Is it normal for partners to keep secrets from each other? If I had a gf, I would want to be able to say everything about myself and have her still accept me. Part of the reason I struggle getting a gf is because of my self-esteem and my past full of mistakes making me avoid opportunities since I feel that it's impossible. I feel like an abnormal, ruined person.I don't think I could stomach a relationship where I'm keeping secrets about my mistakes and flaws since I hate lying. Especially because there's a chance of the secrets coming up suddenly and it would be worse if I kept it secret for so long and then having her find out unexpectedly I think. But if I tell her and she has an episode and turns on me, she could ruin my social life and career with the information for revenge. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm really lost. I wish I could start over.
>>85854420dude being 19 must be so fucking chill fuckkkk
>>85854434I'm almost 30, man
>>85854420Did you kill someone or something? No you dont need to tell them anything you dont want them to know, naturally people share insecurities as they become closer just dont be a retard about it. You think she hasnt ever made mistakes or have regrets too? Theres some things you dont want to know, like how much she enjoyed having sex with an ex or something
i feel really similarly anon i guess you just have vet her very well but i know that's easier said than done. it also depends on if it relates to being in a relationship. like if you wanted to not hide anything you'd want to mention something like a domestic violence charge but it doesn't make as much sense to say you've been arrested shoplifting before. the second wouldn't be leaving something out it just doesn't make any sense to say. why do you think it would be so necessary to disclose anyway? you're probably being too harsh on yourself there's not a lot that a girl would actually care about in terms of past mistakes.
>>85854420what are you, like 13 years old? don't worry about it.
>>85854587>>85854725>Did you kill someone or something?I fap to loli, posted revenge porn of my ex when I was in highschool, and I had a romantic relationship w/ a 16yo with over a decade age gap
>>85854779maybe stop doing the first one and accept the only type of girl you'll be able to keep is mentally ill. just make sure it's the type of mental that can't talk to anyone because others have a large chance of using that against you. no normal girl is going to be okay with the first and last.
>>85854420>Is it normal for partners to keep secrets from each other?yeah, if you're a bad personmost people have at least a few secrets that they would never tell anyone. the things that are really, really bad.
>>85854779OH fuck dude then just kys
>>85854420You know what they say, everyone had secrets. Anyone who claims otherwise has secrets of their own.
>>85854420You should not share everything, some things are bet kept to yourself, and if she eventually somehow discovers these things you already have a bond with her so she will be more willing to overlook these fucked up things in your past.
Absolutely, everyone has secrets and things they never tell anyone at all.
>>85854994thank you anon. i think thats the only thing i can hope for
