THIS SUMER
One last job?
Mesopotamia will never be the same.
COMING to a theater near UR
he is the greatest copper merchant
***lyre scratch*** yep, that's me
>*Baba O'Riley by The Who starts playing*
THIS "EPIC" TALEWILLBETOLD
starring elliot page
>>224017409I wonder what the redacted parts say
>bearded guy reading scrolls in temple>drops feather>oh my marduk, it's gonna be>A PERFECT FLOOD>smoke on the water FIRE IN THE SKY
*Gets hit in the balls with a tablet**Dog walking into a tavern covers face with paw*>YEOWCH!!!>Right in the...copper maker...
>>224017480Something not very nice about nubians
>>224017480Proto-antisemitism
>>224017409IN A WORLD....ONE MAN....SETS OFF FOR ADVENTURE
GIRUGAMESH!
>>224016984He was a better scammer than Indians
>>224017031kek
ONE MAN......BETWEEN TWO RIVERS
…but not all is as it seems on planet Ki
>>224019363>Attack of the space jews
Coming to a fertile River Valley near you
>>224017305>He's right behind me, isn't he?
>character gets hit in the groin
The Case of the Celluloid KaliOr The Ancient Mayan Mind Control Film
Good thread
>>224020106"Oooo... right in the Rosetta Stones!"
>>224016984I'm putting together a team
>>224016984Actual quality post. 10/10
>>224017409What an absolutely fucking retarded written language. Like what were they thinking? I can't imagine trying to pass off such scribble as text.
>>224017480save yourself, kill the jews
>>224016984BTW. Once Enki or Ea dies, forgot which one, I am going to fuck all you faggots up.
>>224016984You're probably wondering how I got here
>>224020517If you found conditions so distasteful here on planet Earth, why did you stay?
THE STORY THAT STARTED TIMENOW COMING TO THE BIG SCREENMARK YOUR CALENDARS
>>224016984>we'll sell you the whole cushion>but you'll only need the edge
>>224018603>Dog walking into a tavern covers face with pawkek
I've actually been watching a buncha videos about ancient Bible and middle eastern societies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHSg9NPPRuw
And the nominees for best ‘Best Supporting Deities in a Creation Myth’Itzama, ‘Spirit of Early Mist and Showers’Ixchel, ‘The Spider Web, Catcher of Morning Dew’. Ixtahdoom, ‘She Who Spits Out Precious Stones’ Ahpuc, ‘The Destroyer’And the winner is… Ahpuc, ‘The Destroyer’!!!> the crowd explodes in an uproarious death whistle as death dogs skewer and tear their throats and limbs with ravenous obsidian teeth
so when are the annunaki coming to get all this gold we mined for them?
Somehow, our age of stone is coming to an end.
>>224021148THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGES OF AREEES
>>224017321You're thinking of Teenage Wasteland.
Or shit, probably Taurus. Gemini?
>>224019363May I see their mines?
>the dr. irving finkel cameoKINO
I'm sick of Ea Nasir jokes. You can't mention the bronze age in any way without getting spammed with them. It was funny at first but its been like a decade now
I've been checking this Bronze Age stuff and shit is wacked, yo. Didn't even know that El, the creation God from Canaan, was also seen as Crono/Saturn by the Greeks and Romans. They're basically the same god. The people back then were also all seeing their own deities as Herakles/Hercules, which is crazy,It's like some Avengers type shit.
No one cared who I was until I put on the mask.
>>224016984WILL AGA-ITHU PAY FOR HIS 4 CUBITS OF BREAD?
Enkidu......go easy on the dates, big guy
>>224022241this nigga finna prolapse fuckin his bootyhole with a whole tree
>>224020469this looks like the Asterix comics wtf
>>224022198I think it's easy to draw the conclusion these civilisations influenced each other and that the Greeks, never mind the Romans, were among the last to arrive at the party. This Potnia Theron motif/pose is spread all along the coast of the Mediterranean all the way to the times before Babylon. It's more like Herakles was inspired by the Phoenician Melqart, then the cult of Melqart being influenced back hundreds of years later. Quite fascinating really.
Crossover you didnt expecthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toraku_3bWw
>>224022329There is nothing new under the sun.
>>224022198>>224022348Every religion's main deity being a storm god is pretty cool. YAHWEH was originally one. So was Odin through Perun before that myth transformed and split into Odin/Thor.
UDREEEEH
>>224020491filtered
>>224022545Eh, it's not really true, but main deity is usually connected to the skies. In Egypt main deity represented sun, not storm god. There are some curious parallels between Indo-European and Middle Eastern storm gods.
>>224020491that's what you get. they were trying to carve their thoughts into fucking stones
>>224022291Dude you had HOW MANY?!>No one told me they were macerated!!!
>>224022545Just a minor correction. Slavic, Germanic, and Baltic pantheons are distinct, coordinate branches of the Indo-European family. The Germanic Odin and Thor did not descend from the Slavic Perun.Furthermore, in comparative Indo-European mythology, Perun is the exact cognate and mythological counterpart of Thor/Fjörgyn/Perkūnas, NOT Odin.The original Proto-Indo-European (PIE) had a dedicated Thunder/Oak God called Perkūnos (the striker of the oak/rock).This root produced the Slavic Perun, the Baltic Perkūnas, the Vedic Parjanya, and in Old Norse it survived as Fjörgyn (the mother of Thor!) and in Thor's epithet as Þórr (from the Proto-Germanic Þunraz, meaning "Thunder").Odin has zero etymological or structural connection to Perkūnos, so he Odin never had anything to do with Perun.Etymologically, Odin (from the Proto-Germanic Wōdanaz, Old English Wōden, Old High German Wotan) derives from the Proto-Indo-European root wāt- ("divine/ecstatic fury, poetic inspiration, trance, possessed mind"), cognate with Latin vātēs ("seer, prophet") and Old Irish fáith ("prophet/seer"). Which makes Odin essentially the Germanic version of the Greek Ares (Roman Mars).
HOW YOU LIKE DEM FIGS?
>>224022725It was clay
>>224022872They got a lot fucking done so why don't you appreciate how they managed to write a cultural fucking motherboard in a slab of wet dirt?
>>224022849Ironically, the original PIE Sky Father was Dyḗws Patēr, which when it comes to the Proto-Germanic people making the same deity Tīwaz (Old Norse Týr, Old English Tīw, thus giving us Tuesday). Týr is the exact Germanic cognate of Zeus. Though in Greek religion, Zeus (Dyḗws) absorbed the role of the thunder-wielding striker, literally stealing the PIE Perkūnos' (or Thor) thunder.In the earliest Germanic strata (and when Tacitus described them), Tīwaz was the central sovereign god of legal assemblies, justice, and honorable single combat.Between the 4th and 8th centuries, the Germanic world experienced centuries of violent migratory warfare, constant warlordism, and the collapse of the Roman frontier. In a society dominated by roving war-bands (comitatus, drótt), petty kings, oath-bound retainers, and violent conquests, the calm, legalistic, honorable god of the assembly (Týr) was not enough.Thus, Odin eclipsed Týr at the top of the aristocratic pantheon. Týr was relegated to losing an arm to Fenrir, while the peasant farmers continued to pray to Thor for rain and crops. Odin became the god of kings, poets, and aristocratic raiders, an elevated kóryos patron who became the Allfather.It's as if Ares/Mars rose to be the top dog in the Germanic pantheon.
>>224022900Calm down Sargon
>>224017083>screen changes to negative colours>”until he wasn’t”
>>224022957You haircut makes you look like a Mohenjo-Daren
>>224022952I can see why the idea caught on
>>224022980>Mohenjo-DarenWhat did they mean by this
>>224023007We're they're not going to jerk it to the Venus of Willendorf, they're not Neanderthals
>>224022952Sure thing Hansdeep Nigelwong
I kekd
>>224023007this must have pissed women off so bad'you've been spilling your seed in front of the fertility idol again, haven't you!'>I swear I haven't, this never happens to me!
>>224022952Theres evidence that the obscure god Ullr had far more importance in ancient scandinavia, because there are a shitload of places named after him all over sweden (such as ullared, home of the hypermarket gekås)
>>224022980Fuck you Asurbanipal
>>224023007
>>224022997It's actually almost the exact same dynamic that happened when the Greek Ares became the patron deity of Rome as Mars.In the Greek world, Ares was deeply mistrusted. The polis was terrified of the unhinged, berserk slaughter he represented since he was the embodiment of bloodlust, blind frenzy (lyssa), and factional slaughter that tore civil order apart. Basically the wolf losse inside the herd. In the Iliad, Zeus openly tells him he is the most hateful of all the gods on Olympus, and Athens essentially walled him off on the Areopagus while giving civil, tactical, and strategic victory to Athena. Ares was the wild, unruly kóryos that never grew up to defend the hearth.When you cross the sea to early Rome, the societal need inverted completely. The Romans weren't an insular city-state clinging to the precarious balance of a democratic assembly, they were a border agrarian settlement under constant existential siege by Latins, Sabines, Etruscans, and Samnites. In that harsh survival landscape, the fierce martial drive couldn't be discarded as a shameful vice, it had to be sanctified as the primary civic virtue.Thus Ares went from being the chaotic butcher of the Greeks to become Mars Pater ("Father Mars"), the sober guardian of boundaries, the defender of the citizen-soldier's homestead, and the direct biological sire of Romulus and RemusJust like Odin rose above the legalistic, peacetime assembly-god Tīwaz/Týr when migrating warlords and roving retinue bands (comitatus) needed a patron of violent conquest, Mars eclipsed the abstract, distant sky-father to become the beating heart of Roman civic identity. By the time of Augustus, he was enshrined right at the center of imperial ideology as Mars Ultor ("Mars the Avenger"), the destructive, terrifying wolf-god of the wild transformed into the supreme bedrock of the state.And then, ironically, Mars and Odin went to war with each other.
>>224016984JARED LETOISASHURBARNIPAL
>>224017480Gilgamesh was in the Epstein files (as Epstein personal enemy because Gilgamesh RULES!!!)
>>224020491Brainlet unable to recognize the brilliance of cuneiform in a time before paper.
>>224022952And in the semitic Levant (Ugarit/Syria/Canaan) Baal/Hadadl (Baʿlu Haddu), the storm deity that resides on Mount Zaphon (Mount Casius), brandishes clubs fashioned by Kothar-wa-Khasis, unleashes lightning bolts, and battles the Sea (Yam) and the serpent Lotan (the Levantine Leviathan). When Greeks settled near Syria and Cilicia, they immediately syncretized Baal with Zeus Casios.Or Nergal (and his avatar Erra), the lord of the underworld, war, scorched heat, fever, and plague. In Hellenistic times (in places like Palmyra and Hatra), Nergal was explicitly translated into both Ares and Herakles.Then you've the whole Aphrodite/Freyja/Morrígan = Ishtar/Inanna/Astarte/Anat.Essentially the Bronze Age Avengers.
>>224017480GIRUGAMESH
>>224022141It's been funny for 3800 years you can wait another decade or two
>>224023120>SHE WAS ONLY 4,000 YEARS OLD, YOU SICK FUCK!!
>>224020491Straight cuts in clay are the easiest.
>>224021073AI slop.
>>224023137>>224023265Brilliant stuff, man. Thanks for sharing.Any word on the astrologic Age of Taurus -. Age of Ares -> Age of Pisces -> Age of Aquarius development and it's meaning to the people who observed those types of things?
>>224022650Yeah, but they had the Nile, so a storm god wasnt needed in their society
>>224023530When your damn cosmos operates on a river tide so you have to scavenge around in silt looking for parts of your boyfriend's corpse every night or the sun doesn't come up
Is it out of the question that the Ancient Egyptians simply looked at the stars, and planned their Pyramid formations in the image of a constellation? Has anyone ever thought of that?
Just for fun, cuz i like ancient stuff too...Apparently the oldest story of mankind is of the 7 sisters. One va wished and some tales came back, but there is a constellation with wide soread societies all calling it the same thing. Why? Cuz the story began before they all separatedThe indigenous from... maybe. Ew Zealand have a ither story that predates everything about a god who woke uo or something. They were explaining a volcano eruption and the after effects, and the story stayed the same for thousands of years, and even checks out with some water valleys and stones
>>224021073Same. Its crazy how from the very first civilizations there was a constant state of war, generally about forcing people to pay taxes and revolting about paying taxes.
Sorry guys you're going to see me everywhere posting this stuffhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3LZFiYMj0wYou know some anons really enjoy it
>>224023571yes, it is out of the question
>>224023776Oh, okay then.
>>224023491The ancient peoples who tracked the night sky were keenly aware that the celestial mill was slowly grinding backward.During the Bronze Age, the spring equinox did indeed rise against the stars of Taurus. For agrarian societies across Sumer, Egypt, and Crete, the celestial Bull inaugurating spring mirrored earthly fertility, wild aurochs reverence, and sovereign deities like the Canaanite "Bull El," the Egyptian Apis, and the Minoan bull cults. When precession gradually shifted the vernal point into Aries, the celestial marker changed, and the Babylonians formally recognized the Ram as the start of the zodiac, Egypt's New Kingdom elevated the ram-headed Amun-Ra, and Levantine pastoral religion heavily integrated spring lamb sacrifices and the blowing of the ram's horn (shofar).The moment this astronomical drift became an explicit mystery cult occurred in the Hellenistic and Roman era. When Hipparchus mathematically measured precession around 127 BCE, it sent shockwaves through ancient philosophy: if the sphere of fixed stars was moving, an unseen force had to be governing the entire cosmic axis. Thus, the Roman cult of Mithras turned this discovery into theology. The central Mithraic icon, Mithras slaying the Bull (Tauroctony), was an astral map of precession, celebrating a cosmic god whose power transcended the heavens, ending the Age of Taurus and turning the cosmic gears toward the next era.By the 1st century CE, as the equinox slipped toward Pisces, early Christianity naturally absorbed that ambient sky-languag and so the fish (Ichthys) became the primary underground symbol of the faith, with the apostles being cast as "fishers of men," baptism being framed by Tertullian around believers being "little fishes born in water," and texts speaking of the culmination of the current aeon (age).
>>224023874ExcellentMan you're cool, do you post, write or publish anywhere?
>>224022650Egypt near the Nile had absolutely god-tier comfy climate. No wonder they never bothered to invent a scary storm god.
>>224023889Nah, i just love history, specially comparative mythology. A good channel to pay attention is this one:https://youtu.be/-FMFsITOqy4
>>224023929I'm too fucking white for that shit man I can be in England and gloomier environments until the AC is invented, that's about it
>>224022348Read The East Face of Helicon if you want to trace this influence
>>224023944A joke, then'Detective, it appears to be a case of child cannibalism, what father would do this?' Detective, 'Disgusting. Rings of Saturn.'
>>224023459Yeah. I dislike the AI slop he puts in his videos. Some ones he releases with "(no AI)". Still. I like his videos. He does his research. He also has Bible History videos. He reminds me of a teacher from Catholic school with all the references he makes. Also some of the stuff my aunt who got a theology degree would talk about. He's a non-denominational convert, but he knows his shit.
>>224023983Good one.I once fell down a rabbit hole, trying to better understand the origins of the idea of sacrifices. It is a super interesting topic.
"They've hacked the code for the next eclipse!""Which one?!""ALL OF THEM!"
>>224020106
Get you one of these, put it on your coffee table, and when you have guests, just open it and start nodding like you're understanding a really good story. If they ask you if you're actually able to read that, 'I'm mystified by the way the youth here almost kills death, who is old and weak, by throwing a magic object'>>224024006One way or another sacrifices did serve the function of blood-tax towards the religious class which both cemented their authority and established their necessity to the public (being that these societies were in fact run by oracles and other religious writers from any range of true seer to cynical manipulator imaginable. Can't really go without a priest back then, this 'systemically have rich kids sit under the stars until they glean how reality works, so we can know what the fuck we are doing' business was really effective and did rise tribes to empires)
>>224024032In cuniform priest
>tfw kept shapeshifting into goofier shit to avoid paying my universe taxes until i got caught and now i'm stuck as a gay frog
best thread on the board right now
>>224023007w/ Zendaya as....
>>224019363Why couldn't they just make it?
>>224022650>>224023530>>224023556>>224023929The premise that Egypt never bothered to invent a scary storm god because of the comfy Nile climate isn't that accurate. Egypt did not lack a scary storm god. In fact, they had one of the most terrifying, ambiguous, and prominent storm gods in the entire ancient world. I'm talking about my nigga Seth (Setesh/Sutekh).The difference lies entirely in how their hydrology shaped their theology. In the Levant, Anatolia, and the Proto-Indo-European world, survival depended on seasonal rainfall falling from the sky. Therefore, the storm god whether Canaanite Baal-Hadad, Hittite/Hurrian Teshub, Vedic Indra, or Greek Zeus, was cast as the supreme provider, the rightful king who rides the clouds and slays the devouring serpent of drought or salt water (like Yam, Illuyanka, Vritra, and Typhon). In Upper Egypt, though, agriculture did not rely on rain as you all pointed out. it ran on the predictable annual inundation of the river bed (Hapi and the green, fertile body of Osiris).But there rainstorms, it is just that rainstorms in the Nile Valley were rare, violent, and accompanied by blinding sandstorms (haboob). That means flash floods that washed away mudbrick villages. Because rain was erratic and destructive rather than life-giving, the Egyptian storm god could not become their cool civic king. Instead, Seth was the personification of disruption, thunder, barren red desert sands (deshret), foreign lands, and raw brute violence.It's as if Zeus had become their main antagonist in that part of the world, though there would be moments where their pantheon would team up, like when battling Apophis (Apep) during the so called Nightly cycle. When the Canaanite Hyksos dynasty ruled northern Egypt from Avaris during the Second Intermediate Period, they took their Levantine storm god Baal-Zapho, recognized him immediately in Seth and elevated Baal/Seth to the supreme deity of the Delta.
>peasant finishes building his mud-brick house in a hot sunny day>looks proudly at it>freak downpour happens>house is no more>sun shines brightly again>peasant slowly turns his head at the screen
>>224024199cool stuff
>>224024291I agree, it is pretty cool how eventually all these gods that embody the same archetype were seeing by various people in that region as being the same god essentially. Take the this syncretic storm god i mentioned, Seth-Baal. He was eventually embraced by the military pharaohs of the New Kingdom's 19th Dynasty. Pharaohs like Seti I ("Man of Seth") and Ramesses II traced their lineage to the Delta and wore Sethian devotion as a badge of warrior prowess, celebrating the 400-Year Stela of Seth-Baal at Tanis and describing Ramesses at the Battle of Kadesh as roaring "like Baal in his wrath, like Seth in his hour." The cult of this northern storm god from Mount Zaphon traveled straight down the maritime trade routes into Egypt, establishing a major sanctuary at Pelusium on the edge of the Nile Delta, where Egyptian archaeologists unearthed the fallen pink granite columns of the temple of Zeus Kasios, showing that Seth-Baal had syncretized with Zeus.
God, religion is so fucking fake and gay
>>224024510>nooooo how can an aspect of humanity and history be interesting! you can't make funkopops out of that one!I'll pray for you
>>224023530I still don't know if those bearded guys and bald shaved guys were the same. I mean, I kind of thought that the bald guys were Sumerians and the bearded guys were Semites (Akkadians), but apparently both were Sumerians.
>>224024510NahThe hall monitor fags trying to police you with their religion are gay, but religion itself is a fascinating insight into the mindsets and values of our ancestors.
>>224024510yeah but if you look past all the fake gayness it actually reveals interesting aspects about history and past societies
>>224024481Lends a lot of meaning to the moments where cultures really get together and say 'you know what, the whole universe of all this is clearly something of an intelligent character itself' and find monotheism
>>224023571>The largest single stone in the Great Pyramid of Giza is a granite block that weighs between 50 and 80 tons, located above the King's Chamber.How they be movin that though
>>224024595>nooooo how can an aspect of humanity and history be fake and gay! you can't criticize anything people do!Praying is mental illness. It doesn't even make sense by religious standards seeing as your god is supposed to already know what you think and feel. Insanity.
>>224024669https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5pZ7uR6v8c
>>224024677>how can an aspect of humanity and history be fake and gaythat would work if, say, the subject matter was communism or nazism, not religion. you need to grow up.
>>224024677I think you have a narrow idea of what reality is, and can be to certain people in certain times and places
>>224024644The irony, though, is that Greeks hated the idea of Zeus being compared to Seth. When Greeks like Herodotus and later Plutarch looked at Egyptian religion, they didn't map Zeus to Seth, instead they mapped Zeus to Amun (Zeus-Ammon), Osiris to Dionysus, and Horus to Apollo, and so on.. When they looked at Seth as the violent, donkey-associated god of scorching desert storms and dry heat who dismembered Osiris, the Greeks saw a villain and mapped Seth to their ultimate nightmare monster: Typhon. In Hesiod and Apollodorus, Typhon is the hundred-headed serpent giant that Zeus defeats on Mount Casius. Plutarch explicitly states in 'De Iside et Osiride' that Seth is simply the Egyptian name for Typhon.So you essentially had the "continuity error" of its time, where if an Egyptian soldier in the Nile Delta looked at the storm god of Mount Casius, he would see Seth-Baal, the mighty patron of war and border defense who spears Apophis from the prow of the solar boat. But if a Greek merchant stepped off a ship at the very same port, he would instead worship Zeus Kasios, the victorious king of heaven who had cast down Typhon (Seth) into the earth. So you had the same foreign storm deity simultaneously being the king of Olympus and the primeval monster under Olympus's feet. In the same Mount and everything.
>>224024728Religion is fake and gay.>>224024737I can freely criticize human behavior. Do you support cannibals? Surely there's something you're against or think poorly of. To say otherwise is a lie.
>>224024749Is Isis’ need to reassemble Osiris‘s corpse nightly after it was murdered by the aspect of storms Seth, a projection of the reality that in order for the Egyptian culture to survive, you must repair the land from storms in order to farm?
>>224024510people from 10.000 years ago telling stories to eachother at a campfire wondering how it all began is actually cool as fuck.speaks volumes about the imaginative and transformative power of the human mind. it doesnt matter that gods arent physically, the belief in them and people acting in their name makes them real.its almost like childhood magic that we lost
>>224024808>Religion is fake and gay.see >>224024595
>>224024702>inb4 it’s the video of the boomer wobbling a stone 1/5 the weight a few feet on hard surface rather than 100s of miles away over hills
>>224024835>a single boomer with a piece of wood moving a 20 ton block of stone>somehow this can't be scaled up in any way, shape or form using hundreds of prime workers
>shitpost thread turns into an actually interesting mythology debatesometimes /tv/ is still pretty good and comfy
It's pretty boring because we will never know the true diversity of the original religions. Very early on expansionist pastoralists like Indo-Europeans spread throughout Eurasia. Good luck telling if Turkish Tengri is the original Siberian entity or something borrowed from Indo-Iranians. In the Middle East something similar happened. There was early great homogenization of cultures. The old Anatolian gods people believed in the neolithic were long dead by the time writing was invented. There's also and Indo-European connection here through Caucasus and spread of Caucasian ancestry all over the Middle East already in the Early Bronze Age.
>>224020464kek
>>224020464genius
>>224024934We have no need your for anthropological pessimism here
>>224024812Not quite.Isis gathered and mummified Osiris's severed parts once to conceive Horus and install Osiris as lord of the Underworld (Duat). The nightly death-and-rebirth cycle, though, belonged to another deity, the sun god Ra, whose solar barque traveled through the underworld each night to unite with Osiris and defeat the chaos-serpent Apep (Apophis) before dawn. Osiris’s dismemberment and burial mirrored the annual crop cycle, aka the reaping, threshing, and burying of the dormant grain in dry earth, which only "resurrects" when the Nile rises to flood the fields. His restoration wasn't about repairing storm damage, but rather about the perennial return of vegetative life against the encroaching desert. This is reflective of another myth, in the Canaanite Baal Cycle from Ugarit (c. 1400–1200 BCE). In that myth, Mot (whose name literally means "Death") embodies the scorching summer drought, sterility, and the consuming underworld. When Baal, the storm and rain god, is swallowed by Mot, rains cease and the earth withers. The agricultural connection becomes unmistakable when Baal’s warrior sister, Anat, avenges him. Her destruction of Mot describes the precise processing of harvested grain step-by-step. She cleaves him with a sword (reaping the stalk), she winnows him in a sieve (separating grain from chaff), she scorches him with fire (parching the grain), she grinds him in a millstone (milling into flour), and finally she scatters his remains across the fields (sowing the seed). Once Mot is processed and sown into the earth, Baal returns to life, triggering the winter rains.Even though in Egypt, the storm god is the villain, aka Seth (storm, chaos, desert heat) who murders the peaceful lord of fertility and grain (Osiris), and in Canaan, the storm god is the hero, aka Baal (rain, thunder, fertility) who is the savior who brings life, while Mot (the dry summer underworld) is the consumer.
>>224017025Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!
>>224016984They would make religious movies but they have no other stories yet so they would just be movies. People would want to know the next stories about their gods and everyone would treat each movie like its a documentary.
>>224025119Do you think the civilization fell when they released 'The Last Jedi' equivalent release of their Epic series?
>>224024934You're hitting on some very real historical anxieties, but I think you’re being a bit too cynical. We aren’t as blind to the past as you think. While the massive expansions of the Bronze and Iron Ages certainly overwritten, absorbed, and homogenized countless older traditions, they didn't erase them without a trace. Modern historical linguistics, comparative mythology, and archaeogenetics allow us to do something akin to psychological and cultural excavation. We might not have the complete picture, but we can piece together incredibly vivid fragments of what these lost worlds believed.Your point about Turkic Tengri is a great example of where we actually can tell the difference.While it’s true that Central Asia was a massive melting pot of Indo-Iranian (like the Scythians and Saka) and early Turkic and Mongolic populations, linguists can trace the word Tengri back to Proto-Turkic "teŋri" ("sky" or "god"). There's no evidence it was borrowed from an Indo-European root. It is a native Steppe-Siberian concept.What did happen later was syncretism, like some Mongolian tribes adopting "Hormusta" from the Persian 'Ahura Mazda', but the core of Tengrism remains distinct from the Indo-European sky-father (Dyḗws phatḗr). Shamanistic animism and the worship of the blue sky (Gök Tanrı) has a Siberian ecological logic that stands apart from the highly stratified, heroic, and tri-functional pantheons of the Indo-Europeans.So through careful comparative work, we can separate the native bedrock from the later Iranian and Buddhist overlays.
>>224025033Nice, thanks for the great answer (and being so forgiving of my lack of accuracy in the myth)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4BDbOE2RDQ
>>224025216It is still cool that you brought it up, because that myth still tells us a lot about their society, and we can see that reflected in other regions of the Levant in their own myths. It's like seeing the remake of an old movie, same script but with different twists and turns. I find it all super interesting.
>>224025254I certainly learned a lot. Your prose is excellent by the way. You could work at a museum and probably touch the artifacts
>>224023693Based Rune Soup member
>>224024822the problem is that adults today unironically believe in these campfire stories and use them to justify interfering in other people's lives
>>224016984UDREYA
>>224019363>ALIENS>FROM ANOTHER PLANET>REACHED EARTH>500000 YEARS AGO>TO EXTRACT..>TO EXTRACT.... WAIT FOR IT.....>LE HECKIN GOLDERINOS!!!
>>224025527yeah it's pretty gay
>>224024129Off-topic best topic
>>224025723They had to repair their atmosphere and use monoatomic gold for life extension purpose. Then they got horny and started fuckin
>>224017025OH NO YOU FUCKING WON'T
>>224016984>NIMROD, MORE LIKE NIMGOD>*EXPLOSION*>"I JUST THINK ANOTHER FLOOD IS COMING, I HATE HIPPIES">*ANCIENT CHAIN SAW NOISES*>OH GOD, ITS FALLING OVER!>QUE? >CHING CHONG?>SAAR?>HUE HUE?>OLLLLAAAA!!!>NNNNOOOOO!!!!>THIS SUMMER 2026>*ANOTHER EXPLOSION*>WHEN TOWERS FALL>This film is not yet rated
>>224027369Lol
>>224017031Lmao
>>224017409>I saw you take a stick>Jab it in a sheet of wax>Thinkin you could use the symbols there>To document the barley tax>Listen man, I understand>Everybody needs a hobby>Maybe you could take that stuff>Show it off to Hammurabi>With Enkiiiidu>I’m out here rulin in the sun>I got my ziggurat>Bronze armor on, baby>Cuneiform>Wisdom will be passed along>After the boys of ... Sumer have gone>Remember back in Uruk High>Co-captains of the wrestling team>Tag-teamin up on old Humbaba>Down in Nippur you could hear him scream>I might not comprehend every little godly whim>Thinkin maybe I could take a trip>Take it up with Utnapishtim>With Enkiiiiidu>I’m out here rulin in the sun>I got my beard crimped up>Vanquishing everyone>Cuneiform>Wisdom will be passed along>After the boys of ... Sumer have gone>Out on the plains today>I saw a Marduk tablet on a chariot>Little voice inside my head said>”What a cool cat, defeated Tiamat”>I dammed up all the Tigris>Honoring my bud>Or was that Euphrates?>I was a little drunk, but>With Enkiiiiidu>I’m out here rulin in the sun>I got my ziggurat>Bronze armor on, Nabu>Cuneiform>Wisdom will be passed along>After the boys of ... Sumer have gone>With Enkiiiidu>I’m out here rulin in the sun>We’re slayin Heaven’s own Bull>Spare ribs for everyone!>Cuneiform>Wisdom will be passed along>After the boys of ... Sumer have gone
>>224020464Beautiful.
>>224027242>monoatomic goldOh boy, isn't that the stuff called mana that Moses and his outcasts ate in the desert?
>>224022382Kek
I got fired today and this thread cheered me up a bit, ty OP
>>224018603>Dog walking into a tavern covers face with pawMade me chuckle irl
>>224022849>>224023137>>224023265That’s cool as shit. Thanks for posting all this.
>>224023264Am I remembering correctly that there’s evidence they used wax tablets as erasable “notepads”?
>>224018603too obscure for this board
>>224023137Good read, thanks
>>224027242>Then they got horny and started fuckinWrong. They genetically engineered a slave race from early homonins to do their work for themAnd then after that they got horny started fucking.
>>224024087Kek
>>224027209Actually getting pretty educational.
>>224016984>they sail now! They sail now? They sail now.
>>224024822I know some people here are very likely to blitz me for this (you included, conceivably), but what’s your opinion of Man of Steel and BvS from a mythic perspective? I’m someone who happens to believe that those two movies have a lot more going on under the hood than most people give them credit for. It has everything in the world with that “lost magic” you mentioned.
>>224025320Seconding this. These posts have been amazing reads.
>>224028980Snyder some very tiny bit of it came from Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh and Enkidu.
>>224029079Here’s my breakdown on all the stuff I picked up (or at least read into it):>Krypton is Superman’s “father” - the world of science/rationality>Earth is his “mother” - a world that still retains its magic>Jor-El is essentially Osiris>Zod is Seth>Kal-El is Horus - “He who is above”That’s the basics of it. I think they were simultaneously commenting on the character’s place comics history and using mankind’s god-making “magic” (imagination) the basis for metahuman “supermen.”
>>224020464
>>224022997>this was considered a 10/10 in the 0s
>>224028486Well, the rocks can’t be erased, you understand, at least not easily. In fact, they are monuments and wall walls that make up the very pillar of the civilization. Nothing you could wipe out with the back of your hand.
>>224016984UUUUDREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAA
>>224029917That’s what I’m saying - in addition to what was chiseled permanently in stone, they used tablets with beeswax(or something) on them for jotting down temporary notes. They could scrape them back “blank” sort of like a wax version of an Etch-a-Sketch.
>>224018603Okay, has anyone come up with an explanation for the oldest joke in the world? Personally, I think it's word play around a word we haven't uncovered yet.
>>224018740>they recently discovered something called a "bank" and at this rate they will end up owning them in the future too.
>>224017025There goes my hero
>>224030227The dog came in and sucked someone’s dick thinking it was a beer tap
>>224021073>>224023988This guy unfortunately has a very clear bias for the Biblical narrative which makes his stuff unreliable when the actual historical record contradicts that.
Arc of the Covenant status?
>you know what date is on this coin?>1958 BC
>>224023988I really like The Pharaoh Nerd, you can tell he's really passionate about his autistic interest and presents it in a way I like. Highly recommend his channel for ancient history stuff.
>>224017031
>>224028498I assure I understood that reference.
>>224017025qrd on this lad
>>224024644>and find monotheismMonotheism isn't exactly the ultimate end result of cultural and religious convergence, it developed in very specific circumstances during the Babylonian exile when the exiled Israelites reworked and retconned their formerly polytheistic religion into monotheism. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGCqv37O2Dg
>>224020491More readable than bing bong ching chong languages.
>>224020491not bad considering they were the first ones we know who did it. And the writing form makes perfect sense when you remember that they were pressing symbols into clay rather than writing with ink and paper or chiseling into stone. A series of stamped wedges makes sense given the stylus they were using.
>A dog, having entered an inn, did not see anything, and so he said: 'Shall I open this door?'This joke made ancient boomers piss and shit their togas
A NEW THREAT
>what is this place...?
>>224024162>Why couldn't they just make it?Same reason girls don't want cheap manufactured diamonds over the real thing here on earth.
>>224030227I’m assuming it’s a brothel joke. He’s clearly about to make a blunder, maybe opening a privacy curtain or door. People tend to like using “dog” as a nickname for foreigners, uncultured, or horny. Maybe someone who doesn’t know the customs.
>>224016984Kek, got me.
>>224023137and where does Stavros God Of The Juice fit in? what is his Germanic counter part?
>>224023265No no no. The Syrians stole the thunder god idea from Greece and Zeus.Just like how the Japanese copied the kimono from the Greeks.
>>224017025I hate this guy, fuck this guy.
>>224028785No. Not Kek. You gotta at least go appeal to Bast or maybe that gator one.
>>224031445I hate when I wake up in the morning and there is sea men everywhere.
>>224023693Please proofread your posts jesus fuck that's frustrating to read.
Eridu has fallen
>first writing system>called the cunnyformWhat did the ancients mean by this?
>>224032801>The name comes from the Latin word cuneus, meaning "wedge">In a roundabout way, cunny also comes from the same Latin word
>>224023693>You call them the Seven Sisters >Despite the fact that there are clearly only six of them
>>224017480>NUBIANS NUBIANS NUBIANS NUBIANS NUBIANS
>>224032974What's a Nubian?
>>224031496Welcome to Earf
>>224018603Kek
>>224020464Kek
>>224031496>hits the dab>"I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your grandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandgrandkids are gonna love it"
Good thread. I'm chuckling. Guffawing.
>>224031496>>224033232While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies!
>>224024481It’s always 12 or 9…why?
>priests and officials reach the top easily>main character is panting and crawling the last few steps
>>224020106Literally me.
>>224033795factors of 360, which are thedegrees in a circle. Also, the way they counted was in base 12 due to there being 3 segments on each of the 4 non-thumb fingers.
In all cultures though? It always seemed to be 9 to 12 individuals that we the givers and sustainers of civilization
>>224033371Isis’d. I mean kek’d
BRONZE?
>>224024087lost
>>224022241>talk to the hand, pleb
Cast him.
>>224017025*record scratch*EYYY IM WALKIN ERE
>meanwhile in bronze age ChinaMASS HUMAN SACRIFICE
>>224034490
>>224034490Eyles M'barek
>>224034618it's crazy the further back in chinese history you go the more precolumbian americanit looks
>she could climb MY ziggurat
>>224033839>*announcer shuffling tablets around*>"its a sunny day here in the beautiful city of Ur and copper's up 15%
When will Gilgamesh receive his blockbuster film?
>>224033839>main character trips from the top step and then bonks his head and ass the entire way down as the crowd winces>dog covers eyes with paws
*”By the rivers of Babylon” by Boney M starts playing*
>>224033839>slow motion scene of hero reaching top raising fists to the sky while screaming as thus spake zarathustra plays
It's gonna have to be animated and produced by Dreamworks
>>224035036>movie is set in 4000 BC>protagonist has a sports watchUhh, immersion ruined?
>>224035589a fella needs to know what time isit
>>224030517Darwin predicted that there should be two creatures discovered in the fossil record: a half-bird, half-dinosaur and a half-fish, half-frog. That THING is the latter.And we are too late to stop him.
>Jack Black in a cheap fish costume rises from the water while a choir sings>"STOP PISSING IN THE EUPHRATES!">the crowd mubmles>"YEAH, THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO ASHURBANIBAL, I SAW YOUR LITTLE PECKER AND I SAW THE RASH, MAYBE GET THAT LOOKED AT BY SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME"
>>224030227Alcohol back then was sold in closed amphora; you couldn't see the quality of the beverage, if you didn't open it/ pour it outHe, being a dog of a man, bought and drank the drink without looking what it was
>>224034893>mfw when copper rugged after the discovery of high temp furnaces and mass scale ironmakingGOD FUCKING DAMN THOSE HITTITES
THIS SPRING AND AUTUMN
>>224017025GET THE FUCK BACK IN THE WATER
>>224031445why is there an eagle donald trump
>>224017025Reminder that this guy is responsible for you having college debt.
>>224032956Two are so close they look like 6, yeah. Need a telescopeThe great hunt that continued into the stars is another ancient story that came a little after the first two I mentioned
>>224016984Reminder Sumeria didn't exist and was invented by FreeMasons to discredit Christ
>>224020464>>224020106
>>224036325What's the connection between Sumer and Jesus? The temporal distance is too great for this to make any sense
>>224035647Kek
>>224036356Both Biblical and "Legitimate" history go back 6000 years. Adding ancient Sumeria (pre-ancient Babylon) adds like another thousand years in order to discredit God
>>224036404Kill yourself nigger.
>>224036411its true tho
You don't hate abrahamutts enough
>>224017025
>>224034677>>224034618>the further back in chinese history you go the more precolumbian americanit looksThis is vastly overstated. Shang Dyansty art does look moderately like Classic Maya art sometimes, but it's really just those two periods/cultures that look similar. It's not that Shang dyansty art or older Chinese art in general looks like Mesoamerican or Precolumbian art in general. There's also no correlation between the Shang doing human sacrifices, their art, and the Mesoamericans also doing sacrifices.For example, Classic Maya art might look like Shang dyansty art, but Aztec architecture looks very similar to Minoan architecture, see pic. Sometimes shit just coincidentally looks similar stylistically >>224024079>Get you one of these, put it on your coffee table, and when you have guests, just open it and start nodding like you're understanding a really good story.Or you could actually read the book and internalize it?That being said I haven't read that book specifically and I doubt it would be a good place to start with Mesoamerican history, Maya codices are pretty dense and I think a broader look at their society or history would probably give you a better foundation to then understand and look at their books through, vs starting with the latter before doing the former.>>224024107Gay salamander, you mean
>>224038096Also while I am here, are there any anons in this thread who asked me stuff back in this thread from last week:>>223814508>>223815986>>223819257>>223832240etc?I was busy and I know there were a lot of posts there I couldn't respond to before the thread 404'd
>>224016984Hehe I liked that
>>224036404But the Sumerians record the great flood, doesn't that support the Bible rather than discredit it?
>>224017409I love cune
>>224033839what do they eat
>>224017025What's the deal with the replies to that pic? >Too late to stop him.wtf does that even mean?
>>224024644>christcuck mutt freak immediately interjects to fuck up a very productive conversationstory as old as time
>>224017025What a Bastard.
>>224038906https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiktaalik#Cultural_significance
>>224038906There would be no industrial society today if tiktaalik had remained in the ocean
>>224017025Look at his smug fucking face.
Abrahamfaggots really saw all these cool gods and thought "nah we'll just worship the god of the jews and then a random jew and then a pedophile"
>>224039210
>>224039210You can blame a certain Pharao for that, but even then things were already heading toward that direction. Even the Greeks were abandoning their myths and dreaming up a one true intelligence where everything else, including the gods (seen now as minor) emanate from.
>>224039284Egypt had codified legal codes and moral declarations against murder millennia before the Decalogue (most famously the Negative Confessions in the Book of the Dead). The deeper historical reality is that Moses and the early Levite priesthood were almost certainly steeped in Egyptian origin, and biblical monotheism was not invented overnight in a vacuum.In contemporary historical-critical scholarship (such as Richard Elliott Friedman’s 'The Exodus' and Jan Assmann’s work on cultural memory), the Levites stand out from the rest of the Israelite tribes by their distinct Egyptian footprint. The foundational names of the early Levite lineage are not Semitic, they are Egyptian. Moses derives from the Egyptian verbal root msy/mose, meaning "begotten/son of" (the exact same suffix in Thut-mose and Ra-messes). Phinehas comes from Pa-nehesy ("the Nubian/dark-skinned one"), alongside explicitly Egyptian names like Hophni and Pashhur. Unlike the other twelve tribes, the Levites were granted no tribal land of their own, wore linen priestly robes (shes), carried an Ark fitted with poles exactly like Egyptian temple barques carried in ritual processions, and strictly mandated circumcision, which in the Bronze Age was an elite Egyptian priestly rite, rather than a universal Semitic one.This historical core links directly to the Amarna Period and Pharaoh Akhenaten (c. 1350 BC), who launched the world’s first recorded monotheistic revolution by abolishing the traditional pantheon in favor of the single, aniconic creator deity, the Aten. The literary imprint is undeniable: Psalm 104 in the Hebrew Bible mirrors Akhenaten’s Great Hymn to the Aten almost stanza for stanza. When the Amarna heresy collapsed and its memory was violently purged by the restored Amun priesthood, surviving Atenist factions and sympathetic Egyptian scribes likely fled east into the Sinai wilderness.
>>224039380But like i said, this shift toward a single supreme reality was not confined to Egypt and the Levant. By the 6th and 5th centuries BC, Greek thinkers were already dissecting their own polytheistic myths to arrive at the same conclusion. Xenophanes openly mocked the idea of gods looking like humans and argued for "one greatest god, unlike mortals in form or thought," while Orphic mysticism, Plato’s 'Form of the Good', and Aristotle’s 'Unmoved Mover' laid the groundwork for classical monism, that is, the realization that the entire cosmos emanates from a single, uncaused primordial source. So no, Monotheism was not a bizarre rejection of an older pantheon, but rather it was the inevitable convergence of Bronze Age royal crises with early philosophical metaphysics.I would love to talk more in depth about this, but i fear this topic would just create unnecessary shitstorm.
>>224039380>>224039435does "david" have anything to do with "dyeus pater", seeing as how it is the jews' greatest king, and suspciously similar
>When I think of asses... a woman's ass... something comes out of me
>>224039716No, it is a textbook false cognate caused entirely by modern English pronunciation. Linguistically, historically, and etymologically, they have zero connection.David (in Hebrew Dāwīd, דָּוִד, in Northwest Semitic epigraphy as DWD, famously verified on the 9th-century BC Tel Dan Stele in the phrase BYTDWD, "House of David") is Afroasiatic. It derives from the Northwest Semitic root D-W-D, meaning "beloved" or "darling" (cognate with the Hebrew noun dōḏ, "uncle/beloved," Ugaritic dvd, and Akkadian dādu, "beloved"). In ancient Hebrew and Phoenician, it was pronounced closer to Dawīd or Dawīdum, ending in a hard voiced dental stop (/d/), with no connection to sky, fatherhood, or kingship in its lexical root.Proto-Indo-European *Dyēws Phatḗr, on the other hand, is a compound of the PIE verbal root dyeu- ("to shine/day-lit sky"), which evolved into Vedic Dyáuṣ, Greek Zeús, and Latin Diēs/Iovis, with the PIE kinship term *phatḗr ("father"), producing Vedic Pitṛ́, Greek Patḗr, and Latin Pater. When merged, Dyēws Phatḗr yielded Latin Iūpiter (archaic Diespiter), Greek Zeus Patēr, and Vedic Dyauṣ Pitā.The apparent similarity only exists if you look at the Latin word Deus (from PIE deywós, "celestial one") through an English-speaking lens, mishearing modern English "Day-vid" (/deJvJd/) as sounding vaguely like "Deus" or "Dyeus." Once you reconstruct the actual Bronze/Iron Age phonology, the semitic Dawīd versus Indo-European Dyēws, the phonetic resemblance vanishes completely.
>>224040220thank you for the thorough explanation!
>>224024157How does this have no replies
>>224040357Cause it's shit?
Any humbaba man in
from the director of "one last time in pompeii" presents....
>>224040005looks like doctos kek
>>224040260If you want actual, documented cross-cultural influence and parallels regarding David, look at the Philistine and Anatolian connections.First, Goliath is essentially a Homeric champion. The Philistines (Peleset) were Sea Peoples of Aegean/Mycenaean descent who settled on the southern Canaanite coast. For example, '1 Samuel 17' does not depict a typical Semitic brawl. It stages an Aegean single-combat duel between champions (monomachia/promachos). Also Goliath’s panoply is explicitly Aegean. He wears a bronze helmet, scale armor, carries a javelin slung between his shoulders, and specifically wears bronze greaves (mitzkhat nechoshet/Greek knemides), which is a piece of defensive armor completely foreign to Semitic warfare but standard for Mycenaean and Homeric warriors. Even the name Goliath (Galyat) is non-Semitic, matching the Anatolian/Lydian royal name Alyattes.Second, David’s rise to power directly mirrors Bronze Age royal apologetics, most notably the Hittite 'Apology of Hattusili III' (c. 1267 BC). The Hittite being an Indo-European Anatolian language. Biblical scholars (like P. Kyle McCarter) have long noted the structural blueprint. Both are youngest sons elevated by divine favor; Both serve as brilliant young generals under an increasingly paranoid, illegitimate monarch (Saul/Urhi-Teshub); Both marry into the royal family, are driven into exile, and lead a private borderland mercenary warband (David’s band at Adullam and Ziklag operating precisely like Bronze Age Habiru brigands); Both take asylum with foreign enemies (David with Achish of Gath); Both produce a detailed court history designed to prove they did not orchestrate the downfall of the previous dynasty, but were reluctantly chosen by God.And the 'Apology of Hattusili III' directly engages with the Indo-European narrative pattern of the heroic cycle, but it does so by fusing this archaic heroic archetype with a pragmatic Near Eastern scribal genre of legal self-defense.
>>224040457>looks down at penis>"One last time, my friend?">penis lops to one side>"One last time it is then"
>>224031820boy, have i got news for you.
>>224017025We came from God. Not fish.
>>224019363There is no>reachedThese losers were always here and they fear they active fear the wrath and retribution of God. Stand firm, Throw Him in their faces and laugh as they flee.
>>224042542>a spinoff show so shitty that it almost ruins the whole franchise retroactively
>>224042493we came from fishfish came from monocellular organismsmonorganisms came from chemicalschemicals came from atomsatoms came from Godit makes sense
>>224042594>we came from fishYou'll find out when you die.
>>224042493God unironically came from jellyfish
>>224042669Those who prescribe hell in the afterlife shall be dealt hell in life.
>>224042669Evolution remains real independent of your belief in God. I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
>>224042701Jesus Christ pointed out that all are sinners who must repent or face a fearful end.
>>224042829>live Jesus reaction
>>224042972Kek! That picture looks just like Jesus the kike on a stick
>>224042829God decides what happens to people after their death, not you.
>fun Sumer thread dies because of christcuckery vs fedora tipperyNanni lodged a complaint about this
>>224043864chirstcuck apologist
>>224043887Girls, girls! You're both pretty enough to be whores in the temple of Ishtar.
>>224043936There you go. Much better. Don’t ever try to fight with the children of Marduk ever again. They’ll rape ya!
>https://youtube.com/watch?v=DUMq6imrMmI&ra=m
>>224038944>Atheist seething over religion for no reasonkek
>>224039435Why is that such a big innovation for the Greeks when their myths already had the gods as the result of several generations of descentThat is, isn’t Gaia or Erebus close to the Monad?
