My mom has this weird thing where anytime I try to do anything, she argues and debatebros with me on why I can't do it, even things like getting some food>Go to cook some food>NOOOO ANON YOU CANT COOK THAT>Ok what do I cook?>I DONT KNOWWWWWWW ANON>So I try to get some other foods>NOOOOOOOOO! Anon we're going to eat that tomorrow!Finally she tells me what I'm allowed to eat>NOOOOO ANON You can't use that pan! No not that pan no no no!>"So what pan can I use?">I DONT KNOOWWWWWW>I reach for a glass>NOOOOO anon not that glass!I decide to go out to buy some more food because apparently we're not allowed to eat anything but then my mom yells at that>NOOOOOOO ANON Don't go out! We have food here!>Try to leave anyway>She blocks the door and says I need to change before I go out>NOT THAT SHIRT ANON>So what shirt?>I DONT KNOOWWWWWwShe just says I can't do something, gives no alternatives, and argues. It's been 3 hours since this encounter and I still haven't eaten
Sorry that you have an extremely over controlling mom. My mom wasn't over controlling except for kitchen stuff and that was extremely annoying. I can't imagine what it'd be like if it was like that on every subject.Anyway is there anything you need advice on or are you just venting? For venting there's /gioyc/
>>35056637Asking how to deal with it or any strategies.
>>35056654I'm no expert on this but here are my 2 cents. I figure she has some psychological being-a-mom control issues. Subconsciously she still thinks you're 2 months old and need to be micro managed to the extreme or you will die. Or she has experienced trauma. Whatever the case she needs psychological help. Do you have a dad or other trusted adult to talk to about this?It sounds like you always submit to her. You could try to start going against her objections. If you don't you'll probably end up damaged as fuck, completely incapable of making your own decisions. I assume this will be a long battle. Hopefully over time she will fear your independent decision making less and trust you more. When she tries to stop you, tell her to trust you and then do it anyway. >mom I'm gonna drink from this glass, it's good I've used it before>I like this shirt and it is clean, I can go out wearing this. It's fine.>I'm gonna eat something, I'm starving. Do you want some too?Don't be overly emotional when you do this, the point is to train her to relax when you're making decisions, not turn it into a fight. Use positive words. Be respectful. Part of growing up is to learn when and how to say no to your parents. My parents try to baby me once in a while (I'm an adult with a home and job etc.) and I point it out immediately and politely tell them to suck it. This is best for all parties. I can tell they relax when I do it, because it means they don't have to worry (too much) about me. It'll be harder for you because she's pretty extreme by the sound of it.When she tells you not to eat that sammich, eat that goddamn sammich and make sure she knows it. For both your sakes.
>>35056637It's too easy and lazy to blame the mom. She sounds like a convenient excuse for OP to give up and not try in the first place.
>>35056736hence the >You could try to start going against her objections. If you don't you'll probably end up damaged as fuck, completely incapable of making your own decisions.
>>35056728Good advice actually, you should learn about exposure therapy it eases people in.
