>>35051770
Delete this thread. There already is a new gioyc open here
https://owo.vg/adv/thread/35050126/get-it-off-your-chest-lost-loves#bottom

This place looks really weird right now and I don't like it

it's over.

>>35052083
Finally done wasting your life with the narc in tx

>>35052115
narc narc narc sahur narc sahur narc sahur

>>35052115
narc in tx? what the fuck are you talking about

wish you'd left a note on my car that night when you hit it instead of later in the afternoon so i wouldn't have filed a claim and police report by then. now i feel bad.

my sister says that's what insurance is for but still.

>>35052176
they're a retarded tranny who posted on /lgbt/ about receiving hate as a tripfag

3 more hours, what an absolute waste of breath.

>>35052229
C is a tranny. Got it.

>>35052333
Ohhhh so they're all fags and troons. The Ms and C. This is suddenly making so much more sense.

My aunt who swore to take care of me like her own child when my mom passed just found out I have never been to an obgyn in my life despite just turning 30. She just survived a horrific ovarian cancer herself. My mom died of cancer too. And now she's insisting on taking me there no matter what.

Anons what the fuck do I do? I'm *this* close to lie that I went by myself just so they leave me alone. I know that you should go to the obgyn by the way, the idea just makes me want to die. I've never had sex and never will because the idea of being naked or touched intimately by anyone makes me wanna die anyway. Although I've been cutting on my legs recently and don't want anyone to see that shit either. Fucking hell...

>>35052357
No only c. He keeps making posts about being with guys

>>35052397
But him and M are still a couple?

I sort of hate M for leading Mike on. I do think Mike is a schizo narc too but it's not like C is holding M captice

Need the nausea to fade. Want to sink into the bed and sleep all day, but can't.

>>35052404
I dont think they are. C keeps making gay posts about being with other men and m wrote to mike last thread that she misses him.

I admire my sister, though her life is far from anyone's idea of success, or fulfilling. But had I stopped while I was ahead, when I found contentment, none of this would have happened. I would have been ok. Shitty counselor.

I hope my doctor prescribes me the medication I want and that it works. I am in mental anguish every waking moment

I let myself be devalued and chose to cuck. I understand why, it was an impossible situation, bluffs a kind man couldn’t call. I forgive myself.

This is my punishment for doing wrong when I knew what was right. Fuck it.

I regret choosing her over you so bad even now. I only did it because I was more attracted to her but now I know looks aren't everything. You have the most beautiful soul and we would've been so happy together. I'm a stupid man. I should've married you when I had the chance. I regret what I did and how I treated you so bad. You are actually the best person I have ever met and there is no one else like you. No one else even comes close. You didn't deserve what I put you through. You showed me kindness when I really didn't deserve it. Even when you were hurting way worse than me and I was just complaining about dumb crap like it was the end of the world. You really cared about me. You were always there for me. I miss the laughs we used to share. I miss how we never ran out of stuff to talk about. I still repeat we said in my head all the time. I really only ever loved you and I still love you. It's been 10 years now but I still regret everything I did and wish I was with you. I know I will miss you forever and deep down I still hope we will meet again someday. Hope you're doing well out there wherever you are.

You should have rejected me and went with her. You could have lied to her about me, but you didn’t. That was entirely on you when you had the choice to choose me over her. You chose me because of guilt, not because of how convenient we were. Maybe if you went with your gut, you wouldn’t have wasted all those years with me to when you could have spent those years with her instead. I wonder, if your dad raised you, you would have made the right choice the day you chose me. I didn’t force you, you forced yourself. At least you know now, right? That’s the point of overall experience. You were young and stupid to realize you went for what felt easy and available all to feel wanted by somebody. All those years wasted because you could never admit that you weren’t happy with your decision. Lesson learned, so fuck off and pray your relationship with her lasts longer than you expect while you reminisce about everything you could have done with her before I entered your life. Don’t ever fucking say I forced you to be with me, because there was never any leverage your immature mind believed there was against you. With all experience you went through, do NOT fuck it up with her. NEVER break her heart, because if you do, then my doings would have been for nothing. This time, you fucking do what it takes to stay with her forever. Otherwise, that experience with me would have been for nothing. Don’t EVER break her promise. More importantly, TREAT her better til the day your heart stops beating. That’s exactly why you decided to stop being obese, correct? If so, then the day I finally stop breathing will be the day you do everything it takes to prove you’ll stay by her side and treat her better. If you ever wonder what the purpose of this post is, it’s me praying you make her happy for the rest of her life.

october has been some fucking weapons-grade killyourselfium for me, not gonna lie

>>35053073
You'll be okay anon. Don't give up.

>>35053073
ironically, it's the repeated cycle every time the year nears its closure. call it depression or a phase, almost everyone gets that inevitable feeling this time of year. winter is coming, so bundle up & take good care of yourself. sending love your way, anon. never kill yourself <3

>>35053073
It's demon month

>>35053073
Same kek. I've got that knot tied and waiting.

>>35053118
>>35053128
to be clear i am NOT suffering from seasonal depression, i suffer from constant depression and this month just about everything that can go wrong has gone wrong
no platitudes please

You know, rather than not-so-vaguely posting on social media how much you miss me and hoping I reach out, you could reach out yourself, right? You have my phone number. If I'm the only one doing the heavy lifting in this relationship it's not going to work out.

>>35051773
other thread is not titled correctly
this is the thread

>>35053156
Your breath stinks and you’ll get HIV/Aids for sleeping with hoes raw— she don’t like you no mo, faggot.

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I really don’t know what people expect from me or what kind of acknowledgment they want. Do they want a participation ribbon just for living? We all do that. Some people live better than others.

>>35053241
idk who you are though

>>35053257
NTA random schizo poster. Or Mike.

>>35053259
No. Not me. But makes sense you say that with your tantrum narcing out larping on letter thread.

I get it. You were trying to see if I was back yet, and now that you know I'm not, you've decided you have a little more time to figure out what you want. You're not as subtle as you think.

>>35053296
Is trying to figure things out a bad thing?

>>35053296
If you think that then fine, I hope you figure out you're wrong eventually. Or is that just what you want to be true?

nothing makes me happy anymore, i dont find enjoyment in anything that used to make me happy or distracted ? i guess it was all a distraction ? Ive lost many friends, failed many relationships, i hate my job, i used to like it alot, idk, my mind is all over the place, lots of contemplation about self harm but it would just make things worse, idk.

ive lost meaning to this all.

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>>35053341

Happy Halloween, anons.

>>35053326
Happy Halloween, Orange Cat!

>>35053322
Don't start self harming. Look for a therapist if you can OP. You sound clinically depressed.

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>>35053502

>be kid
>would get really mad if my parents kissed each other in my presence
>would tell them that it's disgusting and I would get reprimanded
>they're still together
>didn't realize how lucky I was
>nearly all of my friends growing up had divorced parents
>wish I could go back in time and smack myself in the face for being ungrateful douche

I have no idea if you are aware of how much I wanna be yours. One day I'd love to tell you.

All my strength has gone out the window and I am seriously contemplating ending it all again. I wish I had no one depending on me.

>>35053435
<3

>>35053398
Le reason. Kek

>>35053465
Are you me?

>>35053435
I know, but in my defense I've been wondering why you never acted like it.

my tummy hurts

>>35053694
Too much candy tonight?

>>35053723
no i just have tummy problems a lot, idk why
hows ur halloween going ?

>>35051770
Is Halloween just an excuse for adult girls to get dicked or something based on what they are wearing?

>>35053730
Two groups of kids came trick or treating this year. Up from zero in the past. I didn’t get a chance to celebrate since my store is already setting up Christmas. So I will be enjoying my pumpkin at every chance from now until Thanksgiving.

>>35053742
anything is better than nothing, mustve been nice, did u dress up as anything fun?

>>35053747
Only myself.

>>35053755
spooky... O_o

I try not to reply to too many posts, only the ones I think are you. Because you're the only one I want to talk to.

And what's left, but to hollowly move on? We mistook each other for someone else - I wasn't yours, you weren't mine.

Tired fantasies of him, of the care and patience he would have shown, of the soft words and gentle hands. Strength, balance, soothing, at my best and at my worst. Someone to build with. To heal with. Just dreams. Always just a dream.

>>35053805
What do you mean by this? What exactly got mixed up here?

Reality brought one who harmed. Who let me fall, and fall, and fall, and hated and harmed me more for falling. I should have stayed alone and dreamed dreamed dreamed.

bonefish

I didn't need bread today, well, I did, but I made a mistake and didn't go and grab it. Oh well.

I wish I hadn't been born. I never enjoyed any aspect of being a teenager. Any joy during university didn't last past the first year. Now I'm almost 40 and I constantly keep thinking about the logistics of getting a shotgun to end it all once it reaches the point of being unbearable. Nowadays all that keeps me together is the thought that "mom would be sad"... but she is getting older.

>A estrada do sol
>O comeco de tudo
>E as nuvens que agora se afastam
>Mostrando um caminho que esta sempre la

>E que e qualquer lado que a gente quiser caminhar

I will not blaspheme the Holy Spirit with the demonic suffering in me, but good lord am I depressed

I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song.

I only just now realised you were the selfish one.

Halloween is just an excuse for goyim NPCs and their future wageslave children to be annoying around my house

>>35054073
The only thing I did that you could possibly call selfish was a reaction to the way you acted for months.

I'm miles away, he's on my mind
I'm getting tired of crawling all the way
And I've had enough, it's obvious

https://youtu.be/wmK-MqRxawY

>>35054105
Long distance? Shit's rough, I feel you.

I know she’s not foolish enough to look for me. She deserves better than that

im all out of poptartsthis is devastating

>>35054094
dont reply to me that message wasn't for you.

>>35054112
Thanks anon.

You shine bright and I wish I could sunbathe in your light...

>>35054144
*replies to you again*

>>35054173
There was no compromise on your end it was only your vision of the future or nothing else. That was the overpriced half flat upstairs to your parents lower flat for a 1million+ when we were both only just starting in our careers. That is all you cared about, that stupid property listing, while whining about increased house prices for years to our peers. You planned that we would retire to your home country while we were in our 20s without any opportunity to offer alternatives.

Since you replied it wasn't for months this is for years, it isn't a reaction it was their reason of being since being a teenager. Their family gave them nothing, and falsely promised the lower flat to her, I was to be their way out of that life yet wanted me to be entrapped in the very life she was trying to escape.

I just love her

>>35054198
It's higher than mortal love with me for her.

>>35054204
That’ll do

>>35054162
Sure. That would be chill (assuming you are my girl)

>>35054221
I'm a guy, Mike. It's not about you.

>>35054227
You wrote like you are writing to the sun. Im the sun.

I think I am losing my mind over falling for someone who has no desire for me and I genuinely do not know if it will be worse to never tell her or if I should face rejection

>>35054231
No, not even Ra is the sun, dude. You may call yourself the sun and use all these metaphors, but it doesn't make it true.

I'm a man.... LOL! It's over. Who would want to be a man?

>>35054273
*raises paw*

>>35054236
She knows me as the sun, just as she is my moon.

>>35054285
That's cool, bro, but I'm not her.

Don't mistake my attention, how I keep my promise to you as something it's not. Don't mistake what being provided and cared for means. You seem to write a narrative based on insecurities and fears, not the truth. Listen and see me. Ive told you the truth, i do love you and I want to give you whatever you desire, what makes you happy, where you never feel guilty for eating, Don't feel guilty for wanting things. With me, you don't have to earn the right to be taken care of.

You just have to be here and be yourself. I love you for you, who you truly are. I want to feel you, find pleasure in the parts of you that are foreign to me, to experience the rest of you.

I look forward to when you come home, where the silence is instead the sounds we make as your body learns mine. The way you bite your lip as I bite your neck. The way you feel home.

>>35054278
I'm not sure I get it, if there's anything to get.

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>>35054342 >>35054349

>>35054327
im raiisng my hand to show that i do in fact would want to be with a man
my hand is a paw tho, i hope u dont mind

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>>35054333
lol

>>35054273
F
i always wanted to master swinging my own pp back and forth so i can dance with it

>>35054333
*paws at you*
*rubs my litter box paws on your face*

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>>35054381

>>35054344
Overrated trick tbqh desu, sorry to break it to you.

Gonna continue playing on 2-player mode. Stuck and unable to progress without you playing your part of the game.

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>>35054376

>>35054349
>*rubs my litter box paws on your face*
too far anon... too far

yeah? I think i made the pieces fit. DID you?

Tried my best to attain a career for you to leave anyway. This sucks.

what??? I feel like there's too much metaphor here.

>>35054372
She left you after you glowed up?

>>35054365
nooo wait come back i’m sorry i’ll lick them clean i pawmise

>>35051770
Saw my ex upload, forgot I was still subscribed to her. New handle, same old Yugioh edits with a few dozen views.
Resting my head it flashed before my eyes, how good it's feel to hold her, to tell her that she was the girl I fell so hard for, how everything in that split second felt at ease.
I hate that I miss her still. I hate that I have everything in my life but a girl I love in it now.
I unsubscribed, last she'd want is me commenting on her videos. I know as she deleted the one I left last year, God I find out she blocked my account.
Even now I don't have the heart for that.

>>35054355
a woman can dream

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>>35054387

>>35054376
:T fine...
best get to cleaning then >:3

>>35054378
God help me if I were to find out she blocked my account; I don't have the heart for that even all these years later. *

>>35054383
Oh thank god you didn’t just stay in Atoga, yay

>>35054374
The previous year I did a 1 year masters degree, from that got connections and friends that helped to finally win, She was ready to leave if I didn't get a job in that previous year ( was struggling to find work previously with only a bachelor's degree) but
I said I will do my best to get work in my chosen field that is why I did the degree.
She left after 2 months after graduating on Valentine's Day, I got a job secured 14 days later in march and have held it for almost 2 years now.

>>35054387
huh o_O
who do u think i am?
and who r u ?

>>35054390
You’re the fatshitter

>>35054388
Damn, you need a woman with more patience, it sounds like she was checked out already.

>>35054393
well when u use that name instead of just fatfetishist then that makes me think u were being sarcastic when u said 'yay' lol
u also didnt tell me who u are...

there is a group/entity comprised of jews, masons, bankers, working against the good of creation, they taint the transformation of the soul by tainting the world it is occurring. evolution is just energy transformation after all, and all energy transformation follows the same rules, it was all created you see. we have been trapped inside, the way out is by creating a world without the zero sum and negative sum and deception/lies of this one we are in the truth quite literally sets mankind free. the free will man is given to create a plus sum world is inverted to create a zero sum, negative sum world using currency as a weapon. nature creates life, and it is inherently plus sum, native americans for example had a better understanding than Europeans about this concept. right, so this entity created abrahamic religions to create ideological and spiritual slaves to jews, and they inverted the bible and all that jewish nonsense to enslave instead of empower the human spirit and soul, the cross is actually a plus. over the last 2000 years the main entity that has left a trail has always been the bank through it's currency issuance, nations, empires fall but the bank continues, after all what is currency without slaves to consume it. the american revolution was about this entity getting their own slaves to print against, of course it took until the 1900s to fully accomplish this with the federal reserve being created, and the 1970s to completely trick the world into debt slavery. the debt unit, fiat currency devalues work, time, life. it might be hard for the american to cope with the fact that they are nothing but their foreskin farm and cattle to print against. you see the masons brought slaves, and then freed them, from the banks point of view they need cattle to print against, because they sure as fuck weren't going to be able to move the kingdoms of england, spain, etc... Elon, Trumps, enleague with them, Neuralink is evil, ai is evil, their agenda is evil.

For all the talk of loving me you were very quick to sabotage yourself.
Fuck you, I hope you never forget about me for the rest of your life so you can torment yourself.

>>35054405
What do you mean? I can look at you without regret or sadness. I hope you forget me soon.

>>35054397
It was a long relationship that got delayed further by covid. When we met she had a bachelor degree that had no employment value due to portfolio requirements not up skilled enough.(game art), That was in 2018, I had full time work and was pushed to also do a bachelor degree, I did animation 2019-2022, somewhat equally worthless but a mandatory journey step. I supported her in fumbling about finding work paths ( teaching, librarian, hold over jobs for her to do, none really stuck until 2021-2022 she did a CS masters) while trying to do mine. It took her a bit to find work until found IT work at a company relevant to my field (2022, it took almost a year for her to get that after being rejected even from computer repair shops) so I suppose it was a perfect dream where we would end up in the same company. 2022 - 2023 was me trying any opportunity for workshops, short courses to bridge from being unknown to get a foot in the door. 2024 was my last try which is why I did the degree, it worked because they had scouts looking for talent in that course. She mentioned it looked like I moved on and that she couldn't compete with my friends ( I don't understand why I did it all for her).
Yes I think she channeled her resentment from that IT job and put up with it for me even though I never asked for that, and that experience is in her favour now she is rubbing shoulders with AI med tech startups and marrying someone with a Phd i.e. rich enough to have freedom in pursuits.

>>35054381
In all seriousness I think that a man who likes being one either doesn't think about being one or was just given an easy go. It feels like being an icon of sin, almost embarrassing, but a subtle and buried kind of embarrassment that you deal with because what else can you do? Is what it is. My life situation hasn't let me get out there much, but even men who do don't know what love is. I consider it a thing of fiction.

>>35054419
Ah, this seems like it could be the fact that she expected you wouldn't make it and you made her feel insecure, especially if you're in the same field.

>>35054424
Maybe that's too brutal a way to put it lol.

>>35054425
She used to say ngmi, popular saying in /ic/ circles, which I believe was meant to serve as a motivator to prove her wrong. But I realise this is a terrible methodology especially when it comes from your companion who should always be in your corner. I think she regretted encouraging me on this path because if I did a mediocre work for the duration of the relationship we would have had enough for a down payment in mortgage for home ownership, her true aspiration at the time, but forgets covid obliterated my previous stable work anyway.

>>35054361
In that way, yeah

>>35054361
Yeah, my slow movement is a problem with many. I'll be around though, in other forms.

>>35054405
>>35054410
IMO best not to take the bait

I made $14,000 in the last 24 hours. Good day.

>>35054481
who did u rob

>>35054410
We both know each other long enough, if you wanted to pull that act off you should've done it sooner
You literally cannot even sleep with me accompanying you, and I know much emotional burden this past few weeks has been for you
But you brought this to yourself, so I want you to make sure you never forget about how much of a scumbag you are.

>>35054493
I'm sorry I disappointed you. Don't waste too much time scorning me.

I may be a despicable piece of shit, but at least I'm not an abusively powerful despicable piece of shit like Satan.

>>35054488
My state has a grant to incentivize and support businesses to specifically output what my business does. Its free money. That one is $10,000. The second is through a non profit for $4000. I got an email for the gov grant status that im approved. The non profit distributed the grant but its funded by a family trust. I did the tele interview with the head of the trust today and am approved. I need to order everything in the next week and turn in reciepts to be reimbursed.

You heard me say one thing prefaced as might and decided that it was absolute. You were inflexible in our arrangements.

>>35054551
Yeah, I tend to take people at their word. I thought that was a virtue, but I guess it's not. Games are $70 now, so you're gonna have to buy in.

>>35054555
keyword 'might' something is possible or uncertain

What a waste of my time. Friends my ass

>>35054563
What is it you're expecting?

>>35054565
To know better

You wanted to plan visiting the grave of an online friend in our group who killed himself that you never met over visiting me. I visited you within a year of meeting, you made me wait 5 years after that time.

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Im pretty sure I accidentally made my younger siblings all furries
>was 17 and bought nomad complex boxers online
>left them on my bed with the bedroom door open, alongside my sketchbook full of hot anthros
>came back and both the undies and sketchbook were missing
>"cool drawings anon!"
>where tf are my boxers
>mischief and teasing occur. They are cackling when I bring up the boxers. Find out after the fact that they were wearing them when I confronted them about it.

My foolishness knows absolutely no bounds. I'm so fucking retarded. I'm my own worst impediment, my friends are probably flimsy in truth, I involve myself with people who feel limiting. I have no place, I have no belonging. My presence feels embarrassing even where I do nothing wrong. My mind is attacked by unseen forces. I am an absolute FUCKING idiot. Fucking stupid FREAK.

>>35054651
SO TRUE BESTIE! I LIVE IN A HELL OF MY OWN CREATION HEARTEMOJI

>>35054658
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlUMmlvVTwI

>>35054651
Thanks

>>35054668
huh wuh? I'm a man. I'd be a himbo, perhaps. Certainly not a bimbo

>>35054673
Well, tough luck.

Rolling for buckshot.

>>35054708
Lucky me. Live another day.

>>35054578
You're angry with me?

sometimes im having a good day then i think abt my ex and all the signifcantly better looking and behaving girls he'll be around when he moves sometime next year andthen i want to crash adn burn myself

>>35054752
whast?

>>35054756
does gioyc not embrace venting? thats what im doing

>>35054752
Same. It also makes me mad to think how men never get tortured by thoughts like this. I mean, even on here you never see stuff like that

>>35054773
i dont think thats true, men do feel this way i think u just see it less cause men dont show or share their emotions as much

It just feels like I keep running into the same exact person over and over again

>>35054752
>>35054773
If it makes you feel better my ex found a very successful older man ( as in they were doing a phd when we first met, incomparable to compete with, worked in top companies etc) a year after breaking up with me, she is the one who left me.

>>35054789
i appreciate the effort but this really didnt help at all
i thought you were going to tell me he cheated on her or stole her life savings or something, that wouldve made me feel better
im sorry that happened to u nonetheless, sounds awful

>im just not good enough for you and im gonna be dead inside for the rest of my life on but pls see someone else and be happy :(((
thats it then, we're done

that being said...
lmaoooo you are such an embarrassing piece of shit
i dont get enjoyment making anyone feel like this let alone my former lover but holy fuck what do you want me to do about it?
you rejected every time i offered to make things better and the very last fucking words you'll ever tell me is one of self pitying and "woe is me i love you but i could never make you happy" bullshittery