im getting so hopeless about generating a force by myself in order to change.i tried to do different things in a different way, but i feel i need something that i cannot make up by myself. there is no shortage of self-help videos and books and gurus in their podcasts, each for a specific ailment, but i need people. And i cannot find them. Its like I need a certain kind of love and care or trust, a place where i am challenged enough to stand up by myself and still be supported. I dont know where to find it. Church is too systemic and closed off, and my friends are just those, but not the place, if that makes sense. Does anybody know what i am trying to understand? When i feel desired or needed I feel alive. But not any kind of being useful makes sense to me. Not at all. Do you know what i mean? Maybe you have an idea what its about? i feel if i dont find it, i cannot live. Also, its my bday. wish me good luck.
Congrats on making it another year anon! Are you perhaps having an existential crisis?
>>35055555quintet of quintessence. i need a hug.
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