I keep having these thoughts lately. It's a very cunning thought pattern. It leads to the path of conformity and safety, it's all planned out already.A 4-year long path, but it can lead me to an easy and rich life. It's telling me to go study for a banking degree, then work for a renowned bank, learn Chinese and ultimately move out to Singapore and work there for that same bank. That's the golden path that's been presented to me by my subconscious, a result of years of indoctrination to the system. Plus I kinda think bankers are cool.I got those same creeping thoughts last year too. When I acted upon them, I was deeply unhappy and felt trapped, even though I got more money. I did some freelance bookkeeping work and I hated it. It was fucking boring and anyone else can do it.But when I pursue my dreams, I feel amazing. But then then this stupid devilish voice keeps whispering to me to go back to a predictable and socially-acceptable path. What should I do? How can I kill off this voice inside of me? Why do I still care about what society or the tribe thinks? I live alone, barely talk to my original family anymore. Now it's even using the excuse of age, that I'm running out of time. I guess I should just ignore it and not act upon that voice?Please help.
part of you has already given up, part of you hasn't
>>35053655I don't know what to do.
>>35053671i know it's the advice board, but it doesnt seem right for me to be the one that decides your future. You seem emotionally mature, and you understand what's at stake. I would say you should go out and spend a nice day out, and only after that you resolve to make your decision then. Think about the happiness you're fighting for, not the despair you're fighting against. What lets you have a future you want to be a part of.
