I ate 18 sugar-free fudge pops and now I can't stop brapping
OP here with an update: I shat myself
>>85865905I took the biggest dump of my life this morning and I can still feel a bit of the aftermath half a day later. While giving birth to this turd I accidentally made it go back inside again due to firing the wrong muscle group and the pressure on my prostate was almost painful and I could barely suppress an audible moan as it happened. After finishing the business, I took time to gather my strength from this draining ordeal, quietly enduring the consistent burn where the flaming hot chips took their toll.Anyways, saw my waifu yesterday and I feel more at peace somehow. I think we're both chaotic neutral or something. We switch teams to restore the balance if one side gets too strong. People don't get us - because they're stoopid.
>>85866569many years ago I was constipated for like 2 weeks and when I finally shat my taint tore open like wet tissue paper
>>85866607Oof, sounds hellish. Bleeding out my ass from pooping ruins my day but at least it's not a regular occurrence since I eat lots of fiber now. No constipation here due to adequate fiber intake but I got a bit dehydrated and the drinking + hot food was not a good combo but at least I didn't bleed after giving birth like that. An involuntary "Jesus Christ" slipped out when I checked behind me, seeing the poop-python in the bowl, waiting to get releast into the wild once more. It's so weird how I'm very bad at gauging the size of the turd from the sensation ass its sliding out. Sometimes it feels huge but is kind of narrow and this time it felt like a regular turd but was a fully grown python (at least almost).I guess there is no evolutionary advantage of being able to sense the size of a turd by feel as it's sliding out.No homo.
>>85865905I know some of you meanies judge me for my cringe writings but just know this is not meant for your eyes. It's for people that prefer making each other laugh with nasty jokes rather than being nasty irl, like most of you Normie's are doing. Friendly to your face (due to cowardice) and then talking shit behind one's back (again, due to cowardice). I rather be alone than spending time with such phonies.
>>85866607I feel for you. I once ate something very stupid because I didn't want to leave my apartment, and got completely constipated. I had to get an enema, but my ass was too tight so I could only get the tiniest bit of fluid in. That was enough to force me on the toilet but not enough to make passing it easy. Most painful 150 minutes of my life, was just rocking back and forth repetitively praying for it to stop. Since then (almost five years ago) my anus has been torn or something and it itches every day. True story.
>>85866958I wish I didn't know this but at times it's best to break up a turd a bit (pre-brith) to prevent it from tearing things up when it comes out all at once.I will never try ketamine as my ass does not want to experience poop relayed problems that come with ketamine use. I know of someone who takes ket on the regular and it's a real problem.
>>85867189Damn, I didn't know that. I'll watch my diet if I decide to try something new like that in the future.
