action of splashing soup sound like a passing breeze or something. Was it not a big deal? Was the soup hot or cold?Overall it reads like the narrator is floating in a dream and has lost his sense of reality or touch. Maybe that was what Zeist was aiming for? Because otherwise everything reads confused and my sense of immersion is lost, even when the text is written in first person.
>>25573836I don't think any of them are shit. Most posters on /lit/ are bitter faggot losers who hate everything. That being said, here are my thoughts on what I'm reading. Hopefully useful feedback if any of the authors lurk. >King of LANothing wrong with it. I can see the scene in my head, but I think it needs a hook, something emotional to draw you in. Right now it's just a picture. Whoever said it reads like a movie script is right. Chill it on the ellipses. >CCProbably not fair to judge since it's just an introduction, but frankly this doesn't make me want to read more, and it's a little too up its own ass. I see what you're getting at, but I don't think you necessarily prove that fiction or writing is evil. Perhaps a quote or short epilogue from another piece might better summarize what you're getting at. This reads like performative depth and saying "I am very serious" vs. priming the reader for what you're getting ready to present in the story itself. >It's All Forgotten NowAlthough I haven't read the rest of the story, I think this does a competent job of setting the scene. A little detached and sterile, but that's probably a stylistic choice. It's not flashy, but it does draw you in a little. Could use a bit more of an emotional hook, but "Vinny knew he didn't own his thoughts" is strange enough to keep you reading. >First of The Rus This will appeal to a specific reader, and I imagine there are lots of them out there. It's polished and controlled. It's hard to get a read on where it's going. Just from the first page and title, I don't know if it's historical fiction or fantasy. It's not exactly my cup of tea, just because those types of books aren't exactly my taste, but I think if someone were into that world, they would certainly continue reading. >The Chemical Divorce A lot going on here. Certainly the most creative/outlandish start, but a little murky. There's a kind of dream logic that is a bit hard to follow, but if subsequent pages clarify that I think this intro could be great. All depends on the rest of the book. If the rest of the book continues this way I think it would be hard for me to finish.
When's the nigger guy going to post his novel
>>25574705>the narrator is floating in a dream and has lost his sense of reality or touchThere's a twist during an argument between Barb and Otto that re-contextualizes the previous events. The story has a lot of telling instead of showing because too many readers told me they were confused, so I added lines that explicitly explain what's going on. I have strong opinions about accessibility: never using flashbacks, for example, because some people find them difficult to keep track of. One of the reasons Otto loses control of his bladder is because the protagonist is always supposed to be outmatched or in danger, and I didn't want to add even more dialogue to convey his fear. I didn't have Otto stutter while saying "come forth" because it would have broken the parallelism of him repeating the line multiple times throughout the course of the story.Incidentally, the "strong edge" of a sword is another word for the forte. To make things as accurate as possible, I did a considerable amount of research regarding the parts of an organ, how locks work, and occidental occultism. The dynamic between Otto and Barb was based on John Dee and Edward Kelley.
>>25574748>There's a twist during an argument between Barb and Otto that re-contextualizes the previous events.If the passive floatiness is deliberate, then it improves my opinion of the text.But speaking as a passing reader, the difficulty of picturing what was happening on the first page is off-putting. Instead of being pulled into your story by sensory details, I had to stop and parse and question every step of the way.What are "sour" notes? What does the melody being chromatic have to do with anything? Why did he piss himself? Did he really piss himself or was it a hallucination? Why is the druid not reacting to the piss puddle or smell? What does a "druid" even look like? Why is the author using passive voice? => These are bad, distracting questions that should be answered by vivid sensory details and clear, unambiguous word choice. The "pissing" is the detail readers focus in on, because it is so out of place.What does the church being 'liquefied' mean? Why is the narrator chained to a door? Who is McGorey? Why did a B-17 roar overhead? => These are the good mysteries that I would much rather be focused on, but cannot, because I have already forgotten about them after being distracted by other inconsistencies!>The story has a lot of telling instead of showing because too many readers told me they were confusedI don't think telling is bad per se, but when you tell us "he pissed himself" and don't expand on it I just get more confused. Sensory details should be the best way to explain strange happenings in a grounded, realistic way that readers can relate to.I would recommend reading the first few pages of "Piranesi" by Susanna Clarke or "Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World" by Haruki Murakami to see how surreal situations can be introduced to a reader without throwing obscure occultist references or immersion-breaking ambiguities in their face. Strangeness should be slowly introduced like worldbuilding. References should be made deliberately, after asking what it actually brings to the story.Otherwise, I'm not going to assume everything's explained later - I'm just going to drop the book, because it doesn't read like a polished work of fiction.
>>25574748>"Not much of a doorkeeper..." A druid stepped into the moonlight, his sword's strong edge trimming an inch off my goatee. "If you don't face the entrance."This line could be changed, for example, to:>"Not much of a doorkeeper..." A horned, tattooed man stepped into the moonlight, flicked his blade, and shaved a whole inch off my goatee. "...if you don't face the entrance." He grimaced slightly at the stink.Active voice, much clearer picture of what druid McGorey looks like, and acknowledgement of the piss puddle so that readers aren't left wondering.
>>25574881I cut most of the description because and added the "Maybe there's no difference" line to set up the philosophical revelation at the end of the story following "Great work." The strangeness is just to keep the audience's attention: I asked readers to mark where they got bored and added punch lines or gaps to those paragraphs. There are reasons for all these things you mentioned that can't be explained without spoilers (I'm very happy with the three twists regarding Savagery, Otto's potion, and the black mirror), but most people seem unfamiliar with the ancient Egyptian text this story is based on, so it's understandable some find it confusing. Any member of a magical order would probably recognize the references—for everyone else, I just wanted to keep the pace moving. That said, it's good you're reading actively.
>>25575179Don't dismiss his criticism while you try to justify your story choices later. This is something I learned as a writer, we aren't you as a reader so we won't know all these nuances and plot twists and can easily glaze over it. It's your job as the writer to ease us into it. George McDonalds Lilith has a surreal atmosphere and defines evil to us but he never needed to hide random shit. It felt naturally revealed. Try to find ways to introduce concepts like the Egyptian gods without an info dump. How? Well that's your job.
>>25574719When you learn some manners.
>>25573875kek, how did you get it to be this critical? What AI and what prompt?
I guess I'm not surprised how so many take CC's introduction at face value. Many tend to have trouble with subtext
>>25575258How does the introduction signalize that it's supposed to not be taken at face value? There is nothing that shows that it's not delivered by omniscient narrator. As it is it will make most of the readers cringe and close the book. Since you are some self-published nobody moron your readers will not give you benefit of doubt.Seems like a big issue that you should've taken into consideration before releasing the book.But let me guess:>I AM GENIUS
>>25575258No wonder Boor gave you that 1 star review. This is a delusional take. When people give you well meaning criticism, my first move wouldn’t be to lash out and call them morons. Maybe you are a genius, but odds are you’re not, and even if you are your reader isn’t so have some respect for them.
>>25575258It's not subtext well done. Look at rus for polished subtext. Wing adds in tons of specific details on fashion. The subtext tells us the girl is hyper fixated on appearances and there's a social game going on in a bride contest. She clearly wears a mask and has an air of superiority. All that with less words.
>>25575301>Nooo if a retard gives you retarded criticism you must accept it or you're arrogant!How come the reviewer is never arrogant for speaking about things they don't understand?
>>25575301>even if you are a genius your reader isn’t, so you must dumb down your writing for themWow.
>>25575398It's self published book.
>>25575398Okay then have fun. No one will read your book.
>>25573836>King of L.A. Present tense in first sentence. Not reading that bullshit.>Consumptive CurThat's an Introduction. If the actual book is like that, wouldn't read past the first page.>It's all Forgotten NowIt's just autistically explanatory, without any proper narration whatsoever. I read the first page, but would not read past that in an actual book.>First of the RusIt's fine. I would read more pages to decide whether the book is for me or not.>The Chemical DivorceSudden but okay. I would read more pages to decide whether the book is for me or not.
>>25575415nobody will read yours either
>>25575397Personalities aside, your average /lit/ reader probably has higher written/verbal comprehension capabilities than the random normie who’s going to stumble upon your Amazon book. If the people here are telling you it’s not working, I’d heavily consider their opinion. Do you want to be read or do you want to languish in perfect obscurity? The choice is yours. Feel free to join the fraternity of ego centric geniuses that no one reads.
>>25573836Chemical Divorce amused me most; Consumptive Cur unfortunately begins with a really tiresome (bad) lit/crit take, which amused me too (of course) but in the wrong way
>>25575432I don’t have a book. I’m just reading what’s written here
>>25575433You’re too kind. Do not humor him concerning his erroneous estimate of his own intelligence.
>>25575258Just you wait till you hear some us think the shitty introduction is the only palpable part of the book. Kitty? Seriously? Fuck off.
>>25575201I appreciate the feedback and I'll check Lilith out. There is dream sequence later on in which Otto relives the first page of the book but with the knowledge he has learned, which I think is pretty cool.
>>25573836Way too many words on a single page. Got bored just looking at it.Sorry lads, I'm sure the story is great..but like. That's a lot of words. Maybe next time.
Geez, calm down. Low-quality feedbackers get triggered far too easily.The satirical subtext of the intro being missed is that the tirade against fiction comes right before a work of fiction by the author of said tirade. Seems obvious to me how farcical this is, but I guess I'm a slightly more astute reader than most.>>25575479lol, did you mean "palatable?"
>>25575489Nothing I hate more than when a writer uses words
>>25575301>critique the critique>critiquer takes it personally and accuses you of being unable to handle critiqueIs there no self-awareness?
>>25575518Yes I did mean palatable, my bad there, thank you. To flesh out my critique a bit more in the vein of good discussion, my main issue with your work is that I cannot stand the main character at all. The introduction is shitty because you reference too many real people and works, the actual idea is interesting and I do not hate it for itself. I just feel the introduction deserved a different book, that the book itself can be made better if you change the main character. Kitty? Seriously? Fuck off.
>>25575290>How does the introduction *signal that it's *not supposed to be taken at face value?By containing subtext
>>25575588>I cannot stand the main character at allAll that "fleshing out" and this is the only bit of substance in your criticism. It's also not my problem.
>>25575522Anything more than 20 lines a page is torture. Sorry but welcome to 2026.
>>25575597Is it not valid though? Are main characters being likeable just too cliche for you? Look man, your critique of writing itself is not lost on me, and as I told you I like the ideas in your book, but your capacity to make reading your work enjoyable is not as developed as you think it is. I realize being critiqued sets you on the defensive, it’s natural, it happens to all of us, I admit it happens to me. But realize that beneath the shotposting decorum of 4chan, I’m trying to tell you your ideas and critiques of the meta and nature of the writing craft are interesting, your use of a story about literary vampirism to convey said ideas is also interesting, the final execution of it made experiencing your ideas and viewpoints difficult and unenjoyable for me, if your answer is an author is that my enjoyment as the reader is not your problem then I guess.. okay? What is your problem then? What is the scope of writing and publishing if not the enjoyment of the consumer? Is it some way of immortalizing your existence? Proving something to yourself? Proving something to others? Who are these others and how do you define them as separate from me or my opinion which is not your problem?
>>25575544Keep up this attitude and no one will even give your shit a fair shake. They’ll just think you’re a dickhead and write you off or leave bad reviews on something they haven’t even read out of spite
>>25575628This is good feedback but he won’t listen.
>25575589Okay, genius, how exactly does it signalize it's not supposed to be taken at face value?>by subtextWhat subtext?Point at the page and tell me where's the signaling and the subtext. I am afraid I do not see any.>The satirical subtext of the intro being missed is that the tirade against fiction comes right before a work of fiction by the author of said tirade. Seems obvious to me how farcical this is, but I guess I'm a slightly more astute reader than most.Just use cursive for that, genius, that's how books do that. Ever read one? That's how Umberto Eco did it and he (unlike you) wasn't self-published retard who doesn't read but thinks he is genius. It didn't occur to you EVER that you are self-published retard and people who open your book open it with that in mind and the introductory section reads like edgy high schooler wrote it so 99% of readers will close the book immediately and only edgy high schoolers will read on? Is that your audience? Then I have bad news for you.Trying to seem intelligent, rather than write well. Cannot take criticism. NGMI.
>>25575631>makes broad generalization about what readers will think/will do based entirely on what he himself will doYou're bad at giving feedback and also a bit of a bad person too
>>25575652Do you know where you are?
>>25575429>If the actual book is like thatThe rest of the book is a proper novel and better than you'll ever be able to write, you cretin.
>>25575433>considering the opinion of your inferiorsLol no. This is what my inferiors do.
>>25575518>subtext of the intro being missedAbsolutely nobody missed that. Even /lit/ isn't that illiterate. They're saying it's a slog.
>>25575628interesting > likeable>inb4 "she's not Interesting"That's also not my problem because all she needs to be is interesting to me.
>>25575628Not him but disliking a character does not mean the character or the book are bad. It's also not really constructive criticism. What is he supposed to do, rewrite Kitty to be "probably more likeable by people like that guy on 4chan"?
>>25575638>I cannot grasp subtext unless you clearly signal it with cursive>Yes, I am that retarded.>Yes, I will act as if it's your problem.Wow.
>>25575663>other users are often shitheads so I have to be a shithead tooDo you habitually let others govern your behavior?
>>25575684Nobody has said it's a slog except you right now
>>25575638>Can you point out in the text where the subtext is?lol idiot
>>25575723Are there any /lit/ authors that aren’t sensitive shit babies?
>>25575723>Nobody has said itIt was subtext.
>>25575731Me. I'm amazing at taking criticism. In fact, I have a fetish for it. Criticize me more, daddy. Harsher.
>>25575731Sensitivity is generally regarded as a positive quality in the creative
>>25575736Kek. Got him.
>>25575740In the sense of perceiving more, not of being a thin-skinned little bitch.
>>25575736You should've signalized that subtext stronger
>>25575750You're getting insulting because your skin is thin
>>25574027Basically it's saying that King of L.A. is the best because it's formulaic and probably follows the rules from some textbook written 50 years ago or something.And Consumptive Cur is bad literally because it's not superficially masquerading well enough as "literature".It doesn't even seem to care about the content or consider that some people might simply prefer one style over the other.
>>25575789It's a shitty LLM, of course it works like that.
>>25575781>no uThis bitch considers himself an author.
>>25575796Let's see your book buddyOh wait
Who knew Boor was a little bitch. Shit writer. Whiny little faggot.
>>2557580775% of the replies in this thread are Boor and Johnson arguing or samefagging
>>25575804>You shat in this soup.>Oh yeah? Let's your soup, buddy.>What?>If you can't make a perfect soup, you can't criticize mine.>There's a turd in there.>Let's see your chef diploma.>Wait, the turd has something written on it... "King of L.A."...
>>25575804Even the very first page reads like a script. "Hip, sharply dressed industry types are mingling". Lmao.
>>25575688Okay, you write for yourself, understandable, in that effort you’ve succeeded.>>25575691I guess generally you are right, but I don’t recall any his being a writing workshop or the op mentioning anything about being constructive. It’s still valid criticism of his work.
>>25575736Anon you fiend
>>25573836Mack's is the only one I'd give a shot.
>>25576012Frank Zeist sounds good too,t. not Frank Zeist
This is a fun thread. I’m glad people are passionate.
>>25573836bottom's prose was decent and i was mildly interested in what was happening
>>25575856Nah I've made (1) post near the top of this thread and nothing else. Tee Pee Jeetson is having a shitfit meltdown today like the rest of /lit/ sissies coming to grips with their own futility and NJB's greatness ;)
>>25576179Tee Pee Jeetson is pretty funny Ngl
>>25576179Bit tedious your work innit? The lights are on but no emotions are home. Sterile. I simply dont care what happens to any of the nobs in your stories.
>>25575479i know a Kitty
Give it me straight, should I advertise my series here? It won't be done until at least 2028.
>>25576479You won't sell any real books. If your goal is to sell books, I would use your money elsewhere. You might get some decent feedback if you can be receptive and have some fun, but this place is trash for sales. Really, posting your work here just makes you have thicker skin because editors/readers elsewhere will only be easier on you. People here will call you a failure for the smallest of mistakes. It can be a proving ground if you're willing to roll with the punches, but again, don't expect to sell many books.
>>25576479Nope. You sell nothing here
>>25576479everyone on 4chan uses AdBlock which is unfortunate because some of lits ads are hilariously skitzo
>>25575870>Culinary arts teacher: This soup is really good>Random soup eater: I think it tastes like shitGuess whose opinion I value more
>>25576179Care to explain this?
>>25576544I've been following the TBJ and NJB drama for a bit. Who left the first shitty review? It seems like you both review-bombed each other. Whoever left the first shitty public review is the wrong-doer imo.
>>25576557TeePee thought he was cute and wrote a negative retard screed on The Dark Triad goodreads page, then he got a taste of his own curry when Constipated Cunt was released. He hasn't stopped complaining since, and yes it's very funny.
>>25576560Welp, if this is the case, sorry, TBJ, you're the dick in this situation. It's all fun and games to trash people here, but it's something else to try to bring someone down personally out in the real world.
>>25576543There is a turd floating in your soup. Even a "random soup eater" can tell it's shit.>nooo readers are not qualified to have opinions on what they readYou sound straight up stupid, an arrogant child.
>>25573924NJB has also inspired an ongoing homoerotic series.>>25574606>>25574608>>25574609
lots of /lit/ books (and a bunch of charts) herehttps://gofile.io/d/dUi2R2tE
>>25576564Here's the actual review. It's honest and not even particularly negative but I guess since it doesn't praise the book unequivocally it's not only a bad review but a review bomb in Bore's eyes
>>25577161in defense of the Teebs, his scathing review of my story was useful for revision
>>25576479>>25573836as lolcowy some of these writers/books are, you have to respect them shoveling this stuff out here for people to tear apart. I have a book of my own but would never show it here for various reasons.also I like the opening line for the chemical divorce, very interesting
>>25576502>>25576522I won't sell it. It will be 100% free because why not? I already have a job and extra money. However you hit on something, the people here are unusually harsh. I mean in reality like 90% of people who read your book are probably just thinking "That was fun. I'm going to go scroll Tiktok and eat some leftovers now"
Meanwhile here's a review of Consumptive Cur, and guess what. You can look up this reviewer and find them reviewing stuff other than the author and the author's enemies.
>>25577161You need to get off your high horse. You’re not a good enough writer to be leaving reviews like this on other small authors. It looks like you started this drama. Boor crashing out in every thread will be his own undoing. Your short little takedown of a book with no reviews, that frankly (no offense Boor) isn’t very good just comes across as self conscious pettiness. Becoming a successful author is probably more about networking than your actual work. Learn to play nice. Your work isn’t good enough to support being this much of an ass. >>25577173This proves my point. Boor is a spazz that should just chill out, but TBJ has an ego that’s way too big for someone shilling his shit on 4chan. Someone who wanted to help you would privately send you this. The words of a man who needs to be knocked down a peg.
>>25577177The downside is you risk spergs leaving bad public reviews for your book
>>25577212>that frankly (no offense Boor) isn’t very good(You) haven't read it, but everyone who has in good faith seems to disagree.
>paying jeetslol lmao even
>>25577212>Boor is a spazz that should just chill outI am chill as fuck when people are chill with me. I post my shit for free and contribute to discussions, but if you're going to troll or talk shit then I have no problems lopping your fucking head off in front of everyone, because it's fun!
>>25577330You gotta stop taking the bait. You and TeeBee are becoming lolcows. It might already be too late
>>25577341>he thinks i haven't fully considered thiswow how terrible that the trolls dig their own graves and make entire threads only about my writing! thanks for the advice though, you complete fucking zilch nobody. maybe post your face and full name online and then you can give me advice, sniveling faggot. you don't know dick!
>>25577350Your future if you keep this up.
>>25577178>a review by a jeet favors tee pee jeetsonPottery
>>25577380no clue who this fat ugly faggot is, but sooner or later /lit/ will realize NJB is THE ONE.
>>25577415You might come to the same end but you’ll never wear his shoes
>he has multiple photos of said fat ugly faggot saved on his phoneyeah, you don't know shit buddy. kek.
>>25577319I am jealous of your engagements, likes and sales.
>>25574705On second thought, I'm not going to change the timeframe of the story with the last week/month thing, but having Otto stutter the "Come forth" is a good suggestion. I'll get that done. The story was originally going to be a comic book, so we were going to use typography to convey that he was saying it in a nervous manner: it got lost in translation to prose
>>25577330>i contribute to the discussion by accusing every criticism, no matter how motivated, of being "shit talking" or "trolling"Just out of curiosity, if your book had actual flaws, how could one point them out to you without you lashing out? Give me an example of a critique that wouldn't make you sperg out.
>>25577457I read a few pages of that "king of l.a." book he posted. I refuse to believe that even in a world where monster smut is a billion dollar genre, his shit could sell decently. It's not just awful on a technical level, it's straight up boring.
>>25577350>the trolls dig their own gravesYeah, they're losing... uh... something by shitting on your shitty novel... they must be crying by now, cause they've... they've lost so much...
>>25577959look at the other 5 books. Which is better technically? Literary? exactly. He doesn't have any competition.
>>25577970>He misuses an ellipsis three times on the first page. >Random capitalization on the first page>Flat descriptions that are clearly adaptations from a screenplay that was reformatted into a "novel".
>>25577990Read the other books, they're not better
>>25578002You’re gonna get banned if you keep samefagging
>>25577970>Which is better technically? Unironically all of them. Especially that Chemical Divorce one and the Dodo one.>Literary?Again, all of them. By a wide margin.
>>25578002But they are, and strikingly so. Even the fantasy one, although I don't really like fantasy. Reading that King of LA one is just unpleasant. Insufferable. I'd never stomach more than 4 pages of that drivel.
>>25578255Which is the fantasy one?
>>25577212>implying you have to be a good writer to leave honest reviewsYou need to calm down, all I've done is give honest thoughts. The honesty and thoughtfulness of my thoughts has nothing to do with the quality of my novel. Think of my reviewing and my writing as different hemispheres.And no, I won't stop. The Beautiful Kingdom by K. K. Wing is up next. Spoiler: It's good
>>25578255Bore isn't imaginative enough for fantasy
>>25577341As the one and only "Teebz" I am not against becoming a lolcow. I don't know how I'd react, but I'd probably contribute to a Kiwifarms thread about me.
>>25577390LOL! I'm neither Indian nor racist against Indians, and Pathan is a very thoughtful reviewer, very happy for the review
>>25577968>obvious retards spazzing out constantly about your novel in endless threadsthx for the free promo btw!if you're not retarded like this anon read The Dark Triad and King of L.A. ;)
>>25578701I'd fuck 19 year old Jesus in his face.
>>25578705that's 33yo Jesus after the resurrection and they don't believe it's him. it's my favorite painting of all time.
>>25578720>33 year old man>no beardNo wonder they can't recognize him, he waxed for sex.
>>25578282That RUS one.
>>25578548He isn't imaginative enough for literature. Never seen a more striking example of the delusional narcissist too ignorant to see his own incompetence.
>>25578701>he's actually trying the "haha I'm actually happy if you s-shit on me b-because it's free p-publicity" strategyYou come off as a seething stupid child who's trying to look cool and clever.I'll give you all the free promo you want.
>>25578737That's historical fiction. It's based off Saint Olga
>>25578739>>25578744>two more absolute fucking losers projecting their ineptitudekeep it coming, boys! you forget that i wrote the book on delusional narcissism. keep crying like the cucks you are and i'll keep fucking you until you love me ;)
>>25578252>Especially that Chemical DivorceIf anyone knows an English professor, I'd be curious what he or she thinks about the story. I couldn't get an unbiased opinion from beta readers because they had a financial incentive to give me positive feedback. The version on Royal Road is free, so maybe ask a teacher to read and evaluate that one
>>25576479Don't buy ads. I spent like a hundred bucks on ads once and made zero sales
>>25579300>Not justifiedThat's the very least you can do
>>25579300This doesn't read like the first page of a novel. Where is the flow, the easing of the reader into your story? Why is Alexander namedropped before we even know what he looks like? Why is "now" repeated so close in succession?Cohesion, coherence, ideas introduced with deliberation -- these are the qualities often missing in amateur works. It's what it means for writing to "flow": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BiwmpPDCpkThe first page should be the most important part of your work, the polished marble facade that encourages a reader to walk into your museum of experiences and ideas. If I can pick out flaws on the first page it bodes poorly for the rest...
>>25579344>Why is Alexander namedropped before we even know what he looks like?kek you people come up with the dumbest rules for writing. We do not need to know what a character looks like before getting their name
>>25579300>Present tenseWhy is this so popular now?
>>25579348Sure, a character doesn't have to be introduced by appearance first. But usually the reader is grounded by some sort of context. A description of the midday crowds and the temple setting, for example, before a visual description of the man working in the mud. Even just calling him "priest" or "robed man" instead of "Alexander." Something to anchor the fictional in the familiar.For example, in the Metamorphosis we get Gregor's mundane surroundings, status as a relatable boring salesman, and internal dialogue to immediately ground the surreal cockroach in the familiar.But this page simply drops us in media res, with ideas disjointed instead of flowing logically. It reads like page 85, not page 1. The jumps in perspective from close third person (Alexander's physical sensations), to the thronging crowd, then back don't help.
>>25577106Looks like elon’s tranny kid
Anyone read Mack Daddy’s new book?
>>25579473Haven't even read the description, it's shit
>>25577212The reviews seem completely reasonable to me. They aren't attacking the author's character or even particularly vicious in their assessment of the material. Authors are usually grateful for this kind of feedback. Most reviews are either vague platitudes or aimless grievances, both equally incoherent and hard to extrapolate any kind of revision from. Your post honestly reads like it was written by someone deeply defensive of their work who is upset at the concept of not being mindlessly lavished with praise.
>>25579300cool cover
>>25577178book's probably fine aside from the title titles should be like something you would order in a restaurant
/lit/ has become just as bad as mainstream publishing spaces. Everyone just talks about the junky, unedited books from the loudest users on here. F. Gardner, for example, is funny, but his work is horrendous. This place has become an embarrassment. A /lit/ publishing house (Unreal Press doesn't count) would be something, but it would never succeed on here.
>>25582059Be the change you wish to see.
>>25574705>At least make the narrator say it shakily or something, like "c-come forth."I have patched the stutter into the Royal Road release and into the Amazon manuscript, but the latter can take up to 72 hours to update, sometimes showing the wrong edition entirely. The full text is free at https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/176028/the-chemical-divorce
>>25582155i'm surprsied how short each chapter is
>>25582177That was a conscious decision because I was a fan of the video game Journey, which compressed a lot of emotion in a very short amount of time.
>>25582155>I patched the stutter. I don't like this at all. Once you write a book, it's done. Typos can be corrected and severe grammatical errors, but the substance should never change. This is barely a step removed from the people that remove slurs from old novels in new editions.
>>25573836>This is what /lit/ has writtenSounds about right. It's all garbage.
>>25583057
>>25583120They're all better than your book until proven otherwise
>>25573836Didn't like the first one, I don't care for the prose and it doesn't seem like the sort of book I'd read.Second one reads like completely wank.The rest seem serviceable if flawed.>>25573918lmao>>25574621This already makes the first page sound way better.
>>25583057I have an obligation to my readers to make the book as good as possible. If someone points out a mistake or an oversight and I don't make adjustments, that would mean I'm not doing my job.
>>25583265I think we just have different opinions on the point of writing. Capitalism dictates what books sell and where you put your time, but the desire of readers should never trump your creative instincts to this extent. You shouldn't change the substance of the next book in a series to please the reader. Let alone a book that's already published.
>>25583431I thought it was universally understood that a line of dialogue following an action was spoken by that same character, but if general audiences are unaware of that convention, I'd rather make it obvious using the stutter. I'd rather have too many dialogue tags than not enough.
>>25583057Force your own pointless rules on yourself. Even tradpubbed books have numbered editions, denoting when revisions have been made.
How much melodrama should I put in my book? I love melodrama as long as it's saying something but I'm afraid to get bullied...
>>25583600Melodrama is defined as good and evil being all good or all evil, without shades of gray. So, ideally, none. Unless you're making a children's comic book.
>book I wrote and selfpubbed with roughly 170 sales isn’t mentioned once in this threadI am forgotten and that makes me free.
>>25583153I don't need to prove anything to a random faggot on the internet.
>>25583933More like, you can't even prove yourself to a random faggot on the Internet.
Boor is the best bitches.
>>25584079Shalom
>>25583917which?
>>25583917On that note, where and how are all these books getting published? Are they all being self-published, or is there some publishing house out there actually publishing Anons?
>>25584670self-published. i think 2 or 3 anons did get traditionally published
>>25584674With who? I'm desperate for somebody who'd be willing to take a chance on my work despite not being a bog-standard social liberal.
>>25584998You can query it, but the indie game is basically just as incestuous as big 5. If you don't know the editors, they don't even give your work an honest read. If you're an indie author, you need to treat your writing like a legit side hustle if you want to move copies. There are dozens of "small presses" on X that are "publishing" books. They're doing the exact same thing these anons are with POD, except they put their stupid little press name on the first page. You should query it, because who knows, maybe the stars will align for you, but rest assured that it's a 99.99% chance that you're gonna have to do this on your own. I know one small press that puts out like maybe 4-5 books a year. They do no marketing for the books. They maybe buy an ISBN so they can get it onto Ingram so that bookstores can order it, but I guarantee you they aren't selling shit. People here shit on self-publishing here, but the alternative is arguably even bleaker. Very real chance that if one of these outfits picks up your book, they don't do anything with it, and it's just a little project for them and their instagram account. My advice is to get it as polished as possible and then learn how to sell it yourself while writing your next. Gotta stay in motion.
>>25584079objectively based and true but the story was written for (You) to enjoy and evaluate, nobody gives a shit what the reddit bot thinks. support NJB by buying a copy and spreading the gospel.
>>25574705>So passive and weak!>More passive voiceThat's not what passive voice means.Passive voice is where the subject receives the verb, not when an object performs the verb.Passive voice would be>An inch of my goatee was trimmed off by the sword's strong edge>My face was splashed with soup
>>25575290>How does the introduction signalize that it's supposed to not be taken at face value?It's a fiction book that opens by decrying the evils of fiction. How is it even possible to take that at face value?Also>signal
>>25585122>ai slopSpiritually indian
>>25585164also the soup line was supposed to convey that Otto had a monomaniacal obsession with his experiment, hence why he didn't react
>>25585320bucket crabs have no spirit. you are as predictable as an amoeba.
>>25585588Cool insult, Boorish Ranjeet. How many prompts did you give some algorithm to generate it for you?
>>25585733>the pajeet can't think of a better insult than calling a white guy brownAI was made for retards like (You)
>>25585754>whiteTopkek
>>25585764>brown existence so pathetic that he spends his days arguing that obviously white people aren't ackshually white, pretending to laugh into an empty voidwhoa bro teach me to be cool like you lmao
>>25585785>tranny looking freak having a meltie being called non-whiteSad!
>>25585789>no-lifer thirdie brown boy wants to suck my cock the whole threadyou will never have blue eyes or blonde hair or an IQ over 82, but you can continue bumping my writing all you like, stinky ;)
>>25585808Hi, Vivian!
>>25585826>unironically has this twink saved on his phoneyeah i'm not participating in your weird goon sesh, AhmedIn other news, the Hacksaw Vendetta manuscript has been completed. Audiobook recording begins today. The Dark Triad and King of L.A. are currently 70% off, make sure and get caught up before the trilogy conclusion Dec 1 release!
>>25573918If her beauty is effortless why does she wear excessive makeup?
>>25585836Almost done generating it?
>>25574094bastehttps://files.catbox.moe/gu6c3e.pdf
>>25585870almost done fingering your asshole and fantasizing about me? don't hurt that third-world raisin brain of yours trying to imagine how white folks can actually write.
Get literature professors to rate the books
>>25586634>Pretend to be an alumni >Email professor directly >Give pdf of bookThey ignore you ir tell you it's shit
>>25573836>Yes they are all shit.how the fuck would I know who has the "best first page" if I never read any of them? fucking retard
>>25573836chemical divorce grabbed me the most with the first two paragraphs. but then it loses me when it gets to the druid. i dont get it
>>25587069 it's explained later that Otto is a delusional alcoholic who used to work as a carnie, McGorey probably doesn't even exist
>>25573836LET THE COVER PAGE BE THE FIRST PAGE,LET THE FIRST BE THE BEST,THUS MY ANSWER IS:KING OF L.A. - NICHOLAS JOHN BOOR
>>25587046you're supposed to read them
>>25585808Why does that picture make you look like someone just grabbed your balls from behind?
>>25573836I hate present tense fiction so much
King of L.A. is painfully boring and amateurish, worst of the bunch for sure
>>25588081>t. boring amateur reader
>>25588085Excuse me for only reading professional books
>>25588088>Excuse me for only reading professional books
>>25587005that's not professorial
>>25587083>>25588085>>25588091Aren't you the subliterate faggot that got filtered by a 5 paragraph story in the other thread?Maybe learn to read before you try to write. Of course your stuff is juvenile drivel.
>>25588280>Aren't you the subliterate faggot that got filtered by a 5 paragraph story in the other thread?uhhh no. you've got the wrong retard. or maybe you've been the retard all along?
>>25588085>>25588091>>25585912How long does it take for ChatJeetT to generate your chapters? How many different iterations of the chapter do you generate and eventually how do you decide which LLM-generated chapter is the best?
cope
>>25579473which
>>25588621The spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors make that obvious.>>25585808Why does that picture make you look like someone just grabbed your balls from behind?
>>25589022>"hehe definitely AI generated!">gets btfo>"u-uhh yeah it'd be better if it was!!kys loser. lmao.>your ballswhy do you keep inquiring about the author's balls?
>>25589028NTA. And I'm inquiring about the author's bug-eyed and disturbed expression.
>>25589036>another mogged peasant daydreaming about NJB's genitals guys relax, he's a brilliant author first and foremost, not simply a sex object.
>>25589053Why are you talking about yourself in the third person? Is Ricky Martin your icon?
>>25589053you look like you're being assraped
>>25589168ooh interesting, what specific position are you imagining (fantasizing) of? you'll never get that sweet NJB honey-hole, but at least a brown boy can dream!
>>25589216more like i'm wondering why that's the image you want to share with the world
>>25589238nah i think you're just a dumb faggot trying (and failing) to effectively talk shit. maybe just stick to eating it. that's the delicacy in your country, correct?
It’s hilarious watching some loser who self-publishes his llmsloppa having a meltdown over 100+ posts. Definitely has AI psychosis
>>25589688>>25588621
>>25573875They should have rewritten their books with AI and told it to make a 10/10
>>25589216I'm so glad you're interested in knowing! You've inspired me to continue writing my series!
>>25589753How much HRT are you taking? You’re not really passing
>>25589756Your repeated flaccid attempts at deflection are hilarious. You're the lolcow we didn't ask for.
>>25589753>forever assmad because no one will ever read his faggy e-girl storya truly sad brown boy existence. keep the goonfic coming though, NJB owns your NPC soul ;)
>>25589830You have nothing to brag about, Okie hick. And you're still deflecting.
>>25589857>infinitely more sales and engagement>didn't write an absolute faggot screed about an "e-girl" named Kitty (still makes me kek every time)>wasn't born brown and retardedi can't stop winning!please don't leave us hanging, post your goonfic fantasy smut about having sex with me that no one ever quotes or laughs at!
>>25589870Oh, you want more of it, huh? You're buck-broken and can't even admit it. And if your posted fiction getting laughed at is your metric, then you have succeeded beyond your wildest dreams.
also post your real name with all 32 consonants in it, peasant boy. stop larping with a fake anglo name and embrace your shit-stained roots!
>>25589875You realize that, by using your real name here, all your racist seething will be easily found, right? You'd better hope your writing doesn't become well-known, because your life will be over.
>>25576479no
>>25589895>y-you'll hypothetically be sorry for BTFOing me one day!lmao kys. yes i will be world famous and no nobody will care that i allegedly took runny dumps all over your dumb ass for talking shit out of school to your intellectual superior.
>>25588621B-Bros...W-What is this...?
>>25577380deus ex is great
Is this thread nothing more than all the authors of the books in the OP shitposting at each other?Was this thread originally started by one of those authors?
>>25573836Back in my day we didn't have any of this T.B. Johnson or Wallace Mack. We had Ogden Nesmer and Zulu Alitspa and that was just fine with us, we didn't complain. We were grateful to get a little Frank Gardner every so often, but now the kids only want Frank Zeist.
>>25588621Nobody is saying you used AI. We're saying (all of us, no exceptions) that your writing is shit.
>>25590909
>>25588621You can program those to write like a human would write
>>25590476I forgot the name but it's one of those AI/LLM checker things, just search that and you'll find it or something like it, they’re considered unreliable but all I can tell you for sure is my writing I did with my own two hands passes 100% clean
>>25590892>Was this thread originally started by one of those authors?but whom?
>>25590892We didn't start the fire
>>25590909>Ogden Nesmer is a fiction writer (Eggplant, I Pray to the Hungry God, SILKWORM, and stories across numerous publications) whose stories are very often REJECTED for various nonspecific reasons and who is busy writing new stories and who doesn’t have time to go back and fix these “bad” stories and who thinks maybe also “bad” is taking it a little too far so here you go.lol bro doesn't believe in editing
>>25589689>>25588621I think it's because NJB used/uses generative AI for so much of his promotional/revenge crap that people just don't trust he doesn't bother not using it for the actual writing in some capacity. I, for one, think it might've been used for something as simple as the removal of screenplay formatting quirks like sluglines and character cues. That seems to be all that was done to translate the film to prose, after all. Meanwhile, take me, TB, who recently commissioned a real living human to make real living art for the novel's new cover (see: picrel). I have contempt for my contemporaries! Shame on you!And I'd like to point out that, although I am a professional filmmaker, Consumptive Cur is in no way associated with any film project of mine and carved into text because it was the only suitable medium in my (the author's) humble opinion. This feels like too much of a passive aggressive jab at NJB so I'll make it aggressive aggressive.Boo the Bore!
>>25591363As I continue to read "King of L.A.", it's so obvious this is a screenplay trying to disguise itself as prose. Here's the most egregious example:>As he reaches the epicenter of the party atmosphere in the front room of the house, andmakes a slow dramatic turn...>Revealing the hardened handsome face of [blah blah blah]I'm ⅕ of the way through, and so far, it's a bunch of worn-out clichés. It's obvious that not only is Boor's only experience with gangstas is not only through fiction, but really mediocre fiction. I'd feel sorry for him, if he wasn't such an insufferable, smug asshole.
>>25591040plenty of you dorks said it was AI. now that you've been BTFO you pivot to this general "criticism" that means nothing because you haven't even read the fucking thing.>>25591266lol kys. every single word is mine. i used 0% of the lame ass fucking reddit bot, which would've been infinitely more time consuming and lame than just typing it up myself.>>25591363>"professional filmmaker"LMAO see picrel. you are a professional faggot.>>25591410>"egregious example">of a basic fucking character introdescribing a character's face as he enters a scene is not an error in any respect. you are grasping so hard it's pathetic. get off my fucking nuts, loser.and yes i lean hard into genre conventions, which are all fully subverted and satirized into something completely novel by the end. i've lived in LA most all of my adult life and draw from those experiences mixed with tropes from my favorite gangster movies (most of which i guarantee you've never seen or even heard of).man it's fucking hilarious how obsessed you dipshits are with trying to insult me, and yet your own work is so pathetically inept it's not even worthy of mention, which is why my work dominates 100% of discussion. maybe you could learn something from me if you'd get your swollen heads out of your own narrow asses, but i won't hold my breath. i'll just continue to dominate and sell way more than all of you combined, maybe at some point you'll realize it, but in the end who the fuck cares. i'm me and you're (You), you'll never come close to sniffing the air i'm coasting on.
>>25591628>basic fucking character introYes... for a screenplay. How are you still not grasping this?>drawn from experienceNot likely.>tropes from my favorite gangster moviesI can tell. That's why your work comes across as cliché and shallow.>how obsessed you are with trying to insult meYou're the one that came out of nowhere and trolled everyone. I can't wait until you try that act outside of 4chan.
>>25591912>You're the one that came out of nowhere and trolled everyoneshowed up and mogged everyone*ftfy. i didn't troll a soul, i posted my shit and subsequently everyone became obsessed with it because nothing else even comes close to its level. you started the trolling by review bombing and making your entire posting identity about hanging off my nuts.you are a fucking snooze. go write a sequel about "Kitty" and quit sniffing my jock, faggot.your work comes across as a pathetic joke, which is why no one talks about it.
This tranny looking okie freak is obsessed with homoerotica.
>>25592010What review bomb? He posted the review at >>25577173 and it seems very even handed.
NJB has fully buckbroken /lit/this festering pajeethole is not worthy of his greatness. we will all look back fondly and wonder why he chose to bless us with his presence, no matter how short lived it was.
>>25592099Still talking about yourself in the third person, jewboy?
>>25592099>short livedPlanning to leave, are you?
>>25591628>LMAO see picrelDamn that short is almost half a decade old. I've come a long way and I see no stop on the horizon
>>25592010There's more than one person here who dislikes you Bore
>>25592099>short livedIt's been months now and he's still here.
>>25573836>This is what /lit/ has written recentlyI have been busy making infographicsI consider this a form of "authoring" even tho it is all derivative
>>25592262https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyGvqmbmGo4
>>25592262How can we miss him if he won't leave?
>>25592083yeah if anything it was helpful
>>25592675based sociopath
>>25573836Banal.>King of LAThe X Ys, the noun verbs, and things are. A guy who's too into himself mistook this lifeless voice for his own. All the markings of inserting vocabulary without the company to accept it. Wallflower language.>Consumptive CurEvery board on this website is obsessed with Hitler. Even if I didn't know a channer wrote this, I would have dropped it at "Hitler," and I did. Learn to reference literally anyone else. I'm exhausted at his mention.>It's All Forgotten Now"The Agency" ...I do not give a fuck about le vague agency which probably uses credits for currency and is likely evil though facade is good and heckin misrepresented. Great start if you're under 21 in 2014, but to lack the self-awareness while typing this in current year is something special.>First of the RusYou need an editor to tidy up your language. You want to write like an entitled bitch and make it grip the reader, but there are grammatical inconsistencies with the royalty you're trying to portray. "Nothing must spoil tonight's outcome" could have instead flowed as "Nothing must spoil the night." This stilted phrasing is soon combated with "Shame she ruined it..." Is any sense of poetry lost to time?>The Chemical DivorceA breath of fresh fucking air. Even to argue the narrator's tone is self indulged in a sentence or two, surrounded by heavenly light lies an original idea! A voice. "Gulping, I pissed myself." Cheers and acclaim. This is how you write a first page.Thank you for making me feel accomplished though I haven't published anything. But earnestly congratulations to these authors for releasing their works to the world. That takes guts.
>>25596153>Even to argue the narrator's tone is self indulged in a sentence or twoThis is true: Otto's voice is based on Boris Balkan/Borja in The Club Dumas by Arturo Pérez-Reverte. It's eventually revealed that Otto is not whom he purports to be.
>>25585852because she's a stupid little girl doing what she thinks adults do
>>25596153Anon you must not use much more than 4chan if you think it's just this website that's obsessed with Hitler. Kind of a huge historical figure there
>>25597597We have no shortage of evil men in this world. I'm simply tired of hearing about him, especially in the context of contemporary literature.
>>25597654That's too bad for you since you live in reality where shit happened.
>>25597906I don't consume fiction to be reminded of reality. More like the opposite.
Is all the English lit communiy is ever talking about rankings and dick contests?
I can’t believe this thread is still up
>>25575874The original edition of The Chemical Divorce was written exactly like that, too. It's only 1st person now because people complained
>>25599807if an author is so insecure that he changes the entire form of his work as a response to criticism, it's a pretty good sign that it was always shit to begin with.
>>25599976https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dI93BvrBxQ0
>>25599976Or it means, like the rest of us, that he's an amateur and still finding his voice. Why are you so judgmental? This attitude can't be working for you in the rest of your life.
>>25601004>he's an amateur and still finding his voicethen he should be doing workshops and taking classes, not publishing shit and expecting people to buy it. we already have enough terrible self-pub and AI slop poisoning the well.
>>25601310It was changed because a reader mentioned Thorne and the narrator sounded identical, so it made more sense to combine them
>>25601310>doing workshops and taking classesAssociate with other people? Bleah.
>>25601310I've been paid thousands of dollars for script punch-ups, not that it has any bearing on the quality of this story
>>25598082You're supposed to be learning from what you read—all things inspired by reality—so you can better operate in reality, anon.
>>25602278That's why I read nonfiction. But I don't read fiction for the same reason I read nonfiction.
Bumperino
>>25579300Everything chemical divorce wants to be without the "hey kid, new in town?" author
>>25602358You're reading fiction wrong
>>25602918No, I'm just reading fiction differently. You sure think highly of yourself.
>>25602444>Everything chemical divorce wants to bea character study of Anton LaVey?
where did NJB go?
