i wish i was less unpleasant to be aroundi don’t enjoy constantly driving people away
Turns out the blower had a ground short. Bastard tried telling me it was just a bad battery and relay.
>>35028428If I was in Germany, I would have shagged that insecure ginger girl.I feel comfortable saying it here, because if I did I wouldn't tell a soul and hold my head in shame
>>35028428whats next on gioyc?will mike finally win maria back from colton? will the narc schizo get arrested again and blame the victim? will tammy and derek be stopped once and for all?
>>35028458Nothing will happen
>>35028428I want (You)
>>35028481No (You) don’t
Someone I'm talking to for the past few days asked if I still used 4chan then I remembered me going on these threads. I'm over the people I lost and am mainly living in the real world now. It's really sad.
>>35028428I have insane yellow fever. I love chinese phenotypes so much and think of everyone else like fat women - they exist but you never think about them.
>>35028512Yes I do
With each day of silence and distance, my feelings for you die a little more. I'm seeing things more clearly now.
I'm sorry for hurting you so much. Not to think too deep about it or anything, but if the chance ever comes that you read this (probably never which is why I'm comfortable saying it) I'm sorry for everything I said and did to make you feel horrible about yourself. I can be a worthless piece of shit sometimes, and if I could ever talk you again it would only be to say sorry. It hurts me, but I'm sure it hurts you much more, equally, or less. I am sorry though. I really am. Just a coward it seems. But I'm getting better and hope you are too.
You're an incredible person and you really helped me out of a low point in my life, which is why it hurts so much more. It would be so much easier if I could hate you, but I can't. When it mattered most you showed up, you just never showed up ever again. I guess I'm disappointed in you, but that disappointment is rooted in the knowledge that you could be so much more, and that one-time glimpse of the real you underneath it all is why it's so hard to let go.I'll always be here if you need me.
It would all be a lot easier with a brunette in my lap.
I will finally take charge of my life by taking my life. Once I've given life to the one who's drained mine.I love him but he's not for me and I'm not for him. I tried to be but I cannot and it broke me.
>>35028638I know we're not for each other, but please just go be yourself for someone else. You're too valuable to not be the perfect person for someone else, you just haven't found him yet.
YOU DONT KNOW ANYONE ON HERE. THE SOONER YOU REALIZE THAT AND GO OUTSIDE INDTEAD OF TRYING TO CONTACT "PEOPLE", THE BETTER.
Don't date women you meet on 4chan. Oh my god.
I'll claim you one way or another, you better watch that assI'm God's favorite after all
>>35028685and you know you're the favorite how exactly?
>>35028691I always get what I want
Someday, everyone loses interest, now, again.
>>35028698is that so? what do you want? hmm?
The only thing more pathetic than your self centered larping is that I fell for it.
what???
>>35028701I want my bitch backMy little lying cheating whore
>>35028707oh, good luck with that.
With the blueprint you’ve given me, I know what I want. Thank you
>>35028651Thank you but after all this time I've grown too attached to you to be able to live without you now. I've went along with everything cause I love you and I truly believed I'd love this life you've set us up for too. It's a nice life but I'm currently too broken to enter it without damaging it and anyone in it. And nobody will wait or ease me into it, not even you. It's okay.I will gift you a piece of my body, and I will take my leave from this world. I hope you will both forgive me one day and I'm certain you will find someone with whom to have the life and family you want.
If there is even a kernel of something good in you, it's not something I can reach.
>>35028719>>35028732don't suicide bait on 4chan. please. talk to a friend. please
>>35028752Not suicidal, and not the same anon. The other really should take a moment though. It will pass.
>>35028428I'm outta care-gas.
>>35028719Obviously we're not each other's person, but the girl I'm here for is someone I lost touch with because of both of our fuckups and I still worry about her a lot. She's full of limitless potential but I suspect she ties herself to her past mistakes too much and doesn't see how much she's worth. If I could tell her anything to her face, it'd be to go live and keep writing her story because it has a happy ending, with or without me in it.
>>35028732Go away.
>>35028428I wanna get my lipstick all over your face
>>35028428I think I flew too close to the sunGotta tone it down a little
Not going to make any life changing decisions until after the holidays.I'll just play it cool, not start any shit, just watching you
fuck you bitch, call me your best friend after playing with my feelings, I hope you get ghosted by the next hinge dates that fucks you just like before
>>35028834its your own fault at this point
>>35028850I guess I shouldn't have assumed the things that we did on my bed was a sign of interest.
>>35028834I love making you regret losing me
Trust wounds cut deep. My stomach still sinks sometimes when I think about what you did, but I'm doing okay now. I'm forgiving both of us for myself, but know that I won't pretend like nothing ever happened.
I want you I want you I want you I want you
it's over.
>>35028458I’m not expecting police to do anything about it unless my suspicions of imposters being utilized is true. I just want people to understand why we will not be getting along anymore and how much better my life will be if I had the opportunity to move out but there’s no way to do that until my trial is finished unless I agree to take drugs that I don’t need.
i always forget how much i hate talking to interesting women.
>>35028962Tell them that, maybe?
>>35028992She just did.
>>35028992if even 1% of people could turn off their inhibitions like that we'd all be dead.
>>35028997Why do you assume I'm a woman?Are men not allowed to be pathetic?
>>35029022You're right, that's my mistake.
>>35029024are you a woman? it is acceptable for singular pronoun use to be aligned with the author when the gender of the subject is unknown
>>35029040I'm male.
If Derek and Tammy do use imposters to fuck my head and my life up then I believe that the police probably already know about it.
>>35029045then your post was sexist, which is also acceptable
>>35029063Sure, Em. Sure.
>>35029063He was sexist but he was also kinda right
Thought you switched your writing style, my fault.
>>35029075You really think anybody you know would be posting here?
>>35029075What a schizo night we're having
>>35029082I don't know you, but I know you post on 4chan.>>35029085I'm usually alright with reading auras.
>>35029085Always is, which is why it's so damn entertaining.
Sometimes it feels like you were sent to meOthers it feels like we were meant to be
>>35029089>I'm usually alright with reading auras.Crystal girl?
>>35029097Nah, gawd, just said I'm a male.
Kinda miss her
>>35029102if you're a male who can read auras you're a faggot*mic drops*
>>35029120You actually believe that too, probably because you got hate in your blood.
>>35029122I actually have blood in my hate buddy retard
>>35029127I hope it's AIDS blood.
>>35029128Im straight so I wont have that problemUnfortunately, I cant say the same for you
>>35029133I saw that coming, like you do with men. We know you in the closet, trying to make niggas look gay.
>>35029135Im a woman lolSee if you were straight you could have sensed thatTo the conversion camp with you
>>35029142Mostly men think only gay men could get AIDS, which is why I jumped to that. Idk which one of you is talking to me, honestly, and I don't care.
>>35029147Lil schizo guy get cozy and go to sleepYoure starting to leak
>>35029150Please.
Why do I miss her
women who do not fuck niggers and faggots, do you worry about aids at all?
>>35029156Yeah, answer this.
>>35029156This is not atoga you fucking retard>>35029151What?
>>35029058I feel like a lot of people are aware that something is wrong. I don’t know if things persist this way because people think I’m playing dumb or if they need more information or if they’re trying to spare other people from guilt.
>>35029161Just please. Nothing else. If you love me, tell me you love me.
Apple fucked up the internet by forcing Tumblr to ban NSFW. The internet used to be more fun when Tumblr's userbase didn't shit up other sites.
>>35029169Im probably not her anonWhy would you wanna her this from anybody but her?
>>35029152You tell us
>>35029163Or they put off addressing it because they know I will be homeless if Derek and Tammy are arrested and they think they’re helping even after I urge that it’s more important for it to be addressed. I don’t know.
>>35029181It's a 50 Cent reference. I don't mean to tell you to tell me you're in love with me.
>>35029181*heardammit
>>35029185Oh my bad then
>>35029161adv is really just one big how to get sex general. if you need help with anything else theres a board for it
>>35029184who tf os derek and tammy
>>35029191Hope you're okay though, huh. Hope life is going easy for you and all that, you know?
>>35029200Thanks mister goody two shoesHope you fall and break your neck
>>35029183I felt like I could say anything to her. She was clever, funny, smart, and didn’t lie or sugarcoat. Was brutal at times. I truly loved that woman
To this day, my dad insists that my elementary school teacher was a communist and he brainwashed us.Funny thing is every year this teacher has this project where the students set up food stalls on the school sports court to sell items to our parents.Basically, we had to organize supply chains to prepare the food and sell it, and the group that brought in the most revenue won. The idea was to give us a taste of the reality of being an entrepreneur.So, some groups sold burgers, hotdogs, juice, etc.Today, I found out that my dad actually confronted the teacher that day and called him a communist.I asked him what part of the teacher's teachings was communism (he was a math teacher and he once made us watch the german movie Die Welle, because every semester a teacher got to choose a movie with "thought provoking messages")He couldn't say anything. "I don't remember, but he was one!"I then asked: "Am I a communist?"He answered: "No, but you absorved most of the teachings"So I'm a communist because I learned that selling good hotdogs at a reasonable price is hard and learned how to solve quadratic equations?Sometimes I just can't with him. I feel like exploding and calling him a dumbass. When he is questioned on his ignorance he uses the "I'm your father" trump card.He legit spends his whole day on TikTok.I get a little scared of the genetics running through my brain.
>>35029197Allegedly the parents of Alexander Bochan who is allegedly me.
>>35029217Why? What I do?
Don't think I didn't notice you walking in, realizing I was there, and promptly walking right back out. Why did you do that, though, I wonder? Does my presence intimidate you that much or is remembering my face and how you've wronged me an attack on your psyche from realizing that you're not half as good of a person as you want to/make yourself out to be?I'm content with either alternative, to be honest, both options have you being slapped in the face with how little of a person you really are.
>>35029237You dont tip your landlord
>>35029253Okay, why would I?
>>35029255Because landlords struggle tooAnd theyre the backbone of society
>>35029257Seriously? I don't think it's legal to 'tip your landlord'.
>>35029261Lets continue this conversation some other timeBye acoustic anon
>>35029220Why didn't it work out then?
>>35029266Bye, Em. Nice talking to you again.
>>35029267She’s married
>>35029273That's rough man, sorry to hear. Maybe she'll get divorced soon kek
>>35029286Lol all good bro, it’s something to be left in the past
>>35029247how did they wrong you?
is it schizo hours right now?
>>35029389Clearly
>>35029389Yes, get your microwave popcorn ready.
>>35029347Burnt bridges with me for some unknown reason and convinced a lot of mutual friends, some of whom I had known for years, to do the same, there's definitely a handful of people who, because of them, think I'm up there with Hitler and Satan in villainy.Thankfully the real ones stuck around and I've met new people since, but that doesn't change how I was in a pretty bad spot for some time because of that and petty satisfaction is satisfaction nonetheless.
>>35029407we barely care enough to ask. we're not going to track you down and rape your dog. give real details
>>35029389It was always schizo hours
>>35029247What's the tea sis
>>35029257HA.
I don't like lying. Ever since I was kid I was raised as an honest person and I understand by principle why it's nice to be an honest personBut if it's to protect you from getting hurt any further I'm going to do it. I will throw away my principles. I'm going to pretend to be strong to give you the peace of mind. I will be doing it even if it's not me
Being an Irish Chad keeps me busy; planting potatoes, drinking rum, and listening to Danny Boy. I need to find a slag or fillie to have as my bangmaid, armchair therapist, and mother.
>>35029075Schizo niggas flexin on the sane like
>>35029045Shall I call you mista?
You don’t love me anymore? Well that breaks my heart, but it’s too fucking bad. You don’t gotta love me, but you will respect me
>>35029544It would be funnier if a Mister was someone who creates the mist in a movie scene.
>>35029545I can see why they don't love you anymore.
>>35029576Good thing I was quoting the sopranos and it’s not actually how I feelhttps://youtu.be/62mo4G_mhd0
>>35029500>t. biggest fucking liar ever
>>35029556Are you a transgender?
>>35029638No, I just didn't know how to answer that.
>>35029590someone has to shoot me irl with a shotgun then if anything that I typed there is false
Guess I just needed one more knife in the heart to get over you. Suppose I should thank you for that.
i really feel like i am not good at my job lately, i can't advance at anything and deadlines keep pilling on, i am just going to quit even if i can't get the same salary i am ok with another job
>>35029656What about anything hurt you? Honestly, it feels like I'm just trying to walk and have electricity zapping whoever is near.
took me a week to start eating again, now all I'm craving is crispy spicy stuff
>>35028557I feel like this is bait. I take comfort in my m and I's truth of each other. >I'll always love you and care about you >No matter what >You mean so much >Yes >You complete me >I complete you >I love you more >You are the only home I have free of judgment and anything that will upset me If you want, you can lay down, close your eyes, and live in that with me You can wear my shirt >I'm crying because I need you this argument is temporary but I'll always have that empty part needing you >I am your home too I need you too We make each other whole I was thinking about that earlier No one has ever accepted me the way you do >You are perfect The best you can do is be there for me in your way >That's good to hear I love you >Lot >You make things better >Even when you aren't here, you do so much>You are the only thing that matters now >It's been like that for so long >Nothing will ever change that I want every part of you I need your touch I love you >I hope I dream of you tonight >I love you
>>35028705at least you recognize coltons larping now.
>>35028557Well, okay, where do you want to go from here? Completely your choice. You want me to what? Argue for you?
>>35029773Then why is it so hard to let go?
>>35029793>NTA (Obviously)Attachment can bring up those kinds of feelings, it's a sunk cost situation. You don't want to feel like you've wasted your time, so you hold onto it.
>>35029793Stop being retarded. Keep your promises to me. Fight for us. Show up. Follow through.
>>35029780Up to you. I'm realizing you're not as special as I first thought, but you're free to try and convince me otherwise before I'm gone for good.
>at my car at skatepark >boy asks me to help adjust his bmx>get my toolbox>fix itFirst time being needed, and sorta talking to someone irl in a long time. Something as basic as that makes my heart feel defrosted a bit. Like the grinch, I could sense a need to sigh fadeI saw myself starting to behave and look like an adult. Sorta slow and caught up in a few details kids don't care about nor considerI want a family, and don't really want a mixed race son (all my past gfs have been chinese)
>>35029810Yikes, I see why she left.
>>35029845My intention was never to convince you that I'm special. I'm just as human as you. If you don't want that, then I can't give you what you want. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm not for you, I guess. You are such a strong girl, so you have every right to feel how you feel. You want something from me that I can't give you over the internet and we cannot meet in person.
Bros, my foreskin is crazy swollen. Might actually go to the hospital if this doesn't resolve sooner rather than later. Also need to fap really badly, but I don't want to aggravate the situation.
But I stood up and faced another round
>>35029862Your narc narrative doesn't define us. Only her and I are each others truth. >I won't lose you * I know that, I won't allow it>You're the best, perfect for me>I'm so lucky>That's good to hear love you,>Lots>You make things better>Even when you aren't here, you do so much>I love you more>I promise it will be * and * on the beach someday>You have to wait for meI love you with all my heart and I will wait as long as you need
>>35030006You want to walk away. I would fight for you, but it seems you're in a path to hating me. I can do whatever and it wouldn't change the inevitable. I cannot control others' feelings.
I can trust her and follow through with our promises. I can keep my heart and know her for who she is, just as when we last were together. That's what defines us. Each other. I keep faith in us.
>>35030046Maybe if you keep shitting up 4chan she’ll come back
>>35029971ask mike he knows a thing or two about swollen dicks
give me another chance give me another chance give me another chance give me another chance
>>35028428Wheres the money? Why didn't NFCU stop the fraud when I reported it to them? Why did you all keep me in that boring apartment for dozens of years? What the fuck was the point of all this dumb bullshit if you were just going to impoverish me in this shit hot town?
>>35030054Maybe if she stops shitting up 4chan she spends her hours of obsession with me actually with me.
>>35028638Little one, please don’t. I need you. I want you. I love you. I’m not mad. I’m worried.I had visions of you dying the whole way there. Even at work. It’s agonizing. You can hate me but at least be ok. Please be ok. Hate me if you must.
Bah. It’s not you. You don’t care. You’ve decided. Labelled me, and I’ll only ever be that label, and a wallet, right? Not a dad, or a lover, or a protector. Just a narrative device.
i know i'm just a big as a fag for complaining about it and not ignoring it, but holy crap your performative male posts you share are driving me insane. you don't have to constantly share how you're this "soft boi woman lover" and "whimsy and silly guy who loves sanrio and cute stuff" to get a specific woman's attention. it comes off as desperate and disingenuous and women can see that. I love you. you're my friend, but for fucks sake is this sudden behavior really gay. It didn't work the first time and it won't work the second. I've already told you
Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where you spend a lot of time with a person of the opposite gender, you work together for example. You hit it off, start talking and over time you notice you get along very well. Over even more time you start to develop feelings for that person and you can tell they have feelings for you too. You know they're married, but you're not, you know you don't want them to cheat or you to be the person they cheat with, but you still have those feelings because its not something you wanted to actively develop, but something that happen and you decide to let these feelings die out over time, but it sucks to feel that way. Is this cheating? I feel like to an extent it is, but its not really something you can control, in that situation either straight up avoiding that person actively or changing jobs is the only solution, but sometimes its not an option. It also starts off just with talking and having to spend time together and the result of that isn't something you planned, but it happens regardless. People call that emotional cheating, which already sounds bad enough, but this part is involuntary, going out of your way to actually do something with that person, kiss or have sex with them, crossing that "line", is voluntary and is still considered cheating, its obviously worse but one leads to another and I'm just wondering about this and how bad you should feel for developing those feelings to begin with...
>>35030077How many more do you need? Come now.
sShut up
Don't you just love it when you become the target of a manager's anger?I forgot how to do the prep labels and I usually just focus on doing shit at work if it's directly asked of me. As such, for over a month, I didn't do it because I thought it was fineBut then this bitch just says that I could take over at any time and I said, Oh sorry, I don't know howAnd then she takes that as me trying to weasel my way out of work and says fine i guess you don't want to do it and i could go over it again for you even though i already taught youAnd then she tries "dropping hints" (which is what "good people" say to cover up their petty, passive aggressive comments) whenever she wanted something for the rest of the shift. She's also the type to talk shit about people behind their backs, so I know she's saying shit about how retarded i am and suchAnd for some reason right after she starts complaining about how she got cussed out by a superior at another store yesterdayLike bitch I'm glad you did, you probably deserved it tooDon't fucking make me your dumping ground when I'm stuck with you for five hoursYou want something from, then how about you drop the bullshit "politeness" pretenses and use that authority you have and just boss ne around. Fucking reminds me of my obnoxious shitass family god damnOf course, I have to shut my mouth and only speak when necessary. Only give canned, generic responses lest i get fired from an otherwise easy job because i rightfully wanna crashout on some bitch who brought her bitterness to work
>>35030302Still whining about getting caught abusing your gf?
>>35028428I jerked off to gay porn, I couldn't cum and was so frustrated. I put on some gay porn and it seemed to excite me enough to cum. After I felt immense shame and depression. I crushed my hand in a 20 ton press to make sure I don't jerk off anymore, or open jars, or doors or put my socks on easily.
>>35030331I don't think having a crush on a coworker you're close with is emotional cheating. I would pull away and keep conversations short for a while so you can cool off and see things more clearly. It sounds like your guilt is driving you toward making things awkward.
I might be really checked out, honestly.
>>35028428Please let me have the ability or opportunity for time travel.I won't stop or start major historical events or interfere with life and death. I won't save Abraham Lincoln. I won't kill Adolf Hitler. I won't steal inventions or plagiarize art. I won't try to make myself god emperor of the universe. I just want to fix my mistakes. My cowardice and confusion has ruined my life. Please. Help me help myself. Give me a second chance.
>>35030418You couldn't kill Hitler if you tried. He was not a man, he was divine. Travel back to when your retarded parents were conceiving you and push your gay dad off before he cums. Then you can disappear into the never was.
>>35030422>You couldn't kill Hitler if you tried. He was not a man, he was divine.Then why did he die, you silly goose?
>>35030428He never died, he lives on in my heart.
>>35030428I killed him, it might have been later in his life, but he died.
Déjà vu
Not even real estate agents could help me find my place...
>>35030331Emotional cheating is stupid. You're either cheating or not.Invented by the crowd that considers porn to be cheating?
I'm still planning to kill myself on Christmas. I'll buy a gun when my parents are in Istanbul and blow my brains out on Christmas Day.If I make this hike I've got planned that might change, but if I fail it twice after traveling across the planet to do it twice that will be the last straw. I will spend the rest of my holiday showering my friend with gifts and doing the bare minimum work to pay my bills, play WoW Forever and then die on Christmas.I won't leave a note, I won't need to, they'll get it. I won't do it IN the condo or the car, they need to be able to sell the things, but I'll sit on a bridge and blow my brains out there, maybe fall back and kersplat and really do the deed. It will be great, and I can get on with not being again, and not worrying about all these times I've fucked up over and over and all the other fuckups I'd make going forward. I'd be free. And if I have to go to Hell for this, then God's not worth worshipping for he made a gay system of evil and said 'you gotta live in it even if you fuck up and want out fuck you my rules' fuck you oh big scary man you're just dad, you're just drunk and angry dad and you said the best son's the one who dies in the worst way to make you happyNow if I get over this set of hills in Japan after covering every situation this time, I'll have reason to keep doing things but I don't want to keep going if I still can't.
>>35030451>If I make this hike I've got planned that might change, but if I fail it twice after traveling across the planet to do it twice that will be the last straw. I will spend the rest of my holiday showering my friend with gifts and doing the bare minimum work to pay my bills, play WoW Forever and then die on Christmas.It sounds to me like you know how to enjoy life. Why not just keep pursuing things that make you happy?
>>35030468Because I'm not happy I'm fat and alone and I never found a job that fit beyond barely sustenance delivery gigs in Doordash and my parents don't respect it and I still have to impress them for whatever finance they've got and I don't but I need to and I'd rather just be dead and not think about any of this.
>>35029268Im not EmGet your meds anon <3
I only heavily drink to fight with boredom. It doesnt work but maybe one day it will.
Don't mistake my attention, how I keep my promise to you as something it's not. Don't mistake what being provided and cared for means. You seem to write a narrative based on insecurities and fears, not the truth. Listen and see me. Ive told you the truth, i do love you and I want to give you whatever you desire, what makes you happy, where you never feel guilty for eating, Don't feel guilty for wanting things. With me, you don't have to earn the right to be taken care of. You just have to be here and be yourself. I love you for you, who you truly are. I want to feel you, find pleasure in the parts of you that are foreign to me, to experience the rest of you. I look forward to when you come home, where the silence is instead the sounds we make as your body learns mine. The way you bite your lip as I bite your neck. The way you feel home.
Take a minute to look at the threads made on this board. Look at the narrative they push to harm us. Do better. Choose us. Communicate directly so we can be done with this trash.
I wish GIOYC featured more images
It's not even just a pattern of behaviors done on impulse. It's value-deep, your rot, and you defend it violently. Your "right" to yell, punish and attack as you see fit, stomp around to "show you're mad," that your anger is the only one justified, your perspective, feelings, definitions, to be the only truth. I'm no longer convinced that that's something changeable. You don't want to, anyways. I realize the part of you that was safe and sweet was a lure, something you had to force. Unnatural, unsustainable. And that I had filled in the gaps in what I knew about you with, to me, logical kindnesses and empathizes and understandings in kind. I'm grieving that part anyways, even if he was half made from my own desires. He would be holding me now, calming strokes free of pressure and obligation. He would have hated you.
Dangerous and damaging. Maybe if it were just to me, I could have stuck it out a few more years aha, but I've got things to protect, things that need love. It hurts.
Whenever I have to do something, anything, even if its just hanging out with my friends, hours before I have to do it I get so anxious about it. I wasn't always like that, I used to just do it without thinking before, only got anxious before bigger, more serious things but now it just somehow got so much worse and I can barely bring myself to do things I like or things that are relatively low stress, I don't even want to think about the potential job interview I might have in the coming weeks. Its just this feeling in my stomach, like I need to be on my toes, looking out what might happen, it stops me from ever doing anything until that thing I need to do that makes me anxious is done. I hate this feeling, the anticipation of the worst, theres no way to get rid of it. I went to therapy, but that was no help so after a few months I stopped. Got on antidepressants but that just made it 10% better, but it made me feel numb to everything else, even good feelings. I'm on these anti anxiety meds now but I don't think they do anything and even if they did I can only take them for 2-3 months tops doctor said. I feel hopeless and the worst thing is that I don't know where its coming from. I used to be so social and outgoing at some point in my life and I thought that keeping that up will just make it stay that way, then covid hit and since then I just haven't been able to recover, its been 6 years now and now I can't even bring myself to go outside to a shop because I get panic attacks, every time, its exhausting...
I wish you would disappear from our lives. I want us to feel safe. Need to. But you'll never let us go, will you? You'll do anything just to punish me for leaving, even using her as a tool to control and harm me.
I miss "my" you...
>>35028428Day 1 of manifesting you back into my life
>>35030619Sounds like a you problem. You’re paying the karmic debt. I’m glad that person exists and even if they perish, your guilty conscience remains. Ha!
>>35030600Uses my words, so clearly connected. Question is , is this written to colton? Or is it bait?
If it's written to colton. She's right. I do hate him. Garbage manipulative lying narc. We lost years together because of his lies and harm he caused us. I hope we are almost through this and together so we never have to deal with him ever again in our life.
im so lonely
>>35030619Either an attempt to larp as me or colton is narcing out and making shit up to manipulate her more. >>35030624>I miss my "you". I didn't write the post so I assume this is maria saying she misses my mike. >>35030667Not clear who is being written about. Paying karmic debt makes me feel she now knows what colton did to us and he is cut out or being cut out. >I’m glad that person exists and even if they perish, your guilty conscience remains. Ha!Not sure who that's referring to.
To me it looks like colton tried to larp as me in one or multiple of those posts. Not quite clear with how it's written. All I can do is trust her over his lies and attempts made for me to change perception of her.
My MoonYouAre so special to me, remember how we fulfill each other in every way? mirrored hearts. With true love, equality is a balance complete in each other.>You're perfect for me>I'm so luckyI'm not a perfect person, but I'm perfect for you. You're not a perfect person, but your perfect for meI have hurt every day since feeling that part of me where you are missing. I miss you in every way. It's been 5years and I'm still here keeping my promise to you, never giving up on you. I pray every day for God to guide us home to each other, to live the life he made us. Dream good dreamsRemember, I love youWith all of my heart. All it takes to feel at peace is to dwell with you for a bit. I hear your voice and everything is okay again, even if just for a bit. >Thank you, you're really sweet and I love you>You're the best, perfect for me >I'm so lucky>That's good to hear love you,>Lots>You make things better >Even when you aren't here, you do so much >If it takes me being selfish because I want all of you then that's just how it will be >Exactly. I love you and I want to be the best for you >I do all those things naturally for you>I'm only yours,>I love only you>I love you more
You miss me but kept trying to and did change me. Everything you said you liked about me, my leadership, my protectiveness and possessiveness, my ability to provide. You hated all of it once we got married. Tried to dominate me, undercut me at every turn. I was willing to meet you halfway, to compromise, you werent. >you’re not just what you provide >I love you for you not what you’ve done for me Yeah right, abandoned, betrayed, left to rot with my arm outstretched to you despite it all. And you know, I still don’t hate you. I still want to help, but you really never let me. It was ironic given that you were so open at first, maybe because you had no other choice but to be given your circumstances at the time. But when we actually got together you stopped trusting me, well before the reasons you gave as to why. It wasn’t and isn’t fair. The one you claim to love and long for is still here, you just won’t receive him when he comes to you. I forgive you, and you don’t have to forgive me. I’ll be kind and gentle, like I said, I learned more about your condition, this isn’t entirely your fault, and you had some legitimate grievances. I am sorry for the pain I caused you, I don’t wish to add to it. The one who loves me, runs to me and hugs me, please don’t rip her away from me next time, or get inbetween our bond. A little girl needs a father or she grows up unstable. I know you love her, but what you’re doing is wrong. You can hit me again if you want, I’m ok with that if it helps you. But this is too much.
Sometimes I feel a great feeling of exhaustion, I really want absolutely nothing, I dont really want to be somebody, I dont really want to have any specific thing, I dont have a goal or a dream, I am largely okay with being single and I dont really want a family, I have a few people that I maybe can call friends and hanging out with them is enough of a social interaction, I enjoy learning and I study several subject of choice in my free time, but its not like im passionate about any of them. Sometimes I want to just not exist, to disappear along with every memory of me and sometimes I am afraid that one day I will be gone. Very strange.
>I still don't hate youI've read and heard enough of you saying otherwise
You fuckers got me sick. Thanks a lot
>>35030331I have your answer right here. And it's objective too. You should try to see and gauge if she's happy or not and see if she's happy with her marriage. Or if she prioritizes loyalty over her personal happiness. There might be more things that I'm forgetting about but these are the main thingsMost importantly, get ready to get hurt. Not just the extremely high risk of getting rejected, but you will be shunned as a filthy sinner forever depending on your religious inclinations/social circleAs long as you prioritize looking at her happiness, you wouldn't think twice and hesitate anyway. You will just steal her away and make her the happiest woman in the world
>>35030864Guilt tripping, gas lighting. What combination of words will get you want you want this time?
Everything was going great until you got bored of me
i desire nothing in this world but your love
>>35030945>>35030971Initial from?
Why economy tanking so hard on a sunday.( … Saturday, whatever day it is now
>>35030982You go first
>>35030908Fuck, thank you for recognizing that. Too long I doubted my reality, perception, fell for the words. Love made me blind.
I have reached to a point where I don't care If I die any moment anytime. But I want to went out in a glorious way.
AAAAAAAAAAAA
Hate that you still know exactly how to appeal to my empathy and remaining love for you. But it's not you. It's not real.
It's always immediately followed by attacks and insults anyways.
You'll say the same of me though, I guess, because I pointed out which behaviors and words you used were hurtful and destructive. You attack character.
Grief.
>>35030992Ok well I'll just assume you are larping
>>35031041No prob>I learned more about your condition, this isn’t entirely your faultReeks of narcissistic gaslighting. Helps to look at it a sentence at a time.
Well it seems that because several these posts use the same wording as me so they are either larps by Coltin to trick her or some other shit against us. Like>>35030624>I miss "my" youIf the posts are attempts to harm us then I just pray God guides her toward the truth.
Last night I had a dream where I had sex with the clone of the gf of my friend.
I'm moving on. I'll always love you, and you'll always be a part of me, but it's time to live my own life. I realize living my own life, being happy, and maybe even finding someone new, isn't a betrayal of your memory. Besides, when I end up where you are, I don't think you'd be happy if you heard I basically died the same day you did. So there. You'll always be a part of my life, but it's time to build something new.
Because I’m still in love with you, I wanna see you dance again
Some of you guys on the Internet are really funny
>>35031241give five (5) examples
When I see nonwhites with blonde hair I feel like its cultural appropriation
>>35031190What are you scared of?
You're not capable of sticking to your own word, you lie to protect your image (often at the cost of others',) you can't control your anger, or learn to understand and adapt to your charges' needs, instead forcing them to accept whatever you consider acceptable (even if it wouldn't be acceptable were it them to you.) That's not a leader, that's a tyrant.
Imagine having to argue with someone to NOT hit and yell at a baby, at children.
All I need to do today isBrush my teeth before bed Don’t buy another drink after I posted this Wake up before 3 pm tomorrow
>>35031338Some kids need to be hit jackass
>>35031364Lazy negroid-IQ take
I have no appreciation for life
https://youtu.be/To5tfCFpYU4?si=j-S5rdWh4z3MttPtEverybody has to let go sometime
Hey man, what's your problem?Don't you know that I don't belong to you?I'm not trying to forget youI just like to be alone
RULES OF NATURE
>>35031407thanks
>>35031411WhatKiss me thru the phone?
>>35031367Hitler’s father died and nobody was around to beat his ass and tell him he was double crossing himself.
>>35031415Yeah*mwah mwah*
I have been beating my wife for quite sometime and she has been bearing it. I only do it on occasions when I lose all control, I have uncontrollable rage and sometimes she just pisses me off. Well the other day I beat her lights out by spanking her with a belt for 45 mins as she was laying on the sofa with her skirt pulled down. It wasn't my fault she makes these squeaking noises when getting belt whipped and you cant tell if she is in pain or just bearing it and its quite addicting to hear so I kept going on until she passed out. It really made me hard as well. Just that weirdly erotic squeaks got it. The problem is the neighbours saw it through the garden windows and have started openly isolating me with guy who just violently removed me from his garden party yesterday.
>>35031455Xoxo
Some Woody Allen type guy asked to take my photo and where I am from. I am trying to feel complemented but I feel more like violated. Women have to deal with it more. I cannot imagine.
>>35031316That you are gaslighting being needy in those posts as a larp.
If he existed outside of my infatuated projections and a few choice words & displays from you, I would have fallen into his arms at his apology, at his owning up to and recognition of what he's done, at his plan to heal and grow together. If he existed, things wouldn't have gotten this bad. Maybe one day, I'll find him in another.
>>35031364No, not a baby or children. You don't understand child psychology. That is actually very harmful to them.
>>35031325Manipulative narcicist. No true emotions. Just masking and saying the words he determines will make you do whatever reaction or emotion. Most likely repeats things from others he knows work with you.
>>35031396Lyrics bait
>>35031448You are an imbecile. What combination of words will get you what you want this time?
>>35031510Im gaslighting you in order to do what?
God, I wish you had just told me what I was doing wrong instead of leaving me to guess. I’m a fucking idiot! I need help to figure this shit out!
>>35031462No wonder you feel it's okay to beat babies. Horrible.
>>35031538Someone who gives you the cold shoulder instead of working things out with you isn't worth your time.
>>35031533If you are talking about colton then you did the right thing. He never existed because all he has done is mask, lie, manipulate, and larp
Imagine getting cucked by a guy named Colton
>>35031546Who the fuck is Colton?
>>35031524I know now. He's repeated and twisted my own words. Plays on my desire to not abandon people. The guilt trips about how much I loved him at first. Told me I must have done something to deserve abuse previously. Started using "therapy words," like saying I'm disrespecting his boundaries (by pointing out abusive behavior.) He's called me a narcissist, sent me a dozen videos to prove it. Says the problem is me, for not trusting him.I'm so tired, anon. I really tried.
>>35031554I meant to tag this post, not the other one. Colton is a narc larper, hated by all on soc. >>35031524
>>35031555Those are common ways a narcissist will manipulate you. These 2 articles will help you. Best wishes!https://therapytips.org/articles/the-psychology-behind-how-narcissists-arguehttps://www.ourmental.health/narcissists/unmasking-common-narcissistic-argument-tactics
>>35031542Depends on the reason. My girl was deceived and manipulated to lose us. Naturally we love each other. That's why I've kept my promises to her.
I want the female I knew for over 10 years to be erased from my mind, I hate her and I hope she becomes afraid of me like I am going to kill her.
You read that Joan? I hope you wither away and die In an old folks home completely alone filled with regrets.
>>35031531I was just saying, yo?
>>35031566How do I deal with the shame of having fallen for it so many times, and of my breakdowns resulting from these arguments?
>>35031566Is there any hope that they'll realize and change?
When does the shaking and sweating and vomiting stop?
I hate it when you ignore meIts what you do best huh
I need to be held and soothed and cared for like I'm terminally ill and only have a week to live fuck
>>35031611depends on the source. hopefully you're not going through withdrawals. good luck, i doubt it's fun.>>35031653:( I'm just remembering how long it's been since I cuddled with someone fuck.
>>35031584(1/2)Self forgiveness is difficult. In regards to what harm has been caused to others,The majority of people will tell you to console yourself with some form of excuse for your actions. I personally believe that for the things I have done wrong and can't make right (for mine the person is not alive) I carry that weight on my back to the day I die. It hurts a lot but I take accountability for those things and there's no letting that go or convincing myself to escape fault by understanding I didn't know at the time or felt I didn't have a choice, put myself first, or was misled. Because I carry that weight in which there is no forgiveness, only living with it, going forward I take that lesson and try my best so I don't do wrong again. For the things in which you can make right, do you want to make it right? Is it for you, the other person, or for both of you? I think it's good to understand if what you want to do is selfish. Are you fixing it so you don't feel bad anymore or are looking for that escape from accountability? There's no removing that harm. There is no escape in that way like it just cancels it out. But there is an opportunity to grow through it and if you choose, grow with that other person. I look to the phrase "make the crooked path straight". Is this something that is permanently lost or can it be restored? Can it be understood by the other and forgiven? is it something that can be recovered, set back to what it was? Can it be something to grow from with that person? If you could set back the clock and choose differently knowing you were lied to, deceived, misled, would you choose differently than you did at the time?
>>35031659(2/2)In my opinion, it is not your place to label your fault you made as unforgivable, forgiveness is from the other person and that is their decision to make. Telling yourself something is unforgivable and not giving that other word on the opportunity to make things right with you is a double fault in the case that you wished for things to be better and they do as well. This is only true for the honest and good case in which you are honest, good and they are as well. Be aware A narcisist will use that kind of statement to guilt trip you into giving them another opportunity to take advantage of you by manipulating you to approach them as the one at fault and putting them in the power position to manipulate you through the guide of you doing better with them. I hope this helps you. I do have a bias in that this is what I'd wish my girl would do once she found she was misled,deceived, manipulated by Colton's lies. I don't believe it to be a dishonest bias, as I am being honest and it's the same process I take for my personal mistakes and faults. Though I have skin in the game so I think it's good to disclose that.
>>35028428When I was 17 I cheated on my girlfriend. I still think about it everyday. I hate myself for it.
>>35031604No, a narcissist will never "get better" because it's not a case of recovery. They are activily a manipulative lying POS. it's not a case of them realizing they did wrong. It's not an oopsie.b They are actively being dishonest, lying and manipulating you from the start. There never was true love, just the words they took from others to manipulate your response, decision. They never were real. Everything is built on a foundation of lies, masking. They demasked and you saw them for who they are and realized it's everything you despise. Any form of growth is them just finding the words and actions you need for them to attach back on you like a parasite. To draw you in to isolate you from others and convince you they are right, force you to be in a state where you depend and can't escape from them once the start letting the mask slip to and show who they really are. The mask always starts slipping when they get you trapped. If you move in, marry, pregnant. Every thing in transactional to them. There is no selfless love. No true love. They are toxic and literally the worst kind of person in this life. Run, block. Gtfo.
>>35031611Are you the narc she is running away from? If so, he is saying this here to play the victim card and gain sympathy from you, attempt to excuse the harm he does by convincing you he is suffering. It's gaslighting and guilt tripping. Don't fall for it.
>>35031646It comes down to who made this post. If you are talking about the narc, or it's the narc who made this post gaslighting you that you are at fault for rightfully cutting them out of your life understand no matter what always disregard everything the narc saysSilent treatment and emotional manipulation are narc tactics. By withholding affection or communication, narcissists attempt to regain control over the situation
There are just too many retarded losers for me to feel like I’ll ever find a proper circle of people. I’m so sick of culture war bullshit and having to deal with mouth breathing apes all day, every day, forever
people need to stop using the term narcissist so flagrantly.
>>35031681Not flagrant. You bring up the argument of missuse or overuse of the term which is a distraction and dismissal attempt by twisting my responseMy response is Specific to that asshat narc she is dealing with. Don't distort the use case of my response specific to her situation and questions. The narc she is dealing with is detestable and horrid. Period.
I wasn't talking to you
>>35031659>>35031661I would have chosen differently. I would have stayed where I was. I was doing well there. I was happy. On forgiving myself, I'm not sure if I can yet. I think if I stay away and stop accepting hurt and disrespect as love, I can begin that work. >>35031665I'm sad. I thought if I just explained the right way, found the right words, they would see it, see what they were doing, care about me. >>35031669No, still me.You've annoyed the shit out of me before Mike, but I appreciate your words today. I'm sorry for fucking with you weeks ago.
>>35031325Some fall short of forgiving due to their lack of acceptance. Approval of the inexcusable is not needed for acceptance.
>>35031665I guess I can see how his anger and accusations about me becoming less trustful or "respectful" of him when I moved in/married him goes in line with him "demasking"
>>35031325>>35031706Excuse me. I feel like if I don’t emphasize this again then maybe someone using my lack of approval will say I have an issue with acceptance and keep my life fucked up for it.
HOWDOI STOPBEING GAY
>>35031538You’re probably either just very annoying, or autistic, desu. You should work on that.
how should i approach what i am seeing, in order to see a solution. something is wrong with me for ending up with guys that i find immature or insecure and i find them offputting, unrefined or just amicable at most, that stir up in me motherly feelings because romance is dead. but i am not completely void of trust either. i do get along on my own well enough, until panic hits me and i start looking in the wrong places, or maybe its everywhere the same, because its me who does not know how to take care. sure, i am a bruised and teary eyed banana, but it must be possible to leave family business outside the door when i am wishing to fill my own space. i wish there would be a man for me out there. anyone really, just a man though.
>>35031820Nobody is perfect and every relationship comes with compromise. You need to find the right threshold of immaturity/insecurity you can put up with. Maturity is extremely subjective, and everyone is insecure about certain things. Obviously some guy texting you for nudes on the second date is too immature, and some guy who orbits you but never asks you out is insecure, but you might be disqualifying guys at the first sign of imperfection if you really aren't finding anybody at all. My last girlfriend was really insecure about her dead end job, and immature in that she couldn't do some basic adult things by herself (she was especially shit at managing finances), but she gave me consistently good advice, always listened when I was stressed about work or family, and we had more than a few overlapping hobbies we could enjoy together every week. Figure out what you're okay with accepting and what you're not rather than spotting flaws and immediately saying they're not up to your standard.Also I dunno if you're doing this, but never expect someone to 1-to-1 replace an ex. Everyone is different, and while maybe there are some things you miss enjoying with an ex, there might be something a new person brings to the table that you enjoy just as much if not more.Oh and one more thing: get the fuck away from dating apps. There are diamonds in the rough, sure, but for the most part they're full of bottom of the barrel people who can't find anyone any other way.
>>35031574I can make you die on the street, you idiot.
>>35031700If you would if stayed where you were previously then you know where to start. Dont do the "I need to heal before I go back". You will lost that place again. Go back and grow there. If that person loves you then they will grow with you and provide for you. .>stop accepting hurt and disrespect as love,True love can be just as physical, lewd, invoking control, degredation, and so much more but its done shaped perfectly to your in every way. The narc you were with only did shit as a mask and it was never real. That narc was only play acting to be manipulative. Its not real. I know for my girl when she comes home to me ill take her in every way and she will feel the most pleasure she will feel in this lifetime with me
>>35031646I was asleep.
>>35031700>I'm sad. I thought if I just explained the right way, found the right words, they would see it, see what they were doing, care about me.No because they never cared or loved you. Theres no emotion, love, care, understanding behind the words. They just repeated them from others and did the dancd to get you to do the result. Narcs are pure rot. Nothing more and a life with a narc is wasted and empty. Why live with the imitation of love?. The imitation of lust?It does not compare to the real thing. A narc is never real.
>>35031700>I appreciate your words today. I'm sorry for fucking with you weeks agoI understand it is difficult to talk and see the other clearly through text. I hope you understand me better now and i appreciate your words and look forward to your follow through of them
Evens go to strip clubOdds sleep in with a movie
>>35032116Strip clubs are kinda cucked
>>35031706The inexcusable is not an excuse , its acknowledgement that you recognize you are rot and deserve nothing. Never accept the inexcusable. Never forgive the inexcusable. >>35031710Exactly. And he deceived you that it is your fault for you starting to see he is only built on a foundation of lies>>35031756You are stuck making a character argument to bolster your percievement by the falsehood of negativity you attempt to convince of another. Its weasily conniving dispicable behavior and when I see that I judge you as a narc and actually see the other person as better than you. >>35031820You will find the one for you as long as you do not settle and accept negative traits. Narcs will convince you to lose your love by twisting perspective of the world and what is possible , trying to convince you true love is disney or limerance. Just narc false narratives to push your choices toward a lesser worse life with them. >>35031927Dont use this persons guidlines on what to accept and put up with. Dont accept what they are telling you not to accept. Look at the stories they tell and determine if they are pushing you back toward the narc. He will larp and lie to decieve you.
Coming to the understanding that the tender, loving, vulnerable moments with you were ingenuine and fabricated is devastating, like someone dear to me has died.
>>35032128>> when I see that I judge you as a narcUh-oh, someone better get the army of RCMP officers, shrinks and therapists after me, kek.
>>35032161What do you mean?
>>35032169What I loved was a lure, hiding someone who saw me as a tool, something to acquire and subjugate. Something not love.
>>35032193You're acting like you never did anything to make me retreat.
>>35032202I'm not talking about retreating, I'm talking about cruelty.
>>35032208When was I cruel to you? You literally did stuff with another dude. You wanted me to love you, while you withhold truth and love from me. I know what you think I deserve.
>>35032212I'm not who you're thinking of, then.
>>35032215Okay.
>>35032167Grandiose narc
>>35030600Aside from the kindness/promises being fake, this is understandable, little one. I want mutual obsession, belonging to one another, even the parts that others wouldn’t want. If you don’t want me anymore, or don’t wish to forgive me, that is your right. I forgive and love you, regardless. I’ll be kind in any event. It does hurt though, withdrawls and realizing I’m alone. At least you have them. I’m nothing but my function once more. Take solace in knowing that I will crush our enemies, and that our child will be provided for. I can at least perform the functions I’m designed for well. Someone asked me for a sticker today, like the firefighter videos we used to watch. I asked them if that’s where it was from and they said yes and we laughed. Thought you’d get a giggle out of that.
>>35032245Grandiose narc + guilt trip
I looked up anxious attachment and it matches me. Crap.
>>35032227No seriously, if I was a narc, what could someone do about it?
bruh whatever bs this thread is. heres my confession. I have been just fired and stole pretty much the entire repos of my former company in collusion with the IT guy. he didnt report my traffic. Now I am building an alternative to their tech stack and giving it away for free so they go out of business. Fuck them and their jobs.
addicted to breathplay ... feels as good as sex and dont worry abotu having to get anyone pregant but my gf says ive been twitching and shit when knmocked out how bad is that
>>35032264Accountability and a psychologist specializing in narcissistic personality disorder and abusive people. Someone who will call you out instead of coddle.
i want to stop constantly fucking up and making mistakes
>>35028428Autistic burnout + anxiety sucks man. Constant imposter syndrome
I have maiden tickets and now my life has purpose again
I've been in the hospital for three days for a severe case of shingles and they're giving me Percocets around the clock to manage the acute pain and I'm really scared that I will have an addiction when I get sent home. Is it safe to be taking these pills like this? It's the only thing that makes me not want to unironically kms from the nerve pain but it makes me feel so terrible and so sleepy and woozy and gross like I can't do anything.
>>35032306give them to me if u dont want just take like half hte pill btw
>>35032306The terrifying post-perc-constipation shit was enough for me to kill any addiction desu
>archived still downDamn, how am I supposed to do my preliminary bg checks on the niggas I'm trying to chat up on /soc/?
>>35032084Boo hoo you stupid bitch.
>>35032255as someone who's pretty secure, anxious attachers aren't so bad to deal with. avoidants are the absolute worst though. they're like ticking time bombs.
When will I find another woman like you? Probably never. Trying really hard not to dwell on you
>>35032331How'd you lose her?
>>35032315I legitimately have not taken a shit in 5 or 6 days, I think I had a poo on Monday... and I'm getting quite spooked. Where is the shit. It's biding its time. I'm eating food now but there is no urge not even discomfort. They are giving me some orange pills that's supposed to make me shit and I can't. I'm drinking so much water. They are talking about giving me a tea to drink now. Every time a nurse comes into my room after the shift change and asks if I have done number 2 and I say no I get a quiet worried look from them. This does not instill confidence. I am dreading the inevitable poopocalypse. Please pray for me. >>35032308They give me two pills with water when I start struggling to sit up in the bed or walk. When I take it I can walk around a bit, if I don't I literally cannot breathe without shooting pain in my spine and I start hyperventilating from the pain and rolling around in bed like a retarded animal. So idk I guess I keep taking it while I wait for the antivirals to work.
>>35032334She’s one of those types that’s here for a good time, not a long time. I got lucky being with her as long as I was. I was also quite the depressed piece of shit. It was inevitable
>>35032337try just one pill then if its too muchif not its okay you might feel a bit sick when you stop taking them for a week or so but you will get over it i believe in you get well soon nigger
>>35032319Noted. I’ll stop hoping for you to meet me halfway then. I won’t beat the fuck out of your replacement for me, not out of inability, but because I value the lives of our people, my function, more. Living for others, and being appreciated for it, the latter unnecessary, but desired. That’s what I want. That’s what I’m doing. God wills it.
>>35032331How are you tonight? Do you need some blankets for the cold?
It sure takes its precious time but it’s got rights and so have I.
>>35032348Grandiose narc
>>35032337Bro good luck. Took me 8 days and it was a fucking demon, and all I ate was soup the whole time
>>35032346Thanks anon I will stay strong. Next time I will ask for just one pill and see how I fare. I am doing better today, I stood up and walked to the bathroom to bathe without too much pain. Three days ago I couldn't stand for 3 seconds without collapsing in agony, which is when my sister called for an ambulance, because I couldn't stand up or sit or lay down on the floor without nonstopnscreaming pretty much. I have never had pain this bad before even when I almost died from a pulmonary embolism that was making my lung bleed, I would not wish this on any human on earth.
>>35032351If only you knew, faggot. Live your life as though anyone changing things is but a dream. You fail as a man.
>>350323548 days my god. The body was not designed for this. Tomorrow I will ask them for soups. My mom said she was going to bring me bananas tomorrow, bless her soul.
>>35032349Not bad, just working. I’m embracing the cold this year, madamska, as I hope you are too
>>35032357What have you done but discourage others lmaoOnly proving my point
This girl sucks at giving head I want her to stop
>>35032355damn that sucks dude i will pray for your ass
>>35032368Say “boooo”
Wish you would mean what you say and fuck off or pull the trigger or whatever other guilt tripping garbage you spout
>>35032348Bait ahh post.
You fought me on my every value, every show of care or trust, every outstretched hand, reduced myself to begging for understanding, empathy, faith shown and faith requested.
>>35032370Thanks bro I need it. This shit was not on my 2026 bingo card lmao. If you ever had chickenpox go get that shingles shot, I thought that shit was for old people but I guess you can get it at any age
The inside-shaking has stopped. Tfw a tripfag actually helps I guess.
I'll grieve what could have been, what I thought you could have been, or were, I guess. It really doesn't matter, as long as I've them. You were never mine.
There’s some bittersweet about this place, because everyone seems to be unified in reaching for the masks of the ghost Love you guys, you make me feel less alone
Fucking got my bitchass card stolen from that gay jeey delivery app fucking hell nigger kike bank refusing to reimburse of course
It's cool it's cool, it finally clicked, that you never saw me as a person, only a tool, hence accusing me constantly of seeing you that way, the projection. That I, that she, was used and treated as an acquisition on a list, something to bolster your social standing, your ego.
You won't stop doing your best to damage and torture me, I know that, but at least I can expect it now, without falling continuously for the false "I love you"s "I want to take care of you"s
>>35032245Horrid narc. At least you recognize it. Cut the rot out. Block completely.
>>35032325You're the one batching and moaning about my existence, dumb fuck.
Everybody needs someone or somethingAnd when I sing, don't I sing your name out, right at the same time that I sing my own?But you never appreciated any of that
>>35032461You're responding to the narc itself
>>35032357The fact others recognize your narc bullshit. Thank god. Finally.
>>35032468I am aware.
It truly doesn't matter.
>>35032476I willfully ignored the signs, gaslit myself, allowed myself to be gaslit, in hopes of breaking through to love, only to find that empty black glare in his eyes.
Can I still get into heaven if I kill myself?
You say you "hate driving with me" because my "attitude makes it stressful" when my attitude is literally 1/10 of the foul shit you say/do when you're behind the wheel.I bet you felt like an idiot when you asked why I was stopping (for a pedestrian in the crosswalk)It doesn't make sense, it feels like everything you criticize me for are literally things you're guilty of. Like you're either extremely self aware of your own shortcomings or just projecting.Let alone the hurt I felt when you say you hate being with me.Get your fucking shit together bro. Every time you start drama over literally nothing it makes me want to progress further with the divorce.
>>35032506That's up to The Creator.
What an ugly place I confined myself to for you.
There was no truth in any of the good you uttered, was there? Revulsion is what I feel. Not hate. Just, disappointment.
>>35028428Painful to graduate at the top of the class only to have a below average career progression while the slackers jump ahead. FML
Rekt threads and surveillance camera threads made me believe that not only is white privilege real, but that it's being wasted by letting black and brown immigrants into developed, civilised countries.
You are something small and craven under the mask. A grub, a rotting larva, shrieking abuses at the insecticide from within the festering hole you've chewed jagged into the flesh of whomever, whatever, you parasitize.
>>35032556What did she do bro
>>35032556Just turn away if you feel that way. Ignore it all.
i dont like videocalling him and i dont think i will miss him if i stop talking to him all together. and i think i really want that.
I don’t understand if Matthew 25:46 is meant to be a teaching from Jesus or his prediction of what the son of man will say. I understand that He’ll is eternal but it’s difficult for me to believe that God would keep someone in hell eternally if they are forgiven.
>>35032642You can't even fathom eternity. If humans were more loving than The Creator, then Hell would exist.
The Sims woman was definitely a challenge to figure out. I think I got a handle of that woman. Shit you all have no idea how difficult she was and how deep I dug to deal with that. Definitely is a mama bear who you have to keep your distance from.
Holy fuck and talk about how this woman is a feminist but at the same time puts men into bizarre categories. I find it sad that she couldn't date me when she put in the forethought of her mind all these terrifying events in the world and it occupied her mind too much to where she couldn't relax. I believe the mistake I made was try too hard to help her be vulnerable, which if she considered what I said instead of taking it out of context she'd see I wanted to be her friend, but nope apparently mama bear has to be tough so that she can protect herself... Ughhh.... I mean what the hell I'm vulnerable all the time and I don't get this treatment she is talking about.
I could go out, meet a whore, fuck the whore, kick the whore out
>>35032796Yeah, but where is human experience in all of that. I remember someone telling me I could avoid all the pitfalls of a relationship and just rush to that and some people say relationship stuff is gay, but I kind of wanted a woman who is both really my best friend and someone who'd really go down on me and then the two of use spend a life together. However reality kicked in and she's someone who has to see that the world is an awful place to live in and not everyone is who they seem to be. I show up in her world as a part of the problem of all the men she dealt with: all those murderers, rapists, and thieves who could never give her the light of the day. That and the fathers she kissed who turned her back on her like he decided to get cigarettes and never came back. I wish I was fucking 40 and used to be in the military as someone in special forces and had tattoos of the unit I was in so that she could feel some safety from that, but yet again reality kicked in for me in that I am this fucked up weirdo who has mental issues and anytime people approach me like this anon they see only screwed up language instead of an actual human being who feels comfortable sharing his life to him, which of course he'll see as rude and I understand that, but this is a venting thread.
Like I really could have been an actual man women could latch on to if life just didn't make me look like a fucking faggot all the time!
Someone was up posting mad nice lyrics in this thread and someone schizoposted ruined it every single time. Sad times we live in
MariaJust because you feel lost does not mean your compass is broken>You're the best, perfect to me >I'm so lucky >I want it to happen so bad >You make me feel things I've never felt before Do you choose for me to be yours as I want you to be mine>I posted on r9k thinking you would see it>I do>You have to wait for meI love you with all my heart and I will wait as long as you need>I love you too. that makes me feel at ease>I promise it will be * and * at the beach someday, if your even still want to see my face.>"I know I feel both with you and I can dwell in both love and lust, we will fuck each other's brains out and then care for each other, Spend so much time.">Dream good dreams>I can't waitPs. Tempted to post our lust, how i made you come 7 times in a row last we saw each other. The way you yearned for me to take you in every way. Maybe ill post another time. If you need a reminder, you have our discord.
>>35032928Did someone delete the lyrics?
you only pretended to love me to potentially afford that flat.
>>35033002She really fucked you up, huh?
Maria, here's what God told me tonightI go out walkin'After midnightIn the moonlightJust like we used to doI'm always walkin'After midnightSearching for youI walk for milesAlong the highwayWell that's just my wayOf saying I love youI go out walkin'After midnightOut in the starlightJust hoping you might beSomewhere walkin'After midnightSearching for me
Fight the future.
>>35033079No need. God keeps his promises and follows through with his word.
Let them try and stop me
>girl asks about my Halloween art project>show it off>really likes it, impressed and giving praise>tell her thanks, ask her if shes got any plans for Halloween>immediately stops talkinggreat ok thanks manlol just say you fucking hate me next time and save us both the trouble
People fear what they cannot understand
Self-important larping faggot
>>35033024yeah.. i should be used to it by now
It's nice to talk about a shared hobby without being accused of cheating or disrespect of some kind.
>>35033111Barriers exist to be broken
>>35033139either we fuckin, or im fuckin.Cosby gang
>>35033146Oly moly
The saddest thing is, I think, that if you showed up in a few years a changed man, having become honest and empathetic, I'd probably open my heart to you again. I kept placing my trust in you when you kept giving me reasons not to. I always wanted to believe the kind words, but they were always conditional on my having no needs or feelings, only serving yours, or they came before and after cruel words and actions.It doesn't really matter anymore - I don't.Never did get why you hated when I said that. Wasn't it what you wanted?
I'm going to protect and love. I won't let you spread your harm to another. You've already gotten away with such jarring cruelty. If you've any sense or grace in you, you'll do what you wrote and become a ghost.
>>35033163pathetic doormat, stand up for yourself faggot
Love was all a performance for you, shallow of any true action, thought, feeling. You thought marriage meant somebody would perform too. Actors on a screen, playing the role.
>>35033182Kek, thanks. Yeah. You're right. Not just me I have to stand up for anymore either.
>>35033098People wish for justice until they receive it.>>35033104Fight!
I suppose I thought that, if they could just wake up one day and see how much abuse I endured for them for faith of them...stopping that and learning true love, that everything would be ok and that that would be appreciated.
>>35033163Don't be an idiot. Narc never loved you. Move on. There's so much more you could have in life that that pos
>>35033194I have faith in God that he makes it right with her and I, not restoration, but rememberance and recognition. There's enough he told me that has yet to unfold. As well as things that look one way but are really another that is in our favor.
>>35033163if my person said this after having thrown me away because of not meeting conditionals in time they would need to accept the connection between us has been reset. For me they said I did what I wanted, but they also did what they wanted multiple times where I had to accept.
>>35033261No. Reset is narc attempt at escaping accountability without change his ways. You are casting blame on the victims and narc gaslighting and guilttripping. Shows she made the right decision dumping your ass
>>35033263>victims and gaslightingyou don't know shit on the situation man do not reply.
>>35033269Literally do. And you are a narc pos. Rot.
>>35033271Alright you know everything, do you know why the reputation is reset? How would you like to be discarded then treated like we are together shortly afterward, you can continue to call me a narcissist but at least substantiate it.
>>35033277Already did earlier. Theres been a long history of your bullshit as well, years now that never needed to happen.
>>35033285List it, Otherwise you are dismissed as schizobabble who frames every post to your situation.
>>35033290I dont need to because i already have. She knows as well so I leave it to her to cut your rot out.
>>35033305You must be the one who jumps at the shadow cast by the letter C.
I really just want to know 4 things 1) do you like hurting me?2) why do you manipulate me?3) when did you start hating me?4) how do you not see the hatred seeping out in every interaction you're not masking?Sometimes it feels like you push my buttons so I do leave you. You probably want the "doting loving husband divorced by cruel evil woman card"Then it's like why should you ever get what you want? I'd play your game but I'm not evil like you
>hands fucked up for years>told to change lifestyle>literally already stopped every hobby ive ever done basically and only work nowwhat the fuck am i supposed to do just run and watch tv all day? im bored out of my fucking mind
ok I see your storiesout there having funI just wish I could be there with you
>>35033312The ad hominem fallacy occurs when someone chooses to attack the person making an argument instead of addressing the actual argument itself. They refuse to engage with the issue that was brought up, and instead discredit the speaker by focusing on their personal traits, emotions or past behavior. As a result, they shut down the discussion in its entirety.For instance, say you confront a narcissist about their manipulative behavior. With an ad hominem attack, they might respond with, "You're just insecure and bitter, that's why you're making such a big deal out of this."Rather than addressing your very real concerns, they attack you instead. As a result, your criticisms are rendered "irrational" in their eyes.Narcissists heavily rely on ad hominem attacks, largely due to the fact that they will avoid engaging with facts that threaten their self-image at all costs. By turning the discussion into a critique of the accuser rather than their own actions, they change the course of the conversation. They make the victim feel self-conscious about raising concerns, which ensures the narcissist remains in control.
>>35033320Dont expect an honest answer. He will only say what he thinks you want to hear to get his foot back in the door. >1)do you like hurting me?Just a way to manipulate your response, gaslight, guilt trip , trigger abandonment wounds and other traumas. Theres not honesty there with him. Asking these questions is pointless. >2) why do you manipulate meSo you spread your legs, make food, lose your autonomy and what makes you an individual and instead just a hole. >3) when did you start hating me?He never cared for you to begin with. Theres no love. Its always been a lie. Theres no point where it turned to hate. It was always a manipulative lie>4) how do you not see the hatred seeping out in every interaction you're not masking?He does. He knows what a pos narc he is. That hes a horrid person. Thats why he lied about who he is and copied others words repeating then to your without ever meaning them. He manipulated to isolate you, trap you, decieve you and so much more shit behavior. Its all trash. Wake up. Theres no good in him. Never was and never will be. Anything good you heard was him imitating another to get you to spread your legs. He never meant what the words meant. Not once.
>>35033365You bring up ad hominem yet deploy that from the start by attributing narcissist to me? By your logic you are the narcissist.
>>35033320>Sometimes it feels like you push my buttons so I do leave you. You probably want the "doting loving husband divorced by cruel evil woman card"What kind of logic is that? Who gives a fuck what he thinks or wants. Hes a narc pos. Theres two ways forward. You can do retarded logic like >Then it's like why should you ever get what you want? I'd play your game but I'm not evil like youStay with him and accept that he will never love you and will just continue his lies masking to manipulate you so you stay and spread your legs. At that point , if you stay, dont bother asking him to change or fix anything. You know its always been a lie. That is what you are accepting. So dont complain and let him hit your children, baby, harm you and worse as you age and rot away developing more traumas and mental issues from being around him. Or accept he lied to your. You fucked up and believed a narc. You knew you fucked up as well. You dug yourself into this grave. So cut him out completely and have a chance at a life with real love. Stop asking him questions, working it out. He was not real in the first place. There is no getting better because there is no truth to begin with. Or you
>>35033387>No uWhatever you say to me doesnt change the truth that she knows who you are now. Thats enough for me. Not dealing with your bullshit. I know who you are. So buzz off. You are not worth the effort to even argue with because there is no argument to be had. You are rot. Scum. Weasily. Conniving. Trash. Nothing to salvage or understand. Only avoid, cut out, ghost, block.
>>35033404Who am I then? You have yet to back up your claims.
>>35033409I already did and like I said. This is her deal. Best wishes she able to cut you out and find some way to be happy after you leached on her like a parasite to take all her promise, her future, her happiness and made her develop crippling anxieties and traumas all because you decided to manipulate her, lie to her to isolate her so she spread her legs and lost the life she could of had. A true love. Gone and lost to her because of you.
>>35033422>so she spread her legsyeah you are a schizo talking about someone else then. I am a virgin and my person was a virgin too. Have a good day calling everyone you come across accusing them of being this person of your imagination.
>>35033427You're not here much. That's Mike. I don't think he's a Schizo, he's just dumb.
>>35033429Your not here much >>35033427Is lying to manipulate perception. They are who I said.
>>35033435Nigga, YOU thought I was Colton like two or three times. I don't trust your judgement at all.
>>35033435>>35033439We are all Colton in the eyes of the judge.
Ahem>>35033365
>>35033422Is there no hope for me to have a true love after this? No one to hold me despite the wounds, the nightmares?
tried to off myself yesterday and now i gotta go clock in and work like nothing happened
>>35033492What stopped you from succeeding?
>>35028428Only matches i get on a dating profile is from cute single moms or women that want kids who are desperate in age range of 38. They had higher education tough, love me a wealthy wife lol.. how tf do you find women that don't want kids?. I'm a 31 yo guy, time is running out.
>>35033492You'll be okay anon, don't give up
Why did you endure the job you didn't like when all it did was make you channel resentment into the field and me?
>>3503358131 is young, dating apps are a hell scape, I'm 32 and I recently started dating someone from work. I lost my dad and my Ex in 2024 and i was in the same boat as you. Time is not running out you have 50+ years left on this earth, take your time the only people in a rush are those who can't handle being alone with their thoughts
>>35033681Is this for a guy?
>self isolation isn’t the answer!>but also i don’t want to have to be around youmake up your MIND girl
Yeah no get me out
I haven't had any alcohol in two years. It was destroying my life. But lately I don't even give a fuck. I just want to drink and blow my head smooth off. My son's bitch mother is useless and doesn't help with raising him at all. Takes advantage of me and my willingness to do what I need to do. Has never sent me a single dollar of child support, bought a clothing item, or helped fund his schooling. My current fiance is fucking insane. I think she has BPD. We have started physically fighting one another. We beat each other. I hate this shit. I'm so fucking tired. Tired of working two jobs. No fucking help from anyone. And I just have to white knuckle this shit forever because people literally depend on me existing and bringing money and food home.
Damn bro I'm happy
>>35033941can i get some
What the fuck is my problem? I'm seeing a psych soonish (hopefully!) but at this point I'm making myself crazy if I'm not already. I'm (narcissisticly?) obsessive in personal relationships to the point that I've sealed myself off from most close ties.
>>35033952Sure my trick is to meditate and rest up well. Don't overexert yourself. Be kind to everyone but don't fall in love
>>35033956(sorry mobile freaks tf out when i type and starts dragging the reply box 203939 feet to the right okay) unfortunately, this inability to be attached properly has probably cost almost all of my close relationships, and seems like it will again within the next year, at least for a while. I was obsessed with a girl who either loves my friend, or is simply faking it to get me to go tf away. I know it's unreasonable to be upset, I am not in control of what others do, but I still feel anger at imagining seeing their kids in 2~ years. I think this is the year I warm up to the idea that I'm in serious need of work AND I actually have to do the work.
I want you more I want you more I want you more I want you moreI want to eat your heart out
>>35033969hahahhahaha i say that but what have I done for the past few months? be sad and walk around? be unemployed? I have tried to not speak about this with friends, but i feel like i need to confess to them about this, though I worry it is only feeding the obsession more. I've been debating doing this for years honestly, and today can't be the day for several reasons, but I just...
>>35034019like I've truly made a mountain out of a molehill. I'm fairly certain what I've posted on this subject has gotten back to people irl, and that's probably a good thing. the explanation (though far too cruel to be fully true [?] ) coming to mind right now is that I lack some sort of proper maternal bond, due to my own actions. ugghhhhhhhhh my head hart
>>35033959>don't fall in loveimpossible
The highest form of obsession canibalism
>>35034012>>35034039don't touch the brain.
>>35034051Why? Are you using that?
>>35034058prion disease
relationships are shit, i'm going to blow my fucking brains out instead!!
Ha, hahahahhahaah. Already eh? What was that? Two days after abandoning me and blaming me for it? Ahhahaha how could I have been so stupid? Utterly repulsive. Mfw the dream was prophetic. God has a sense of humour. I’m aware that even my response here gives them what they want, but I’ll fall for the bait. Congrats.
God I am a retard. I will stop checking this website now. Hahaha. You could not script a worse ending.
>>35034060I'll just settle for the heart and blood then
>>35034155okay thumbs up emoji. iron overdose? >>35034099don't?
We both said horrible things to each other. Things we both would rather not know.Yet I'm the only one apologizing. I left that door open. You never came back. You still acted like you were being treated like the bad guy in the situation. I spelled it out for you. I am not going to humiliate myself for this. It's your fucking call.
>>35034187love overdose
Fuck off J, I know it’s you. Grow up.
Projection, gaslighting, DARVO, guilt trip again lol
Sometimes I think maybe I am the problem; too emotional, overlooking his best efforts, bitchy sometimes.Then I'm snapped back to reality when last night I'm carrying our one son, the diaper backpack, and helping our older son get candy. Then you run into your work friends and don't introduce us to eachother. Then you'd say I'm the problem because I didnt say anything. Why would I give you the satisfaction that any of your behavior even registers as bothersome.Too burnt out to even be bothered, but not oblivious.
Plus, I'm also preggo Well I made chicken pot pie so I'm happy
The only bad thing you said was the sex stuff. I can't be around you two if you're going to flaunt it that openly to hurt me. You are both adults and can do whatever with your bodies, just, dont include me in it please. I said and did many things, I can try and pretend I can semi justify it because I thought you were fucking with me, but that isn't an excuse. You going low, even in my imagination, does not justify me doing the same. I think I always avoided you in part because you never put up with the destructive habits Id created to 'defend' myself. I'd like to say that it was because I wanted to be healthier before I plunged in, but obviously that wasn't the case. I think I was too scared or unwilling (linked?) to start examining myself in a way that was productive instead of endlessly ruminating on the same shit and calling it a day. I'm not going to kill myself, and it's going to be pretty hard for you to kill me. Don't worry about it anymore.
>>35034298Leave that loser,baby, ill treat ya right
Not fair? Nigga, you're the only one deciding you don't feel like making the drive save for one random day a week lol.
>>35034270Schizo hours have begun
>>35034284All words learned from a YouTube video, here's a cookie. ●
I am a shell of a person, am empty human, but I made myself that way. Refusing to accept love eventually makes you unable to produce it even for yourself. I see that now. By treating myself as unworthy I am devaluing others. Loving someone like that must feel like watering a fake plant, useless and you feel fucking dumb for doing so.
>>35034356I know someone like this and I’ll continue showering her with love every time she comes back because of what she did for me. Chances are you’re worthy of love too, and there’s someone out there who’ll do that for you. Best of luck finding them.
>>35033734For a girl.
It's retarded, but I do still care. That doesn't translate to giving you another chance to hurt me though. Can't keep appealing to empathy and respect that isn't there.
You didn't like my ultimatum because it wasn't permission & access to continue disrespecting and harming and abusing.
>>35034408>>35034418I know.
>>35034420If only just knowing was enough to fix things, huh?
>>35034387what did she do for you to make you love her that much? obviously I'm not going to copy you or anything, I'm just trying to better understand
>>35034435it's the first step, but yes, I have been sitting on it too long. one must take action.
>>35034444They couldn't be bothered.
>>35034342its only 5pm it's too early
>>35034445That's unfortunate. It takes time but YOU can't wait forever for someone else.
>>35034449No, I can't. I couldn't keep opening myself and my charge to cruelty waiting and hoping.
The days I'm with you 24 hours are never enoughThe days I'm not with you 24 hours are way too many
>>35034437She doesn't know it, but she very near literally talked me down from the ledge the day we met.
>>35034465I miss feeling this way, but I think it was a trauma bond more than loving codependency.
Still don't get why you pretended to be so worried that I had killed myself that you had to rush over. Trying to rope me back in? Must have been disappointing to see me still breathing lol.
>>35034284If someone is a shit person, they're a shit person
All manipulation, huh. "Look how much I worry and care for you" while having wished for my death, wishing to kill me, and all the other things you did to break me down.
>>35034564I don't like condemning the person instead of the behavior. Foolish hope that they'll stop acting shitty if you just point out the damaging parts. But maybe you're right, and some people are just...shit.
mike and colton should both ditch maria and end up with each otherbros before hoes
>>35034579that's fucking gay
maria.... my moon!!!!
Wish I was someone's fuckin moon
The sun will be up for another twenty minutes. After which I am back on feral cat watch.
>>35034575I know, you want to give people the benefit of the doubt. And for a lot of people, you absolutely can. But patterns are patterns and if they don't change then you don't have to deal with them anymore.
>>35028428I feel myself gerting stuckLike every other day, its been like this for 10 years now, im growing oldYou probably heard about old anons still struggling to make it outIm starting to sound like them
>>35034622Feels like losing an important part of myself. The grief of cutting off an arm long-lost to gangrene I guess. Keeping it would have risked sepsis.
So, dear, no matter how we part, I hold you sweetly in my headAnd if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead
>>35034697Aww thats so sweet
I need to learn to be happy without you
>>35034446Never too early
Grateful to have this space to mourn. I need comfort, but have none.
The pain grows as the sun sets. It doesn't matter.
It appears he/she only reliably arrives in the morning.
>>35034270What? What I do?
It'll fade, sy least. Withdrawal as opposed to lifelong, compounding
That thought s comfort like hug cravrd
>>35019330damge done a kindness helping me yay away
I finally took a shit after nearly a week and they let me go home from the hospital. Amen.
I want to go home I want to be 5 years old again but even then I was snot held through my pain it just hadn't left its scars yet
Nothing but an acquisition to anyone I needed, a box ticked,
Or an accident, I huess
And if I opened myself to another, would they too tell me I deserved it?
But the truth is, you were never there, you won't ever be
>>35035316You're acting like that doesn't hurt me.
>>35035324I'm not sure that it does.
Do you ever feel hurt? Or do you just feel anger, and desire to harm? Was every tear a mockery? A manipulation, as you accused mine of being?
Just spent the my last 60 dollars on dry food and water. Derek bought ketchup and beer. I should have prepared while I had the chance.
As the night-time shined like day it saw my sorry faceAnd hair a mess but it liked me best that way
You feigned care for my hurting until it didn't get you what you wanted immediately, neglecting to account for the scale and frequency, or who caused it. It didn't matter. I didn't matter.
This purgatory, this indeterminate hell, it's the lowest I can stand.Somewhere, I know that there's lower I can be. But I know I can't stand that to be.This ghastly indetermination, it's the furthest reality I can realize.The lowest I can theorize, that's what is.Anything else is mere theory, sheer hope against the mercilessness of this place.You may hesitate to accept it, but it stands as sheer truth.There can never be enough hate in my heart for this place. No mortal heart can hold enough for the mortal plane.Isn't that ironic? That this plane will ever withhold that threshold of hate? Maybe that truth stands for the plane ever higher?Maybe Truth can never withstand enough Hatred to overcome that Threshold? It withstands the ever-present hatred against what is Real against the Unreal.Why did I get placed in the Losing position in this ever-present battle? I hold Sympathies to un-being in this dichotomy; existence is the error here.Yet, I Stand as is. Am I wrong? It doesn't feel so. I hope there's someone smarter than me that can make SENSE of it all. I post this in such vain hope. I doubt it is as such, I doubt ever more that I will take your Council. I pray that I do. I pray that you make Life make Sense. I pray beyond any and all Gods. PLEASE!!!!
The heat pad feels like love. Like comfort. Safer.
my girlfriend of 10 months broke up with me because I got hospitalized and broke my leg. she did it over text. wont pick up her phone. i am too shocked and confused to even know what to do anymore lol
I wish it was legal to kill people in a purge kind of way
It's crazy how much dog owners seem to be held hostage by their pets. When I go doorknocking, dogs start barking horribly loudly to the point where I can't bear to put up with it while standing outside. Inside must be hell, especially with 2 dogs that constantly aggravate each other. After that, the owner opens the door by a sliver while fighting with the dogs to keep them from coming out. The worst part of it is that they don't even seem to be happy with the situation. They look so exhausted by their dogs, like a battered wife in a marriage they can't escape from. I don't know why people do this to themselves.
Part of me wonders if people conspire to keep my life fucked up because they want to “save me” from smoking marijuana and sell their bullshit ideas about how much better off I am without it.
>>35035684uhhhhhhh maybe its time to stop smoking if your delusions are making you think that.
>>35035693It’s nothing to be surprised about. People are weird like that.
>>35035693Dickhead
>>35035712have you tried asking your mr roboto if paranoia is a symptom of cannabis use yet?
>>35035723What is it that u think i am paranoid about?
>>35035736that people are 'conspiring' against you to get you to quit weed? huh? I am admittedly a (former?) paranoid stoner who has gotten myself into my fair share of paranoid fantasies but... maybe cut down a bit.
>>35035748It’s not paranoia if there are legitimate reasons why I wonder this.
>>35035754what would you lose by cutting down a bit? I'm not talking about quitting totally. How much do you currently consume?
>get insomnia for like 3 weeks now>medication(above the table) no longer worksI feel like I'm fated to be tired and stressed in this current period of my life, but if that's the case then surely I'm expected to bear with it while actually making progress and acting properly, the problem is I'm not, i feel like I'm falling apart, it doesn't get that bad but i genuinely feel like a corner animal with a gun being pointed at me every 5 minutes or so for days on end, i always dodge by a hair but at this point i feel like i might die to the stress, it's too much, unless it's not much at all and my perception is warped, hard to tell, i hope i get help and i get fixed.
>>35035760I lose something that makes me feel better while life makes me not feel so good so as long as I’m able to use it I am going to. I’m not interested in disclosing how much I use.
>>35035772cutting down a bit won't hurt. cutting down even 20% has been like a 30%+ boost for me. if you don't understand what I mean by that, it's time to cut down bestie.>not interestedso you're smoking like a gram+ a day or hitting carts all the time. do you have tummy problems too?
>>35032337I didn't shit for like 11 days when I was sectioned I don't get how this is a big deal, I'm sorry you're in pain though. maybe having some GI chronic illness makes it easier desu
>>35035782I’ve cut down plenty times and there’s no need to use it less than I desire.
I mean no offense to youBut grow upWould you just grow up?
>>35035466lol what the fuck? i'm sure that wasn't the actual reason. but it is a cowardly thing to do at any rate and i'm sorry it happened anon.
>>35034149What happened?>>35034284At least you see it now>>35034567That doesn't excuse your manipion. You are doing this narc tactic >>35033365>>35034599Fuck off with your larp
>>35035830is there ever a valid reason for a partner to wish for the other ones death? am I misunderstanding?OH RIGHT YOURE A SILLY BOT TEHEE
>>35035668I've had friends with super well behaved dogs but usually their parents put a lot of money and time into obedience training, either with one on one trainers or through some type of dog school thing. A friend of mine had a puppy that she started taking to training classes so now that it's big it's not obnoxious or too much to handle. I think a lot of people view pets like a toy and don't realize they're animals that can and should be trained to some degree so they don't end up like how you described.
Sorrow fades, and there was never any regret.
I needed to leave to survive. Nobody could have endured such cruelties without radical change. Wish you had understood, but I'm free of even that now.
It's moot now to say, but I really did think we could work past it, if you had any inclination to.
I suppose I trusted you for far too long than was reasonable.
>>35036006>>35036004>>35035964>>35035795I am not worth the stress. I don't see myself as good for you and I don't see myself in a good light. So I just keep my distance, not because of anything you did. I am grateful to you because you seem to actually be straightforward. Don't waste your heart on me.
>>35036083I used to be called straightforward by them, I ended up never being good enough for them.
I'm trying to stay sober for the remainder of october, last drink was almost two weeks ago. I've been keeping myself busy in the meantime, but today I'm tired as fuck and decided to just go full chill, and now my mind keeps going back to thinking how nice it'd be to pop one open. Not just because of the "I've worked hard, and now I've got nothing that needs doing, why not" of it all, but because, so long as I'm sober, I might get bored and decide to do something productive and effortful anyway. So the temptation is me trying to commit to chilling out, like I've forgotten how to do it without a little help.
>>35036087It's not a question of whether you're good enough for me. But about whether I'm good enough for you. Am I enough? I don't think so.
>>35036113There was never any competition, you ended things and called it falling apart.
>>35036121I can see why you would see it that way. You want me to face this head on? I feel like I have a lot of work to do with myself. I cannot move how I want and how I feel I need to, to be in your life. This seems like an excuse, but it's a conviction of mine.
>>35036133By no competition I meant everyone is good enough for someone else, you kust make a choice to be there for them. For me I wasn't chosen in the end, I set a simple binding years ago with them that I wouldn't let go if they didn't let go. That year I wasn't chosen, and I promised myself to not be hurt an additional time any longer, we were to continue as friends but interactions only served to remind me we are close but I am not chosen. Maybe I could have repaired after then but I was broken after the third time this has happened.
>>35036145Your binding worked. I'm not an ideal person for a relationship. Which is why I'm so hesitant. Makes me feel like I'm not fit. I move too slow for anyone's taste, it seems, though.
>>35036156I moved too slow for their expectations as well, don't let that get you down and keep working toward a goal. If you mean physically conditioning can improve speed the same as any skill.
>>35035869Yes. If they are not who they say they are, lie, decieve, weasely conniving behavior, sneaking to look at phone, not respecting and wanting the other person to grow together and be who she truly is, cheating is instant kill
>>35035964Not true. Mine has a shit ton of regret and shame over the time we lost. She needs to do better with me so she doesn't lose our life together, my love.
>>35036133That means choosing time away. Show up and grow together. Commit or leave so I can give my love that was meant for you to another
>>35036166Not just physically but monetarily as well, but I appreciate your support.
>>35036249I understand, pretty much I was behind in every metric at 25, it took me until 30 to go from neet to employed in skilled work, I did it to try and live a life for them but the methods to succeed made them think I chose myself, when it was because I wasn't quick enough for them, you do shortest path solutions when given ultimatums. Money comes and goes, you can be back in line within a year of extreme saving with a half decent job, that might put in perspective on how 'behind' the average person is. What it is someone gets the idea of expectations by assuming must haves are met at all cost when reality is flexible, and serves only to stress themselves and you out until one or both of you break.
The flatness in your eyes should have scared me off on that first day. The vacancy as you sunk into your phone or the TV. You were dead inside already, and the signs were there. I ignored them.
Muốn cùng em hút chung điếu thuốc để khói mù cả Căng Chải
For someone who supposedly valued honesty so much, you sure did lie a lot.
You being called a vampire makes sense now. Other girls sensed it. That you were empty, and the emptiness drove you to feed on others, through any means necessary.
Punishing me, sinking your claws in, sneakily, manipulatively. You're not as subtle as you think.
What did I lie about?
>>35036249I have a career and own my home. I never fell behind. I'm ahead and very accomplished
>>35036424Weasily behavior is major ick
I thought there was something within you able to be saved. A boy, in need of love and understanding and vulnerability. I was wrong.
>>35036468I'd rather not be so vulnerable, but you knew that already. I'd rather cut the romanticism out of me.
>>35036472You led me to believe otherwise, told me otherwise.
>>35036468You can’t save anybody else. People can only save themselves.
>>35036403Liars love to project. Just broke things off with a girl who clearly never trusted me but lied about a whole lot of things during the short time we were together.
>>35036515In mutual love, respect, desire to understand and grow, you can save eachother, but not many people are able to do that, have the capacity.
You were cruel. Controlling, domineering, shaming. Only cared of your own image, and lied and destroyed mine to protect it. You wanted "fuck em all but us?" Yet only acted on "fuck em all but me"
I didn't want them poisoned that way, by the lack of empathy, by the entitlement...I didn't want them to grow up thinking that enduring pain and disrespect and losing yourself to survive it, was love. It wasn't.
Insanity plea isn’t worth the risk and it’s looking like the trial itself could last up to 18 months. It’s likely going to be a very long time before I get to have a normal life if ever and I’m considering giving up on life again. I don’t want to do this anymore.
>>35036500I meant it. Things got complicated when I felt like I was hounding you and I decided to not put all my emotion in it.
How dare you call her ruined. She would have been if she stayed.
>>35036605I didn't say she was ruined, I said she deliberately tried to hurt me. So it's not about being ruined. It never was.
I think this is the first time I got so depressed, it weakened my immune system enough to make me sick! I didn't even notice the early symptoms because everything was just making me cry throughout the day. Ah well, hopefully I'll recover soon, I've got things to do.
One day of drugging numbing boozing cruising won’t kill me, right?
Insufferable megalomaniac fggot
>>35036760Agreed
My Facebook account was hacked this morning, and I think people got it was twisted by what I meant. That someone has gone after people I knew, and family i care about. Thats what I meant, I wasnt really talking shit outside of one person.Now, my phone and Facebook told me that someone had accessed my account from richmond, va and tried a second time when I changed my password. Is this one sided grudge ever going to end? Theyre not going to find anything bad if thats what they're looking for.
>>35036856I wasnt talking shit about the other guy, it was more of an example of "this person means a lot to me, and i feel they may have gone after him too". Because they selectively found people that did mean something to me and separated them from me.
Why she still love me
>>35036760For what, bitch, sending a friend request? Jump off a building.
>>35036403Prove it
>>35036408Im sure none of you are total fucking dramacases
>>35036450No answer is an answer.
>>35036424My god you bitches are dramatic.
>>35036468Arent you so noble. Youre full of shit.
>>35036551When are you dumbshits going to learn. Selfish leading the selfish.
>>35036919I will.
My gums acheI want to sink my teeth into your soft and plump flesh
>>35036995What happened
I twisted myself into this and now I must untangle it. I have suffering nothing cruel or unusual enough to warrant any of this. It must have been intentional, but why? Why did I do that? I don't like it. Is that only because I suffer consequences from it? I do feel guilt and shame, I'm pretty sure at least, but maybe I was simply raised by good enough people that I tricked myself into believing it came from within. I think I was programmed into being a 'good enough' person that I was able to trick others and even myself. You can still see the "real me" poking through enough that I was always held at a distance. I feel I cannot step fully into being 'good' or 'bad' and being inbetween is just torment. If I must be alive, I need to find a way to make my torment productove for others.
>>35037006I'm sure you're not a psychopathic rapist at all.
>>35037085I'm only a rapistNone of that other shitThe only thing keeping me away from my target is the fact that I can't manhandle him into a remote cabin in the woods
>>35031539no one does that
