big ass mare

>>43641477
>Thread question: Is there such a thing as a mare that's too big?
imo real hoers size might already push the limit

>>43641486
this.

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>>43642276

>>43641486
>>43641489
idk I think i'd like a big mare for me

>>43641477
>>43641486 (Me)

desu it might be a more interesting to ask the importance of size in RGRE.
Is being beeg considered a common trait of the "fair sex"?

Stallion in the show are often larger than mares

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>>43642297

>>43641496
>>43641498
i´d like a mare small enough to manhandle with some elbowgrease, but big enough not to be pocket pet sized, ya know? perhaps big dog sized? slightly smaller than JRHNBR, top of her head to my chest, that´d be nice.

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>>43642316 >>43642479 >>43643808 >>43644792

>>43642276
here's the chart

>>43642297
I never understood this chart because most horses are not taller than a grown man... draft horses yeah but otherwise no

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>>43641477
I still headcanon the pie sisters being bigger than the average mare

>>43642297
JRHNBR is the perfect blend of huggability and strength, IMO.

>>43641498
We have that cliché of "foal chasing legs" being attractive.
So athleticism at least is still attractive in males.

>>43642822
Makes sense for earth ponies. The others not so much.

>>43642316
There are 6 lines, from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. The chart implies that Anon is a 5' manlet.

>>43642297
1 for alicorns
2 for regular ponis

>>43643576
If your eyes weren't retarded, you'd see that the space between the lines isn't consistent, along with no actual numbers or measurements listed, so the only actual assumption we can make is that those lines represent the height of each level of poner

>>43643828
Prove me wrong, brainless nigger

>>43643828
>>43643830
The mares would be CHEERING for you two to fuck.

Being big almost certainly isn't attractive in a mare, considering that many stallions are a fair amount larger and they seem to often be portrayed as the most attractive and manly

>>43643842
Not the toxic yaoi

>>43643858
>Find yourself in the erotica section of Twilight's treebrary
>Figure you've got time for a quick wank
>Snag something off the shelf at random
>Disgust.png
>It's stallions kissing
>Grab a different book
>Stallions kissing
>Different book
>Stallions kissing
>You keep going through book and book and book
>Every single one
>Stallions
>Kissing
>Fuck RGRE

>>43643824
>t. coping manlet

>>43643871
>Write porn for males
>under a pseudonym of course
>becomes smash hit as nothing else had been published before
>mares don't write porn or stallions and stallions aren't allowed to write
>become a menace to public morality with your dirty words, discussion of your books is banned at any respectable book discussion venue
>everyone's read it though
>including mares
>They found it awoke something in them when they read about a male taking charge
>tfw you introduce equestria to coltdom

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So, is DangerousAmoeba really dead?

Okay, so i've been thinking about griffons right?

they're clearly like another species to the ponies (i know, actual fucking genius) but i mean like, in the fantasy race way.

What i'm trying to say here is that i think that other species (especially ponies because hot damn those fuckers are ignorant) view griffons the same way the races of middle earth viewed dwarves in lord of the rings.

A lot of folks think that there is no such thing as a male griffon. This is due to the fact that male griffons are mostly nocturnal since male lions are only really active at night, And thus are rarely seen especially by foreigners who don't know where the boys like to hang out and gossip.

Anyway, i imagine this leads to all sorts of misconceptions and ludicrous myths about how griffons reproduce.

>"Oh, a griffon is born when a lion and an eagle-"

>"Don't be rificulous! Everypony knows griffons just have their way with whatever colt they find alone and that's how more griffons are born."

>"Huh, i thought that was how hippogriffs were born."

>>43644183
I'd be okay with mismatched bird/feline griffon types. Griffons with 'prey' bird parts have more colorful males.

>accidentally kick colt in the nuts
>executed in public
gotta be careful out there

>>43644183
>Don't be rificulous
Read it as
>Don't be grifficulous
So now I'm picturing griffons shoving "griff" into words the way ponies do with horse words

>>43643871
>Find yourself in the erotica section of Twilight's treebrary
>Literally.
>You're looking at an illustration featuring a character with a suspicious likeness to you. Being balls deep in a unicorn.
>What the fu-
>Pull another book, same thing there, with the unicorn even more closely resembling a certain bookish pony you know.
>You look at the author
>Nighttime Coruscation
>Yep, that tracks
>You someBODY Twilight's door, shaking the evidence in your hand, demanding some explanations
>She manages to teleport away, but her face told you everything you needed to know.
>That lil' horny shid...

>>43644183
Honestly, I think in-universe race might work humorically (As in, every race represents differing ratios of various base aspects)
We have Equines (Ponies, Saddle Arabians. And then *probably* Zebras, Yaks, Deer, and just any other ungulate that shows up)
Felines (Abyssinias)
Avians (Parrots)
And then we have Feline-Avian hybrids (Griffons)
Avian-Equine hybrids (Hippogriffs, Pegasi)
The only hybrid I don't think exists in any of the lore is a Feline-Equine one.
Sphyixes technically represent Feline-Avian-Equine hybrids, but I think the Sphyix was its own unique being since we only ever see the one.

And then I think Centaurs and Gargoyles are part of a single, wildly dimorphic "monster" race. Mostly because Tirek and Scorpan are brothers and each is the only representative of their respective races that we see. I also think Minotaurs are part of this "monster" race. But if that's not the case and each is their own distinct species then you'll be tickled to know that if Centaurs exist, and Minotaurs exist, then "Humanoid" must be swirling around Equestrians genetic pool somewhere.

Bringing it back to RGRE how would Iron Will even work? An aggressive Janefilly motivational speaker that challenges ponies' sense of mareculinity to get them to stand up for themselves?

>>43644575
In G1 and, arguably, S8 a lot of "monsters" are the products of magic. This is implicitly true in ambiguous G4 oldlore in terms of Grogar and Discord both having a lot of association with magically making monsters.
>Bringing it back to RGRE how would Iron Will even work?
It's a very different direction from where you're going with it but I actually quite like having groups like minotaurs not be RGR. For groups that are very pony-like (e.g. Hippogryphs) they'd keep the pony-like culture, but outsiders not fitting into the same categories gives a nice contrast. Like, they're not a pony anyway and don't fit into the dynamics, so you can have nice scene where there's a defense summit and it's one dragon and like thirty mares and stuff like that.

>>43644575
Personally, i don't think the minotaurs would necessarily be matriarchal at all. I think they would be a society that values martial prowess above all and doesn't view gender as anything more than what your body looks like.

The way i like to interpret RGRE is that the reason their world is matriarchal is the same reason we're patriarchal (That being a slight biological advantage and an obsession with property). But instead of a physical advantage like in our case you could either say that mares have naturally more potent magic (i.e. clockwise/counterclockwise horn spiral if anybody remembers that) or just use ol' reliable and say that it's due to a gender imbalance.

Now, because Equestria is presumably the most powerful and influential nation on Equus, we can assume that is the reason most other species also follow this matriarchal way of life, even if they don't have the same biological features that caused the matriarchal society in the first place

In my mind this is also why certain races DON'T have matriarchal societies.

-the storm beasts are active enemies of Equestria
-the yaks are too far from and have too little interaction with Equestria for it to influence their society

And as for minotaurs, i don't really think they care whether or not a bunch of tiny pacifistic marshmallow rainbow ponies approve of the way they run their society... because they're a bunch of tiny adorable harmless rainbow marshmallow ponies.

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>>43642297
>hoers
The biggest kisses

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>>43643923

>>43644624
Cute and harmless until one of those ponies turns you into a frog.
Minotaurs and cows probably have a working relationship.

>>43644503
>Read one of these books
>...
>What the flying dickens is this shit?
>Human anatomy does NOT work like that!
>ESPECIALLY REPRODUCTIVE ANATOMY!
>You're distracted by a purple muzzle poking into the room
>"A-anon?.. Are you there?"
>Twilight slowly walks in before she spots you.
>You slam the book down on the table, making her jump.
"You know, I expected better of you, Twilight."
>She's already sullen, but your voice hits her HARD.
"First, you did not ask me for a permission to use my likeness"
>She's almost on the verge of tears
"And second, the most insulting at all, you did NOT do your research!"
>You reached for your belt
"And I intend to fix that"
>A very thorough lesson in human anatomy ensued, followed by horsemarriage and an internationally successful writing career specializing in human-featuring smut.

>>43644183
wew, that's new!
Another fun parallel to add here is that unlike Elves and Men who were woven by Eru's will, Dwarves were made in secret by Aulë to serve as workshop assistants. When he was found out, the Vala of Craftsmanship tried to destroy his servants, but Eru took pity and gave a soul to the Dwarves, after which the Seven Fathers were spread out to awake and found their Houses.
While this fits better to hippogriffs (being made by a sky god and sea goddess, who then made the transfiguration pearl), and the way that there aren't many visible differences between sexes wherever non-main-cast shows up; your idea feels quite novel, mainly because it tries to borrow from leonine habits while past speculations regarding griffons were made with the avian front half in mind.
After all, pretty plumages of songbird-like griffons are hard to fully grasp in splendor at night. (ulterior completions can be made regarding other categories' habits but I am too tired to do that for now)
>>43644624
>not view gender as anything more than what your body looks like
But pregnancy imposes a hefty nutritional and dexterity debuff, which in a purely kratocratic society would set back minotaur women. How would that disincentive be mitigated?
>>43644466
>accidentally become part of jury
>misbehaving criminal stallion
>muscle memory kicks in
>"BAILIFF, WHACK HIS PEEPEE"
>thrown in the brig, marked in contempt of court

>>43645687
>But pregnancy imposes a hefty nutritional and dexterity debuff, which in a purely kratocratic society would set back minotaur women. How would that disincentive be mitigated?

So fun fact about Aztec society; did you know that the Aztecs considered mothers to be the female equivalent of war veterans?

The Aztecs viewed pregnancy as a battle in it's own right. And i think mintaurs would think in a similar way

In minotaur society it's taboo to fight a pregnant cow. Not because the Cow is viewed as weak or vulnerable but because it's considered for lack of a better term, 2v1ing. Which is considered disgraceful. Come on dude, wait for the lady to finish up her match and THEN you can challenge her.

>>43645687
Aunt Ruckus type shit where you randomly bark out for stallion criminals to be gelded

>>43645989
>Aztecs considered mothers to be the female equivalent of war veterans?
lmao the absolute state of longhoused societies, natives never beating the allegations

>>43642479
No. 3 is too big. Forget about the height for a second and consider body proportions. The head is massive, legs massively thick. Also, in regards to height, remember ponies are standing on 4 legs. So its not a proper height comparison, the human is balancing on his hind legs.

>>43646000
>Aztecs
>longhouses
Where's Mesoamerican Anon when you need him?

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>>43646352
Poor marbul

>You are Prince Anonymous.
>...yes, the tiny pony version.
>And yes, you are still your sunny mother's "special little miracle", emphasis on "special" as one noble said.
>Before they got a Moon Horse sized dent in their ass. You didn't really see the whole fuss, it WAS kinda funny.
>Probably why Auntie Luna settled for a singular hit instead of an outright duel, your giggle is what got the poor bitch outed in the first place.
>But we're getting off track here!
>It's almost "Nightmare Night" time (or "Halloween" as old memories tell you) and you wanted to party it up!
>...sadly, your mom was worried about how "well you'd take" some actual scares and roped her poor student into helping her make a "Safe, Spooky Party" for your first "proper" Nightmare Night.
>Sure, you've lived long enough to go through a couple but it took too damn long to get your shit together enough to have every pony around worry about you tripping and eating shit into a punch bowl or something.
>This would be an ACTUAL party with ACTUAL guests instead of just a whole bunch of bored guards and worry wort teachers worrying about what "bad influence" could affect you.
>...out of all the reasons you're glad for Luna to be free from the moon, her vouching for you being more well of than ponies think is fucking high on that list.
>Her sneaking in some actual scary movies is probably right next to that.

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>>43646934 >>43647193 >>43648914

Is Preunification Anon taken down on FiMFetch?
I can only view chapter 1, the rest is pic related

>>43646928
just php things, it'll take time for fimfic to fix the cache bug

>>43646934
Hard to describe my boundless smug at everyone who uses that shitheap language getting raped for all eternity

>>43646873
>Luna hates all stallions.
>Sees her little nephew.
>Makes one exception.

>>43646928
>>43646934
Not php, fimfetch just has a incomplete archive of it. You have to go to the ponepaste version and put it through the wayback machine to get the full version. This link should have the full version before it was locked.

https://web.archive.org/web/20260000000000*/https://ponepaste.org/5508

Theres also the google doc but i havent checked that out. Found my old post from 4 threads ago to get the wayback link, im suprised its been this long since the whole nuking everything happened.

(Full post)
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/43438682/#43471335

Though its funny seeing the story pop up more often now that its taken down from most normal places.

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Mares only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting

Bump

>>43645283
>One of the most popular series of erotica amongst young unicorn mares is about a morally ambiguous sorceress who through a combination of guile, manipulation, and incredible magical ability seduces and subdues an entire harem's worth of reluctant, obstinate, and gullible non-ponies.
>Most non-equestrians find it concerning that this basically boils down to racially supremacist dubious/non-con porn.
>Most equestrians respond in turn with a request for the non-ponies to pound sand.

>>43645617
>autists here enjoy the anatomically correct horse pussy tag
>mare autists learn the joy of the anatomically correct human penis tag

>>43647762
With all the different species in Equestria, would be funny to see each one draw a human dick completely wrong.

>>43647762
>>43647966
>PPOH

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>>43648300

>>43647762
>"Why is the sheath missing? What the fuck kind of kirinese industrial accident were you involved in?"

>>43648260
>CivilizedWorldAnon: ...None? That's how it naturally looks.
>AmercAnon: *circumcision PTSD flashbacks*
>Autist mares in-the-know: NORMALDYKES OUT!

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>>43649013

Just fuck my marecel life up

I love marecels but only the idea of being with one and trying to make them feel better.

>>43646928
>>43647193
https://poneb.in/5508 has an archive where i got the version i'm using to annotate it in https://docs.google.com/document/d/1MwRmuA61scqyM-CdcBphLUPUzAfTsskJw2RvZuI-fKQ/edit?usp=sharing

it does suck that there's discussion now that it's gone
i only found it AFTER it got wiped and it strikes all my fancies: anon that isn't Green, high quality writing, cast of mostly OC ponies... same stuff that guardsmares does. to be honest i was suprised not to find a single drawing of any of the characters. or anything. faust's mere existence is a narrative goldmine if you think about it, and it seems like a pretty interestingly thought out setting. Haven't really found much else that scratches all those itches.

>>43648794
Why?

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>>43650584

>>43649013
Her coworkers found out she likes my little human and won't stop giving her shit about it

>>43641477
Any updates to the long and short of it green and or the sunburst green?

>>43649389
It's time to let go, Anon

>>43649517
The Ride Never Ends.

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>>43648065
Alright that somehow got me

What else can we conclude but that the spark of civilization lives in the snowpity

>>43649378
>Some Anons appear innaquestria
>MLH fanfillies try to apply show logic when wooing hyoomans
>Against all odds, it works
>Normaldykes' seething reaches historical maximum

>>43650584
but would MLH be a similarly lighthearted, child-target-audience show, or something more akin to cyberpunk?
If the former, some Anons might have their hearts melted by hope that never was at home, while others would recoil in suspicion, I'd assume. In the latter case, I can't help but imagine a character in the series resembling Ryan Gosling despite never having heard of the guy, because it would be hilarious. A stand-in for the Element of Joy in a world where it exists, or doesn't?

>>43649517
No even if it means we'll be here for the LONG and SHORT of it, hee hee.

>>43650852
I'm thinking a show that mirrors pony values onto men - camaraderie, humor, bravery, etc... Cyberpunk/technology elements are used as a stand-in for magic and all of the violence is handled The A-Team style, adjusted for pony levels of softness. And no, the producing mares are not aware that our universe is much darker and grittier than theirs.
Colts get to see other colts being beautiful, brave, smart, capable, larger-than-life characters that still have to work with their own hangups and problems. Grown mares falling for characters was unintentional - but to be fair, any average man from the show looks infinitely more approachable and sensible than your average RGRE stallion.
This also explains how fanfillies can connect with Anons much faster - they're simply aware of RGR differences in perception. What they don't know about is human proclivity for petting anything cute and fuzzy, though, so they're in for a big surprise.

>>43650929
>irl is somepony's edgy, grimdark fanfic
That explains so much.

>>43650955
It always is when it comes to kids shows

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>Anon is trying to tempt you with that sinful body again as he passes your apple stall (he's just walking home from the store)

>>43650955
>Edgy mare writes the edgiest, most grimdark version of MLH she can think of
>Gets ridiculed for how over the top and unrealistically cruel it is
>It's just a description of the average third world country

>>43650584
>Randomly get isekai-ed one day into that old cartoon horse show your little sisters/cousins used to watch.
>It turns out horse society is some bizzarro-world style hyper-chauvinist(?) matriarchy where it's just normal for women to sexually harass men all day every day
>You don't actually know enough about horse show to call any of this out as bullshit, so part of you is slightly concerned that this is what the younger girls of your family grew up watching.
>That's not the pressing issue at hand, however.
>What is the issue is that god chose to put you in pony world but did not ordain to make you sexually attracted to ponies.
>And one would think that the ponies would be equally as uninterested in you as you are in them.
>No.
>You've been catcalled, propositioned, solicited, negged, pressured, and outright assaulted.
>In literally any other context you would've been absolutely jazzed to be offered infinite sex whenever, however, whoever you want.
>Instead, you just get to feel like you're in a constant state of being uncomfortable and embarrassed all the time.
>It's late evening and you're leaning up against a tree of the local apple orchard. One full case and one half-empty case of cider at your feet.
>Currently, this is one of your favorite drinking spots. Noone comes out this far except the farmhands and they aren't out past curfew. Plus, the farm sells the cider.
>As you finish your 4th(?) and crack open your 5th(?) you hear a rustle in the foliage down the path and see a pony walking towards the direction of the farm, looking around as she goes; and when she spots you, she stops.
>Oh god. Here we fucking go.
>She ambles her way over to you, ears flat and head stooped, cautiously looking around.
>Actually looking her up and down, she's a mess. Her mane's unkempt, her normally pastel coat's colors are muted from a layer of dirt and sweat. She's wearing a dirty, beat-up t-shirt with a graphic of... a group of cartoon humans posing dramatically (what?) and wafting around her is this thick, sickly-sweet cloud of unwashed pony musk.
>Ah fuck it's one of those.
>One of the "I'm just a sad, lonely loser with no social skills. Won't you please grant me the mercy of just one pity fuck so that I may have something worth living for in this miserable existence of mine please please please please please....."
>Spergle's pulled this move on you easily a dozen times alone.
>Instead, what she does surprises you.
>She straightens her posture. Gives you a confident smile. And in a voice more firm than you thought she was capable of mustering she asks you:
>"Hey faggot. You wanna go get drunk with me and throw rocks off the bridge into the river?"
>You sit there in stunned silence for a moment. The marecel slowly slinking back as you're clearly reacting differently than how she anticipated in her head.
>But over the course of the next couple of seconds a smile slowly starts to work its way in from the corners of your mouth.
>You're so fucking game.

>>43652537
She's got Anon's number. The sperg knew how to play the game.

>>43650852
ive been thinking the equivalent would be breaking bad

>>43653069
>"Anon, you need to COOK!"
>"...some bucking dinner already, the brats are hungry."

>"Mom, help, dad's watching videos about post-nut clarity on Klip-Klop again!!"

>>43653597
>"Don't be ridiculous foal. Stallions never have clarity."

>everyone's at church on a sunday
good. bump tho

Do RGRE power couples have arrangement's where the stallion sleeps his mare's way to the top?

>>43655596
No???

>>43655601
Oh okay, mb

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>>43655622

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Weakest mare vs the strongest colt

>>43656829
If mares really act like *dudes*, this might be reality for some poor stallions.

>>43656829
>>43656852
Oh god it's like Japan

>be earth pony stallion
>all I ever really wanted was to be a horsehusband
>even got my cutie mark baking
>great wife, I love her, total gigastacy and she pays for everything
>but lately I feel like I hardly see her
>only way to feed the wife most days is with a lunchbox
>doesn't have time for breakfast
>always out late with the boss or work friends
>comes home smelling of cider and ozone after the foals are already in bed
>she's out right now, one of the weather patrol teams visited the factory so they're catching up over cider
>again
>but I don't want to get between her and her friends so I sigh and close the envelope over the tickets for the show
>I don't really like the wonderbolts anyway, so it'd be better if she went with another pegasus
>she normally goes with her boss so they'll both think it's a thoughtful gift
>we used to spend a lot of time together right after the wedding, but half of that was because I could barely leave the house before we found a good vendor for the cloudwalking spell
>not that I think she would have let me out on the honeymoon
>traditional Cloudsdale wedding, even had Princess Luna officiating, finished with a 'coltnapping' when she carried me home from the altar
>hips were sore for six weeks straight after that
>best month of my life
>I really wish she spent more time at home
>foals have probably seen the elderly couple next door more than their own mother
>I kinda wish she spent more time on me, too
>maybe I'll order a lingerie catalog, give her a surprise on Nightmare Night
>check on the kids one last time before I head to bed myself
>youngest is on the ceiling again
>time to fetch the butterfly net

>>43656940
He'll have to seduce his wife all over again.

live

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>>43658272

>Nothing ever happens
>Except when Celestia launches the magic green nuke at Paraguay
>You were Secret Service, JD Vance's top guy with 300 confirmed kills and training in gorilla warfare
>When the mares capture you and demand to know where the leadership of humankind is hiding you tell them Pakistan, India, and Bangladesh
>You die knowing Celestia immediately began glassing all of south asia
>It had the effect of scaring the rest of humanity into mostly surrendering

>>43658264
Heh... gorilla warfare... it's because I'm a monkey...

What would mares think of tattoos? Would they see it as an opportunity to mark their humie husbands or would that be considered uncivilized behavior?

>>43658611
Cutie marks aren't something you're supposed to try to fake.

Bump

>>43658704
>>43658611
If all humans are blankflanks, does that make all mares fillyfondlers?

>>43659227
>"The difference between a boy and a man is a branding iron"

>>43658611
>What would mares think of tattoos?
Well anon, do you subscribe to the infantilizing interpretation of Equestria being a pure land where ponies don't have sexual desires or instincts until it is convenient for a specific fetish? Or do you subscribe to the canon-defying interpretation of Equestria being a land filled with beings of flesh and blood and desire that follow evolutionary paths similar to our world?
If the former, no, tattoos yucky unless it serves anon's fetish.
If the latter, probably a good subset of mares would be interested in tattooed humans and what the tattoos are meant to symbolize, but I doubt they would approach it as "marking" their husbands.

>>43659586
>"Anon, I got one just like you. It's the human word for friend."
>It says slut.

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>>43661028

>>43660023
Please stop misleading ponies.

>>43641477
RGRE
Read
Grass
Road
Engine

>>43658611
>>43659586
I dont think the first interpretation has too be so harsh. I've always headcannoned that ponies are generally adverse to tattoos considering how important cutie marks are to them, and that tattoos are seen as 'fake' cutie marks. Not every pony believes this, but places like Canterlot are definitley more disapproving of the practice than somewhere like Manehatten. It's also really uncommon because of their technology, so to get a tattoo would be a painful branding experiance. Maybe the preunification era did slavery with branding and that has a cultural stigma but I'm iffy on this headcannon.

They dont care too much for other species with tattoos, mainly cause they don't have cutie marks so the clash isn't there, but sometimes tattoos can be seen as a way to try and assimilate into the culture. So after a marriage a human might tattoo their partner's mark on one arm and have their own custom mark on the other. Considering how important cutie marks are for identification i could see a non pony having to make a symbol or mark even if your not getting a tattoo just for equestrian documents like an id or similar.

They do not allow you to make a dick your symbol so don't try it Anon.
The styalized S has already been made into 10 varients and is no longer available.

>>43660309
>"I don't know why Anon got a cutie mark—I mean 'tattoo'—of a peach and an eggplant. He never even eats eggplant."

>>43656940
I know that feeling too, I feel so sad for the wee stallion.

>>43660250
But it’s so funny.

What slutty costume are you wearing for your mare on Nightmare Night?

>>43661645
Malfoy

>>43661645
If dyeing weren't such a hassle, I'd dress up as Doppio; instead I have acquired the drip of Risotto Nero, with which I will show up at a party
>weakness against pink-maned individuals does not apply

Are you guys going trick or treating?

>>43661847
I was gonna hand out candy with my parents, but my aunt died and they're doing the funeral out of town on the 31st

>>43661650
>Rara+Twi herd
that feels unusual desu

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>>43662911

>>43662308
something something racial herding something

>>43662308
>"Unicorns are a thinking man's mares, mudponies are a working man's mares, pegasi are a running man's mares."
>>43662716
>cue "My girlfriend's girlfriend" by Type O Negative

>>43662911
>"Unicorns are a thinking man's mares, mudponies are a working man's mares, pegasi are a running man's mares."
>each species of mare looks for a certain trait in their partner
>unicorns want a patient man, so he can help their foals with the homework and help them study
>earth ponies want a strong man, or a man with a lot of stamina to help with the work and to rough house with the foals
>pegasi like a man who can run, because pretty soon after getting together he'll have to be chasing after the foals

>>43662072
im sorry to hear that anon ;(

>>43663152
>partner
lover* ftfy

>>43663152
God help you if you attract an alicorn. They want you to move mountains.

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>>43664665

I wish to be Celly's house husband.

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>>43663699 >>43664150

Any greens where anon is a sex slave?

>>43646873
>>43647125
>Luna hates how *modern* stallions have turned out but she can't voice that opinion without some gossip rag twisting her words to make her out to be some raging misandrist.
>Which, ironically, doesn't help her feelings on the matter if said rag was written with stallions in mind as the main audience. A real "circle jill" of nonsense if she's got the term correct.
>Stallions back in her day, while still the "fairer" sex, we're at least still expected to work jobs, till the land and *fight* if conflict came close to home!
>By the fires of Tartarus! *Starswirl* was a very prominent stallion in history but what swung between his legs just seemed to be conveniently forgotten or his actions accredited to her and her sister at the worst of times when discussions came up on how to treat stallions.
>Which is why she is so, *so* thankful for her little nephew. Despite the troubles he faced as a young foal, he carried himself in a way that would've made the ancient stallions proud.
>...even if he did stumble on his hooves sometimes and had his magic spark a little from time to time.
>He demanded respect, work to do and friends to share glory with.
>And by all hells, she would help him get it all no matter who stood in their way.

>>43663446
>stallions have a rape fetish, proof #69238973

>>43663699
Submit to the stronger sex.

>>43664062
species*

>>43664141
brain*

>>43663446
Humans are made exclusively for lovey dovey sex

>>43664145
video game*

>>43663152
>be father of unicorns
>have to put up with a buncha colts and fillies on the edge of laughter
>because you can't quite be sure yet what object in sight they disguised the mysteriously disappeared contents of the treats drawer as
>and you're damn sure the safe hooffacturer didn't rig their locks to spontaneously liquefy
>>43663445
As you'd walk through the shadows of the hallway commemorating stallions of Celestia's, would you feel anguish knowing you will probably only be a blip, only another entry in a list of those who had felt the same, and worked to distinguish themselves accordingly?
>>43664150
>he was a MARED man, she was a SiM mare
>and they were roommates...

>>43663518
Peak dynamic.

Now i imagine a green where Anon and Luna make Nightmare Night decorations or costumes together. This becomes a contest between Anon and Luna vs Celestia and Twilight for best costume pair.

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>>43664665
>he was a MARED man, she was a SiM mare
>and they were roommates...
I'm imagining a scenario where Twilight and Cadance team up to resolve this love/friendship problem, but Twilight is too autistic to understand the love part.

>>43660309
>I dont think the first interpretation has too be so harsh.
I didn't mean for it to come across as judgemental. I'm in this board, after all. But I worded it as accurately as I could. At some point we gotta be self-aware and realize we are just projecting what we want on a defunct cartoon for little girls. Nothing wrong with it per say, but it doesn't lend itself to honest "do you think ponies would X?" discussion. The premise of RGRE alone lies on flimsy interpretations of the show and even then there's disagreement between those who want to use it as a vehicle for femdom or maledom.
>I've always headcannoned that ponies are generally adverse to tattoos considering how important cutie marks are to them
Makes sense. For some reason the existence of the temples Daring Do explored made me imagine that some kind of Mesoamerican-inspired pony society existed at some point, tattoos included, but after checking I don't think we ever see tattoos in the show.

>Maybe the preunification era did slavery with branding and that has a cultural stigma but I'm iffy on this headcannon.
I don't doubt for a second that preunification ponies were barbarians. They are incredibly easy to turn to tribalism and racism among each other and you could interpret the Heartswarming tale as a sanitized version of "we were really destroying each other and only found prosperity united". Even if not, remember that the preunification pegasi were presented as a warrior tribe.
I don't think tattoos would have been limited to slavery. Historically virtually every human society has practiced body-marking to commemorate events, so the preunification pegasi could have used them to commemorate accomplishments in battle.

>So after a marriage a human might tattoo their partner's mark on one arm
Personally I think it'll be more popular to wear clothes with your wife's Cutie Mark. Same effect but without the possible bias against tattoos. Imagine the conflict in your mare's face as she struggles between her love for your custom-order belt buckle shaped like her Cutie Mark and the need to tear your pants off and show you how much she appreciates it.

Speaking of which, they've been talking rgre in the fimfiction thread. Not good convos, but think of the content!

>>43664981
>custom-order belt-buckle
imagine toga pin made to look like mare's cutie mark
no need to tear off, it just works.
Also, one can roll a sheet of cloth in many ways around a torso. If dresses can be adapted for quadrupedal walking, then toga-ish also might.
I wish I could address more of what you elaborated earlier, but I'm too tired. I so wish I could emulate being wrapped under pegasus wings but only have a wool blanket to make do with. Such is life I guess.

>>43665005
/fimfic/ is the Twitter of /mlp/

>>43665616
Cute!

This place is rotting my brain I can only jerk it to mares sitting on my face now

>>43666462
That's a you problem, not an us problem.

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>>43666655 >>43667139

>>43666462
Oh no anon, how will you ever make it? Your face isn't big enough for all those pony butts!

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>>43668990

>>43666549
nta but I've never really liked big bubble butts on mares. I like my pony butts tight and perky.

>"I'm a hex colt, and I'm gonna put a spell on you!"

>>43666669
the number of unicorn colts that could actually do that can probably be counted with four hooves, with starswirl the bearded being one

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>>43666549
The best flank is the one enthusiastically sitting on your face, no matter the size.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush or however it goes.

>>43665553
Went over there a few threads ago and asked if they knew any comedy stories in the vein of daring douche and got told by a blogfag that greens suck.
On 4chan...

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>>43667345
Yeah they're fucking uptight faggots. The last time I went there they were just crying that some guy's hie fics were getting more attention than the shit they were writing.
They need to get rape corrected by a mare ASAP.

>go to rgrequestria
>your waifu tells you she'll commit you to a sanitarium if you put ketchup on ice cream

>>43667715
I mean... fair

>>43667715
>tell her that if she keeps being uppity I'll force-feed her a PBJ sandwich... WITH PICKLES.
>*Confused horse screaming*

>>43667715
But what if you serve ketchup-flavored ice cream?

>>43667715
>she'll commit you to a sanitarium if you put ketchup on ice cream
thank god my waifu's sane

>>43666655
Based get. I'm checking on all cylinders.

>>43668189
Why would you put pickles on a peanut-butter, banana and jelly sandwich?

I see this thread up all the time, but when are we getting *Forwards* Gender Roles Equestria?

>>43669143
They tried that a couple of times. It didn't attract enough obsessive nerds to keep the thread going.

>>43669143
Realistically Anonstallion is the containment thread for that >>43658472
But in general it's just too counter to the themes and content of FiM to really hold up. You have to not like mares in a a show which is all about mares. That sort of massive AU does well on some of the peripheral parts of the fandom but not really on /mlp/

>>43669143
What would that even be?

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>>43669143
>*Forwards* Gender Roles Equestria?
you sound like a faggot who doesn't want to be a househusband to a hard working mare who cooks her meals and chases the foals

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>>43669682

>*fucks you*

>>43669143
>a man leaves his home in the bustling city because it's stuffy ugly and polluted
>he moves into the countryside
>it's a beautiful place
>teaming with gorgeous trees and untouched wildlife
>truly, it is paradise
>the man then looks out at this work of art and says
Damn, this is boring and i don't like this. You know what would make this place better? two smoke stacks an AI data center and a bunch of empty office buildings just like the city i came from.

>>43669590
>A trio of unicorns (statistically horniest tribe)
>VERSUS
>One sex-pest Anon
Who wins?

>>43669682
Anon jobs and get raped by Amy/Sisi/Twinkleshinkle/Lemonmare alone. And they're pretty average in horniness, they're not Lyra or Minuette.

>>43669709
>Sex-pest Anon
>Raped
Look, I understand that your humiliation fetish has fried your last neuron a decade ago, but you cannot, in fact, rape the willing.
Retarded femdomfags not even trying to blend in, I swear.

>>43669682
Everypony else. The four of them keep each other continuously busy.

>>43669734
Ahem.
REEEEEEEfractory period. You wouldn't like a mare jumping on you when you just got milked.

>>43669734
>go into femdom thread
>ohh emm gee no anon that can't happen it's femdom!

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>>43670677 >>43671252 >>43673008

>>43669826
A good argument, let's step through what would be realistic in this scenario.
Refractory period may make Anon stop for a bit and switch to I dunno, fisting, for a bit.
However, as any respectable sex pest our hypothetical Gooner Anon would not be able to go through the day without cranking it on the regular, thus postponing the orgasm severely.
HOT MARE DEPTHS with SUPERIOR MUSCLE CONTROL will wear him down faster than your average roastie, that is also true.
HOWEVER, it may not be comparable to a fingerwork pro (especially if prostate stimulation comes into play). If Anon is partially desensitized to penile stimulation (which happens with chronic masturbation addicts), this mare advantage might not amount to much.
It is reasonable to assume that the mare is going to be stimulating Anon via other means, talking dirty, kissing, hoofholding, but this also will raise her own arousal, too...
If we don't bullshit in something like an unnaturally long time for mares to climax, I estimate the chances of about 15 to 2 that mares would cum their brains out impaling themselves on Anon's dick before Anon goes anywhere close to blowing his load, unless he's an unnaturally quick shot.
Which leads me to my next point: It's a trick question. Horny trio locks down a husband that puts out on the regular and isn't above hitting them up during their lunch break for a quickie. Anon gets beautiful horse wives to rail (and get ridden by) every day. Everyone else gets some rest from these perverts. Everyone wins. Except maybe their neigh-bors.

>>43669924
I’m sure there is a magical solution that makes the neurons all fire off in sex. Blow his mind.

>>43669734
You won't be saying that when Lemon Hearts starts squeezing your prostate with her magic

>>43669734
>Retarded femdomfags not even trying to blend in
Okay so is this a femdomfag general or a maledomfag general? It isn't clear at times
>>43669924
>thus postponing the orgasm severely.
Most likely resulting in sexual impotency
>SUPERIOR MUSCLE CONTROL
Myth. But their small size means they'll be tighter than most women.
>will wear him down faster than your average roastie
Sex and stimulation are more mental than anything so I imagine the average /mlp/ anon will start having no chance against mare and work his way up to a new normal he can only get off with mare.
>the mare is going to be stimulating Anon via other means, talking dirty, kissing, hoofholding, but this also will raise her own arousal, too...
If mares are the equivalent of men, your asshole is in danger. If they are the equivalent of the ponut-obsessed denizes of /mlp/, your asshole is done for. Hope you have your mind open to rimming.
>If we don't bullshit in something like an unnaturally long time for mares to climax, I estimate the chances of about 15 to 2 that mares would cum their brains out impaling themselves on Anon's dick before Anon goes anywhere close to blowing his load, unless he's an unnaturally quick shot.
Women taking a long time to climax is again mostly mental and also an issue of dick size (size matters, don't let them tell you it doesn't), even then it's easier if they are riding which if they are >raping (you) they most likely will be doing. However you're overstimating how easy a femdomfag would cum this situation. I give it 2-3 mares tops.

>>43671252
>Okay so is this a femdomfag general or a maledomfag general? It isn't clear at times
It's a femdomfag general that gets raided by tourists that hate the premise but shit up the thread anyway
some of them legitimately don't know any better and are posting out of their containment threads without knowing
others are just retards

>>43671252
>Okay so is this a femdomfag general or a maledomfag general?
Long-time writer for this thread here, ignore this >>43671292 retard.

To answer your question, neither, just like normal gender roles IRL don't lead to total maledom (or total femdom).
RGRE is more complex and consists of a number of tropes that writers can mix and match to create settings from RGRE-lite to ultra-sexist worlds. What femdomfags don't understand is that even in such extreme cases, where males are literally treated like property, there is still going to be nuance in mare (and male) behavior rather than their one-note mare-abuses/rapes-you-submit-now-total-mare-domination coombait premise.
In actuality, in most RGRE settings males are innately valuable (just like females are IRL), so openly-abusive mares would get quickly their shit kicked in. Also, vast majority of mares would care about you simply on the basis of you being male.
Femdomfags don't want to bother with this, they want a thread to parasitize on since their generals don't last long.

>>43671322
>RGRE (and all femdom) is just abuse
lol
Anon this isn't even the thread for what you're describing
Please go back to your containment general

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>>43671396 >>43672612

Shut the fuck up you stupid monkey colts.

>>43671360
LIMESTOME PLEEEASE HIT ME LIMESTONE HIT MEEEE I LOVE YOU PLEASE HIT ME PLEEEASE

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>>43671396
we need a Limestone edit of this

boo

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>>43672518
oh look, you scared Fluttershy, are you happy?

not gonna be able to bump the thread tonight so I'm counting on you guys

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>>43671360

>>43669924
>>43671252
(You) would cum the moment a mare slipped her tongue in your mouth, don't lie.

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>>43674035 >>43674094 >>43674261

Settle down with a nice mare.

>>43674004
yeah, well, it ain't gonna be fucking pinkie of all mares

>>43674004
This but with Limestone Pie

>>43674004
Nah, I'm going for the mare that treats me like garbage.

>>43674261
I'm going for a mare that is not going to treat me like garbage, and it sure isn't going to be Pinkie.

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>>43675004

>manehatten is the seedy underbelly of equestria, laden with threats and hooligans and goons and thugs and villainous figures
>some ponies will moonlight as masked heroes dealing vigilante justice to those evildoers of manehatten's streets
>one such good samaritan is none other than Shoeshine, who masks up at night to deal with evil in her own special way
>you will smell her before you see her in her lime green super suit spreading smelly comeuppance to the evil ponies of the fashion district and putting an end to their lavender-scented tyranny
>a week later, stinky linky stopped being a superhero because her fanclub got a little too weird

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>>43675398

Uh oh, it's simp mare!

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>coltfriend wants to spend nightmare night eating candy and binge watching horror movies with you
>you put on tartarusraiser
>that night when you get in bed he insists you hold him close all night
>you love it when a plan comes together

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>>43674519
Not only Linky smells good, she also is not a Manehattenite.
0/10

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>>43675425

>>43674794
They don't call me a GREEN MEAN MAREWASHING MACHINE for nothing!

>>43675398
Mr. Green and the dorky chemist that supplies him with hilarious amounts of chemicals.
Something resembling Mr. Jive and Dr. Heckyll as 2 people, what would each one's marefriend be like?