Spent £4000 on hookers this year.. after the first 5 I stopped having sex with them, I just go there to cry, vent, hold hands, hug and leave like a fucking loser, its fulfilling, I feel like I'm doing charity work, is that weird? Im so fucking lonely bro and no girls in real life give me any sort of attention
>>35046885>I feel like I'm doing charity workI think they would rather get fucked than to deal with that.
>>35046898Yeah many of them say "your minds not right, I dont mind giving some of your money back if you would like to just leave" but I stay, I dont care about the money, being lonely for so long has ruined me
>>35046885Sounds more like you ran out of money.
Fake and gay story, OP
>>35046910I still have money and Im going again tomorrow, I have 30k+ in savings and a session is £150, unless something drastically changes in my life i'll just continue, I cant stop, to me its better than drugs, alcohol anything, its a relief, I can be myself, I can stop pretending to be stoic and alpha and just cry like a bitch to them about not being able to get a girlfriend. Only time I ever feel free. Isn't that so sad
>>35046917>unless something drastically changes in my life>I cant stop>Ill just continueSounds like you've got it figured out then, Anon, you're making a nice grownup decision not to change until something changes you for you.Extremely rare that happens though, takes something like a parental death so good luck with that.
>>35046885>I feel like I'm doing charity work, is that weird?Yes, it's weird.
>>35046917>Isn't that so sadHonestly, that’s just life and desire. If you are looking for a wife, whether there is love involved or not, you should try a church group. Otherwise, keep doing what makes you happy.
>>35046885lmao the habit of going and doing that isn't gonna aid you in finding a woman. It sounds like you can't cope with being alone, so learn to first.
To be fair, the shit you're doing isn't something you do with a girlfriend or even a wife outside of, like, the aftermath of a death or something. I have never met a woman who doesn't instinctively radiate contempt when you show that kind of vulnerability. If they love you, they'll mask as best they can, but you really shouldn't use your girl as a therapist.
>>35047481its made me more confident around normal women in my every day life, like i just think of everyone as a prostitute now not some unattainable princess on a pedestal, i dont really care about hurting their feelings whereas i used to be a yes man to every female colleague, i wish i could learn to cope with being alone, its been 10 years of isolation>>35047529yeah its like a more expensive therapy where i think less of the person im crying to because they're a prostitute, like i dont care if they judge me because atleast im not a prostitute. whereas when i went to therapy they kept giving me cute trainee graduates who i couldnt fully open up to
>>35046885Its a form of therapy I get it.I did similar by wathcing K dramas and bawling my eyes out (as a man).After few seasons of several dramas, I simply could not cry anymore, the pain left me and I was able to "return to society".I also realized I was addicted to "romantic euphoria" but not really ready for true relationship. So I changed myself. Started being more practical, more accepting of love, care. Not chasing the adrennaline. Found many girls since then who fit me nice and have been enjoying a reformed life.
>>35049240i think im too far gone, i cant accept compliments, i dont trust anyone who is nice to me, why are you being nice to ME of all people, what do you really want? i honestly think theres no hope for me, my self hate has been too high for too long, even if my brain can understand that its not all true, my heart knows nobody really cares about me
