>screen goes black and white except for the color yellow>camera pans over to a flight of stairs with yellow markings>time slows down>inner monologue: "Hmm... Looks like I can use those stairs to get up">game pauses>pop-up appears on screen>"Yellow marks may indicate areas of interest">"Press any button to continue">"I better investigate those stairs"
>>750640885>cutscene triggered by mistake>you forgot your weapon upgrade behind you>you try to go back>'those stairs... I should see if there's a way up'>turn camera>camera snaps back to the direction of the stairs>'Hey! What are you doing retard soldier??? It's me Commander Retard, investigate those stairs! Over>try to walk backwards>'Those stairs are mission critical. It's possible they work like actual stairs. Go there and find out if they are real stairs or just an illusion. You can never tell until you get close. Over'>pause game, click on 'load' and attempt to load previous game>'there's no time for that now! I need to focus on these stairs. Commander Retard is right. They might actually be real, usable stairs I can walk on. I've no time to sit around now'
>Focus (on these yellow Stairs) M
>>750640885>"huh yellow stairs, what's going on with those yellow stairs">on-screen prompts pause game>"yellow stairs can be traversed up or down, hold the stick in the direction you want to traverse them">4 more screens of explanation somehow>new objective: investigate the stairs>game interrupted again by an explanation of how to use the journal>finally start moving toward stairs, have to walk since you're not allowed to run>"nice, just like the stairs back home">objective complete: investigated the stairs>achievement unlocked: stair apprentice>challenge unlocked: stairmaster, find and traverse 4 more sets of stairs to gain exp, credits, skill points, and bonus yellow points to spend at the yellow shop>game interrupted again to explain challenges>"huh wonder what other yellow things I can find">"press right stick to activate yellow vision">game interrupted again with a 10-slide powerpoint about yellow vision>can finally control my character>accidentally looking straight down at yellow stairs when I activate yellow vision>screen lights up like a fucking flashbang and blinds me for lifeThanks Sony, now I can't play vidya
>>750641759skill issue. should have focus'd anon
>Mission log updated>"I marked those stairs on your map for you"
>>750640885I'd better get an achievement if I manage to use the stairs.
>yellow visionyou did not beat the game
Activate stairvision to find the staircase to proceed.
>>750640885>start walking up the stairs>there's an invisible wall>"On second thought, I better not.">[ERROR: You must purchase the 'Buy This Goyim' DLC to continue past this point]
As a zoomer I appreciate features that make games accessible to me while I watch my streamer on my second monitor and doom scroll on my phone.
Thank her for her service.
>Sandy making a cringe post about how he invented the color yellow 35 years ago>"Hi Sandy, I hope you're well, however...."
>>750640885>players defend it because "it respects your time, players don't have to waste time figuring out the purpose of the stairs"
>>750641759You forgot:>using the controller, Retard Player can be made to walk in a direction by moving the left analog stick. Moving the left analog stick slowly, will cause Retard Player to walk. Pushing it to the furtherst point will cause Retard Player to run. Walking is a good way to traverse the indoor areas that will include obstacles such as: floors, stairs, doors, carpet, wooden floorboards, rooms and other difficult to move on areas. Running is a key element in getting from place to place in a quick, yet controlled manner. Running can allow Player Retard to move in such a way, that Player Retard will be faster than just walking. However, running takes up stamina. Stamina is the GREEN bar on the TOP LEFT of your screen. Keep an eye on it. When stamina is empty, Player Retard will lose the ability to run. This has serious impacts on the ability of Player Retard to move quickly. A key element of mastering the gameplay is to know when to WALK and when to RUN. Let's try this now.RUN to the stairs quickly in order to move across the ground to them with great speed. Then, when at the stairs, attempt to walk up them. You will notice as you are not running anymore and walking, your STAMINA will slowly refill. This concept of managing stamina is vital to navigating the world of Retard Land.If you ever need to find this tutorial again you can check in the TUTORIAL section by pressing the START button on the controller.Let's try that now. Press START then find the TUTORIAL menu and press X to replay this tutorial.>achievement unlocked: repeating pointless tasks 5 points
>>750642562Based self-aware zoomer.
>walk to far from the stairs>trigger cutscene where character goes up the stairs>go back to gameplay>invisible wall on stairs doesn't let you walk back
>>750642743>Join our discord server and sub to our youtube and tiktok channels to learn more about "Running"*TM
>>750642743>IGN reviewer rates the game 0/10 for being too confusing"REEEEEEEEE I keep pushing the stick to run and after a few seconds he just starts walking and all these stupid prompts keep saying I'm out of stamina! What the FUCK is stamina?! The game doesn't fucking explain anything! How was I supposed to know the green bar labeled stamina is my character's stamina?! That could belong to a boss or something! THIS GAME IS UNPLAYABLE!!!"
>NOTICE : xXxYellowFagboyLoverx67 has send you a coop request for [ Walk up Stair's ] Main Quest
>You have 3 Stair Points available.>Tap the Options button to open your Stair Tree.>...>Step It Up: 0/2 Stair Points>20 Stamina per second>Use your arms as well as your legs to ascend stairs more quickly.>Are you sure you want to unlock Step It Up?>You Have 1 Stair Point Available.IGN:>Diaspora: Starsworn Prophecy is a moving and engaging experience that has something for everyone. 8.5/10
>Shoot the Yellow Stair Demon until it diesunc pls
>>750642619sex
Life's hard for a Climber... but we don't have to think about the Steps or the Railies here at the Landing.>30 seconds laterTen years ago, when the Landing burned, I swore I'd never climb a single flight again for as long as I lived... but things have changed.When Stepcorp started putting out hits on stair-sensitives, I knew what I had to do. Those petty feuds with the Steppers and the Handrail Crew would have to wait for another day, because I knew that they knew that I knew that we'd all have to do the thing. And we'd have to do it well. I know Don Climacus would have wanted this for us all.
>climbed hundreds of staircases>grinded max stairs experience points>unlocked entire stairs skill tree>got all stairs achievements>find escalator>"you can't use this yet, come back once you've learned the right skill"
>>750643798>that part is removed from the chinese version
>>750642619>(You) play as the yellow paint gremlin putting all these "helpful "markers in a dungeon>you get seen by anyone, NPC adventurers or monsters alike, it's game over>gain player progression when NPC adventurers utilize the environs/objects you have marked and complete the dungeon>or an alternative objective of indirectly hindering NPC adventurers instead (i.e. lead them to traps)>player progression is in from of a level-up system or currency for stats/cosmetics/QoLsPROOMPTERS, CLONE MY GAME IDEA!
>>750642619SEX SEX SEX
>>750643898I posted an idea a lot like this when this yellow paint discourse first started, and I pictured the player controlling a Yellow Paint Man made of yellow paint as they did this.I think it would be fun if gameplay revolved around you constantly dripping yellow paint and having to take very deliberate paths or clean up after yourself.I wouldn't put progression aids in the game and would just make it an arcadey puzzle platformer game with, say, 30 levels.
>>750643898Would boughted
>>750643798If you disable the power you can temporarily turn the escalators into stairs to get around that skill requirement.
>>750644212>Patch 1.0.1>removed exploit that enabled players to get past the elevator requirements
>>750643898And what's used to guide you, green paint?
>>750642562You should hang yourself.
>>750643898>you get seen by anyone, NPC adventurers or monsters alike, it's game overThis bit needs refining, something like it's only game over if you are seen carrying the paint set and/or in the act of painting stuff. Otherwise, standard dynamics apply (NPC adventurers would see you as hostile; dungeon monsters would either stare at you curious/suspicious for a few seconds or just ignore you)
>hulk can sneak in the tall grass to avoid detection from the guards>remember! being caught is a game over, but hulk can use his stealth multi-takedown to get rid of pesky guards in certain areas if he remains hidden
>>750642619Holy sex SEXSex with the short stack goblin SEXO COM A GOBLINACUMMING SO HARD THAT SHE'S NOW PERMANENTLY DRIPPING WHITE PAINT
>>750640885>head to the stairs>start climbing>screen fades to black>cutscene shows character running up the stairs
>>750644667>5 seconds loading time>cut-scene starts>camera moves for about 5 seconds before you can even see the character>walk up stairs for 3 seconds>camera moves for about 5 seconds before character leaves screen>cut-scene ends>5 seconds loading time
>>750644634>GOBLINAduenda del sexo*
hmm
>>750643898Make it friendslop so it meets modern market demands. Call it: Tard Wranglers
>>750640885They need to make those playtests where they get people with room temperature IQ to play the game and see if they can figure out how to continue playing.Or else you get situations like the Carnival Night Zone barrel in Sonic 3, or the Dwemer Puzzle Cube from Morrowind.
>>750642170>Achievement unlocked:>"What goes up...."
>>750640885>stairs reappear as common enemy im the next building
Wait a minute, those stairs.
>>750646921That barrel was bullshit because it contraindicates existing mechanics and gives sonic mind control powers and changes your controls to controlling an object, not sonic
This trend of sarcastic complaints tells me the widest gaming community has graduated to a higher level of gaming, good it was the point of the training, see them cast their baby shoes in a tantrum, they are ready to play slightly more complex videogames now. The normalbabies of vidya required teaching. One step at the time anonymous.
>>750641759>>"yellow stairs can be traversed up or down, hold the stick in the direction you want to traverse them">try to walk down stairs>hold the stick down>character just walks up them towards the camera
>>750649226A lot of tutorials and advice in videogames and beyond is butchered like this so it is realistic. Most people just skip it so they don't notice.
23 year old game. Had fucking yellow god light showing the retard players where to go. Yellow paint is nothing new.
>>750650171>
I actually want this in a game, just to mock all the game designer
yellow thread
>>750651476>what is stanley parable ADVENTURE LINE™let's just say a funny idea alone does not dissuade clinical idiots
>>750640885reminds me of this one
>>750643898>Every level also includes an increase in cup size.
>>750651476Will you get a goblin harem if you manage to outsmart them?
>>750651971>>what is stanley parable ADVENTURE LINE™Humorously enough I don't think it was even the goal of that line.The point was to drive the idea of a clearly linear and restless "adventure" -without choices- which is the main appeal of the narrative.
Wait a minute, that card...
o, my yellow
BIG
>>750656295YELLOW
>>750657282SLOP
>>750640885I'm pretty good at this part, I've beat it several times without summons and only gotten stuck a few times.
>>750659264they have walkthroughs on youtube
Ayo
>>750644373>apply to join game's official discord>almost denied but explained I didn't know a deluxe version of the game existed so was let in with a warning to buy deluxe within 7 days>make post gently asking how escalators with no power are different from stairs>dev responds "Because they just are you fucking idiot. If they were stairs they wouldn't be called escalators, how fucking stupid can you be?">10 more paragraphs of the dev insulting me before telling me to kms>decide to post an apology>rest of the dev team all respond with paragraphs of insults>get banned for life with mod message saying "DO I MAKE MYSELF FUCKING CLEAR">try to play game later, my console and account are banned for life>go on subreddit and ask for help>more insults and endless downvotes before getting banned>reddit mods subpoena my ISP and doxx me>swat team kicks in my door at night>beaten and detained and taken somewhere with a bag over my head>end up in a warehouse with a set of yellow stairs and a stationary escalator>forced to lick and bite the steps of each one so I could "learn the difference">told to go up and down each, have to say "stairs" or "escalator" each time>accidentally messed up once and get thrown on the ground and had the muzzle of an M16 shoved into my mouth>beaten and tazed within an inch of my life before being forced to start over>finally free to go after 20 hours>taken to the middle of nowhere and thrown out on the side of the road naked>die of dehydration>journos cover the whole incident and unanimously support what happened to me>endless memes about how retarded I was for thinking powered off escalators function like stairs>trump makes an official statement calling me a retard and supporting my death>rest of my family gets doxxed and systematically hunted down to cleanse the gene poolGamers are truly the most oppressed people on earth
>>750640885THESE STAIRS GO UP!!
>>750651923>instead of "video gamey" guides that can exist without being obtrusive and bizarre we should canonically have an alcoholic with the shakes carry around a bottomless paint bucket that is comically overfilled
>>750646921It's not even that the testers are stupid, it's that if anyone gets lost anywhere for a second, it's seen as a mistake instead of part of playing a game. Because getting stuck = friction and friction means lost business.
Why don't devs just put more guidance options at the start as default instead of having the toddler mode on by default and hiding the options to turn them off deep into the accessability settings(if there is a toggle at all)?
>>750662787That's some top notch ashkenazi victimhood porn.
>>750665373i get extremely fucking annoyed at how fried peoples attention or aversion to any kind of friction there is. I cant stand watching some frens play a game, get stuck and give up in less than 10 minutes with the famous tagline>this game is fucking stupidmaybe its not the game buddy. I think there are a lot of people who play video games that do not enjoy games in the traditional sense at all
>get a slut in your bedroom>she undresses and spreads her legs>>camera zooms in to her crotch>>time slows down>>INNER MONOLOGUE: WAIT A MINUTE, THAT HOLE...>>Commanding officer on the radio: PRIVATE ANON YOU ARE APPROACHING THE VAGINA>>FLASHING TUTORIAL MESSAGE: TO INTERACT WITH A VAGINA SIMPLY TOUCH IT WITH YOUR HAND, MOUTH OR DICK>>CHALLENGE UNLOCKED: NO LONGER A BOY - INTERACT WITH 3 VAGINAS>>slut: I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY YOU KNOW>>try to turn away>>Camera forces you to turn back>>All commands stop working>>slut: IT'S PLAY TIME SWEETIE>>Controls are frozen>>AGGRESSIVE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR>>"ANON??? ANON??? YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN YOUR PILLS!!">>"PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!! REMEMBER THE LAST TIME!!">>Random flash forward>>*Grandma feeding you pills*>>"he got distracted playing with his anime pillow again">>MISSION FAILED>>LOAD THE LAST SAVE?>>YES>>NO SAVES FOUND>>NEW GAME?
