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>>98736839 >>98748172

Magical forests seem to be an integral part of fantasy. More than any other type of landscape - mountains, deserts, farmland, etc - forests define the fantasy genre. As well as being the home of magical creatures they can almost be a character in their own right. So, what are your favourite fantasy forests? How do you do forests in your work? And how do we keep forests from becoming stale as a fantasy setting when they're used so much.

Forests are, of course, rarer in sci-fi, but they still have their place. In post-apocalyptic sci-fi, for example, forests can be a symbol of the end of humanity's reign over the world. In space opera, far-flung colonies can end up finding that the forests they've settled weren't all that they seemed. So, what are your favourite sci-fi forests? And are there any that measure up in depth and creativity to fantasy forests?

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>>98736839 >>98738475

Salamandrosa, in xer royal purple and golden trimmed armor, leaned against the dull grey wall of the Strike Cruiser. Xe/xem looked down at the new captives. These so called "Mutt-Lord Africanus Americanos," a pitiful race, indeed. They chanted strange phrases in an imperfect enigmatic language. One of them, whom the others had referred to as "Tanisha," seemed particularly fanatic. Weeping, she begins chanting: "Oh lawdy, lawdy Jesus hear my words. Lawd, strike deez raycisist ahh niggaz down. Dey sin n' shi', and dey done want my boy, my only boy, Tariq. Lawd Jesus, protect dat nigga'z ass. He dindu nuffin', amen."

Salamandrosa pondered deeply on their bizarre language... "Ebonics," yuck. To hear it spoken wrenched the soul in unpleasant ways. "It matters not," Salamandrosa thought. Xe moved to the neighboring room, where a fiery captive, Tariq Nasheed, had been chained. The bones, flesh, and skin of xenos and humans alike littered the edges of this temple to Slaanesh. Banners of the Emperors Children, bearing orchestrations of white, gold, and purple lined the walls. Desecrated bodies hung from chains attached to the arched roof, reflecting a weak purple glimmer.

Tariq was bent over, chained to the floor. On his hands and knees. He turned his head, and gazed upon the towering purple warrior. A faint "click," and the warriors snatch hatch clamored to the ground, and down the steps behind him. His neck strained, foreshadowing the sensation to come. Tariq looked forward and downed his head in defeat. He knew what this was, hell, he had written a documentary on it. This was buck breaking. Simple as. Tariq was being colonized. "Fuck you, nigga!" Tariq bellowed. With every ounce of strength he could muster, he yelled and spasmed in volatile physical contractions to no avail. Realizing the futility of his efforts, Tariq spat. The hefty warrior increased his pace. "Nigga, I done posted 15 videos of wyt womyn befo' y'all niggaz got me. You'll never buck break this nigga!"

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>>98733966

>>98731902
>: 'forests'
Good edition.

>>98733936
it is a fucking stupid edition and will be ignored

>>98731955
>So, what are your favourite sci-fi forests?
I'm actually going to answer my own question here and say the forest in Scavenger's Reign. If you haven't seen it, check it out, it's amazing.

>>98733187
>>98733966
Off to a good start I see.

>>98733187
ebin, simply ebin

Almost my day off again.
Can't wait to get back to writing. Had to stop a chapter in the middle right when it was getting fun and haven't really had the time to work on it because of work and life stuff.
Even though I will probably have to re-write it in total when I finish the first draft of part one, I might put a cleaned up version of the first draft on here to get feedback, since it's sort of a new intro chapter to a project I have been working on for like a month or so.

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>>98744975 >>98745024 >>98773979

So I was starting to write a story that I've got a pretty good outline and everything for and then, in the first chapter I hit upon an idea and a dilemma.

The protag was going to be your fairly standard decently good guy, he'd have reasons to push the story forward and interact with the plot and other characters and all...but instead he could dump a body and get a haul of loot, trace free. 'Course he'd have to be quite the sociopath to even consider the path.

But wouldn't that be more interesting the read? Never knowing when/if the calculus in the MC's head on situation/gain would fall against the close friends he keeps (it never would, but the reader doesn't know that)? Wouldn't it be more engaging to watch the parasite as it worms its way into people's good graces and positions of power, all the while they never know exactly what a bastard he actually is?

But I dunno, dumping a body because it's opportunistically good in chapter 1 is sure to turn a lot of people off. I'm not the sort that writes purely for my own pleasure, I'd like to make something people would like to read.

>>98744732
I would like to read that anon. I don't think it needs to be in your face le evil, but I think a character that aligns with the natural state of man is interesting. If something pushes his goals, I would say just do it. I wouldn't even really touch on it, or treat it as immoral when he is looting the body and dumping it. It doesn't need to be some moral dilemma, or something he feels guilty about. "This is something that helps me, and increases the likelihood of achieving what I want, therefore I will do it."

You know your vision.

>>98744732
>>98744975
I realized I didn't even address your problem. I just woke up sorry. Maybe the MC really cares about his friends. Humans have frequently done terrible shit for their own group. I actually think it might make the reader more interested in the rational comes from something good, fundamentally.

"Damn, my buddies are hungry. Well, looky there, some guy hanged himself on that tree.... Hey guys! Cooking this pig I killed."

I mean maybe nothing THAT extreme, obviously, but you get the vibe. And you don't have to structure his character around that trait. His character could be structured around loyalty, nurturing, etc, and it's these positive traits that push him to do fucked up shit. Basically, he still has fundamental human emotions, it's just that for whatever reason he didn't really internalize the moral systems surrounding his society.

Also, it can just be a neat background thing that occurs once in a while. A subtle reminder that hey, this guy kinda has problems in a way.

>>98745024
>>98744975

Yeah, that's the sort of vibe I was thinking would be entertaining to read. Just no moral consideration whatsoever, except where it would affect practical concerns from being seen or likely to be seen. Accepting of any consequences that come from it, too.

What I think is the best consequence of this...is that the mirror of it is basically someone that actually does care about other people and seeks the best for those around them.

>>98745355
dubs of truth

>>98731955
Originally I kinda wanted my setting to be more or less a forest planet, but plans changed and while the planet is still dominated by forest it has other biomes as well.

Still trying to work out a forest dominated planet that doesn't have any oceans though.

>>98745024
I think it's an interesting dynamic. I've written characters of this sort myself.
>
A cheeky grin crossed the scout's face, taking pleasure in teasing Madeline's sense of propriety. "I'm just saying, we're both beautiful. Between my brains and his brawn, it's good material to work with."
Even as her sister seethed at this lewd candor, the single working gear in the barbarian's head turned at stuttering speed. Most men would have been eager to encourage this discussion, but he seemed troubled somehow. His eyes bounced from each side of his sclera like a pendulum counting time. A dozen times, two dozen. Soon (for him), he had settled on a question. "But what if they get my brains and your brawn?"
Capucine pondered this. "...There's always a market for dumb, pretty slaves," she said in a joking tone. Her sister didn't find it humorous in the slightest, furrowing her brow in fury and placing one hand on the hilt of her sword.
"You ought to be spayed." Madeline hissed. "Like a cat."
"I don't think she would make much of a meal," Zenlac mused, inspecting the lady thief from head to toe. It was a short distance to cover.
The sisters looked at him, both confused. He stared back, equally disoriented.
"...Method of cooking?" The hillman double checked.
"Spaying is..." Madeline shook her head. "We'll discuss that later.'
Capucine's head rested at an angle, amused confusion covering her face. "You eat cats?"
"He was considering eating YOU!" the blonde balked.
"I mean, she's your sister." Zenlac shrugged. "If you were offering... Seemed kind of disrespectful to refuse." Madeline looked at him, eyes boggled and lost for words.
"I think I've changed my mind," Capucine raised her hands in defeat. "Let's move on."
The barbarian was unfazed as ever. "All's well that ends well," he said.

>>98748697
They continued climbing in silence for a period. Wind howled on the mountainside, marking the crevices and outcropping in a faint dialogue of its own. Madeline gazed on the distant sun, hidden partly by cloud cover and thus open to the naked eye.
"Why NOT cats?" Zenlac eventually asked. "Sure, they're a little stringy, but that's nothing a good broth can't fix."
Capucine reeled back and crinkled her nose in disgust. "Ew."
"What?" He barked defensively. "They're a viable source of food. In cities they're everywhere. They just need a little cleaning." Even as Madeline cringed alongside her twin*, the wandering warrior continued in blissful ignorance. "Skinning them is the hardest part, but boil down their bones and..."
"Please stop," the party leader raised her hands.
"Okay." He shrugged. "Just don't get too picky, yeah?"
"Agreed," the shieldbearer waved through it so that this horrid discussion would come to a close.

*fraternal twin, this would be obvious earlier in the narrative but specifying in the middle of the line is awkward

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>>98757448 >>98758473

>>98742998
And am back.
Just a cleaned up rough draft of the new first chapter of the project I am working on.

Could use any constructive feedback while I work away on the rest of it.

Converted to png for your convenience and better readablity compared to a plain text file.

>>98755590
There are several fairly minor spelling or grammatical mistakes.

The narration switches from the wolfboy's point of view to something closer to the riders during the arm-monster's attack. Or maybe not but hearing "the goggled one awoke with a pained moan and saw how desperate the situation was." from the wolfboy's PoV is odd. You can transmit the same ideas if you pass it through a filter of a wolf's senses. Smell desperation and panic wafting off the man or something.

Your prose needs more stuff to end in -ing, I feel like I'm reading an account or video of a fight rather than living in it. Shorter sentences would also help with a feeling of punchiness. This is, admittedly, somewhat down to personal taste. Still, there's plenty that could be trimmed and in a fight scene you want to get rid of any fat possible.

Good job showing that the monster learns from fighting and being hit even if it's an unnatural entity. Tricks not working twice would be good to ratchet the tension if the prose was tighter.

I don't know exactly the relative sizes of the monster and the wolf but the image of the wolf tossing the armball big enough to accidentally knock trees down into the air with its neck muscles was....a little comical.

>>98755590
This was... okay. Overall, not too bad, quite engaging. But you've got a bit of synonym-itis (that is, using unnecessarily fancy or odd words for stuff), and your use of adjectives in general could use a bit more restraint.

Just in the first paragraph there are a couple of good examples:
>ground clouds
Who calls fog 'ground clouds'? I understand not wanting to repeat fog, but you could have just used 'mist'. Or you could have said something like 'preternatural blanket', or 'preternatural'

>well feathered raptors ... shimmering pearlescent fog
That sentence is not big enough to fit all those adjectives in; you need a certain ratio of adjectives to other words otherwise it feels overdone (also, there should be a hyphen between 'well' and 'feathered', and a comma between 'shimmering' and 'pearlescent'). What does 'well-feathered' really add to the description of the raptors anyway? You could have just said 'feathered'. Or better yet added something more descriptive; I'll use 'mottle-feathered', but there's probably something better.
>The pair had been pushing their mottle-feathered raptors hard, driving them deeper and deeper into the shimmering, pearlescent fog.

As for 'pearlescent'... I wouldn't put that in the first paragraph. By that I mean *I* wouldn't put it in a first paragraph; it's not wrong as such, and you can if you want, but I personally would hold off on that for a few more lines. Pearlescent carries a certain weight with it; it's like, if you were categorising adjectives, and ones like 'fast' or 'thick' or 'faint' were Class C, 'pearlescent' would be a Class A. And you only want to have one Class A adjective every, say, two or three paragraphs; throwing one in in the second sentence feels premature. Like, you haven't built up the rapport with the audience to earn the use of a Class A yet. Okay, I may be rambling a bit now, but hopefully you get what I mean.

>>98758473
Aw man, don't call him out on well feathered it's too low hanging a fruit Thought the same thing though. What's the substantive difference between a feathered and a well feathered raptor?

>>98759235
The well-feathered raptors eat better

>>98762746
slop

>>98762821
It will have to do... I will need to find myself more pics of trees and forests.

>>98731902
I do like forests, that said, I tend not to go to them alone into them that often, especially in more overgrown leafy ones, they tend to make me feel uneasy, as if somebody is watching around the corner all the time.

>>98770377
One of them ents. Just don't carry any axes...

>>98757448
>There are several fairly minor spelling or grammatical mistakes.
I actually found a few. Like changes in tense that made certain lines read weird. Shouldn't be any spelling mistakes though, I used spell check.

>The narration switches from the wolfboy's point of view to something closer to the riders during the arm-monster's attack.
Was a bad attempt at 3rd person omniscient. Been working on a second draft that sticks to the MC's POV the whole time in 3rd person limited.

>Still, there's plenty that could be trimmed and in a fight scene you want to get rid of any fat possible.
Agreed. It is something I have been working on for the second draft of it.

>Good job showing that the monster learns from fighting and being hit even if it's an unnatural entity. Tricks not working twice would be good to ratchet the tension if the prose was tighter.
>I don't know exactly the relative sizes of the monster and the wolf but the image of the wolf tossing the armball big enough to accidentally knock trees down into the air with its neck muscles was....a little comical.
Thanks both for the feedback overall and the complements.

>>98758473

>using unnecessarily fancy or odd words for stuff
It's a fancy and odd story.
*shrugs*
>your use of adjectives in general could use a bit more restraint
That is correct and I am working on it in the second draft.

>As for 'pearlescent'
Hard disagree. I am most certainly keeping pearlescent. It is the only word that I feel is appropriate for the visual I wish for the scene. It is also a gatekeeping word to filter for my intended audience. I rather people know up front what kind of vocabulary to expect so I don't have to constantly worry about dumbing myself down. It ain't like I am writing mass market fiction anyway.
Regardless of disagreeing on this particular word choice as well as its placement I do appreciate your argument and your input on the matter.

Thank you for the feedback.

>>98773428
If you're insistent on keeping pearlescent then at least trim shimmering, it's redundant like with well and feathered. You also reuse pearlescent fog after the first mention 'the colors of the pearlescent fog to swirl' and should trim its use there. You similarly use 'The surviving feathered raptor' where the specifier is unneeded because there are no unfeathered raptors present in the narrative. Unless its feathers get bloody or something else changes about them you're repeating information and that's a sin.

As for spelling mistakes, you use 'pardner' at least once. While this old timey western parlance is amusing I don't think that's an actual word or likely intended on your part.

>>98773488
>While this old timey western parlance is amusing I don't think that's an actual word or likely intended on your part.
But it was. There is a lot of genera bending ahead and I wanted to subtlety hint at that. It also hints at the parlance of the MC.

As far as the repeating information, I am using the terms intentionally to highlight those word pairs in place of a proper noun the audience will get later in chapter two.
The pearlescent fog is not normal fog. It is a particular supernatural fog with unique qualities and is called something in particular in world that the MC and audience doesn't know yet. So a stand in and highlight. A term substitution.
That said, you are probably right about the raptors. While it was the same technique as used with the supernatural fog, it is unnecessary in the case of the raptors. It is also probably too much to highlight in a single scene. I am probably trying to make the scene do too much with subtext and term substitution.
I suppose more conventionality is necessary though. At least in the first chapter. Ease the reader in more to contrast with how dense and odd things get later. Lower the cognitive load when just getting in to the story then build the reader up to the thick concepts the story is really about. That way they are sort of trained to be able to see the themes more clearly.

>>98773738

Doesn't matter if the pearlescent fog isn't a normal fog, it's the only fog in the scene and therefore doesn't need that specifier unless something about it changes. Also, although you haven't specifically stated this is necessarily the case, if the pearlescent fog is the only fog the MC has seen then it doesn't matter if it's special it's just the only fog he knows.

Also, yes absolutely ease people in. You have to hook the readers into trusting you'll do things well before you start throwing the weird stuff at them. Do you know how many bad novels there are out there? Are you a famous author that readers trust enough that they might tolerate extensive jargon in the first chapter? If not then your primary job is signaling to the audience that what you're putting out is worth their time (worthier of their time than the competitors, even) not trying to filter people.

https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=DJDzk-3EjHI

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>>98731902
I had this idea in my mind of an artificial garden world where a world size AI managed each environment meticulously all for the sole purpose of enabling its inhabitants to live care free within it. The catch was the inhabitants were so advanced they essentially committed existential suicide by willfully regressing into animals "going back to nature" so the suprise would be that the ultra-advance precursor aliens were the cute squirrel rat things the characters were seeing as they were exploring the planet.

>>98773916
I disagree.

>>98773738

Furthermore with knowledge that this is a first chapter there are way more objections to be had. You've got nothing actually giving the MC flavor until the last line of the chapter. No, him stalking and interacting with the raptor-riders isn't flavor, it's exactly what the audience would expect from a shadow wolf. The raptor-riders themselves aren't characters either, this is a vignette of a battle with no stakes because we don't know anyone involved or anything about what surrounds it that might grant a sense of meaning.

>>98773935
Cool, guess you've got it all figured out and don't need no editors or input then. I'm sure you'll have to beat readers away with a stick on account of how good your prose and story are.

I kneel

>>98773949
What is your problem and why are you now being rude?

At no point was I disrespectful. We have a difference of opinion on subjective matters of style and taste.
You are acting like you are upset. Why?

>>98744732
>>98744975
>>98745024
>>98745355
As research, I would advise you to read a book on sociopathy (unless you have personal experience/know someone who has it, and this is the reason why your character acts like one)

For example, compared to popular portrayals of sociopaths are as murderers and monsters incapable of feelings, when in reality the vast majority of them manage to live normal lives, getting up, going to work, taking three meals a day, and going back to bed. So reading a book or two couldn't hurt. I read Confessions of a Sociopath a while ago, but I haven't read any other books on the subject, so that's the only one I could recommend.

>>98773960
A simple pet peeve. If you're not writing for readers then why are you writing at all? Just keep the story in your head, homes, and have it be as impenetrable as you like. It'll also be perfectly suited for the audience of you. Furthermore you won't waste anyone's time or effort. This is the logical extension of the line you're insisting on. It's as close to objectively wrong as I can think of, fundamentally at odds with the purpose telling a story. Maybe you're the next Cormac McCarthy and you'll break through all barriers but I'm doubting it.

>>98773986
Are you incapable of being a civil adult unless someone 100% agrees with you about everything?
Why don't you write your own stories the way you prefer them if you are incapable of tolerating not having everything exactly to your specifications?
It isn't your story and nobody is obligated to make a story only the way you want it.

Being histrionic about it and exaggerating in a childish attempt to hurt my feelings is pretty disgusting behavor for what was a normal conversation.
Then again I could have misjudged your comments and character the whole time, and instead should have read all of your comments as passive aggressive and backhanded.
In which case you are quite the nasty person and I am unsure what you seek to accomplish here other then play the part of a jackass.

>>98774031
Are you incapable of tolerating someone on the internet being mildly irritated atcha? Without imagining me as some grand evil that was malevolent the entire time, I mean.

Yeesh buddy. Best of luck when you put your stuff out into the world at large.

>>98774054
With a ego as fragile as yours it's obvious you are too cowardly to ever actually put your own self out there.

Enjoy your bucket I guess but don't try to pull me down with you.

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Uh.... guys? We'll all just amateur writers on an anime forum, no need to take anything too seriously.

>>98773949
This was a bit much.

>>98774031
This was unnecessary too.

>>98766591
Put that branch down...

>>98760753
Kek

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>>98789453 >>98811741

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTS_RD5KFhQqxnly7C1ykBPOrUMmVLgYEqz95ggX3XTUtOs1D9NSur8kpYo8gWe0UvGGE4TTT5pFOzs/pub

Not quite a forest, but it is a jungle. This is the setting intro for my players. If anyone has any thoughts, I'd appreciate them. Supposed to be sort of lapidary prose.

>>98788573
Small repetition in this line:
The Petran Guard watches the CAFASH, still unsure if they are allies or occupiers. They cannot afford to make another enemy. They cannot afford a new enemy so they say nothing.

This is good as a setting primer, so far as I can tell. Sets up plenty of the possible angles of exploration and flashpoints, explains the subtle tension of multifaceted conflict and bubbling-under-the-surface conflict, introduces the major factions and their motivations.

Except for the Commonwealth, which is introduced as something immediately important without any prior mention. They supply the rebels with arms, clearly...but why?

The faction and sub faction names also are all technically clear but kind of jumble together by the end...that might just be a problem of the Commonwealth's sudden introduction without explanation throwing my mental map into disarray, and so fixing the latter might fix the former. That being said, a more assured way of ensuring the who/what/why stays straight in your players' minds would be to add a dramatis personae list or an appendix. This would also be handy for them to reference in the future if they need to refresh themselves on the interrelated conflicts of any given 2+ factions/subfactions.

>>98789453
Thanks for the catch and taking a look, I appreciate it. Glad it's almost there!

Damnit, no matter how many times I reread a piece I always miss a repetition or something.

I was worried about the birdshot of names. Was working on the Commonwealth faction description as well:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTNMh4XxZ5QM5b8AyfAmQwWGYbJUCuHoNAKhruM8afjYKhWRC4y7Pje-zQ_mxMbc7SPlT6_ZpWFFBWm/pub

I don't know if that helps. The idea would be for my players to have both.

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>>98791149
Forgot pic

>>98791149
Having them read this first would probably ameliorate a degree of the salad of names, but a faction quick reference/dramatis personae is still the more consistent way to go.

>>98731902
Has anyone written a LitRPG before?

>>98802566
I mean, I'm writing one but it ain't good enough yet. Why?

>>98803030
oh just curious

I've never written one before so it feels weird

So far I've only read one LitRPG book and I feel my system is super barebones cause it's based off Warcraft 3 and some Elder Scrolls

>>98803340
I think reading more in the subgenera as well as the over-genera will be highly beneficial to writing litrpg.
I ain't saying you need to imitate what is already made, but understanding the conventions, expectations, and tropes makes it easier to communicate what you want to your target audience in a way they can understand.

>>98803340
Which one have you read?

Most LitRPG systems are pure fluff, and fairly repetitive. I personally loathe the current saturation of 'oh you did a thing? get a skill for it! now scale the numbers on that skill ad infinitum (that is, writer fiat) that way I can feed the audience little meaningless nuggets that they still think taste like progress'.

Doing things that way is certainly effective, especially when the triggers for acquiring skills are nebulous since that triggers the same sort of mechanisms that gambling does. You've also got systems like Primal Hunter's, where the skill acquisition is almost explicitly gambling (but at least you're not generating skills out of thin air then leveling them, iirc).

I think I understand what you mean, contrasted against the above, when you say you're basing yours off of WC3 and some Elder Scrolls...but could you explain a bit and maybe lay out what your concerns are? Elder Scrolls runs quite a gamut of skill systems these days.

And despite what I might've sounded like above I don't hold any true ire for any LitRPG systems. Well. Okay, maybe the fires of jealousy for what Zogarth makes off of his shit burn hot, but that's a personal issue not widely shared by others (obviously) but I can tamp those down at will.

I hope chronicler is okay. He's a cool guy.

>>98804728
I've read Guardian of Aster Fall. From what I hear online, it's considered to be a bit excessive with descriptions and takes a bit too long describing stuff. I definitely did feel that when reading it.

Well my system is pretty simple. It's just gonna be:

>Muscle, Motion, and Magic (basically strength, agility, intelligence)
>Racial traits (like WoW or D&D)
>Class
>Subclass
>Minor skills (these are like the Elder Scrolls skills that are not combat related, like armorer, enchanting, etc)

And then each class gets 4 abilities and a passive, 1 of the 4 is an ultimate. They can reach a job advancement to evolve their abilities but start again at level 1 but with an upgraded class.

I feel it's a bit simple but maybe that's good.

>>98808105
Hmm, you've provided a description of what you've got but not how they actually work, which is what's needed to provide any input on whether it feels too simple or not.

For instance...like what's the actual user interaction to these elements? Racial traits is self explanatory, but for the rest the devil is in the deets. Does muscle/motion/magic grow off of use? Do subclasses modify class abilities or add their own (does it depend)? Are the abilities available static per class/subclass, as in everyone that has the same class gets the same stuff? Are there a limited number of classes/subclasses or are there a ton? When they job advance do they retain the old abilities or are they building up from scratch?

To just name a few.

>>98808232
But I dunno, I'm with you on the return to basics. My LitRPG is in an explicit video game but I've got:
>Comprehensive physical improvement
>More HP
>More skill slots
>Personal skills, nothing special but widely applicable
>4 Archetypes
>4 Classes under each archetype
>12 skills under each class
>Sub skills under each skill that modify how they work
And you get to select (1) thing of all of those every time you level up, and each class has a hard limit of 10 levels. But you can get another class after you've completed one, just with scaling experience requirements the more you've taken. Practical level limit is probably ~60 but that's years down the line in story. And, well the class system has some subtlety and variety I'm not bringing out here but that's the gist.

>Also subclasses, which cost resources to acquire and act+level in parallel to regular classes.
They're basically static, specialized lines of skills you progress through in a linear fashion. Still gotta sacrifice skill slots if you want to use most anything they offer though.

There are a few other progression paths but that's the gist. I think simple or complex matters a lot less than 'does it entrance the reader with possibilities'. I guess laying it all out like this it doesn't sound as simple as I thought it was, but since any given player is only going to see a few skills in (1) class of (1) archetype at a time it shouldn't be overwhelming to the audience.

>>98808232
Muscle, Motion, and Magic increase with each level up and the player also gets some "free" points to allocate as they choose

The Muscle, Motion, and Magic increase depend on your class. So for example a warrior class will get mostly Muscle, a spellblade focused on agility gets a mix of Motion and Magic, etc. But free points you can put anywhere.

Subclasses would change one of the abilities I think. The main class gives 4 (passive, 2 regular, 1 ultimate). Then the subclass gives 1 extra ability. Maybe the main class would give 3 and the subclass gives 2, not sure.

The abilities I think would get more or less supplanted by superior versions of the next job, kind of like in Maplestory where you get a new attacking skill. But there would be some advancements where you rely on the old advancement's skills.

As for classes/subclasses I was thinking subclasses would be a bit more generic and preset, but regular classes would be super unique, and some are racial based (for example, Dwarfs get access to certain classes).

>>98808382
Interesting, seems quite deep.

>>98809077
Thanks! I worked quite hard on it, glad to hear it sounds interesting even at a surface level. Oh shid I forgot but actually it's 5 Archetypes w/ 4 classes each. Always forget about the last one since I added it later.

Now that you've described your system in more detail I can comfortably say (in my opinion) you could leave it as is and be fine on the depth/simplicity scale. It sounds like you're going for having [as many classes as you narratively need], since they're all unique. Therefore your system is, effectively, as deep as you want it to be.

Near as I can tell, your levers for complexity are: how many and which stats get awarded per level; the specifics of what abilities are/do for each class (guess that's no substantial insight now that I'm typing it out). You've also got class evolutions. Plenty of LitRPGs run on exactly that framework.

You should read (or at least look at) more LitRPGs if you're seeking to write in the genre though. I would recommend the following, which have a smattering of different 'system structures' between them:
Shadow Slave by Guiltythree on Webnovel (or even better on pirate sites because fuck Webnovel)
He Who Fights with Monsters by Shirtaloon on Amazon mostly
Primal Hunter by Zogarth on Royalroad, which is notable because it starts off really bad but the mf makes $90k a month off of it now.
Godless Sword by LaughYeAmer on Royalroad, a fairly new story that exemplifies the...elder scrolls style skill system.

>>98788573
>>98791149
These are fine as primers for the setting. However, for an intro I would recommend some kind of hook rather than a basic explanation of the facts. You've told your players everything they need to know about the setting except one thing: why they should care.

There are a thousand RPG settings out there where an oppressed underclass rise up to overthrow their rulers, and the remnants of an ancient empire struggle amongst each other for supremacy. You need to show your players why yours is special.

>>98807527
Busy, but otherwise okay.

>>98808105
>>98808382
LitRPGs aren't really my thing and I've never even heard of Guardian of Aster Fall, but what you've got here seems pretty well thought-out.

>>98811741
This is a continuation for the group. They're playing the oppressors as part of the CAFASH if that changes anything.

>>98811741
thanks!

>>98809711
yeah yours looks neat. I kind of like the "Archetypes" thing, I assume there are Tank, Healer, DPS for 3 of them? I couldn't think of a 4th besides maybe "support" or whatever.

That's a cool list, I'll take a look.

I've also written a backstory for my setting, I was going to have an in-universe history lecture about it to have exposition, but on /lit/ someone said it might be a little bit heavy handed, and to use perhaps a discussion over an alternative theory.

So the basic idea is that there are dungeons in the world like Dungeon Meshi, and they began popping up more frequently. At the same time, various lands began dying, and food became limited to what people could gather from dungeons. Therefore civilization is a collection of cities around various large dungeons. Life is basically "go into the dungeon, farmers farm, hunters hunt, etc.". The majority of people stay in the upper levels as it's just too dangerous to go lower.

The historical argument begins with the main character and his younger sister. Their city has a festival in honor of it's founder coming up, who led many people to safety and helped set up the city where they all live in. The founder had a well known wife who is also honored a bit, but the sister is arguing the founder's wife was the real hero of the story and this is how the history of the city (and setting) gets exposited to the reader as they argue over historical fact.

Think this is an organic way to introduce the setting?

>>98812497
The Archetypes are: War, Art, Life, Myth, and Aberration. They're characterized by how they generate class resources (to use any non-passive skills) rather than any combat role.
War devotees accumulate energy during tense situations, in proportion to how stressful it is, and their reservoir rapidly depletes outside those conditions. Art's followers generate a constant trickle of energy and can store up to their personal cap without automatic decay. Life's disciples harvest the essence of life from the fallen and can also store it up to a cap without loss. Myth's adherents thrive in change and motion, and can harvest this potential freely but only keep a firm grasp on a small amount. Aberration's flock utilizes the same resource to cast skills as to slot them, and regains these slots much faster after spending them or unequipping skills than other classes.

For roles, the classes generally specialize into one thing or another but taken as a whole a given archetype is meant to supply the following:
War classes are masters of combat
Art has various methods of crafting and can leverage their equipment better than anyone else
Life has minions, minor healing, buffs/debuffs, and sustain
Myth covers scouting and enchanting, but isn't useless in a fight
Aberration does real wizard shit and is generally best at battlefield control and weirdness

The game in my setting is a VRMMO and I'm...incredibly disappointed in how such stories imagine such games. Traditional MMO classes wouldn't apply the usual way in full dive.

Anywho, yes a conversation is a much better way to present this information to the readers than a lecture. For one thing it feels natural and for another by presenting this information in dialogue you're gaining efficiency (which is what keeps readers engaged). You're providing setting exposition, but you're also characterizing the speakers through the way they speak and the way that reflects their mindsets.

>>98812497
Lemme also say that that sounds like an incredibly interesting setting that immediately and elegantly introduces several mysteries readers will want to unravel. I really like the idea of humanity having to take refuge inside the shallow levels of dungeons since the land outside of them died, especially since there's the potential (possibly implication) that the dungeons themselves are responsible for the dying. Who knows, maybe the dungeons are even actually sci-fi terraformers gone awry or something. Loads of possibility space.

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>>98812854 >>98812878

>>98812581
Neat, that's really creative. I like that they all feel distinct. Kind of wondering, by "enchanting" is it something akin to enchanting items, or is it like enchanting as in confusing foes?

I'm also curious, Life sounds like necromancy, is such a thing considered A-OK in the setting? Or is it not quite necromancy? I love hearing about other people's systems and settings.

>>98812623
Thanks. Yeah most of the intelligent races were forced into small pockets of civilization.

The PC himself is from a monstrous looking race, kind of like a rhino-centaur but the front legs are knucklewalking hands. I'm not entirely sure how to describe that from a first person view though, aside from, "Our bodies are shaped somewhat like the more common centaurs, but our front legs are arms we knucklewalk on instead."

>>98812679
Something necromancy adjacent exists in one of the classes under Aberration, Life is more fleshcrafting. Body horror and creating your own customs organisms that live to serve you and strive with all their designed vitality to fulfill the purposes you assign to them.

By enchanting, I meant enchanting items. The same class that does that also (via the stuff you'd use for enchanting) employs some more familiar elemental style magic. There is another class associated with Myth that deals in Light and Darkness, and accordingly touches on (among other things) illusions and deception.

As for whether necromancy's okay...depends on where you're at. If flesh crafters of a certain region find that using fungus to reanimate a skeleton is the most efficient way of doing things, then whether or not that's regarded highly or looked down upon depends more on how people think of flesh crafters and Life in the region than anything else. The techniques employed by Aberration, meanwhile, echo things the great powers of the worlds thought they'd buried beyond anyone's reach.

In the last moments before the New Cataclysm, every altar of the Old Three (Art, Life, War) delivered a message to those near enough to hear. "Beware, Aberration comes!" Immediately thereafter the altars went silent and shall we say: things went to shit.

Now it's been years, many societies have collapsed and despair is far easier to find than order. Worse yet there are tales that strange invaders speaking foreign tongues are emerging across the fractured kingdoms and polities of the world. The latest horror to beset the people of the land. Some say they're immortal, others that they can be killed but wield the powers of the gods or the long forbidden. Who knows where truth lies?

---

As for your PC's description, plenty of solutions. Have him search for a record of his species in a book or something and read it off of there. Switch PoV and have someone describe the MC from their eyes. etc. etc.

>>98812679
As a note on that description, a good general guideline is that description should start on the page and end in the reader's mind. You're telling the reader data points as you've got it written now, but all you really need to do is give an impression.

"I feel the coarse, armor like, skin of my front knuckles press against the wet cobbles of the street. Not that I can feel the wet through them, fine nerves are still the domain of the arms attached to my human torso. The four limbs attached to my new lower body are distinctively legs in function even if only the rearward two have the decency to end in feet rather than hands. All in all I'm now something like a centaur if the horse was instead a grey beast with a hide tougher than the militia's armor."

Well I'm getting tired, but something like that.

>>98811741
>Busy, but otherwise okay.
Just in case, I wondered if we could find you in any other place, maybe some writefag discord or whatever?

>>98815493
I don't really use discord, and I don't have any other socials I could share here. Although if I'm too busy to stop by here, I'm too busy to check anything else too, so it doesn't make too much of a difference.

It has occurred to me that I should leave some way to contact me in case 4chan goes down again; I'll have to put some more thought into that.

>>98816578
>It has occurred to me that I should leave some way to contact me in case 4chan goes down again; I'll have to put some more thought into that.
Yeah, that might be useful. If you come up with something, link it.

I'm not sure how to revive a character in a satisfying way, or at least prevent them from dying.
Long story short a mage unleashes all of their power in the middle of a desert, turning the sand to glass and a whole army to blackened bones. When she is found after this by her companions she is on the brink of death and I haven't been really able to think of some way for her to not die, being out in the middle of nowhere several days journey from any civilization.
My two best ideas were either a literal miracle happening, as faith is kind of an important theme in the story, like an angel appearing or fountain of water suddenly springing from the rocks. Or along the same lines the 'holy man' of the group producing some religious relic of great importance and power. But I'm not quite sold on either

>>98823078
Is there any version of her explosion blasting open a formerly unknown underground oasis? Is there any way you could foreshadowing that such things exist (perhaps a nearby city is based around one) so it doesn't feel cheap? If magic is in play could the spring in this one be magical or could it have special properties upon being first discovered?

All of which are just ways to keep her alive. If you don't want to cheapen the sacrifice then she still needs to have a tough recovery, be unable to influence story events she would've wanted (and caused) to go differently if she hadn't made the sacrifice.

>>98823078
They steal the supplies from the enemy camp? I mean, these people have to keep their shit somewhere unless it's literally all self-sufficient cavalry
At least some of it has to be salvageable

>>98823078
If theme is that important for you then go for it and try to sell on it. If it's just a plot point then you can make up some other, magical, reasons.

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>>98826703 >>98826721 >>98835331 >>98844166

>tfw trying to write a compelling romance when I am a kissless virgin

>>98825949
You've probably got good fantasies to fuel your writing, just find an editor (probably AI) that you trust to trim them into something more reasonable and never reveal how much they cringed while reading the first draft

>>98825949
Lots of authors managed to write compellingly something that they never experienced themselves. It's their own imagination, their own desires that guide them, not realism and facts.

>>98826703
Not sure how much it is a fantasy rather than a cute and in many ways what feels to me, a logical dynamic I want for the primary characters in the storyline I am working on. The romance isn't even really the main point of the story, as I am using the story to explore my autismal setting.

The two main characters are basically street kids, a human boy and what essentially is a feral cat girl he befriends, who have survived together since they were like 8 and 5, becoming romantically entangled later in life. I guess there is a bit of the idealism of childhood friends into lovers in it but it also kind of just makes the most sense for me for their dynamic to develop that way as the nature of how their bond is established and how they become basically each other's most trusted companions in survival in youth, just kind of naturally gravitates towards romance down the line as both grow older.

>>98827884
I think there's plenty of stuff for you to base this dynamic and story arc on. Just make a map of how one of these that you like works and copy+paste the structure into yours.

>>98830573
I don't really read a lot of romance stories so I am not at least consciously emulating anything.
The narrative is mostly just emerging from the background of the characters, the nature of their bond and the way I've characterized them both, with them having different, and at times conflicting temperaments that create fun dynamics, as in a reserved and a bit shy/cowardly boy who had to become the face of the pair in the street life because hiding the girl's true nature kept her safe, vs a girl who grew up as a feral predator, and inherited from that a fierce pride and survival viciousness that lingers underneath her temperament even as she grows and safety allows more softer and cheerful side of her personality to emerge.

The basic dynamic between them has a bit of energetic tomboy and more reserved "strong, silent type" boy as they grow older but underneath both of the more mature and socialized personalities lie still the same pair of kids who learned to survive together and whose social worlds are fixated on each other.

>>98825949
It do be like that... I would avoid making it a major focus, if I were you. Or write larger than life characters, not mundane ones.

>>98837842
This pic always fascinated me. Who lives there.

>>98825949
You just have to know the genre well from reading lots of it and studying what works and what doesn't.

If we were stuck only writing things we personally have done most fiction and all fantasy wouldn't exist.

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>>98845407 >>98846692 >>98855823

I'm trying to see if I can write a 10k sword and sorcery story in a weekend. Trying to channel a bit of Howard, a bit of Leiber. Wish me luck frens.

>>98844765
Good luck, fren

>>98844765
Difficult, but do-able; looking forward to seeing the result.

Good luck, fren

>>98844765
So, how'd it go?

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>>98859007 >>98860148

>>98855823
Very well actually I caught a ban or I'd have said something on Monday. I've decided to just keep writing them until I have a few, it was only 30 pages or about 12k words. I don't normally write in short stories, normally more of a doorstop kind of guy, so I'm playing around with pacing.

The vibe I'm going for is essentially two barbarian northerners who were essentially born to be the evil henchmen of a vile sorcerer or a warlord or a slave trader. Each story is either about them starting broke and then making a huge pile of money, or having gotten themselves a good job/situation and then fucking it up and ending up broke again. No real ongoing plot, a sort of two-man picaresque. Won't share yet, I want to have five or six of these to put up att once.

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>>98859003
>repeated essentially twice
It's over.

>>98859003
>The vibe I'm going for is essentially two barbarian northerners who were essentially born to be the evil henchmen of a vile sorcerer or a warlord or a slave trader. Each story is either about them starting broke and then making a huge pile of money, or having gotten themselves a good job/situation and then fucking it up and ending up broke again. No real ongoing plot, a sort of two-man picaresque.
Two Dudes Fuck Shit Up is the lifeblood of fantasy literature, definitely rooting for you

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>>98862373 >>98878226

This female Malfoy stuff got me thinking

How WOULD a female willingly desire and want someone who she considers of an inferior blood or race?

>>98816578
Case and point yesterday, Chronicler.

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>>98862563

>>98862099
If you have to ask this question you don't know how humans work. Just full stop.
Women love monsters. Women want monsters because monsters don't justify their existence, they just are. And women unironically see men they see as lesser or inferior to themselves as monsters. While they will generally avoid subjecting themselves to monsters, they will definitely fantasize about them because those monsters want them and that makes them feel desirable and valuable. They will go to them when they don't have an alternative, or just to taste forbidden fruit. Men want monster girls because any hole's a goal and the idea that nobody else wants a monster girl gives them the promise of exclusivity. Any woman who will look at them and promise them a future they weren't guaranteed to have is automatically first on the list. Women want monster men because they're powerful and feral and they're able to force their point. Men and women both want yanderes who are obsessed with them because people that will do anything to have you will do anything for you. Both men and women want people they see as exotic, even if that exotic option is considered inferior, because novelty may be an evolutionary advantage, especially when your "inferior" is invested in impressing you and may provide you superior treatment in exchange for "inferior" genes.
You have to remember that biology DOES NOT REASON. It just acts. And also that superior and inferior in biological terms are almost entirely contextual and therefore generally bullshit.

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>>98862373
I see. So kind of like admiring the abomination, referring to them as "fine specimen" and such.

How psychotic/posessive is the line "your eyes are mine" during an argument between lovers?

>>98862808
Culturally and personally contextual. Somewhere between "I have delusions of eloquence and thought that would sound cool" and "you are a literal pet/property", leaning strongly towards the latter. It's at best chuuni, possibly the unironic position someone is expected to have in a culture where romantic honor is enforced, and much more likely "I will stab you because you talked to someone" behavior.
There's about a 50/50 the response to this person believing they've been cheated on to not ask questions or publicly decry their lover, but to immediately escalate to attacking both suspected parties with no evidence or appeal.

>>98863103
Sounds about the right register, the character that says it is rather posessive and expects exclusivity, while also having bit chuuni vibes. So her bf looking at other girls sets her off.

>>98862808

Pretty much creepy anyway, really.

>>98864422
I don't mind creepy. The girl is supposed to be a bit weird and unhealthily attached to the boy.

>>98864613

This can work. I'd just add that even from a man's supposed "safe" viewpoint this is very close to danger territory.
If the story is set nowdays, I think at least half of men would take a double check if she's this level of creepy. Other situations may vary, of course.

>>98864994
Yeah, the scene is from the boy's pov and acknowledges how scary those words sound.
Neither the girl or the boy are very well socialized and for the girl the boy basically began as her first real friend and companion and thus her emotional world centers around him and grew around him as the pair matured and grew older. Sort of childhood friend/survial companion turned into posessive girlfriend once romance enters the bond.

>>98865211
I expect in that case she might try and cater to him in some fashions while being herself clingy and demanding. I feel like she would throw a fit when he didn't do something he used to always do, like cook breakfast, not because she's mad he didn't do it, but because she's mad that since he stopped he doesn't care about her any more.

How do imply trauma, particularly the sexual kind, and particularly if the character was young when it happened, and how do I avoid making his/her trauma his entire personality?

>>98866746
I would strongly advise against asking for advice on potentially sensitive subject matter on a shithole like 4chan.
You are just asking to get trolled with intentionally bad advice and demands that you be as edgy as possible.
Nobody here knows what they are doing.
Nobody here means well.
Please look elsewhere for advice for something like that.

How do you write fights? I have quite a few dialogue and envoiremental ones, but what about fights?

>>98866927
Read more books with frequent fights and take notes.

Nobody here knows what they are doing and any advice given is pulled straight from their ass.
Instead learn directly from what actually works from actual writers who have been published and actually know what they are doing.

>>98867038
>>98866880
This anon doesn't have your best interests at heart, the rest of the anonmind would never troll you and we are all actually best selling authors who just enjoy the anonymity.

>>98866927
That being said, he's right that you should read more books with frequent fights and take notes. The standard advice is: short, choppy, punchy sentences to reflect the pace of the action. Make sure the fight's demonstrating something narrative/characterwise and isn't just there to fill space. Decide on the level of violence that's suitable for the tone you're going for.

>>98866746
It's expressed in any number of ways. You don't really need to worry about 'how to imply trauma', you just need to worry about making a character and then planting a clue or two so that when it's revealed they've got sexual trauma your readers go 'aw shit I should've seen that coming' rather than 'where the fuck did that come from and why is this the author's fetish?'

The difference between Mirkwood and Lothlorien shows how fantasy forests should reflect their lords or occupants.

>>98867472
LoTR is trash

>>98866576
A major break I plan on their relationship that actually leads to this argument, before either truly acknowledges their romantic feelings for each other, is when the boy becomes more and more self conscious about his own feelings and attraction towards the girl, and becomes ackward and scared of those feelings, because he has sort of assumed a protector role for her.

He is a couple of years older than her, and was the more front facing individual of the survival pair (as in, he protected her from unwanted attention and was sort of the "face" of the pair to strangers) and in general felt obligated to keep the girl safe. Thus when he himself starts to fear that he might be someone that could be a threat to the girl he starts withdrawing from the more casual closeness the pair had in their childhood like sitting close, letting the girl sleep next to him and what not, as sort of sense of protectiveness/obligation. The girl instead interprets this withdrawal as rejection and that something is wrong with her now as she has grown and over the span of months gets increasingly frustrated, afraid and angry at the boy that ultimately leads to the argument and confessions of feelings etc.

Again, neither pair is well socialized or has any real proper education, as they are basically street kids that are growing into young adults and having to navigate their survival bond changing due to adolescence and the confusion that comes with that.

>>98866927
Give your fights breathing room, especially on longer ones. Have character think, add internal monologue when there is a pause. Have the characters exchange dialogue when it makes sense.
Don't write a combat manual, you don't need to write every single individual blow. Keep that for decisive, important actions. There is nothing wrong with summarizing certain parts of the fight, describing who's pushing forward, has the momentum or dominating, or how they are both intertwined, entangled, not budging one bit.

>>98867490
big claims

>>98867617
>I vaguely heard something somewhere so now I will speak like I am a authority on the subject
You are just regurgitating half remembered bullshit from people selling editorial services.
Read more, write more, yap about shit you don't actually know about less.

>>98871210
No, that advice is entirely based on my own experiences with writing (and I love writing fight scenes).
What a strangely hostile reply. Wanna talk about something?

>>98871760
I don't even remotely believe you have any experience in anything.
And this thread in general is a hostile environment that shouldn't be looked to for advice for anything ever.

How about you stop trying to lead people who don't know better astray with bullshit for your own sick egotistical needs to get one over or feel superior to others.

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>>98873564

What is the bot blabbering?

>>98871943
Well that Russian troll farm company got its servers back after the Ukraine strike so no surprise there's negativity all of a sudden

>>98862099
Malfoy doesn't consider Harry inferior to him in the books, though. The first time they meet, Malfoy tries to befriend him (in his own obnoxious way).

In fact part of the reason he's so infuriated by Harry is that Harry is a pureblood from an old, wealthy wizarding family like him, and yet instead of being Malfoy's friend - and Malfoy of course assumes that it is his natural-born right to be friends with the most famous wizard of their generation - he decides to hang out with the poor, Muggle-loving Weasleys and the Muggle-born Hermione.

Although in answer to your question, just because a guy is of an inferior race doesn't mean they can't have other qualities that make them stand out from other males. I am not from the American South myself, but I'm given to understand that while black men were considered inferior in intelligence and had little in the way of money, there was another... *ahem*... 'attribute' that white women had a certain fascination with. Although I'm assured that those days are long over with, of course.

Also - and I probably shouldn't admit this - I have to say I've gotten quite into the Malfoid trend myself. The Harry Potter books really do become a lot more interesting when Malfoy and Harry become an enemies-to-lovers trope. In the books, Malfoy as an antagonist becomes more or less redundant after the plot moves on from school stuff and the school bully trope gets superseded by real villains, so for the rest of the series he's just sort of hanging around, too integrated to cut out entirely but also not very relevant any more. Making Malfoy a girl who gradually falls in love with Harry makes the character a thousand times more interesting.

>>98862123
Yes, the thought had crossed my mind as well. I'll try to work something out with Discord.

How popular is low fantasy vs historical fiction?

So, how many kidnapping attempts would make sense for a newbie street child in a big city? I'm toying with 3 serious attempts where she escaped by bitting, kicking, screaming, and running/bidding + 5 with trickery, poppy soup, lured into a false job, offering shelter, and offering funding her family where she got away thanks to her silver tongue. Is this too many for an unattached newbie, street urchin before she attaches herself permanently to a group?

>>98879716

Historical fiction is more popular by a wide, wideeeeee margin.

>>98878226
You are "given to understand" a pornography meme made up by Jews in the 1960s. Niggers are all 25% white because Southern men fucked their farm equipment.

>>98879716
There isn't even any agreement on what "low fantasy" means and there is a decent argument to be made that it isn't actually a genera.

>>98880262
So eight total kidnapping attempts?

I don't know, I'm no expert on kidnapping children, but honestly once or twice seems like enough to induce sufficient paranoia to avoid the situations where it might happen again.

>>98880262

"Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action."

>>98880262

Children don't keep a tally of kidnappings. They remember the ones that terrified them, they half-remember the ones that confused them, and over time, the line blurs between what actually happened and the stories they've told themselves since.

It works best if only 2 or 3 feel undeniably real, vivid, visceral memories of biting, kicking, screaming, and running for her life.

The rest are events she suspects to varying degrees: ambiguous, half-remembered, or contradictory. Escaping trickery via charm and fast-talking means she likely views all social interactions as negotiations or cons. She'll assume the group she eventually joins is playing a long game on her, too.

When survival is on the line, hypervigilance forces a person to treat every ambiguity as a guaranteed threat. This raises a central question: Did her paranoia keep her alive, or did it keep her trapped on the streets?

>"Was the kind woman offering me bread, or was she preparing to chain me in a cellar before my first bleed?"

>"Was the man behind me down the lane actually following me?"

Beyond those, introduce one or two encounters that were likely nothing at all, or worse, missed opportunitie:

>A guard who looked at her a moment too long.

>A merchant who mentioned she'd look prettier with a clean face.

>A man who offered her work, then never followed up.

Crucially, she can never know for sure. For a child like this, ambiguity must be read as danger. Inflating the number is a defense mechanism; a form of self-soothing: "See? I wasn't crazy. I was being hunted!"

Finally, include one attempt she never speaks of to anyone. One she doesn't tell at all. Ever. To anyone. The reader knows it exists because she flinches from something and won't say why.

So when asked how many times people tried to take her, let her hesitate. She might claim "Ten," retract it to "Eight," or simply say "Enough." In the end, the exact number matters far less to her than the lingering feeling of being hunted.

I think I permanently broke my creative bone

>>98888276
You've just got to stroke it a little

I will be away for couple of weeks, keep the thread alive, anons. And Chronicler, do make a discord, just in case.
>>98888276
At least not creative boner.

>>98888276
It helps to recharge by reading something well outside your normal fare, or even watching a movie or series.

>>98890660
Safe travels, anon. I will definitely look into getting onto discord

>>98886444
Different kinds of pixies, do they get along?

>>98893930
With magical races that have distinct subtypes, I've always wondered whether they can interbreed and what the results are. Like, if a DnD Red Dragonborn and a White Dragonborn do the dirty, do you get a pink Dragonborn that breaths steam (ice + fire)? Or do you get *either* a Red Dragonborn or a White Dragonborn.

Although in their case >>98886444 I think the more immediate problem for any potential intimate relationship is that one of those looks like they might be a mantis pixie, so birthing a mutant crossbreed is going to be the least of that ladybird girl's problems.

>>98897225
Mantis pixie? Why is that a problem?

>>98899254
The fact that he might expect to decapitate her/be decapitated by her.

Also, I imagine mantis males don't make very good fathers, since the only ones that survive do so by putting as much distance between them and their mate as possible the moment they're done making the bebbies.

>>98900846
Man, your pixies are weird...

How do you feel about helping me straightening out a ttrpg scenario?

I want this to feel somewhat cinematic. Players are escaping from a underwater base. There is a top layer but enemy troops are occupying it and their starship remains on overwatch in orbit. Ideally they want the players alive but the players do not know this. The players want to escape and link of up with npcs on another base connected by a shuttle. The plan is currently to have the players travel through an underwater tunnel or some such to reach them, but i plan to give them obstacles and enemies, to force them up to the surface where air or speeder riders can intercept them. The plan will then be, at least for the me, to have an npc arrive to help evacuate them.

tldr; i want to run my players through a short vehicle chase before an npc picks them up. gonna drag them through a short bit underwater before i force them out.

If anybody decided to read this, what do you think? Is it too railroady? Is there an obvious plothole here? Is it actually just stupid?