>>43658472
Continue since 3000 limit was hit

Ilktone:
https://ponepaste.org/11775 - Hearts in Flight (Rarity)

Guest (Default ponepaste account):
https://ponepaste.org/10884 - Danger Zone (Cloud Chaser)
https://ponepaste.org/11685 - Anon has bad start and becomes a Villain

>>43658299
>are you saying that the correct cutiemark should have appeared from the spell
no, I'm saying the opposite.
>but was substituted with this self-destructive mark instead
that's what I think the perp is doing to conceal the true fate of AD's CM.
>the spell was going to generate an exact replica of our real cutiemark
you missed again.
the "make the cutie mark show up" spell can't make the /REAL/ cutie mark appear. a fake mark will always be different from the real one.

>>43658351
it sure looks like it's /an/ anon, but I'm not sure about it being /our/ anon. there's only one problem with that, tho, and that's the question I raised in an earlier post: How would a human, from our world, be able to even find his way into Equestria? there's no magic in our world. a portal has to first be opened from the Equestria side. and the Equestrian doing it has to know exactly what they're doing in order to make contact with a particular someone in our world.
with this in mind, I do believe that Discord is at least in on it. we literally see him open a portal between Equestria and his own chaos realm more than once in FIM. but does that mean he's the only one who can tear open a portal between worlds? if yes, that means he initiated first contact with someone from our world. would that someone just happen to be an Anon from /mlp/ who has a desire to mastermind a scheme involving Discord and other villains?

these questions need answers, and I'm lookin forward to seeing how WIngedAnon will deliver. only time will tell, I guess.

>>43658528
There are other portals that exist. It's how the breezies get home.

>>43658472
this pic is pretty cringe ngl

>>43658547
isn't that a very specific portal tho, an is it has a specific fixed destination?

>>43658549
It's cringe because he's not holding Spitfire, obviously

File: momma.jpg (38 KB, 400x390)

38 KB JPG

>>43658488

>>43658528
Ok then, that would mean that the spell does NOT specifically target anon's CM. It targets any CM on anon. Yes? Under this interpretation?

>>43650208
>Be Cadance again.
>After breakfast, and a tearful goodbye to Twilight and the others, it was time to get to work.
>Step one: calm the populace.
>Gotta let the ponies know that you're going to help them.
>Right now they're glad you destroyed Sombra, but they don't really know what you're like beyond that.
>And it's time to show them the real you.
"I'm thinking something intimate, a small podium in the middle of the square, then I'll be able to mingle a little bit before I leave."
>"They'll love that, sweetie!"
>You give Shiny a quick nuzzle.
>The two of you are adorably curled up together in a pile of blankets and pillows in the middle of the otherwise empty throne room.
>There's presently only one throne of course, and you were certainly not going to sit upon one without your extremely handsome co-ruler beside you.
>So the two of you grabbed some chairs, which were horridly uncomfortable, then one thing led to another, and now you're in a very foalish pillow fort.
"Oh, I hope so. Would you mind taking a look at the notes I have for my speech?"
>"Of course I will!"
>He pouts at the paper.
>"Hmm. Split infinitive there. Misspelled 'harmonious'. Semi-colon there would be better."
"Shiny! Don't nitpick!"
>"You asked the stallion who used to proofread Twilight Sparkle's homework for help, what did you expect?"
>An unfortunately familiar sizzle of malevolent flame interrupts you and a panting unicorn covered in snow appears next to a huge sphere of dark crystal.
>"Your... Exceptionality... I... hah... I..."
"Vizier Anon? You look like you can barely stand, what's the matter?"
>"I... finally... found our Royal Financier."
>He sets the ball of crystal down with a donk, and opens it to reveal the wide eyes of a trapped and gagged pony.
>"Had to... chase him into the mountains... Fucking pegasi and their weather bullshit."
"Anon! We talked about this!"
>"No foalnapping, yes, yes, but you must understand your Pinkitude, by abandoning his post in the middle of war, he has committed high treason, as well as grand theft-"
"Yeah yeah, just boop him already."
>"Right."
>One act of justice later, the scared pony quivers before you.
>Anon shakes the melting snow out of his mane, then looks around the room, jumping a bit when he spots the massive throne.
>"Oh no. You didn't sit on that thing, did you?"
"No. Why, would that be somehow against the rules?"
>"Not at all. It's just... well, you don't know what a blacklight is, do you?"
"What?"
>"Nothing. But, um, you probably don't want to touch that until I've gotten a chance to sterilize it. With lots of fire. Just... trust me on this."
"Right."

>>43658972
>You turn your attention back to the scared pegasus.
"Hey there. My name's Cadance, and this is Shining Armor. What's yours?"
>"M-M-Mint Gold, your Majesness. I mean your Highnesty."
"It's nice to meet you, Mint Gold. I hear you used to help run things here when that nasty Sombra was in charge. Well, I promise I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, but I'd really appreciate if you could come back and work for my husband and I. I'm sure the Kingdom would benefit a lot from your expertise!"
>"Y-You're making me ch-choose? Oh no, this is a trick. It has to be? Oh what do I do?"
"I promise it isn't-"
>"I can't, I-I-I-I..."
>Oh, he's having a really rough time of it.
>Wait...
>This is the perfect chance to do a test run of your speech!
>You snatch the papers from Shiny and start to read.
"My dear ponies, um, pony, I know that you are scared and confused by the sudden changes..."
>You feel something magical happen as you read.
>Your voice feels different, flowing like magic.
>All the crystal in the room starts to look more... crystally.
>This must be the power of an alicorn Princess, the same magics that allow Celestia and Luna to inspire crowds of ponies with their mere presence!
"...and so, my promise to you is to build a new Crystal Empire, one founded on the virtues of patience and mercy, where ponies can..."
>Shining is staring at you with stunned adoration.
>Even Anon is wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
"...with love instead of hate, peace instead of conflict..."
>They're really into it now.
>Every trace of fear from Mint Gold has vanished.
"...for the well-being of every citizen, and I hope you may come to see me as not just a ruler, but as a friend!"
>The words end, and the spell breaks.
>Three ponies stare at you in awe, and you awkwardly shift in place.
>"I'll do it!"
>Mint Gold shouts and bows before you.
>"I'll be glad to oversee this Kingdom's economy once again! I won't ever let you down!"
>He rushes out of the throne room.
>Anon shakes himself out of the stupor.
>"My goodness, that was quite something, oh Sonorous One! I even felt my cold dead heart swell in joy upon hearing your words."
"Thank you, Anon. It's still a work in progress, but I had hoped to present it to the public today."
>"Oh, but of course. We'll need to alert the Royal Herald, he'll have the entire populace gathered for your proclamations!"
"Actually, I was hoping for a more casual setting..."
>"Absolutely not. Your words deserve nothing less than to ring out from the balcony upon a sea of listeners!"
>You sigh.
"That's really not what I-"
>"Actually honey, I think I agree."
"Shiny?"
>Your husband hugs you.
>"That was... magical! And I think as many ponies should hear it as possible."

>>43658974
>"Absolutely your Humbleness. And, might I add, it will project a much-needed display of strength. You are here not just to help ponies, but protect them. They are scared that the Ex-King may return. Showing your beauticious self from the splendor of the castle as he once did shall prove definitively that things have changed for the better!"
"Well... alright! Yeah, let's do this!"
>It's a teensy bit terrifying, but you're a Princess now!
>You should be absolutely ready for this!
>Shining laughs and claps his hooves in delight.
>You laugh as well, and the two of you nearly collapse again in a giggle fit.
"Alright, alright. By the way Anon, with the Financier back that should mean we have a complete court again, yes?"
>"Indeed, all the most important ponies have returned to their duties. There are still a few outstanding absences, I'm afraid: the Royal Butler, the Royal Blacksmith, a few minor pages, you still don't have a harem but I'm letting that one drop for now, oh, and the Royal Lion Tamer has vanished as well but since we've never even had a lion I think we can just remove that position altogether."
"Good. Schedule a meeting after my speech. I'll need you to advise me on the itinerary. What would you say are the main concerns of the Kingdom at the moment?"
>"There are always problems, your Pragmaticness, but right now there is only one task that I would consider to be absolutely essential. I fear that if we don't act soon, there could be severe consequences."
"Oh dear. What is it? Food? Housing? Disease?"
>"We need to build up our military."
"We... what?"
>"The army and navy. We need to recruit strong ponies willing to fight and die for the Empire. As soon as possible."
>You cradle your head in a wing.
"How... how is the MILITARY our biggest problem right now? I thought that would be the one thing that Sombra would've made sure to keep fully operational!"
>"He did, in his own way. Which mainly consisted of foalnapping ponies and stuffing them into armour that brainwashed them into obedient drones that would kill and be killed upon demand. With your Radicalness's 'no slaves' policy in full effect, we have lost virtually all of our soldiers. We still have General Meat Grinder and Admiral Watery Grave to command the ponies that aren't here anymore, though! And don't worry, they're not going anywhere. Those two really love their jobs. Like, a lot."
>Shining rubs your neck affectionately.
>"Don't worry, hun. This is something I can handle. Vizier, I'll be assuming command over our armed forces, effective immediately. Tell General Grinder and Admiral Grave that I want to meet them in the war room as soon as we're finished here."
>Anon nods obediently, but his gaze slides over to meet yours with a slightly raised eyebrow.
>You nod, and he relaxes.

>>43658978
>"Excellent sir, that will be a great help. If the Royal Consort is able to also assume the duties of a Grand Marshal, that will greatly simplify the chain of command. I'll arrange the meeting. And might I suggest... a line or two in your Nicety's speech encouraging ponies to enlist would certainly go a long way to help relieve this crisis."
"You want me to..."
>You feel your face fall in shock.
"My speech is about love, an end to violence, and how these ponies should not have to fear for their lives anymore. And in the middle of that you want me to ask them to sign up as SOLDIERS?"
>"Your Wiseness, this is a difficult time-"
"No, absolutely not. Shining Armor will form an appropriately-sized military in due course, and in the meantime I'm sure our combined magic will be more than enough to handle any threat to the Empire. I will not allow my first introduction to these ponies to be a recruitment drive."
>Shining nods.
>"Don't worry my love, I can handle that side of things. You should focus on making these ponies feel safe."
>"But they're not safe."
>The Vizier looks between you and your husband with a cold glare.
>"Just because Sombra's gone, that doesn't mean that these ponies are safe."
>Shining glares back.
>"You think we don't know that? Of course there are dangers, but what these ponies need now more than anything is hope. They need to believe that their Princess is there to protect them, not the other way around. The last thing they need are reminders of war."
>The Vizier is looking directly at you now.
>"And I think your Benevolence is misunderstanding what 'hope' means in the Crystal Empire. You have the magical power to ward off the big threats, just as the Ex-King did, but that doesn't mean much for many of our citizens. We're in the North. Lost ponies get attacked by ursas or rocs all the time. Even the occasional dragon. We also share a border with Yakyakistan, and the yaks have a very long history of using violence as the first and only solution to even the tiniest dispute. And those are just the external threats. When your Awesomeness shielded our capital from the Ex-King's attack, you saved many lives, but there were many others that were lost in that terrible storm. Our lands may seem small compared to Equestria, but we are still an Empire, comprised of many subtly different cultures, holding countless ancient grudges. If our agrarian territories attempt to secede, this city will starve. If our ports close, the economy will collapse. A military is needed assure ponies that the Empire is still intact and will continue to operate better than ever. Boots on the ground, not a Princess in a faraway castle."

>>43658981
>You open your mouth to speak, but the Vizier doesn't stop.
>"Even within the city there is danger. Right now ponies are joyously celebrating their freedom, but it is the calm before the storm. There are many ponies who have committed various atrocities in order to gain favour with the Ex-King. They now fear retribution against themselves and their families, and not without cause. My efforts at policing last night were enough to stop celebrations from turning into riots, but that urge is spreading. When ponies spend their whole lives with a boot pressing on their necks, they don't know how to live without it. Last night a group of foals asked me if 'freedom' meant they didn't have to go to school tomorrow. I stopped another group from starting a bonfire in the middle of the market square. Where the extremely flammable stalls are. In Equestria, 'hope' means wanting a Princess to take care of the big problems so that they can be left alone to manage their own lives, because they know how to take care of themselves. In the Empire, 'hope' is trusting in the Monarch to control everything that could possibly go wrong, because they don't know how to get by without the comforting power of authority. We need to restore that authority. Patrols in the city and the territories. Formed from ponies who are dedicated to the same noble values as our Empress, not opportunists looking for a chance to bully others. And in order to get those numbers, we need your help, your Grace. My apologizes to the Royal Consort, but as far as the Empire is concerned, there is only one pony that they'll truly listen to right now, one pony who will inspire enough to make a difference."
>The Vizier blinks and his expression abruptly loses its edge.
>"You know, or whatever. Of course, it's entirely up to you, your Singularity."
>You exchange a long look with Shining.
>Then you gather up your notes.
"I'll see what I can do."
>"An excellent choice, your Loquaciousness. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I need to take a quick bath. I can still feel the effects from that inspiring speech. All those warm tingles seem to be causing me to care about other ponies, and I think a good soak will help me get rid of this affliction."
>He poofs away, and it almost looks his signature burning darkness is slightly less disturbing this time.
>You can't help but smile.
"Thank you, Anon."

sorry for the wall, that took a lot more words than I thought it would

>>43658988
Excellent green Vizier. Don't worry about it being a wall.

>>43658988
>expecting anons will dislike moar green
Nigga, are you retarded? Keep up the good work, faget. We want moar of Vizier's cynical bullshit and antics keeping the naive ponies in check.

>>43658988
Pretty good. I can not wait until Anon cucks Shining Armor.

>>43659232
I have doubts that vizier anon has a functioning penis given his role as sombra's scheming eunuch advisor

Preunification earth pony Anon returns after 1000 years (got stuck in stone by cockatrice) and sees alicorns as a unholy alliance/marriage between the unicorns and pegasus kingdoms. Tries in vain to kickstart an earth pony revolution to free them from the shackels of the "royal abominations that even science can't explain". Any attempts to explain how important the pricesses are to raising the sun and moon are swiftly reminded that "it wasnt like that in my day". He never fell to the unicorn propaganda about them raising the sun and he sure wont fall for it now.

>>43659248
>eunuch
When was that mentioned?

>>43659232
So far for possible love interests it's
Twilight
Luna
maybe Moondancer
Cadence

>>43659276
>Twilight
>Cadance
I think it would be a nice bit of irony if the Princess of Love™ showed Anon the warmth of friendship while the Princess of Friendship™ showed him the beauty of love.

>>43659276
>pathetic people who have been abused until they internalized their inability to produce a correct answer need a good firm hand
Newly freed mindcontrol soldier

>>43658988
Have you thought about posting your story to ponepaste? With the split from the old thread it can help new readers when it eventually goes down. Definitely been fun to read and I like the speech Anon gives at the end in regards to the empires threats.

>>43659456
>posting your story to ponepaste
Seconding this. Archiving stuff is always a good idea.

>>43659456
>>43659844
3rd

>>43659276
am /moon/fag, me votes Luna. I imagine that after Candy informs her and Sunhorse of the vizier's lack of control, the two of them make a visit to the crystal empire to see for themselves, maybe Candy would make him apologize for fighting them (tho it would be a half apology at best, since, you know) and Luna might try her hoof at helping Anon break free of the geas... I can't think of a reason why she would do that, tho, as her schtik is being subtle by not having nearly as much presence as her sister.

>>43658988
don't apologize, you put a smile on this anon's face in the morning.

>>43659891 (cont.)
I forgot to add the 2nd option if things don't work out between Vizier Anon and Luna: Twilight. while it's true that she'd get frustrated long before she'd feel any positive feelings about Vizzy, I imagine she would refuse to admit defeat. and in her efforts, she would /eventually/ end up feeling something for him.

>>43656370
>You stand outside of the medic room in the hallway with Dash.
>Staring down at the floor, you think about everything.
>Why your cutie mark?
>This guy must be magically powerful, able to throw people back in time.
>Why doesn't he go back in time and win?
>"Anon?"
>Slowly look up to Dash, guess you look really down.
>She takes your chin with your hoof.
>"Don't worry about it champ. We'll figure this out."
>Nod halfheartedly.
>"Anything you want to do right now? School work?"
"Can we go outside into the barracks yard?"
>"You're not allowed to do any physical exercise."
"I think I just want to watch you fly."
>Dash's face softens, then a smirk forms.
>"All right. I got a few tricks that should wow you."
"You've shown me everything you can do."
>"Don't doubt your mother, squirt. Come on."
>Nice thing about being a pegasus, windows are also doors.
>Both of you slip outside and fly to where all the soldiers are training.
>Most stop and say hello to you both.
>"Time to be amazed! Here I go."
>In a blink of an eye, if not faster, Rainbow zooms straight up.
>She must have been filled with anxious energy because she goes to do some slick g-force defying tricks.
>As always, it's awe-inspiring.
>Reminds you just how cool she is.
>Several ponies stop to watch her replicate several Wonderbolt solo maneuvers.
>Cheering encourages her to go faster, be more daring.
>Gives you time to think.
>Pony of Shadows, where does he fit into all this?
>He said he was a piece, that seems to be a clue.
>How can a piece of him exist in whatever future you come from?
>Pony of Shadows was destroyed.
>Someone might be pretending to be him.
>To take advantage of your knowledge?
>He was trying to manipulate you to be a host until he got the real PoS.
>Someone from the future is trying to bring that guy back.
>Can't be an evil Discord.
>He would just break himself out with a human so much earlier.
>Wait, there is another factor.
>How did your mystery foe make sure you were born to Rainbow Dash?
>Look up as Dash goes high into the sky.
>She is trying to do a Sonic Rainboom?
>Dash picks up speed, an air cone forms around her.
>Guards around you hold their breath, waiting to see what happens next.
>There is a calm aura around her.
>No teeth gritting, no over straining, just focus.
>She's getting close to the precipice.
>Then she stops, flares out her wings and slows her descent.
>Well that was a tease.
>As she zooms close by you call out to her.
"Oh come on! Why did you not do the Sonic Rainboom?"
>Hear her laugh.
>"Not at the castle! You want me to freak out everypony?"
>"What's that kiddo?"
>Several of the guards ask you as Rainbow goes back to tricks.
"Only the most awesome maneuver my mom can do. She can go so fast she makes a rainbow shockwave!"
>"Aw dang, really!? Now I want to see that."
"So do I random guard stallion."
>"Silver Pike."
"Like the fish?"
>He deadpans as he shakes his spear at you.
>Some of the guards chuckle as they watch Dash.
>Return to watch her too.

>>43660015
>no SRB
aw((
>"Like the fish?"
kek))
good green as always.

>>43660015
>random guard stallion
Damn it, that guy.

>>43658988
>Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I need to take a quick bath. I can still feel the effects from that inspiring speech. All those warm tingles seem to be causing me to care about other ponies, and I think a good soak will help me get rid of this affliction."
kek, still a shit who hates nice things

>>43659232
Meh. Never been a fan of cucking.

Small sequel to that Flurry Heart alcohol green. Anon looking after Flurry seems pretty funny.
>Be the purple menace spawned from Cadence's loins
Hey uncle Anon!
>"Don't call me that."
I need to write a report on the Crystal Empire's slave uprisings during Sombra's rule! Can you help me since you're like super old and lived back then?
>"Uprisings? I don't remember any uprisings. And if they did happen they had it coming. But I have exactly what you need to write the best report possible!"
>Anon pulls out book titled "The True History of the Crystal Empire." -- Written and Edited by Vizier Anonymous
>There was a heroic looking Sombra on the front cover
>In the corner there was a small stamp that read "Fact checked by real Crystal Pony Patriots"
>"Sombra asked me to write this."
I don't know uncle, it doesn't seem very objective.
>"Really now? And what about the swimming pools in the dungeons?"
You said that that you tied weights around ponies' hooves and threw them in
>"What, did they not invent fun in Crap-questria yet? Kids in the Empire love it, we can try it sometime!"

>>43659456
>>43659844
>>43659891
It is up now: https://ponepaste.org/12216

>>43660626
Me either.

>>43661383
... aaand into the librewolf bookmarks you go.

>>43660015
>So how do you ask her?
>"Okay Anon, I'm ready!"
>Start bouncing on the cloud to let the rain out on Rainbow.
>"Woooo, that's cold! Good stuff, keep it up!"
>Sweat from her intense workout washes off quickly, don't know about the stank.
>Just being blunt might be the way to go.
>Not really a way to sneak it out of her.
>Maybe you can ask Zephyr.
>Was Fluttershy there that day?
>You're pretty sure she was.
>"That should be good!"
>Stop bouncing and float down to her.
>After she stops shaking, you don't need to be in the splash zone.
>Give her the towel.
>"Thanks. That felt great! Wish I was doing that sooner. Plenty of space on the training grounds."
"Yeah, but you usually have to share the space with the guards."
>"Yeah, true."
>Dash is rubbing the towel behind her ears.
>"Now then, what were you thinking about? Don't deny it. I noticed you were thinking while I trained."
>Yeah, yeah good perception when you're working out.
"How did the accident happen? The one that led to me being born."
>Her wings twitch, ears twist towards you while remaining rigid, all the while she's trying to look away and act cool.
>"Blah, way to throw me off. You already read me. What's with the weird question?"
>Before you can answer, she throws up a wing to silence you.
>"No wait, I think I can put this all together. You're not the only one who has a noggin."
>Well this is going to be interesting.
>Stretching out her hind legs to help cool down.
>Raise an eyebrow as you wait for her.
>Cracking her shoulders, she whips out her wing and pulls you in.
>Almost squeak with surprise.
>She flicks one of her feathers off your nose making you twinge.
>"You think you shouldn't be here."
>Dash has a serious face, but she's keeping caged in her embrace.
>"All that vision nonsense. You now think that jerk-wad made sure you were born."
>Well she's not holding the idiot ball.
"Then how did the accident happen?"
>"Well no crazy wizard shot me that's for sure."
>Flashback to Starlight Glimmer doing just that.
>"Doing a trick, like usual. Wasn't paying attention and ran into a dude and fell down. Look Anon, it was pure random chance."
>She flew into someone.
"Who did you crash into?"
>"I dunno. Just a stallion flying by. Anon, you're letting your imagination run wild."
>You're not so sure about that.
>Well if you want to ask Zephyr, you better do it soon.
>That was a long time ago, you'll be surprised if any of them remember the stallion.
>Also a chance he is just a red herring.
>A kiss on the forehead breaks your inner thoughts.
>"Thinking way too hard about this. All that sugar and no exercise is making you stir crazy."
"Probably. Not going to get easier the longer I sit."
>"Grin and bear it, Anon. Doctor might be an egghead, but he knows what he's talking about."
>Hopefully Zephyr won't have a heart attack when you ask him about the time he got to come inside Rainbow Dash.
>"All right, I'm dry enough. Let's see what the rest of the family are doing."

>>43661608
>crash and get a concussion
>decide letting Zephyr come inside is a good idea
sounds about right

>>43661608
I guess zephyr took care of her during recovery and the condom failed but they didnt notice until it was too late?
The interloper mustve wanted someone who was close to the events of the show (dash's son) but also easier to manipulate (a human or zephyr's son). As usual the villain wasnt counting on friendship, unless he was and the cutie mark thing is plan b. It could aslo be the result of bringing our anon's soul into equestria, unless...
Does anyone remember if dashnon was hit by black magic or anything?
Maybe the PoS took away the cutie mark with it?

>>43661608
Well, that was an interesting discussion for sure.

I believe in all anonstallions

>>43658988
>The massive crowd roars in joy.
>Be overwhelmed Cadance.
>You breathe a sigh of relief.
>The speech went well.
>It was easier than you expected to mention the critical need for military volunteers.
>Once you reminded yourself that Shiny would do his utmost to keep everypony under his command safe and sound, you were able to hush those inner doubts.
>You spoke simply and to the point; telling ponies that their help was needed to maintain peace and safety.
>It seemed to go over well.
>You don't know that you'll ever get used to the adoring crowd, though.
>Even your wedding wasn't this intense; it's very different when you have to actually talk instead of just smiling and nodding the whole time.
>Deep breaths.
>Spinel and Quartz, two of the castle servants, cheerfully guide you away from the balcony and towards a table set up with some hot tea and veggies.
>They're very thoughtful, you're considering promoting them to be your ladies-in-waiting.
>"Now, you do have an appointment with the Royal Council in a few minutes, but you make sure to eat up and take a breather after that excellent job, your Grace."
>"If you need a quick rest, Quartz and I would be happy to give the Council a suitable excuse."
>Yeah, they're pretty great.
"Thank you girls, but I feel fine. I'd like to get to that meeting as soon as possible, I think I'm on a roll today!"
>"As you wish, follow us please."
>They guide you down gleaming halls, and eventually you arrive at a sinister door.
>"This chamber is where the former King did most of his daily plotting and scheming."
>"We took the liberty of adding a few throw pillows and incense to replace the smell of blood and brimstone with some lavender and bergamot!"
>"The Vizier has likely gathered the council of advisors already. We can announce your arrival whenever you're ready."
>"Just ring the bell inside if you require any refreshments or amusements during the meeting."
"Amusements?"
>"I'm afraid the castle is fresh out of concubines and orphans, but we could rustle up a sad clown if you wish!"
"Thank you girls, but that won't be necessary, and neither will a formal introduction. I'm sure you have plenty to do already, please don't worry about me."
>They leave after a quick curtsy, and you take another deep breath.
>Even though you're their boss, it's still a touch intimidating to meet the ponies who actually run the country.
>But at least there will be a few friendly faces inside.
>You enter without additional hesitation, and are immediately greeted with various sorts of bowing and scraping.
>"Your Royalosity! We are graced with your presence!"
"Thanks, Anon. But if it's alright with everypony, I'd like to forego the etiqutte while we're here. We're all going to be working very closely together, so let's try to keep things friendly and comfortable."
>"Of course Highest One. If you please, this is your seat."

>>43662959
>The dark room is dominated by a large round table with a dozen chairs placed around it.
>Yours is significantly fancier than the rest, but you'll let that slide for now.
>You take a seat and are immediately grateful for the aforementioned pillows giving you a bit of extra cushioning.
>Shining is already seated to your immediate right and you give him a warm smile.
>Vizier Anonymous is on your left, and he clears his throat as you make yourself comfortable.
>"Well then, before we get into it, I believe some introductions are in order. Your Gloriousness is already acquainted with myself and the Royal Financier."
>He gestures to Mint Gold, seated at the other side from you.
>It's a bit hard to see him due to the stripper's pole located in the center of the table, but you give him a friendly wave.
>"Lord Gold is responsible for directly managing the Royal Treasury, as well as overseeing the Kingdom's economy and intervening when necessary."
>"Without the King around, m-my job should be much easier! I-It's nearly been twenty-four hours since y-your Grace assumed power and y-you haven't made any major personal purchases yet!"
"It's good to see you again. And just let me know if there's anything that you need."
>Mint Gold blushes, his wings shifting in mild embarrassment.
>"Oh... th-thank you."
>"Ah, yergreashazreddychahmdaflappazoffadiswonear."
>You blink in shock at the garbled noise coming from an extremely large and old earth pony to your right.
"I'm... sorry?"
>"Ah yes, your Worthiness, this is Lord Apple Junior. I believe he said 'Your Grace has already charmed the flappers off of this one here.'"
>"Ah, datswaddaisedolroight."
>"Lord Apple is our Royal Horticulturalist. It is his duty to oversee the Kingdom's farms and relationship with the wilderness, as well as act as the representative for all earth ponies within the Kingdom. You won't find a pony with more knowledge on growing things in the Empire, I assure you."
"Apple... Are you by any chance related to the Apple clan of Equestria?"
>"Sahwenmuhdearlilgrancohwenoffintakeshcha, igahdhisselaprahpahklanden?"
>"'So when my dear little grandcolt went off into Equestria, he got himself a proper clan then?'"
>"Oigessiasbinnathowzinyersnallferdaootsaidderz, plentatoimfermuhweeapplpoihta'avafeufoeso'isoan."
>"'I guess it has been a thousand years and all for the outsiders, plenty of time for my wee Apple Pie to have a few foals of his own.'"
>Huh, Apple Pie.
>You wonder if that means the Apples and the Pies are distantly related.
>Eh, it's not like anypony would ever be interested in that sort of obscure trivia anyway.
"Pleased to meet you, Lord Apple."
>"Bah, yuzkankahmehjoonya."

>>43662965
>"'You can call me Junior.' Next to Lord Apple is our Royal Weathermare: Lady Maple Leaf."
>"Aw don't be a keener now, yous can jus' forget 'boat the whole 'Lady' part an' jus' call me Maple, eh?"
>Maple gives you a friendly wing wave.
>"Lady Leaf leads a highly specialized weather team that are all trained for managing severe temperature conditions. What is it you call them, again?"
>"Oh, we're the 'Mounties', on account o' spendin' so much moare time up'n'aboat in the mountains there, y'know. The cold's not so bad neether, long as yous got a nice toque on, eh bud?"
>"Yes, the Mounties are also very capable rescue ponies who are taught how to handle the local wildlife."
>"Gotta know how to wrestle two or tree bairs if yous's goan' oat fer a rip in the snow there, eh?"
>"Similarly to Lord Apple, Lady Leaf is the representative for our pegasi. The last of our tribal ambassadors is our Royal Mage, Lord Immortal Shadow."
>The young unicorn in question gives you a brusque nod.
>Now this colt is far closer to what you'd expect an advisor to King Sombra to look like.
>His black mane falls over most of his face, but it still allows you to clearly see his eyepatch, as well as a large facial scar marring his blood-red fur.
>He might look intimidating if it wasn't for the small scraggle of hair on his chin that barely passed for a beard.
"Hello, Lord Shadow."
>"Heh. You're a powerful one. I can sense your ki."
>The effect of the crazed grin he shoots you is undercut by his squeaky juvenile voice crack.
"You're rather young for a court mage, I imagine you must be quite powerful as well!"
>"I was trained by the Black Master himself. The Darkness within me cannot be contained. He had hoped that I might learn to control it. But I'm often tempted to let it control me."
>Anon sighs.
>"His questionable style aside, he is incredibly knowledgable on the subject of dark magic, and we're very grateful to him for his work in providing magical conveniences throughout the land."
>"Providing indoor light and plumbing to the dumb cattle helps distract my mind from the constant agony of the inevitable Void."
>"Yes, very nice. Seated next to Lord Shadow is our Royal Herald. Lady Twitch Tube was responsible for gathering the crowd today for your Excellentness's speech, and will ensure that transcripts are published throughout all territories in the Empire."
"Oh, thank you very much for your work, Lady Tube!"
>"Just, like, Twitch is fine."
>Your young Herald is currently studying her reflection in a hoof-held mirror while her horn controls a rapidly scribbling quill.
>"And it was no biggie, your Grace is currently like super viral right now anyway. Total main character energy."

>>43662967
"Right, well, still. I am very impressed that you were able to amass such an audience under such short notice."
>"Oh that was easy since they're all totes scared of us still. Getting like six, seven hundred ponies together is easy, they really understood the assignment. Big S was really into that whole rule with fear angle, but in the future we're gonna have to do some giveaways or something to keep engagement up or we're cooked."
"That's, yeah. Alright. Good to meet you, Twitch."
>You don't want to be picky, but it would be nice if you could actually understand somepony else on your council besides your husband and the one pony that's magically compelled to be here.
>You glance to the other side of the table and spot a very normal-looking stallion.
"And who might you be?"
>The stallion lets out a yelp and goes rigid with fear.
>"Your Supremeness, this is Lord Fruit Fly, our Royal Spymaster."
>The stallion takes a deep breath.
>"Yes! That's me! I'm... Fruit Fly, the Spymaster! And... I'm an earth pony!"
>"Lord Fly is truly exceptional at his craft. He is a master of disguise, able to infiltrate any location and blend in seamlessly. Truly incredible work, I really don't know how he does it."
>"Oh, you know. Spy... stuff. Normal pony spy stuff."
>The very average and unremarkable stallion sweats nervously.
"Well I must admit, I wasn't expecting to have a Spymaster in my employ. After living in such a peaceful land as Equestria, all of this is a very big change."
>"CHANGE? NO, I'M NOT- I DIDN'T!"
>The stallion shouts before going rigid again and forcing a smile on his face.
>"I mean, um, don't worry, your Grace! I'll be sure to keep you informed of all important information my swar- my team and I are able to gather!"
"Thank you Lord Fly, I'm sure your service will be invaluable! I look forward to working with you."
>Fruit Fly relaxes, his smile becoming more natural.
>"I look forward to working with you too, your Grace. Your aura is delici- I mean, you're, um, beautiful. Your pony fur is very pretty!"
>Anon sniffs in contempt.
>"Alright, moving on, next to the Spymaster is our Royal Historian."
>An old earth pony mare nods politely at you.
"Oh my, I wasn't aware there were any ponies left who were knowledgable on the Kingdom's history!"
>"HA! There better not be! Not on mah watch!"
>"To be clear, Lady Iron Curtain is as responsible for preventing access to the Crystal Empire's history as she is for preserving it.
"Oh. Right. Well, I'm afraid that policy will have to be one that I immediately change."
>"CHANGE? WHAT? WHERE? WHO?"
"Nopoany's talkin' to you, eh?"
>"AHSHADDYUP, allyayoungins..."
>"All of you are like, so cringe. No cap."
>"ENOUGH!"
>Anon slams a hoof on the table.
>You notice many indents in that general area.

>>43662970
>"Revisiting the role of the Royal Historian is not on the agenda until after the discussion on the abolishment of public flaying, so let us continue with the introductions for now."
>The old mare grumbles.
>"Ol' Kingy never would've let these wishy-washy whippersnappers even consider allowin' commoners to read them tomes! Them filthy mud ponies will smear their muck all over the pages!"
"I'm sorry, but... mud ponies? Aren't you an earth pony yourself?"
"Ah'm a unicorn! Mah mammy and mah pappy were unicorns! Mah horn just ain't grown in all the way yet."
>"And since a basic biology lesson isn't on the agenda, we'll have to let that point rest for today. Seated next to the Royal Historian is our Royal Ambassador."
"That's just a big battleaxe that somepony put in a chair."
>"And that should also serve as an extensive summary of our Empire's foreign policy. Next, we have the Royal Researcher, responsible for scientific investigation and the development of new technologies that will benefit our great Empire."
>"Sup."
>You notice the pony on the other side of Anon for the first time, and slam your head into your hoof.
>Leaning towards Anon, you whisper in his ear.
"Alright, I know that things are done differently around here, but really? That is a foal. He should be in school. He should possibly still be in diapers."
>"Indeed. The position of Royal Researcher was created when General Meat Grinder was called to war against Equestria, and was unfortunately unable to find an adequate caregiver for his son."
>"I can hear you whispering about me, turbofag."
>"As a Lord, young Gear Grinder is entitled to room and board in the castle, as well as private tutors and other privileges befitting the Lord's tender age. In exchange, he lends us the fruits of his... unique creativity."
>You peer past Anon to see the Royal Researcher intently scribbling complex designs across several sheets of paper.
"What are you drawing there, kiddo?"
>"Your mom's pussy."
>"And finally, that brings us to a final introduction for the benefit of the rest of the council. As of this morning Lord Shining Armor, the new Royal Consort, has also assumed the responsibilities of a Grand Marshal by the will of Empress Cadance."
>Shining waves to the others, a shy smile on his face.
>"In effect, Lord Shining Armor shall be overseeing the creation of a new military, one that does not involve mind control or coersion of any kind."
>Iron Curtain seems greatly offended by that.
>"But all the soldiers LOVE those goggles with the little swirly patterns! Our dear King makes 'em himself!"
>"Made them. Past tense. And now they're gone. Entirely."
>Shining answered promptly and with authority.
>He's so sexy when he gets like that.
>You slyly rub his leg with your own underneath the table.

>>43662972
>Iron Curtain seems to reconsider.
>"Well, Ah guess it'll be a'ight if they got a fine-lookin' unicorn like yerself in charge. Pappy always said them glorious pure white unicorns such as yerself were the best sort, like that Celestyah and all them nobles. 'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark."
>"Darkness is not a condition, it's a way of life, a state of being, a madness th-"
>Anon coughs.
>"Yes, thank you Lord Shadow, Lady Curtain. Let's all try to stay on topic. Now once again, for those who missed it the first time, yes Lady Twitch I'm looking at you, Lord Shining Armor is both the Royal Consort in charge of managing her Granditude's harem, which presently consists of one pony, and of her Largeness's military, which presently consists of three ponies. I'm sure he will be able to handle these extraordinary responsibilities gracefully."
"And just to be clear, Shining is my husband. On paper he may just be Consort, but in practical matters he is my co-ruler and I expect you all to defer to his judgment."
>Shining brushes your leg affectionately.
>The others regard your husband with interest.
>"Wuddyalookitdasaizo'im? Howbiggayee? 'Eykids, howbiggizee? Betchakanbaxalil, kantchasir? Ah, yalooklaikaboxa!"
>"He's kinda giving like wholesome daddy vibes."
>"He certainly l-l-looks physic-c-cally impressive enough to lead an ar-ar-army. And do th-that other th-th-thing."
>"I'd love to steal his, um, I mean, base a disguise off of him."
>"Huh. He looks like a fag, but if he married up I guess that makes him an alpha."
>"Just make sure all of you remember that he is part of her Badassness's harem, so hooves off unless you want a flaying."
>You give Anon a glare.
>"Or a booping, whatever. Introductions over. Next on the agenda is Lord Gold's report. So how much exactly did this little coup cost us?"
>As the conversation turns to mundane detail, you glance at Shining out of the corner of your eye at the same moment he does the same to you.
>You smile.
>It's far from what you imagined, but this is everything you've always wanted.
>The love of your life by your side.
>A Kingdom full of ponies that you can help.
>And a beautiful home that only needs a little bit of sterilization.
>Really, it doesn't matter how eccentric your staff is.
>You're still living the dream.
>And no pony in the world can take that away from you now.
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."

>>43662972
>Iron Curtain seems to reconsider.
>"Well, Ah guess it'll be a'ight if they got a fine-lookin' unicorn like yerself in charge. Pappy always said them glorious pure white unicorns such as yerself were the best sort, like that Celestyah and all them nobles. 'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark."
>"Darkness is not a condition, it's a way of life, a state of being, a madness th-"
>Anon coughs.
>"Yes, thank you Lord Shadow, Lady Curtain. Let's all try to stay on topic. Now once again, for those who missed it the first time, yes Lady Twitch I'm looking at you, Lord Shining Armor is both the Royal Consort in charge of managing her Granditude's harem, which presently consists of one pony, and of her Largeness's military, which presently consists of three ponies. I'm sure he will be able to handle these extraordinary responsibilities gracefully."
"And just to be clear, Shining is my husband. On paper he may just be Consort, but in practical matters he is my co-ruler and I expect you all to defer to his judgment."
>Shining brushes your leg affectionately.
>The others regard your husband with interest.
>"Wuddyalookitdasaizo'im? Howbiggayee? 'Eykids, howbiggizee? Betchakanbaxalil, kantchasir? Ah, yalooklaikaboxa!"
>"He's kinda giving like wholesome daddy vibes."
>"He certainly l-l-looks physic-c-cally impressive enough to lead an ar-ar-army. And do th-that other th-th-thing."
>"I'd love to steal his, um, I mean, base a disguise off of him."
>"Huh. He looks like a fag, but if he married up I guess that makes him an alpha."
>"Just make sure all of you remember that he is part of her Badassness's harem, so hooves off unless you want a flaying."
>You give Anon a glare.
>"Or a booping, whatever. Introductions over. Next on the agenda is Lord Gold's report. So how much exactly did this little coup cost us?"
>As the conversation turns to mundane detail, you glance at Shining out of the corner of your eye at the same moment he does the same to you.
>You smile.
>It's far from what you imagined, but this is everything you've always wanted.
>The love of your life by your side.
>A Kingdom full of ponies that you can help.
>And a beautiful home that only needs a little bit of sterilization.
>Really, it doesn't matter how eccentric your staff is.
>You're still living the dream.
>And no pony in the world can take that away from you now.
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."

>>43662970
>sent on near suicide mission to infiltrate the crystal empire under Sombra
>presumably sussed out and put into spymaster job because it was funny
>time skipped a 1000 years into the future????
>entire species just got btfo by the empire's new ruler
This guy never had a chance

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>>43662959
>"I'm afraid the castle is fresh out of concubines and orphans
it's random lines like this that always get me

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>>43663425

>>43662974
>'Course the poor King was the same as them, but he had that dreadful condition what turned his fur dark
wait so Sombra was pony Uncle Ruckus?

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>>43662974
Sombra seemed like an edgy shitposter himself gone out of control.
>"That's just a big battleaxe that somepony put in a chair."
kek

>>43663134
Sadly Cadence accidently blew him up with love, the poor bug will be missed.

Hope to see the bug get more screen time. I can see the tension increasing over time as he has to manage the empires changeling population while not letting the ruler who just faught and won against tne current changeling queen find out. Considering they're 1000 years out of time I wonder if they are receptive to Chrysalis. If there was a different queen when the empire vanished than i could see a fragile counter hive form cause they dont recognize Chrysalis as 'their' queen. Wonder how that would effect Thorax when he arrives.

Now i have the mental image of a bunch of crystal changelings dog piling Chrysalis like how bees do to rejected queens.

>>43663005
What a bunch of colorful characters. Not sure why Sombra tolerated some of them, but he was a flamboyant faggot.

so, we've got
>a scotstallion with a very thick accent (at least that how I imagine him)
>a stereotypical canadian
>an edgelord
>a terminally online zoomare (zoomer mare)
>a millennial new-york-city type bimbo mixed with terminally online zoomare
>TOTALLY NOT A CHANGELING
>genderbent and ponified Joseph Stalin
>a literal inanimate object in the form of a weapon
>an Anon who's much more of the stereotypical Anon than Vizier Anon
this green is getting more and more kek by the post.

>>43663353
A weeby edgelord.

>>43663365
yeah, that somehow wooshed over my head.

>>43663178
What the hell is that pony?

>>43663425
Well the poster was talking about Uncle Ruckus.

>>43663425
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ1Q0OjcMcA

>>43662959
I see
I see it
without a word, covered in white face pant and big floppy shoes, pinkie mopes into the room
"huaaaaaaaaam"
She sighs sits near the corner, but not properly in it.

At some point, mind-conversation.
"I don't have a boooyfriiiend," she contributes.

When everyone else has left, she's still in the meeting room, flat on the floor, holding a baloon shaped like a puppy

>we're broke
Define broke. Sombra was a petty, taunting, dictator who, half the time, was too obsessed with dark crystals to even form sentences, and the empire was tiny enough he could spy on it personally if he wanted, at least enough to scare the masses. Lack of money wouldn't stop him, and having money wouldn't give you freedom from him.

If he can use reputation as a replacement for money while monopolizing grain, so can we, for just a moment.

>>43663005
>"So i-i-in other words, we're c-c-completely b-b-b-b-broke."
Take it up with Celestia. She's the one who decided to vassalize a broke, regressive hellhole in a frozen wasteland that's technologically and economically a thousand years behind. Let her foot the bill. Or supplement the workforce with an army of free undead laborers. Your choice, candy.

>>43662935
What about anoncolts?

>>43664232
they are anonstallions in the making.

>>43664223
The obvious solution is to raid Equestria for old times sake. But really, if a European medieval kingdom just displaced itself 1000 years into the future you'd have academics, historians, and nostalgic Princess who were also banished for a 1000 years banging down the door and paying out of their pockets for the opportunity to be among them.

>>43664223
I also forgot about corvee. Assuming the average crystal pony is so poor they can't pay tax or collecting tax isn't worth it then corvee is the only way to extract wealth from the population in the form of X days of labour owed to the government. I think Papua New Guinea still uses a form of this with their indigenous tribes when they want to build a road through a jungle and I think Rwanda does it because of their culture.

>>43663232
I wonder if Anon changeling guard is somewhere in Canterlot. He be dreading the long train ride when it’s Candy’s turn.

>>43661383
Thanks for putting it up!

>Created 22:22:22
Script gets are everywhere now...

>>43664232
They're gonna make it.

>>43661608
>Probably should have guessed Sunbeam would come back around.
>Moondancer checking in on you surprised you.
>”There you are! Everypony in school is still talking about what you did.
>Moondancer took a protective step back from the over eager filly.
>Their guard escort gives you an inquisitive look.
>You smile an approval so they leave the two with the family and you.
>Moondancer slowly nods, and suppresses a yawn.
>“That’s why I’m here! I just heard what happened at the school after I woke up.”
>Guessing the night owl ex-neet got up not too long ago.
>Sunbeam seems to not hold the incident in a negative light.
"So are the ponies there not angry?"
>"I mean at first they were apparently, but when they found out the full story of how you did it they were all fascinated by it."
>Right, a bunch of nerds learned a new spell exists.
>Moondancer tilts her head.
>"So it is true that you multiplied yourself and filled up the school?"
>"Sure is!"
"Yeah, I wanted to sneak away to find that professor's stash."
>"That's why I came to check in on you. Did you find anything?"
>Sunbeam looks between the two of you.
"No."
>"Wait, who are you ma'am?"
>"Moondancer. Official Archmage of Moon Court. He tried to hire me for arcane research. So nothing about pegasus to unicorn magic translation?"
>"Ooooh, that was for the cutie mark spell."
>Watching these two put their stories together to understand your goals.
>Gotta be careful with how much info you divulge.
>"Then yesterday he was singing some kind of crazy song to his dad. His eyes were glowing!"
>"Glowing? What was that about?"
"Not related to anything recent. Just a recent flair of--"
>Mutter under your breath.
"Clairvoyance."
>Shake your head at their confusion.
"It doesn't matter. All I did was scare everypony."
>Moondancer scrunches her nose.
>"You have a lot of stuff going on don't you."
>Yeah you do.
>Next thing you need to do is find Zecora.
>Asking your parents weird questions is not going to get you anywhere.
>That potion that lets you see the past is the best option.
>"So what was the song about?"
>Sunbeam presses, that event has probably been running through her mind.
"It's kind of personal. I don't want to talk about it."
>"Anon, it's fine."
>Ears shoot straight up when Zephyr sits next to you.
>"Hey, you two. I'm Zephyr. Cool to meet you both. I told him that I was going to leave for the Singing Sea to find any clues on who might have stolen my colt's cutie mark."
>Did he change his mind?
>Hear your grandparents stop chatting and go quiet.
>Sunbeam and Moondancer 'ohs' with new understanding.
>Moondancer rubs her chin.
>"I've read about that in 'Mystical Locations'."
"You're going."
>He pats you on the head with a soft unsure smile.
>"Yeah. I can't let being scared stop me."
>There is no way to know his journey is worthwhile.
>Could be a dangerous waste of time.
>"Is everypony in your family just super brave?"
>Glory Sunbeam you silly filly.

>>43665045
>Glory Sunbeam you silly filly.
bruh, you stole my comment.

>>43665045
>Gotta be careful with how much info you divulge.
That's the problem when you're juggling so many frying pans at once. If you aren't careful, you can quickly pelt yourself with eggs.

>>43665872
>Anon is surrounded by mares
>"If you aren't careful, you can quickly pelt yourself with eggs"
what did he mean by this?

>>43665045
>That potion that lets you see the past is the best option.
well that's gonna be a tall order, considering it specifically needs alicorn magic as a trigger

>>43665930
>pelt with fertilized eggs
More like that.

>>43663990
>If he can use reputation as a replacement for money while monopolizing grain, so can we
So you're saying that Empress Candybutt just has to learn how to be a little bit evil and menacing? Just for a short while, temporarily, to get the Empire up and running again? Rule with just a little bit of fear and threats of arbitrary violence to grease the wheels of bureaucracy until Friendship and Harmony can take over?
Depending on how long Sombra ruled, ponies in the Empire might not have any idea how to function under a regime of "just be nice and do what's needed". (I guess we've already seen that.)

>>43665045
I'm guessing Celestia is going to back Zeph's expedition, possibly by declaring it a royal expedition and giving him some resources for this undertaking. what resources tho? I guess we'll see.

>>43666243
he might ask Celestia to provide that contribution, which is going to risk a visit from a black-maned, green, male and very young alicorn.

>>43666846
Nope

While it's generally a horrible plan to expect cooperation and good nature from self-interested parties, even ponies, candy has a pretty clear social mandate at the moment. While we can't 100% depend on obedience from all parties, the memory of sombra is still in everyone's heads and they seem to have really liked our sunshine and rainbows speech. Since we are currently juxtaposed with sombra, any mercy or joy we might bring is valued more highly than normal, like a lot more, like some portion of the population is rabbid supporters now and we haven't even done anything yet as a leader.

That social mandate is power too, and if we swing it right, the very idea of opposing us should be unthinkable for just a few days, up until they start smelling weakness.

Being publicly and obviously different from sombra can buy us enough time to erect the ghost of a working supply line and an enforcement mechanism for the law.

And yeah, you can paint that as fear if you want, but it's fear in the "I won't support you and give you everything if you don't support me" kind of way.

Plus, if there is literally a pony who's selfish decisions will lead immediately to the starvation of near every other pony, then we would be justified in stopping them and I don't think people would hold that one against us. They probably would love it if the government would use force in their favor for once. And if there is a pony who wants to leverage their personal power to pull power away from us, well that's what the social mandate is for. It's easier to get support for an outrighht revolt against a tyrant than a beloved leader.

>>43667228
It's an expedition into the wilds by a captain and crew. She's probably already investing in it. It wouldn't really make sense if she wasn't.

I mean you could argue that she likes hands-off for a reason, and that the pony compulsion to follow their own desires works best without an outside authority figure interfering, but that logic is 2 headcannons deep and the association between the princesses and the English crown is clearly intentional and the irl navel expeditions where supported by said crown. So it's 2-layer headcanon vs direct archetypal association, and I'd assume the second option in that case.

>>43667433
>It's easier to get support for an outrighht revolt against a tyrant than a beloved leader.
The social contract is a bunch of made up up bullshit.

Sombra was a trad and based citizen of the Crystal Empire and we should aspire to forge our destiny just like he did, janissaries make for excellent warriors, and we may never make peace with Equestria because as long as we exist we will fight until the world ends. Anyone who actually didn't want to be slave would have revolted and died free but they didn't so they obviously deserved it. King Cadence is stronger than Sombra because she killed him but if she loses the mandate by being weak she will be destroyed. Hail harmony or something.

>>43667519
Good thing the social contract has nothing to do with anything relevant.

>just like he did
Well, then we'll have to back it up like he did. You want his methods results exactly, then you use his methods.

You want janissaries, then you have to wait 4 years and fund and operate your brainwashing camps. Our problems are now-problems, not tomorrow problems. If you want to suggest evil things, we need the short-term evil things, not the long-term evil things.

And if you want to skip that and get the same level of obedience immediately, you put the mind control masks right back on, and I see no reason why we should then stop with the soldiers if the country actually wants to be slaves.

>king cadence is stronger
She had massive amounts of help and her main advantage against sombra is that the crystal heart doesn't obliterate her. Cadence was strong-together. Every other pony has both those advantages. While alicorns are strong, revolutionaries literally do stand a better chance of assassinating her the moment she is alone than him, no matter how long she can hole a shield when aware.

Late night bump.

>>43665045
>While you don't think you're brave, voicing that opinion would be met with everyone here objecting.
>"So you came to Canterlot to visit a cutie mark doctor?"
>Moondancer pauses as she asks that out loud.
>"Never really heard of one."
>"What? No, he di--."
>Sunbeam stops herself, that memory of that news probably still fresh.
"I did come here for the cutie mark thing."
>Moondancer leans in as she waits for an explanation.
>Sunbeam Glory looks away with folded ears.
>Really wish you knew exactly what that news video showed.
"It was taken. We don't know why."
>"Oh."
>Moondancer stares at you like she's seen a ghost.
>"That's not possible. Right?"
>Dash floats overhead folding her forelegs.
>"No pony has a clue. Celestia has never seen anything like this before and the doctor got nothing. At this point, we're just going to head back home early tomorrow. Especially now that Zephyr needs to gather stuff for his journey."
"Think Celestia can help out?"
>"She already has."
>Zephyr takes out an envelope.
>"This gives me permission to get aid from the Equestrian navy there. Captain Current said he wanted to help, but I know he has his own ship to take care of."
"Find some companions. Working together with ponies you can rely on will be the key to success."
>He blinks at you.
>You probably said that with way too much confidence.
>"Yeah."
>"Just don't expect to be the leader of the group."
>Dash metaphorically dumps cold water on his head.
>"I can lead a group!"
>"You've never been on a boat."
>"Oh right. Air ships count."
>"Not even remotely."
>They start going at it, and all you can do is watch them go back and forth.
>Again.
>Sunbeam leans over to you.
>"Some reporters tried talking to me about you. My mom told them to buzz off."
"I really hope they don't follow us back home. That news report about me dying is going to be a pain in my pin feathers for a long time."
>"You died!?"
>Face palm as Moondancer yelps with shock.
>Maybe you are more related to Zephyr then you care to admit.
"Mom, speaking of, is there a party waiting for me in Ponyville?"
>She pauses her discussion with Zephyr.
>"Maybe."
"Did Pinkie Pie ask to host it?"
>"Maybe."
"She's been waiting a long time."
>"It is a sore spot for her."
"I hope Bon Bon isn't put out. Well Moondancer and Glory, if I'm heading home tomorrow then I'm glad we got to meet. I'll probably be back to see my new godparents. We should hang out when we can."
>"You might see me sooner. After talking with Velvet, I want to talk to Twilight. To get help with the Old Ponish translation."
>You're sure that's all she wants to talk about with Twilight.
>Mental sarcasm aside, at least Moondancer can resolve her situation.
>Earlier than the show, but this is for the best.
>Dash gives you a nudge.
>"I'm sure your fillyfriend would enjoy a trip to Canterlot when we come back to see Celestia and Luna."
>Sunbeam tilts her head.
>"You have a special somepony?"
>Rural earth pony meets noble mountain unicorn.

>>43668031
>is your family brave
you mean like
my gramgram? My gramgram who heads the club in opposition to yours?

>>43658472
It's going to be wild if Rarity wins miss mlp, right when we had a Rarity edition for the thread header.

>>43668031
>Rural earth pony meets noble mountain unicorn.
now THAT should be interesting to see.
also, I'm assuming Ponka has a lot of bottled stress about not being the party runner, which will explode when Anon returns to Ponyville. she's going to go overboard and overwhelm him with extremely intense partying (even by ponka standards). it could get messy...

>>43668820
>It's going to be wild if Rarity wins miss mlp
You think it will be such a great deal in this thread?

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>>43669538 >>43669743 >>43669981

>>43668031
>Sunbeam tilts her head.
>"You have a special somepony?"
is she surprised, or disappointed?

>>43669523
maybe she thought she could be his fillyfriend.
>cue round 2 of ponified avril lavigne - girlfriend

>>43669523
You’re only attractive to other females when you have one.

>>43662974
>"And this, your G-G-Grace, is the First Grand Royal Mine."
>Your jaw can't help but drop a little at the sight of the vast canyon before you.
>It's the size of a city, and so deep that you placed Canterlot Castle at the bottom, you would still be standing above the tip of the tallest spire.
>Huge walls of rock are staggered, as if they were like a staircase for a massive dragon.
>You can see dozens upon dozens of dark doorways embedded into the stone.
>You can only imagine the depths of where they must lead.
>The entire vista glimmers as carts upon carts of crystals, jewels, and precious metals are carried out of the canyon towards parts unknown.
>"This is the o-oldest mine in the K-Kingdom, and by far the richest. Hundreds upon hundreds of ponies mined these tunnels day and night. From the rarest diamond to the simplest quartz, it could all be found here. Every corner of the world craved our magic crystals and mystical gemstones. Massive freighters packed with rubies were shipped to the Dragonlands in exchange for yet more gold. Our sailors were m-more likely to drown in gold than water. Over land, it is said that the wheels of our caravans formed new valleys, shaping the very land itself as they travelled mile upon mile with their heavy cargo. We had it all. The juiciest fruits of Hippogriffia, the smoothest silks from Neighpon, and the healthiest slaves from Griffonstone were all eagerly traded away for our crystals. And what was once just a simple mountain town became the e-e-epicenter for one of the greatest nations in history. One mine because two, three, dozens. The innumerable small tribes that once dwelt here were unified into a single Empire, and whatever names they had for themselves and these lands were quickly forgotten. Those names did not matter any longer. In every tongue spoken in every civilization we were the Crystal Empire. And even the incomprehensibly powerful P-P-Princesses of Equestria were stymied by our might."
>Mint Gold takes a deep breath.
>"And n-n-n-n-now it's all b-b-been BUCKED TO TARTARUS AND BACK!"
>The vision before you shimmers and vanishes as Vizier Anon cancels his projection and the interior of the Council Chamber reappears.
>Be Cadance but a day later.
>After all the panic over the financial report, you were all at least able to get a bit of real work done by removing a bunch of the most egregious laws.
>Foals can not longer be punished by being forced to eat dirt, and the ban on plaid fabrics has been lifted.
>One step at a time.

>>43669901
>"Language, Lord Gold."
>"I'm s-s-sorry, sir. It's just s-so frustrating! All of our wealth, gone! Have you seen the m-m-market value for gemstones nowadays? Or gold? Every single pony in Equestria is walking around with real g-gold coins in their saddlebags! I was t-t-t-t-talking to a lovely Equestrian mare the n-n-night after the coup, and she said th-that sh-she c-c-c-could just... WANDER into some caverns underneath her village and gather dozens of precious gems whenever she wants! She p-p-puts them on c-c-c-c-CLOTHES!"
>"Yahanizahldootademrah'ahndags!"
>You meekly look at Anon for help.
>"'Yeah, and it's all due to them rotten dogs.'"
"Dogs?"
>"Ya, dags. Yahloikedags?"
"I do like dogs, yes, but are they actually connected to our current problems?"
>"Yes, our investigations have confirmed that fact."
>You turn to face Fruit Fly, who you honestly sort of forgot was in the room before he spoke.
>"It seems that over our missing thousand years, diamond dogs have actually developed a somewhat limited ability to speak, and now even conduct trade with ponies."
>There are a few gasps, as this information is apparently shocking news.
"So in your time, diamond dogs were just... dogs?"
>"Ain't right, givin' dogs any learnin'. Bad enough that we gave it to the mud ponies! Now they're livin' outside of their mud pits, pollutin' our once spotless cities!"
>Mint Gold sighs.
>"So as f-f-far as I can gather, the rest of the world had a bit of a magic crisis after our Empire was sealed, but eventually p-p-ponies founded enough smaller m-mines to restore supply. And since diamond dogs are far b-b-better at digging, and as our once-exclusive mining knowledge became widespread, it wasn't l-long before that supply increased far beyond what our Empire was ever able to produce even in the gl-glory days, before the King started squandering our wealth on whores and wine and novelty weapons and miniatures and..."
>He swallows, and it looks like he's about to cry.
>"Long stor-story short, seventy-four percent of the Kingdom's exports have depreciated in market value by f-factors ranging from twenty to eighty percent. The Kingdom's coinage has yet to be assessed by foreign markets, but I sadly suspect that our crystocurrency tokens will not be a significant ass-asset due to the lack of-."
>"Heh. You said ass."

>>43669905
>"Shut up, Lord Gear. Thank you for your analysis, Lord Gold. This is a severe matter indeed."
>"Sorry bud, I've no' got the brains 'n' all in regaird to numbers and what fer eh, but I was wonderin' 'boat when yous said that we's was 'broake', like. Didja mean that in regairds to thoase of us heer pairsonally, or in more of a large-scaile Kingdom-ish kinda way there?"
>"W-Well, it's hard to say exactly what the c-consequences will be on a l-large scale. For now, our domestic economy should be able to somewhat function as normal. The mines will ha-have to lower prices and reduce expenses, I imagine many of them w-will close in the near future, leaving thousands of ponies with no education out of work, but at least th-that will mean many more recruits for the military, ahaha. Still, the Kingdom has enough basic goods such as textiles and foodstuffs to prevent them from going cold and hungry. Well, not much more than usual, anyway. H-However, the Royal Reserves are a different story. Thanks to King Sombra's fixation on accumulating power at all costs, our treasury is mainly comprised of c-crystals. And it seems that gathering dark energies for mysterious black rituals has g-g-gone out of fashion, because the market value of that sort of arcane energy is currently abyssmal. When you also factor into account that a thousand years' worth of inflation has decimated the value of the few Equestrian bits we do have, and that King Sombra already traded away most of his other valuables to help fund the war, I r-r-regret to inform you all that the new Empress, and indeed all of us who are paid directly by the Crown, are... in very serious trouble. Never m-mind public funding or allocating a budget to the new military, if decisive measures are not taken immediately, there is a high likelihood we will all have to find... j-jobs."
>The room falls quiet in terror.
>The silence is broken by a thump as Immortal Shadow falls over in a faint.

>>43669907
>"W-We could al-always raise t-t-t-taxes, or mine for more crystocurrency tokens, even though there will soon be l-little to tax, and that would just c-c-cause the inflation to get worse..."
>Mint Gold trails off weakly.
>Shining nudges your shoulder.
>"Honey, I hate to say it, but..."
"You want me to ask Aunt Celestia for help."
>"She's always been happy to help ponies in need. She could invest in some new Imperial industries, maybe provide education and training for the miners?"
>Iron Curtain gasps at that.
>"Beggin' yer pardon mah Lord, but if yah did all that then Ah'd bet mah horn we'd have a revolt on our hooves. Sadly, the ig'nant masses just can't 'ppreciate the wisdom of their betters. They see the Princesses as the enemy."
>"It pains me to say it, but Lady Curtain is correct. Your Cleverness has earned her place here by virtue of her service to the Kingdom, and the Royal Consort has earned his place by his service to your virtue. But they will certainly not accept charity from the nation that, from our point of view, we were just at war with a few days ago."
"Why? Haven't they experienced enough suffering from Sombra? How could they possibly hate Equestrians so much when all we've done is try to help?"
>"That's just it. You help even when no help is requested. You saw those mines, all the wealth that this Kingdom once possessed. For a pony born living a thousand years in the future it may be difficult to understand, but the sheer pride that comes with being able to live in the Crystal Empire... it's blinding. When the lowliest labourer sees opulence all around him, even if none of it will ever be his, it changes a pony."
>"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T! I MEAN NO IT DOESN'T!"
>"Quiet, Lord Fly. That pride has never left the populace, even during the worst of the Ex-King's madness."
"I have my pride too! It pains me to have to ask the Princess for help, but things will become dire if I don't. Sometimes ponies just have to get rid of their pride."
>Anon's frown grows deeper, and his voice takes on an edge of genuine bitterness.
>"I don't disagree. I'm simply trying to explain that asking for aid is not a realistic option. There will be few citizens of the Empire who would support it, and fewer who would dare voice that support publicly. It would be seen as demeaning pity at best, and a hostile takeover at worst. It would destroy your Honorability's reputation and quite possibly lead to civil war."

>>43669910
"War? When the Kingdom is finally free and able to recover from Sombra? Out of nothing but sheer pride?"
>"It was that sheer pride that destroyed the Ex-King, remember. Your Leadership may have returned the Crystal Heart, but it was the hearts of our citizens that imbued it with enough power to banish that monster."
>He shakes his head, and rubs it with a hoof.
>"I know. It's stupid and frustrating, but at the end of the day you can't have one without the other. You can't have ponies determined enough to defeat something that powerful and that evil with nothing more than a positive attitude and a big rock, and also have mentally well-adjusted ponies who make rational decisions for their own direct benefit. Crystal ponies are who they are, through good times and bad."
>You search the faces of the ponies around you, searching for a sign.
>Then you hang your head and sigh.
"I'm sorry, everypony. I wish I could do more, but no matter what we decide, there will be dire consequences. I just don't know what to do..."
>A hug from Shiny makes you feel a little better, at least.
>"Alright, fuck it. Time to take accountability. I know what we have to do."
"Anon? You have a plan?"
>The Vizier slams a hoof on the table, his eyes filled with a fiery resolve.
>"This country is poor, prideful, uneducated, depleted of resources, ignorant, superstitious, socially regressive, corrupt, divided, unwelcoming to foreigners, teeming with psychopaths, lacking the most rudimentary sort of common sense, unable to fight a war, and sexually degenerate beyond measure. The solution is clear: we must do what every similar nation from my homeworld did when faced with this exact scenario."
>He grins with pride.
>"We sell the fuck out and turn this shithole into a tourist attraction."

>>43669523
>is she surprised, or disappointed?
Probably a bit of both.

>>43669912
>tourist attraction
See, I told you she'd have to turn to evil to save the Empire.

Great stuff as we've come to expect, Vizier Anon. (Or is it Kill-ogram? Sounds more evil.)

>>43670116
kill-ogram sounds edgy. go with that

>>43669912
kek green, please update the ponepaste.

>>43669912
“I don’t know what to do auntie. These ponies are prideful and see you as the bad queen.
With Love,
Cadance”
>”My precious niece. Thank you for continuing to write. Your situation is difficult and I wish I could do more. As an aside you still need to gather your belongings from here. Including your equity from your various bank accounts. They are yours after all, and thus belong to the Crystal Empire. A rather deep account. With lots of zeros. Please keep in touch.
>Sincerely,
>Celestia.”

>>43669912
So many possible attractions:
>Take a picture with the crystal heart!
>Try out for the Royal Harem!
>Visit a city of crystal!
>Visit the location where Luna got her ass kicked!
>Buy a Cadence plushy!
>Hear about ancient history the princesses tried to bury!
>Build an igloo!
>Get called a slur by a crystal pony!

>>43669905
Not sure if accident, but in confirming that the applepies came from the empire, it is now likely that the job of rock farming then also came from the empire. It is also now slightly implied that both families started out well off financially, coming from an economically superior nation.

Anyway, the important bit is that the pie family basically helped devalue the gem trade and bankrupted the empire, along with the dogs.

>>43669912
>unwelcoming to foreigners
>be a tourist trap
As I recall, basically every human population kind of hates their tourists even as they make money off of them. That would be worse when the population is already unwelcoming, and ponies can be very unwelcoming.

Unless you're going to go full vegas and dump your whole economy into entertainment, generally you need like fantastic natural wonders for this to work. The natural wonders, in this case, are the houses people live in and the streets themselves, and the palace, which are not natural and cannot really function as high-throughput attractions. Making attractions out of buildings generally requires, like, culture, like art and entertainment and food. The crystal empire is a bunch of uneducated miners and amnesiac fighters, apparently, and not thespians nor high-quality service ponies.

So, this solution requires skill we don't have and time we don't have and infrastructure we don't have and a reputation that attracts people which we don't have and which should normally take a long time to get.

But, there will be an initial group on their way to investigate us right now, simply out of adventure and historic curiosity. So, there is a shot.

Also, on earth the unequal currency-value between countries means that 1 unit of a tourist's money can be worth a lot in the local money, which means this plan works best if we intentionally cause a ton of inflation first. So we've got an uphill battle here.

>we'll have to get jobs
... what are bills? Do crystal ponies have power bills? Are our expenses from rent? Is water and food just expensive around here?
The more time our advisors spend on "jobs", the less spying and taxing they do. Or, in the case of the pony in charge of crops... the less efficient our food is grown on a national scale? What happens if they stop doing whatever they do and instead stay home and tend their own gardens? Does every other farmer start fucking up in some manner?

>>43669912
>>43670463
Crystal ponies are well-meaning but don't entirely get the concept of tourist attractions.
>Visit the torture dungeons!
>Try the swirly goggles!
>Run the infinite staircase!

>>43670520
>Do crystal ponies have power bills?
That's a good point. Was the Empire under Sombra like the Soviet Union, so ponies would just get assigned a place to live and no one paid rent? Would the crystal ponies just keep going to their jobs (and put in the minimum effort) because no one knows what else to do? Will there be "free market" reforms now, and will those be a disaster?
Or is it stupid to jump to that analogy when realistically it was probably more like a feudal system...

>>43669907
You know, if what we have in extreme abundance is dark crystals which were collected specifically because they represented power according to sombra, then that seems like the resource which we should be attempting to leverage. They can't be liquidated, due to low popularity, but they can be used, one way or another.

Evil asbestos? Evil water sterilization devices? Evil heating?
No those don't sound right

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>>43670873

https://ponepaste.org/12220
I compiled my snippets for dark advisor Anon, added a final one in there at the end. I'm glad someone picked up my prompt and is going for it, I not good at longfics.

>>43670671
I've already made "The Amazing Orator" headcanon for anything involving the Crystal Empire.
Thanks for bundling it all up and posting.

>>43670637
Certified Dark®™ crystals for goth ponies and theatrical use? Magic blacklights?
There's got to be some obscure magical research use for them at least.

>>43670558
>Button dares Rumble to do flying leaps backwards up the stairs
>Visier Anonymous planned for this and installed a Gay Baby Jail at the top in the unlikely event somepony circumvents the infinite trap

>>43670891
We can't condone selling them for demon summoning rituals and/or lifeforce-into-mana converters, and if we did that would represent a major security concern and potentially lead to our destruction or just general crime. So it has to be some large-scale industrial use that takes advantage of whatever "power" they represent, without putting them on store shelves where they can emotionally corrupt passing ponies and eventually get scrapped and turned back into a large pile of dangerous rocks and then used for crafting cursed objects.

... What about, like, pranks? Can they be turned into curses that are minor enough to be used for entertainment purposes but cursed enough to resist deconstruction without purification?
... Weren't we looking for some manner of entertaining tourists?

>>43668031
"Lily is my fillyfriend."
>"You say that so easily. Listen Sunny."
>"Sunbeam, Mr. Zephyr."
>Dad lightly leans on you, ready to brag.
>"There was a town wide competition to be his fillyfriend. They were all fighting hoof and tail."
>He has his typical shit-eating grin.
>Sunbeam blinks owlishly at you.
>"Really?"
"Dad, It was not nearly that interesting. Either way, yeah I have a fillyfriend."
>"He's downplaying it. So many fillies were trying to get their hooves on him."
>Puff out your cheeks with annoyance.
"Dad!"
>Maybe you should just let him have this.
>Won't see him for a very long time when he leaves.
>Glory has a more neutral expression.
>"Never heard of a colt being the center of attention. At my school it's usually a filly that is a target for all the foals."
"Bit of an inversion."
>"So this party of yours? Is anypony allowed to show up?"
"If Pinkie Pie had her way, everypony would be at every party she throws."
>Her horn lights up as she writes down a letter, it vanishes in a twinkle.
>Before you can ask what's up, the doors open up and Celestia trots in.
>"Hello dear ponies. Today has been eventful. Oh! Sunbeam Glory and Moondancer! What brings you both here?"
"My shenanigans at the magic school."
>"Hmm, yes. I suppose that would bring Moondancer over. Wouldn't it my student?"
>Moondancer shrinks as she looks up to her former teacher.
>"I, uh, just wanted to check in. I'll go now!"
>A large white wing springs open to block her path.
>"You are welcome for dinner. My sister should be joining us soon."
>"I really should get back to work."
>Dash groans as she rolls her eyes.
>"Just join us for dinner. Glory, do you need to be brought back to your mom?"
>"Yes Ma'am."
>"Just Rainbow. I'm not that old."
"See you later Glory!"
>"Take care of yourself, Anon."
>Sunbeam waves goodbye before Dash escorts her out.
>You blink, and find yourself in a full body hug as Celestia picks you up.
>"You are precious. I'm so happy you made friends with her."
>Cheek is squished by hers, so your voice is muffled.
"I didn't deserve it, but I'm glad it worked out. Did dad tell you what he's doing?"
>She nods, which just tickles.
>"A lot of ponies care about you."
>Without pausing, she just kisses you on the forehead.
>How did you get so lucky?
>Makes you worried this was set up on purpose.
>"Now then, lets enjoy a family meal and you can tell me what you did today!"
"Nothing because the doctor is a tyrant! I want to fly laps around the castle."
>"Just making sure your recovery goes smoothly. Hope you like cake for dessert."
>Great, more sugar.
>Luna drags herself in, yawning the whole way.
>Then she proceeds to snatch you from her sister and does the same thing.
>"Evening everypony. Could somepony please turn down the sun?"
>"In a few hours dear sister."
>Princess Luna looks over to Moondancer with a raised eyebrow.
>"Arch-mage?"
>"Yes my princess?"
>"Ah, you were visiting. Very well. Join us for dinner before you begin your work."
>Moondancer sighs.

>>43671351
poor neet is gonna get loved no matter how much she protests. work isn't everything, you nerd!
also, I imagine anon, dash and dancer will be riding back to ponyville on celestia's golden chariot, the one that twi rode in s1e1.

>>43669912
>This country is poor, prideful, uneducated, depleted of resources, ignorant, superstitious, socially regressive, corrupt, divided, unwelcoming to foreigners, teeming with psychopaths, lacking the most rudimentary sort of common sense, unable to fight a war, and sexually degenerate beyond measure
I don't know why this part in particular made me kek

>>43672669
my guess is the intensifying absurdity is what made it kek.

>>43671351
>"So this party of yours? Is anypony allowed to show up?"
Oh yeah, She wants to come to the party too.

>>43673107
Not sure if her mom is okay with this. Sunbeam is a mini-Sunset so she should already have friends at the magic school.

>>43673107
>>43673299
sunbeam being in anon's welcome back party might be interesting but also potentially awkward and out of place. IDK how the ponyville foals will take a canterlot filly student from celestia's school for gifted unicorns suddenly appearing in ponyville alongside our hero, let alone the rest of the town.
Moondancer has a reason, but sunbeam? she'd be there literally just for the party, then she'd have to make the whole trip back to canterlot...

>>43670463
Ah yes the experience of touring the great Crystal City!

>"Been a slave most of my life, never had the time for parties"
>Pinkie put some money into the stallion's hat
>"Thank you Madam, you are too generous"
>Rarity put some bits into the hat
>"You remind me of my friends, they're too sick right now so I have to do double duty for them"
>Rainbow Dash put some money into the hat
>"Perhaps one day if I have enough money I'll buy back my family's generational Snowberry farm"
>Applejack put some bits into the hat
>The stallion shakes his hat at Fluttershy
>"...I'll need to feed the animals too."
>She put some money into the hat
>That stallion trots over to you, his hat about to rip from the weight of money in it.
Girls, you cannot seriously believe everything this stallion says!
>They all glare at you and you reluctantly put some bits into his hat
>That stallion stands there and jingles his hat at you more
What? I gave you something!
>"You sound rich Twilight, it's the Canterlot accent" Pinkie says
>"Really Twilight, you could stand to be more generous coming from such a well to-do background." Rarity adds
>You grit your teeth and toss more bits into his overflowing hat
>He smirks. "You're too kind"
>You groan
I hate this city...

>>43671351
>You don't think Moondancer is used to this level of social interaction.
>She tried it once with her birthday party that Twilight bailed out on.
>This is with Celestia and Luna, both are her bosses and rulers.
>So you sit next to her to see if you can help out the stressed out nerd.
>What surprises you is that Zephyr is helping.
>Not on purpose.
>"I'll tell you what, I can see myself taking on the high seas and whipping any pirates I come across."
>By being his boisterous egotistical self thus having everyone's attention on him and not on her.
>"Seaponies live out there. Think I can woo a mermare?"
"How long can you hold your breath?"
>"That shouldn't be an issue if you can acquire one of their pearls so you can turn into a seapony."
>Celestia quietly adds as she watches how the family is reacting.
>Which has been rather subdued.
"You should get one of those as soon as possible. Make friends with seaponies."
>>"That song didn't mention anything about them."
"Song was about songs. Everything else is up to you."
>"Befriending a seapony shouldn't be too hard. Right?"
>"They are like everypony you meet. A pony of the feather and a pony of fish scale. You might even meet one just like your sister. "
>Celestia smiles as she adds that last part.
>Zephyr seems unsure, not that anypony who doesn't know him can tell.
>He's still smiling, but his eyes twitch with worry and tail is curled around his left leg.
>Dash picks up on it quickly.
>"I'm sure some of them will find your landlubber lifestyle interesting."
>"I live in Cloudsdale!"
>"Which is above the mainland. Any pegasus town that drifts over the ocean is way different."
>Would be cool to visit one of those one day.
>There are very few pegasus sky towns to begin with.
"At least Captain Current will be with you. You can still fish."
>Fluttershy had taught him when he wanted to do some father/son bonding.
>He's okay at it.
>Took a few tries.
>"Zephyr, dear, just be mindful of anything dangerous before you dive. If you see a shark-fin, don't go in."
>Posey presses, probably the first time she's voiced anything since he's committed to going.
>To your surprise he has an answer.
>"Unless it is a nurse shark, mom! They are great medics. I read about them."
>He's very proud of himself.
>Luna sighs as she finishes her cup of coffee.
>"Sister, how did your legislation go? Concerning media matters."
>"I was able to expand upon the Harmonious Hero law."
"This is about me?"
>Celestia nods as she sips her evening tea.
"Can I see this news video that Glory was talking about?"
>"No."
>Her answer was absolute and gave it a finality.
>So you push back.
"I want to see what everypony saw. It was bad enough to change Sunbeam's mind. I want to know what they saw."
>Dash hits the table with a 'hey'.
>"No means no. I don't want you to see it either."
"So if I get to Manehatten one day, it's not going to be a problem?"
>"Anon."
>Luna answers coolly.
>"I worked very hard to make sure your mind is at peace."

>>43674392
Well then I guess we'll avoid being predated on by teeth in the dark again? Out of politeness?

Unfortunately, due to luna's help, anon does not have the information to know what exactly she protected him from, and so cannot make a distinction between what he fears and what others might assume he could fear, and so cannot make any accurate comeback or concession along this line.

>>43674392
>"That shouldn't be an issue if you can acquire one of their pearls so you can turn into a seapony."
Interesting. That isn't exactly common knowledge.

>>43674392
>That shuts you up cold.
>Not going to broach that anymore.
>"That's better. Worry not, Anon. We will take care of it."
>Celestia smiles, as she pushes a slice of cake over to you.
>"Now get your sugar. If only my own doctor subscribed me cake."
"Yay me."
>How are you even going to sleep tonight?
>Moondancer pushes her plate away with a satisfied sigh.
>"I get to save my ramen for tomorrow now. I need to get back to work. Thank you princesses."
>Luna breaks her disapproving glare on you and switches over to a more regal stance.
>Which is really cute in her current state.
>"We expect a great deal, young Moondancer. Please keep us up to date on your work and keep our advice in mind."
>"Of course princess! I won't disappoint you."
>She almost grovels as she backs away from the table.
"Bye great and powerful Archmage Moondancer."
>"Don't call me that!"
>Oh she's going to roll that title in her brain tonight.
>Wave goodbye to her with a wing.
"Good luck with Star Swirl's spell. I can only imagine how many layers you'll need to peel back."
>"Um, Celestia."
>Ears perk up when Grandpa Breeze speaks up.
>"Sorry, Princess Celestia."
>"Go on Gentle Breeze."
>"Well, with what happened with Dr. Blotch. What is the plan now?"
>Well this should be interesting."
>"Dr. Blotch gave me his initial report and is going to be looking into other avenues. I will be tasking my faithful Twilight Sparkle into looking into the Pony of Shadows."
>Rainbow Dash hits the table with an eager hoof.
>"That goop was basically hitching a ride right? We find the real one and beat it until it gives us answers. If he does have Anon's cutie mark, then we beat him harder to take it back."
>"Yes. I will be having my mages looking into new spells to stop him."
"Not the Elements of Harmony?"
>"Only as a last resort. This operation I wish I could say I want you to stay out of danger as much as possible."
>"Could you explain more?"
>Posey asks with a little fear building up.
>"Unless I'm proven otherwise, each bearer of an Element of Harmony will need to find the artifact connected to their Pillar counterpart. That I need to confirm first."
>Celestia gives you a most apprehensive look.
>If what she says is right, you might have to go to the dragon lands to find the fire shield.
>"What is it?"
>"I will tell you if it comes to that. Again, I have many agents looking into this. I don't want to put Anon in danger ever again. Hopefully, it won't be necessary for him to find it."
"You've been working on this since we talked about it."
>"Yes, but it hasn't been long enough to be conclusive. We focused on the Tree of Harmony."
>Which ended in disaster.
>Probably eats at her.
>"So then, Anon."
>Oh, getting properly addressed by Celestia.
>"What are you planning on doing next?"
>Uh.
>"Since you didn't reveal that you were going to sneak off at the magic school to me, you clearly have several plans."
>They all look at you.
>Great.

>be Anonymous
>freshly minted unicorn stallion
>run away from society
>something something gay ass friendship (scary)
>build shack in woods
>do wizard shit
>hellyeah.jpg
>a year passes
>feel a little lonely
>feelsbadman.jpg
>idea
>dreams
>dream magic
>cast spell to let you "connect to the realm of dreams"
>probably something lucid in there
>be anon in dream
>soawesome.jpg
>see purple smart
>dat flank
>>rape
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>wake up
>not lonely anymore
>months pass
>forget about dream
>moon's been looking kinda scary lately
>Moonbutt appears
>fuck.jpg
>she looks mad
>biggerfuck.jpg
>get foalnapped
>get stuffed into a suit
>get shoved in front of an alter
>get married to a pregnant Twilight Sparkle
>what

>>43675337
kek. I'm betting everypony else is just as confused as he is as to how the fuck some mare got pregnant IRL thru a dream...

also /r/ing anonstallion reaction images if there are any drawfags left in this thread. let's up the testosterone in this board.

>>43675019
>Anon is stumped for once
Happens to the best of us, I guess.

>>43675019
>"Bye great and powerful Archmage Moondancer."
>>"Don't call me that!"
>>Oh she's going to roll that title in her brain tonight.
top cute

Luna should find more ponies whose name includes the word "moon" and assign them to roles in her moon court.

because it'll be funny, so why not?