i feel pathetic. im not really happy about the way i got in good terms with myself at a young age, like yeah my life feels easier now that i dont have to fight myself to feel good, but now i got zero motivation to do changes, i feel scared and cornered every time i want to do something to get better for my future. i have no motivation to try and exercise myself to loose weight so i can look good for when i get to look for a job once i graduate my dream career, and everytime i get to try doing home exercises i get so frustrated for not being able to execute them good but im so ashamed to ask for help or orientation. i want to do nice things since i like drawing and ive been finally getting into the games i wanted to play as a kid without consoles, but i ofter feel blocked and like im not enough to create something worth attempting. and i want to experience love without having to do everything myself for the boy i want, why cant people do things for me too? but if i dont move then anything will happen, but why do i have to be the one to do everything every single time? and i feel stupid for writting this in a stupid 4chan post but maybe the negative retroalimentation will get me to move finally idk i dont know anymore. i dont want to get worse, but i fear changing from the comfort of my own unmotivation
