Considering the primary reason why people are depressed/suicidal stems from having shitty parents, I'd like listen to some stories about your shitty parents, /r9k/. Were your parents abusive? If they were, how so? Were they verbally abusive or physically abusive? What kind of trauma did they instill in you? How did they react to your depression or suicidal ideation? How would you feel if one or both of your parents died?
I have a theory emotional neglect causes a lot of Neet problems.
>>85857065My mom used to do stuff like take my whole door away when she felt like itShe would punish me at random and use me as an outlet for her emotions Sometimes she also got physical with me and pinned me down or threw objects after me She also trashed my room a lot of times and used to pour boiling water or milk over me When I was 15 she kicked me out She was the sterotypical bpd whore single mom really
My parents aren't bad, they just didn't do enough, but I can't blame them for that. Parents never expect their child to be the "Weird one" so I cannot hold it against then that they didn't know how to raise me.
>>85857157Women are idiots. They malfunction when there's no man around to tell them what to do. She wanted you to smack the shit out of her and assert yourself as the one in charge.
>>85857157>My mom used to do stuff like take my whole door away when she felt like itI remember my dad actually doing something similar once. We got into an argument over something stupid and part way through the argument I went to my room and locked the door, causing him to take the entire thing off it's hinges as a punishment. >She also trashed my room a lot of times and used to pour boiling water or milk over meWhen I was 15 she kicked me out Jeez, your mom sounds like a real insane bitch, anon. >>85857172>My parents aren't bad, they just didn't do enoughWhich would make them bad parents. If you aren't prepared to deal with the hurdles of raising children than you shouldn't have one desu.
>>85857185Nah, I'm the problem, my older brother is already a parent and my younger one is on his last college year, they both are normal unlike me.
they weren't so bad but they weren't exactly good. my dad did weird power play things and kind of humiliated me but idk if the only reason it bothered me so much was because i'm autistic. he's essentially black so you can infer what you will from that. he never beat me he just used to say he would over whatever but i was a really good kid and never pushed anything past that point. i think the worst thing he used to do was abuse dogs in front of me and my brothers (and probably have pit bulls in the first place because they would get into fights). he said he was going to take one of them out to shoot her one time and said it's not his fault everyone was emotionally attached to the family dog when there was disagreement to that. he would also buy me weed at 16 if i paid him to, that wasn't good. my mom is evangelical so she forced that down my throat, yelled at me for asking questions about it when i was young, and made me go to church knowing i hated it until 18. when i had the typical teenage sadness stuff she'd try to argue me out of being sad by telling me i have no reason to feel that way because she doesn't feel that way and she was raped by her dad. she got weirdly annoyed with me whenever i expressed an interest in something to her and act obviously bothered when i would get excited to tell her about things. she also taught me to be a major people pleaser under the guise of being nice i remember i told her this guy bought me a drink at school and she said i should've said i didn't want it because it was rude of me to accept (which i did at first anyway but he insisted). neither of them really acted like they liked talking to me the huge majority of the time and i don't really see my dad anymore despite him living in town. this combination would've 100% given me a whore phase if i wasn't terrified of people. i love them dearly but i don't think they knew how to parent because they were both abused and neglected.
>>85857105I think it horseshoes around and that parents that are too present create NEETs as well. Think those "rich" kids that never leave the parents place and just rot away on games and what not.
Dad used to beat me with a belt, quite often. My mom once pushed my head down the toilet and I almost touched the water, or maybe I actually did, can't remember. I assumed these things were normal. Also my mom would always shut me down when I would start talking about whatever I was interested in or if it got too complicated for her she would go "stop philosophizing" in a very dismissive tone and I still remember that, I think that's why I can't really express my thoughts clearly now, although I'm getting better. I didn't really talk with my dad that much, he's autistic just like me and we barely interacted. They weren't bad in any other sense, they would buy me things I wanted and give me money when I needed etc, but I can't really talk to them at all.
i was raised by single mother and father was never around. and now i am here. why even make kids if you cant take care of them. i didnt ask to be born
>>85857065my parents are basically the classic parents in this book. basically two emotionally unregulated children in adult bodies with both pretty fucked up origins. My Mother was the bpd controlling anorexic type and my Dad the cowardly cuck who had an extremely tyrannical father who just taught him to be an obedient dog. Very much the "nice guy narcissist" type. anyway I was the oldest child (and was an accident) and I don't think my Dad ever really wanted me. They still had two kids after me for some reason. When I was 7 they split up. After that anytime they'd see each other they'd just argue about who "had" to have us. As in we were literally talked about in front of us as if our existence were burdens. When I saw TV shows that had childhood custody battles I was totally baffled when I found out they were fighting in court about who GOT their kids. I assumed they were fighting about who had to take care of them. Such as in my life. Been suicidally depressed since I was 15. Now totally estranged from my father. Sent him a long message detailing how he was basically totally absent in all meaningful capacities and I'm not pretending that he was some great Dad for his parents anymore. My mother was in a psych ward last year. My trauma wasn't overt. I was just totally neglected. I can count the number of times in childhood and teen years on my hand when I was asked how I was actually going. I essentially just raised myself, don't trust anybody and have severe anxiety about people. The only time my parents showed any interest in me was when they needed to use me for their own motives. So I'm extremely suspicious and paranoid when people show any interest in me, even if it's totally authentic.
>>85857576Sorry Anon :(I too had parents that didn't make me feel loved or wanted growing up. They were constantly bringing up how mum wanted to abort me because she had planned on leaving my dad (again) until she found out she was pregnant with me and it dragged out their terrible marriage. But they didn't go through with it due to being superficial Christians. I was made to feel my existence was a burden on them and after divorce they used me as a messenger to repeat terrible things one parent had said about the other.
>>85857065My mom is the overprotective, neurotic type who is incapable of holding a negative emotion or accepting the possibility her feelings might be wrong, my dad is the passive type who self isolates and retreats when faced with negative emotions. So basically my family does not communicate properly and just puts on a happy face, if anything comes up my mom will steamroll my dad or me until she gets her way. Domineering emotionally exhausting women fuck over so many men.
>>85857065>Were your parents abusive? If they were, how so? Were they verbally abusive or physically abusive? What kind of trauma did they instill in you? I guess so, yeah. Both of them were drunks. My dad was mostly good to me, usually he'd just make me fall asleep in his arms when he drank too much. my mom was a bit worse. she would come in my room and beat me while i was sleeping and she molested me a couple times. she used to come into my room and drag me away and make me tell her i loved her over and over again and she'd cut herself in front of me if i tried to get away. then she'd pass out and throw up on herself and piss on herself and i'd have to clean the house up and put her in bed. dad was away from home so i was dealing with this shit just me and my brother from the time we were like 8 or 9 years old.what ended up happening was that I just went completely cold inside. i started being a cutter when i was 9 because it made the emptiness feel a little better, i guess that's the trauma. I can't feel emotions like a normal person anymore becuase mom manipulated me so much that she squeezed all the love out of my body. My brother basically ended up the same way. We are both superficially good people, but within each other i think we both know that we're completely heartless. he's more of the stoic narcissistic type though and i'm more of the attention seeking borderline type of shit human being.1/2
>>858578912/2>How did they react to your depression or suicidal ideation? my mom caught me cutting myself and locked me in the bathroom with her with a bottle of bleach. she said we were going to commit suicide together if i was suicidal. i said okay and went to drink the bleach and she knocked it out of my hands and started crying. Then later on when I tried to hang myself she stopped me. >How would you feel if one or both of your parents died?here's where the story gets a little fucked up. my mom did almost die. her throat exploded from the alcoholism and she was in a coma for a month. over a few days i had thought it was a normal bender, but the floors were soaked with blood and piss instead of just piss. my dad was drinking real heavily too, and i was in the middle of a psychotic episode so i wasn't sure what the fuck was going on. she was like that for a couple days and i kept talking about it and she said nothing was wrong. dad didn't really give a shit if she died i think. i ended up going for a walk to clear my head and the cops showed up and talked to me and I didn't know why they were doing that. they said it was because i was covered in blood. i said oh well that's just mom she's sick right now. then they ended up telling me to take her to the hospital so i called an ambulance. apparently if she had been discharged a few hours later she would have died. i didn't really feel anything about the whole event. i didn't hate her, i really just felt nothing. the event ended up giving her wernicke's aphasia, and she ended up losing all of her memories of the time when she was drinking and all the horrible things she did. she's in aa now and doesn't drink, but I can't tell her about the things that happened at home. It's just something that's too terrible to know about, I guess. My brother is the only one who still knows. He never forgave my mom, but I ended up doing so. She's a different person when she's sober. I just can't really feel anger at all.
>>85857898>wernicke's aphasiasorry, meant to say wernicke korsakov syndrome
>parents were obsessed with punishing me as a kid>fucks up my psyche>whenever anything goes wrong or I make a mistake, I spiral into self hatred>start cutting myself when I was 7 years old to punish myself>beat myself with bats in my teens>stopped hurting myself physically after that and ruin my life with alcohol and drugs>30 years old>finally sober and just now able to stop the automatic response to punish myself for everythingthanks mom and dad
compared to other anons terrible parents mine were great but dad hog tied me a couple of times when I was 4-6 since I would through violent autistic temper tantrums. I got grounded a lot for refusing to go to school, they didnt understand autism back then. They also took me to doctors and psychologists constantly which accomplished nothing because they were all retarded, I was really good at masking so I could manipulate them into beliving there was nothing wrong with me because I just wanted to get the hell out f thier office. Things changed when I got glandular fever and a teacher who had a kid who had gone through it too so she made a great effort to help me but its really only been in the last 6 years or so that they finally got an understanding of what was wrong with me. In all honestly I had a great childhood despite that growing up in an amazing little town with my best friends living litterally next door either side and even a couple of chicks directly across the road. They have good physical genetics (tall and attractive) didn't feed me goy slop and we were a very athletic family so I didnt have significant problems maintaining a friend group or getting attention from girls. There should be a licence to have children
>>85857462you dad sounds like a pos lol
>>85857065Extremely controllingCould barely dress myself even in my early 20s because my mom would constantly give me her opinion on what I was wearing. if I disagreed with her opinion the whole day would be ruined Literally had to fucking yell and scream at these people for years now to get them to back off
>>85857065I'm going to drop a massive bombshell that has been hidden from the public for many years (picrel). From 2000 to around 2009ish, I was constantly abused by my mom and stepfather when I was a teen, and I suffered so much pain that I was desperate to find some form of relief. Porn and mastrubation was the only relief that was powerful enough to make me not want to kill myself, but this also ended up creating an addiction feedback loop that kept getting worse overtime (an unending cycle of suffering from abuse and alleviating my pain). Mom and the stepfather are the real reason why the camera incident occurred, and they used that incident as a tool to frame me, and get me thrown into the mental health system (Broome Developmental Center). They lied to everyone (including CPS and law enforcement) about what happened on the farm, and they got away with a massive child abuse crime for over 25 years. My brother and the 5 stepkids witnessed all of the abuse, but none of them ever spoke out agaist mom and the stepfather.Despite all of the suffering they put me through, I was kind enough to try and forgive my mom in 2016, but she pretended to care about me just to shut me up so that I don't speak out against her. I was also abused by multiple staff members in Broome Developmental Center for years, and I was recently abused by a female staff member in march last year (she's the reason why I began to despise feminists in the first place). I've never been genuinely loved at all throughout my entire life, and I've become completely detached and dissociated from everyone and everything in this world. I've been wanting a white girlfriend for a while now, but the women in the USA have become ultra materialistic gold diggers who treats men as personal wallets and punching bags while openly calling for the genocide of men.
I used to really despise my parents but the older I get, the more I've started to understand that the reason why they are the way they are is really just because they had even shittier parents than I did.
>>85857910>wernicke korsakov syndromeThis is the first time I've run across someone in the wild with a parent who has this. While I'm sure it is easier in some ways from your youth, managing that isn't easy either. My mother's situation was A LOT different though. Been dealing with it for decades at this point.Shit I thought I posted this hours ago. Don't really want to bump a dead Thread, but maybe you are still around anon.
>>85861073I am still here. Thanks for the reply. How long have you been dealing with your mom's issues? Was she drinking as early as you can remember?
>>85861106glad you are still around anon.I've been dealing with it for about 30 years (almost my whole life, essentially). My mom actually was never a drinker, but still developed wernicke korsakov. Her situation was very unique, like 1 in a million for it to happen the way it did. So that is what I meant by a different situation than your mom's.It has been a struggle. When I was younger I didn't really notice, but as I got older I started to see how the disorder affects her. I still love her, but growing up with a mom who has memory issues, mood swings, confabulation really stunted me.How many years has it been since your mom's incident? Does she require full time care or anything like that?
>>85857486if the care is all about putting the kid in front of the video games, then they're not that different
>>85861226>Her situation was very unique, like 1 in a million for it to happen the way it did. So that is what I meant by a different situation than your mom's.that sucks. it honestly feels a little better to have something you can blame yourself for with a chronic condition i think.>It has been a struggle. When I was younger I didn't really notice, but as I got older I started to see how the disorder affects her. I still love her, but growing up with a mom who has memory issues, mood swings, confabulation really stunted me.yeah, a lot of neurological symtoms are easy to overlook till you're really in the weeds with them. it's just not fair to someone with brain daamge to expect them to be a parent really either.>How many years has it been since your mom's incident? Does she require full time care or anything like that?8 years now i think, my memory isn't too good either. shes made a decent recovery and works full time and stuff which is good.
>>85861325I think it's more the care comes with the assumption that removing friction is going to make them become something when all it does is create a coward and then it's too late to be a tough parent that makes them go out and face the world.
>>85857065i think most parents are fine. people are terminally addicted to being online and being victims. everyone is brainwashing themselves into thinking their parents are monsters. memory recall isn't 100% accurate and your brain just fills in the gaps. if you think you were abused as a child, your brain will in the gaps with that. i'm not say everyone parents were good but some of you need to get a grip. i genuinely recommend looking into confabulation. feel free to hate your parents but don't slander them.
>>85857967>finally sober and just now able to stop the automatic response to punish myself for everythingIf you see this, I'm happy for you. Progress is always worth celebrating even if you should have never been in the situation you needed to progress out of in the first place.
>>85861907>it honestly feels a little better to have something you can blame yourself for with a chronic condition i thinkIDK about "feels better," but there was definitely a realazition moment of "oh, this isn't normal" followed by confusion, because there was nothing to blame (other than shitty docs who missed early signs).> just not fair to someone with brain daamge to expect them to be a parentshe did her best, and our dad was focused on managing everything outside the home so she didn't have to worry, but that may have made things worse. We were all sorta trapped in her mental health issues with her.That's great your mom is able to work and be self sufficient. Just a word of caution, but she will probably age and deteriorate mentally faster. The crude example we were given was the mental deterioration is about ~15 yrs older than her body (at least in my mom's case)
>>85862065>That's great your mom is able to work and be self sufficient. Just a word of caution, but she will probably age and deteriorate mentally faster. The crude example we were given was the mental deterioration is about ~15 yrs older than her body (at least in my mom's case)it might end up being that i'll mmove in back with her and we'll live together maybe. i have my own mental issues so it's really difficulty to live independently as well, but with two heads together we were able to manage the household okay as adults. sorta anxious about the future though
>>85857065Parents divorced when I was a baby so I always had 2 independent households. Mum just kinda hated me because I liked staying inside and reading books and playing video games over going out and doing sports and being a normie. She ended up with a boyfriend who also really hated me, and together they always found reasons to criticize and punish me, though it was mostly screaming at me and taking away my Nintendo, never physical abuse. Eventually she separated from him and fell into depression that she took like 6 years to crawl out of. Also emotional neglect in the sense that she was never proud of my achievements In guess. Eventually we had a good sit down where we screamed at each other for an entire evening, she apologized for a lot, and now we're on better terms. She's still an emotionally stunted retard that can't express herself properly to save her life, but ultimately it's more sad than anger inducing. Dad always did his job pretty well, some minor hiccups here and there, he taught me some really unhealthy eating habits, but all around nothing much to complain about. I'd say in total it affected me significantly while I was growing up, but I don't think it permanently damaged me. I always had the life line of dad to call out mums shitty behaviour, so since day 1 I was aware that her treating me badly wasn't my fault, and she was just being an asshole
>>85862082That could be good for the two of you. Consistency and routine seem to be key with this condition, but obviously things can overwhelm quickly. So the two of you splitting household duties could make all that easier. I hope that works out well.>sorta anxious about the futureI understand very well. Aside from the anxiety and neurosis from my youth, I now feel paralyzed managing things.
>>85862156>I understand very well. Aside from the anxiety and neurosis from my youth, I now feel paralyzed managing things.sorry about that :(how does your anxiety manifest in the day to day?
>>85857065My dad used to call me a little faggot, but now he just cries all the time.
>>85862265>how does your anxiety manifest in the day to day?mostly AVPD. If I stick to things that distract me, or keep me from having to interact to interpersonally, I'm ok(ish). I can fake good decently, but I can reach my tipping point quickly and just want to retreat.doesn't help I'm unemployed and feel unemployable.
