I'm 24 years old, graduate STEM student. 180cm, 165 lbs. I started seeing escorts about half a year ago. Fun, novelty, curious, and of course overwhelming lust. I'd seen about half a dozen, each just once. Then I saw another one. Let's call her J. Well, the long story short is that from the first we clicked extremely well, on all levels. Sexually, of course, but also beyond that; our personalities just meshed really well. So I started seeing her weekly. Really by the 1st session something felt very different. By the 2nd and 3rd session her behavior had changed quite a lot and slipped well into the "unprofessional" (inviting me out for example). By the 5th, it was basically clear as day that she had feelings for me. And by the 6th and final session, we basically spent 4 hours talking, and we spilled our hearts out and she told me she doesn't want to see me in this context again; she doesn't and doesn't want to see me as a bank. She said she understands I may not be looking for a relationship with her, but that she wants what we have to exist naturally outside of the dynamic. Though towards the end and 1-2 shared bottles of wine later, she was telling me "I don't want to just be your friend", while digging her head in my chest. And I'm a rizzless autistic chud, but I also more or less affirmed that obviously I liked her far more than the context can hold, and that I genuinely really care for her, all without fully confessing and retaining plausible deniability. I think I have dismissive avoidant tendencies, so emotional vulnerability is very very difficult for me, and so I thought the escort context would keep me safe. And she's caught on to all of that, she's smart and thoughtful, she said she knows my way of showing affection is not with words, but with quality time where I'm fully present.
Although I described the progression in terms of her, my own thoughts and feelings mirrored what I described, if only with a slight lag. I actually remember the first time we met. She asked me if I was a romantic at heart. And I told her that despite what my apparent actions might imply, that I do think I'm an extreme sensitive romantic, deep beneath the armour. And she said more or less that she is as well.Well, we exchanged our real phone numbers, and we agreed next weekend I will take her on a long motorcycle weekend trip. She also doesn't speak very much English, and so I told her I will happily teach her it. Another important "detail" is that she's a few years older than me (just a few), and more importantly she has a daughter. I don't feel the need to defend her character too much, but I'll basically say that she seems to me to be a very hard working (yes she has other jobs), intelligent, thoughtful, intensely-present, kind, honest woman with a rough childhood, who is doing her best to give her daughter the best life she can give her. Obviously the giant elephant-sized horse dick in the room is not lost on me.Anyway, what the fuck do I do? Going into my last session with her, I was actually planning on that being the last time I ever see her. Basically it was financially draining, and it became emotionally intense as well, and my instinct in that situation is to withdraw. But now I can't possibly do that. I'm not sure what we are now. It's just all so confusing and intense. Here I thought with escorts I could avoid all of this. Have my cake and eat it too.
Hell yeah broI'm happy for you, regardless of what you decide to do
>>35055340The daughter thing is not good, but you can just use this entire thing as a huge confidence boost and move on with life.
>>35055344Thanks. It's a very confusing cocktail of emotions. It's what I spent my life avoiding. But this is a very peculiar situation.
>>35055354It's not that easy. We already exchanged numbers. She's been nothing but extremely direct and honest (even if shyly). And we already made the weekend motorcycle trip plan, as well as my teaching her a language. I'm not one to renege on plans and promises.
>>35055365Don't be a chump, fuck your plans and promises if it doesn't suit you in the grand schemeThis is some real goy/niceguy shit
>>35055373I see what you mean. It's just hard. I don't know what I feel or want.
>>35055387Well yeah you have no experience with any of this and you're thrown into the deep end against a vastly more experienced, cunning counterpart.She fucked hundreds of men, has a kid and basically has lived several times more experiences in this domain than you have, so she can run circles around you and make you feel anything she wants.
>>35055393But to what end? She explicitly said she doesn't want me to book her again. So in effects from her POV she lost a continuous stream of money. I'm a broke graduate student, so what could she be looking to use her cunning for?
Bro just date her and see how things go. If you two like spending time with each other outside of sessions, then keep seeing her. On the daughter thing, you’re not signing up to be a step dad by going out on a few dates with this girl. If the daughter thing becomes too stressful, then there’s your answer. Don’t overthink things
>>35055408Maybe to marry you and settle down, I don't know.Either way, her capabilities are like 100x yours.
One point of concern though, is that you initially told the story from her pov. Ask yourself if you’re putting her feelings ahead of yours.Do you want to date her because you like her or because you feel bad for her / care for her. It’s fine to be empathetic, but when making a decision to date someone, especially with a kid, think of it from a selfish perspective. Do I enjoy time with this person? Don’t be the guy who dates her just because you want to save her.
>>35055435I do like spending time with her. In fact, that last "session" wasn't really a session as we just talked for nearly 4 hours (no of course I didn't pay for that). But I don't know. But she's very self aware of the difficulty and of the context. Like I said, she told me "I know you are probably not looking to be in a relationship with me..." Etc, but that at the very least she would like to have me as a friend (though later contradicted by the wine when said she doesn't want to just be my friend).
>>35055422One of my friends thinks I should date her and see where it goes. The other thinks I'm making a huge mistake that can only end poorly.
>>35055426This.I had 2 dates with an escort, she even paid for our meals, then when I asked her out on a third date, she said "honey, you need to pay for my time" and sent me her price list. I didn't text her again, but she did send me a nice message after she left my country.>>35055480Your situation does sound different, but just be careful. They are whores in love with money first. Or, she maybe sees you as a ticket out of the escort life since she does have a child.
>>35055336Ask yourself seriously how many of her other clients she has tried doing exactly the same thing with.
>>35055770I don't know. In the escort community that is very unusual behavior, that is very heavily discouraged. Has she done this before? I don't know. In general it seems like a very bad idea. It'd be driving away streams of income.>>35055531It's unfortunate, but only natural, that from the outside one will always have a basic suspicion about her motivations and sincerity. All I can say is that she feels very genuine, honest, and direct, and that I consider myself an excellent judge of character. But like the other anon said, she could just be so much more "skilled" than I am to render it moot. She could also just be being honest.
>>35055336fucking run dude.
>>35055336Unironically, the only answer here is to become her pimp and tell her you grant yourself the right to date other people.
>>35055854Also, to be clear, make clear to her that she isn't your girlfriend, she's your bitch. If you think she won't react well to that word, then use something else, like lover, but the sentiment stands.
>>35055854>>35055865I can't really do that. Sounds evil
>>35055387what you dont want is your autistic chud ass to fall hard for a stripper with a daughter thats fucked enough men to fill up an auditorium, when she is feeling a bit lost in life so she throws herself in your arms. and something in your brain is triggered that everyone else already had early in adolescence and learned from, then you become a slave. the loneliness truely broke some of you. i doubt this is even a real post.how well can the average woman can hide her thoughts when she chooses to, but even then she cant hide her disgust. this bitch has taken backshots from niggas that look like gilgamesh my nigga. that’s what she does.
>>35055934You need to be willing to be a little evil and stand your ground. If you don't, women will eat you alive. No matter how sweet and in love they are, women are always making calculations in the back of their mind. They respect evil, because it arouses them, and they rationalize anything that arouses them as something positive.
>>35055496you only have one friendtake your friend, give him a gun and tell him to shoot you if you ever marry it
>>35056015I agree that I'm in danger of being a pushover. The nice interpretation is that I'm a sensitive young man, the less charitable interpretation is that I'm have spineless cuck tendencies I need to keep in check. >>35056000Yes it's all real. This is only the 2nd time I've felt something non-trivial (e.g. inconsequential crushes in school) for a woman. Last time was nearly a decade ago. I didn't feel lonely before I started seeing escorts. I'm quite self sufficient, have low need for socialization, and like I've said I have dismissive avoidant tendencies.
>I want to be with an older prostitute that doesn't speak English and has a kid
>>35055336men used to straight up marry prostitutes if they liked each other enough when the profession was less looked down upon. give it a shot. she starts stealing money or treating you badly? drop her, simple as. It's scary, obviously, but you're a man aren't you? be brave.
>>35055934You're going to think this is evil too, but I'm going to give you the best possible advice to keep a whore in line. You threaten her that if she does anything unbecoming to you you'll cut her face. Let's see who wants to pay for her when her pretty face is all scarred up. Of course, you don't have to actually go through with it. It's just words. If she still fucks you over, then you just leave her.
>>35055336she can easily manipulate your rizzless ass and with her profession its safe to assume she is so run
she's an escort bro.. no offense
>>35055336In Peaky Blinders Tommy Shelby tests the whore who his brother wants to marry by offering her money. You could get a trusted friend (or a burner phone) to do the same thing.
>I started hiring prostitutes about half a year ago>fucked half a dozen>this one is different, and a single mother.She's a whore, what's wrong with you?Also what's with this nonsense>seeing escorts>1st session>last sessionagain, what the fuck is wrong with you? they are prostitutes, it's not like you went to a doctor.
>>35056560It's just polite language. Session, booking. What should I call it? >>35056407I can make this reasonable by interpreting this as proceeding assertively and with caution, giving her initially far less benefit of the doubt you'd normally give.>>35056371Sounds retarded when you put it like that, huh. My ability to analyze is obviously compromised as I am now a variable with emotional stakes. But also your description is incomplete. The spirit is there though, and I understand. >>35056390Hm
>>35056474Manipulate me into what? I'll keep an eye out, but for now she seems honest.
>>35056482She's not even my girlfriend as of now. Maybe in the future
>>35056589Meant for>>35056512
>>35056582>My ability to analyze is obviously compromisedGood that you recognize this, you can still save yourself. You have to run, she will destroy you.
Ngl OP i'm a bit jealous. Maybe jealous isn't the right word but I've been known to monger whores and in my brother there once was a gorgeous young half-brazillian. She was new to the whole thing and you could tell (or she played the game really well). I would have loved to charm her away form the life. But someone else did. She quit and hooked up with a client, after being in the "biz" for about a month or 3. Wish that was me.Anyway she doesn't speak the language and has a kid? Run brother.
>>35056585dont be naive or you're gonna get screwed by the wrong group one day
>>35055825>It'd be driving away streams of incomeNot if you end up supporting her.
>>35056672Issue is I can't do that at the moment. >>35056603Yes it's compromised. My logic is intact only in the most superficial sense. The way I think bout it: imagine you told 3-6+ month ago me that I would develop confusing feelings for a woman that is (slightly) older than me, has a child, and is an escort. That's basically THE 3 warnings. Yet in the moment, with emotional stakes, and having obviously more than just those 3 data points, it almost doesn't register.
>>35056607I can teach her the language. One of my part time jobs is actually a tutor. And I speak 3 languages including English and hers, learning a 4th. The second one is one of the major sirens going off.
>>35057072Damn. You're Brazilian. PLEASE tell me she isn't Venezuelan.
>>35056015Shouldnt have to feel like washing my hands after reading posts but a narc as shit as your warrants it
>>35057123Shut up skank, the men are talking
>>35057116I'm not Brazilian. I speak English, Spanish, Italian, and I'm learning Chinese. And by that I mean in the very very very beginnings and I may very well just drop it. She's not Venezuelan.
>>35057141>She's not VenezuelanOkay. That's good. news. You dodged a bullet there, anon. Whatever happens to you and your whore-girlfriend, keep in mind that it could have been worse and be thankful for it.
>>35057123>your warrants itOnly because you rubbed your cunt to it
>>35057141Wait, so where is she from? I assumed Slavic
>>35057141OP, if she's slavic, you unironically need to listen to this anon >>35056015. Slavic women only respect tenderness if they feel you're capable of disciplining them
