When I was in 8th grade, I had a huge crush on a girl who turned out to be a gigantic bitch. I asked her to dance with me at a school dance and she rejected me rather harshly. Back then I was unpopular and massively socially awkward. I hated being alive, but she mesmerized me with her personality and beauty. I guess I had failed to see her less fortunate qualities. I was such a dumb kid.Anyway, after being rejected by her, the most beautiful and popular girl in the school and her best friend, also a beauty and quite popular, asked me if I wanted to dance with them. Heartbroken, I politely declined, but I forever after loved the both of them for the kindness they showed me in one of my darkest moments. We never really hung out afterwards, because I had my own group and friends and was generally very busy with them, but I saw the most beautiful one a year later at my new school. She was in tears and told me she was pregnant, then wandered off before I could collect my wits and respond. Her boyfriend had gotten her pregnant.I felt very bad for her.I saw her later at a grocery store. At least I think it was her. She seemed ok, but was with people so I avoided bothering her.I found out decades later that she had died just a few years after that. I never knew.I never got to say goodbye or thank her for being there for me and apologize for being such a socially awkward kid that I didn't have the nerve to say anything I really wanted to say.So here goes. I hope she can see this from Heaven.Magon...I'm sorry for my failures. I am grateful to have known you. You were the best person I ever knew. I will always love you for the kindness you showed me. If you can see me, please forgive me for my failings and mistakes. You were the best, most decent woman I ever knew.
My dearest love isnt even lost yet,but I'm already grieving like it's over. I dont know if I'm even coming home. You told me yesterday you wouldnt be ready to talk until Nov1st. Now I wont be ready by then, maybe never will. You were so kind, funny, affectionate, happy in the beginning. But that stopped as soon as the baby came and I needed help. Maybe I didnt ask in the nicest way, but rolling your eyes wasn't nice. Calling me names wasn't nice. I dont think you're a bad person, I think you need help discovering what your values are - finding your self worth. I have my own growth to work on.It feels like we're in a bottomless ocean and we're dragging eachother down. I'm trying to find the shore and I hope you get there too. I thought I could help you, but I have to help myself first.
Halloween is my favorite weekend of the year
>>35050650Whose baby is it?Who is the father?
>>35050703My husband. He's like basically everything I ever wanted in a parter - He's the whole package and more. Tall, dark hair, healthy/not too sporty, smart, nerdy, has a career, house, fun/funny. But he chooses behaviors that hurt me and I'm too burnt out and pregnant to even try anymore.
everything is grey and there's no hope that it'll change
>>35050736Tell him in a well written letter.
>>35050835It wouldnt matter. Showing my vulnerability to him has always been detrimental. I wish i knew how to help him want to change. I think the damage has been done, we've both hurt eachother and it's time to just coparent. I feel relieved in a way he's not (hopefully) disappearing from our lives completely. I worry me leaving is going to cause him to do something regrettable but these are his choices. He's almost 40 and I'm not making him do anything.
probably not right for this thread but she flaked again today so now it’s done as far as I’m concerned
>>35050126I met a girl and it was love at first site. We were both madly in love with each other. It was a long distance relationship but not too far.It ended because we saw each other so rarely and it was always so sad. All I had to do was get my fucking license, so dumb.She was so kind and beautiful, and I know it sounds shallow but I never slept with her despite getting the chance because I was such an idiot and I regret it. It's not just that I missed out on that experience with her, I missed out on the opportunity while all my friends were doing it and it made me self conscious for years, not to mention I missed the chance to do it for the first time with someone I was crazy about.It really hurts now because I was such a creepy loser when we broke up and there's no chance of reconnecting. It's been 14 years and I still think about her. It doesn't help she's still single and beautiful and kind. I want to message her so bad but that's just the retarded loser inside of me.I think back then I was severely autistic and I've gained just enough self awareness to realize everything that happens and be tortured by it now. It hurts so bad, still. It feels like that was my last chance for a normal life.
>>35050995it's not on you, man. trying to start anything long distance is incredibly difficult. but it still crushes you all the same when it falls apart.
>>35050126In my early childhood, I was dealt bullshit card after bullshit card. Eating sleep for dinner, sleeping in our car at random highway rest-stops, being abused by my stepdads, having a broke mom that robbed me of any childhood savings I could scrounge so that she could buy cigarettes. As an adult, my parents mellowed out, and started to do moderately well, lower-middle class. At the age of 30, I now look to the future. I'm giving up my dream of being a game designer in this AI slop economy, boys. I'm about to go enroll to work a trade. Wish me luck.
it's over.
>>35050650>I'm trying to find the shoreMike is her shore
>>35050736He abused you and from what you said he did to the infant is worthless trash person.
>>35050995If this is a larp then don't worry, m still love you m.
Back on the godpill. Kinda just realized you probably want to be left alone, and that’s fair. Call me if you need me
>>35051345Nobody mentioned the guy doing anything to any infant. You're tilting at windmills, retard.
I hate that celebrity death news is not optional. I whip open my phone that I paid for and pay a monthly bill for and I there is no way around being informed of celebrity death on the toilet.I would like some government to pass a law requiring celebrity death news to have a categorical tag so you can block it with your phone. The only way to get rid of celebrity death news now is to block the entire publication, but tons of media outlets will still report it.I do not need to know which celebrities die.
>>35051482She did in the last thread retard
Sitting on the dock with my legs in the water. Looking at the lake. I love hearing the waves. I think ill build a fire in the sand and cook some pork chops.
You would reach out before Sunday if you really wanted this. I'm not going to talk to you in person or on the phone unless another person is there. You can text me. But you won't. You don't see any of this. You're sleeping peacefully, woefully ignorant that our lives are changing forever.
>>35051565You breaking up and leaving him finally?
>>35051582Yeah, but we havent talked. He was too hurt from 2 days ago to talk so he told me he would be ready Sunday. So hurt by my transgressions he did his little wake-up routine a 2nd time. I'm at home, visited my dog's grave. It feels surreal. She was just here and then gone. I'm glad her passing wasn't drawn out and torture but it happened so fast. Incontinence throughout the day before and then passed in her sleep that night. My dad was trying to ask me if he should take her to the vet but I didnt even hear he was talking about her (through all the toddler screaming) and I was supposed to call him back and I didnt.I dont know if that would have changed anything. She's had explosive diarrhea before and been fine.When she was a puppy the vet thought she had parvo but it turned out she just had anxiety. It was really scary but that was the only health problem she had. I wonder if she had some congenital GI system condition or something idkShe was 14, so not young. But she's a very small dog so I thought she could've made it to 20 :/
>>35051513>posts no evidence>assumes everyone is a terminally online faggot like himselfkek
I'm 23 y/o and still a virgin. If I'm still a virgin on my birthday in December, I'm going to kill myself.I've had enough of bullshits around me. After all, the whole purpose of life is procreation and I've already missed out on teenage love and any sort of what people do in their 20s.It's way too late for me.
>>35051610>I'm at home, visited my dog's grave. It feels surreal..Im glad you are getting the time you need with her. When mine passed it would go out and lay there with him on the snow with his treat bowl filled with warm milk so he doesnt feel alone. I still do. >She was just here and then gone. I'm glad her passing wasn't drawn out and torture but it happened so fast. I know. It happens fast. I was laying next to him and He looked at me for help and looked scared. Then he was gone. >Incontinence throughout the day before and then passed in her sleep that night.Try not to dwell on the time she passed. Its something that cant be fixed and you dont have the opportunity to do better. Reliving it is only feeling the weight and hurting yourself for it. >My dad was trying to ask me if he should take her to the vet but I didnt even hear he was talking about her (through all the toddler screaming) and I was supposed to call him back and I didnt.Thats the weight you'll have to carry. Im sorry thats happened and i know what its like ruminating in it. Mine had been incontinenent and i gave him a bath that he hated and got upset. Then had a heart attack. If I had gone slower or just left him dirty. I was trying to help him. I was selfish too. Ill never forgive myself for my mistakes. Ill carry the weight. My faults>parvo but it turned out she just had anxiety.Same. The incontinence could of been anxiety. I had a bad break up and i shut him out. Said I would return when she did. And he just started going until he was gone. >She was 14, so not young. But she's a very small dog so I thought she could've made it to 20 :/Same, he was 14 and if I hadnt treated him like she treated me he would still be here.
>>35051617If you are so invested then you can use the archive. You dont need me to hold your hand while you stomp your feet at me tantruming like a child. How about your buzz off with your harassment campaign. I dont need your shit. No one does.
There's a man at my work whom I've been infatuated with for months. I dream about him maybe once, twice a week. I sometimes sing out his name when I am alone, think about him when I want to get off. I look for him, I plan my day around having even a chance of running into him at work. I get excited if he reacts to jokes I make in the team chat. I am totally aware this is entirely too much, so I am always sure to keep my distance, be polite and professional, not do anything to make things awkward. I sometimes imagine warning him to stay away from me because I know this level of obsession isn't healthy. One of my work friends is aware I have a crush on him, but even she couldn't tell I've got it so bad, so I think I'm pretty successful in making sure nobody suspects or senses anything. But he still waves at me, even from far across the room. He invited me to sit with him during his lunch. He let me stammer to him about an anime for a moment in the hall. We chat about weekends, when that happens. Once he asked me how I'm doing and I froze for like ten seconds because I wasn't expecting it.Truth be told, it isn't likely at all that I'll get a shot with him. I can just feel it; there's lots of reasons why it wouldn't really make sense. But I feel perfectly ok to just, admire him from afar until something changes and the obsession fades.
Maria,This is what I weather to keep our candle lit on our shore. To guide you home into my arms, to hold you, safe and secure. Home.>>>/b/955803414>>>/b/955794863
More narc garbage i have to deal with>>>/b/955804229
>>35051668Why wouldnt it work? Is he married or something?This is probably limerance but probably harmless. Just keep in mind the old adage, you dont shit where you eat.
youre not a good parent. you try to be friends with the kids to the point of detriment. She has basically stunted in educational growth since I stopped being the primary caregiver. He was on the verge of walking until you started talking over. you dont advance the kids. you dont push them. you give them what they want because its easy for you. the kids are constantly getting hurt, head damage galore, on your watch. you enable bad behavior. you dont teach them proper behavior. you dont teach them how to act. you dont teach them period. you cant pick up after them. I came home to bottles. blueberries, toys scattered around the house. oh, but the drawrers and closets have been emptied out. you certainly packed up and left in a hurry. you let them play with toys that are not age appropriate. either let her play with baby toys or let her play with toys that will eventually wind up hurting him. you are essientially an child. you are 30 going on 13. you throw tantrums. you dont express yourself in healthy ways. you cont connect with people becvause you have zero empathy. you are a sociopath. you want to be liked so you make all the wrong decisions to earn the approval literal children. you are ill. you need help.You have become your mom. Congratulations, little Debbie.
One year after breaking up with me she is going to marry someone else. That feels too fast considering I am still processing past messages and conversation in recent memory.
I spent all my love on the wrong people, and now I have none, not even for myself.
thinking about her feels like my heart is melting, i really hope this works out and we end up dating, i really hope she gets better soon.
>>35052497I know how you feel anon
>>35052497Love yourself and stop making bad decisions>>35052561Dont be needy
I wish my bf was more fun. I feel like I'm not "allowed" to be fun because I have no friends and he doesn't entertain it if I try to be fun and girly, instead of boring.
>>35052373This is why you never keep up with your ex after you split.
>>35052791You need to get the fuck over yourself.I had an ex like you.The only thing she ever gave a shit about was having fun.I like fun too, but her idea of fun was getting drunk, getting high, flirting with everyone, and in general being an absolute fucking disgrace to humanity.I'm glad she's died. She was worthless.She was killed by the guy she cheated on me with in her persuit of fun.He plea bargained down to a 5 year suspended sentence.The benefit of him being black.
>>35054165 Wtf 5 years?? Suspended sentence? Was it manslaughter or what?
Nice. I just got 2x razer edge pro i7 version with the dock for $300. Really fucking rare windows tablet. (Not the same as a razer edge tablet that came out last year)
