i ruined everything and took away my only sunshinei won’t get to hear him say hi anymorei won’t get to ask how his morning is anymorei won’t get to buy him gifts and spoil him anymoreany possibility of me holding his hand one day has been extinguishedand the worst part is it’s probably better this way for everyone because my feelings for him are absolutely repulsive given the contexti just can’t believe i broke it all in a matter of a couple hoursi didn’t mean toi didn’t realize this would happenif i knew this was even a possibility i would have never considered doing what i didi never wanted to do anything that would mean i risk losing youi can’t believe i broke everythingi will miss you so muchim so sorry i did thisim so sorryim such a fucking loseri will always always always lose
was this some kind of e-relationship?
i really just can’t believe this is happening i dont even know what to do or how to function he was one of the few drives in my life and now he is gonei looked up to him so muchhe always impressed me so muchhe taught me so many things about myself and lifehe was wise and always seemed to have good advice for any situationhe’s such a kind hearted sweet personand he goes through so much still even to this day, he has so much pain physical and mentalall i ever wanted was to be there for him and to hold him and support him and make sure he always has someone to lean oni can’t believe i messed everything upeverything is in pieces and i don’t know what to do i just don’t know what to do anymore i just don’t know what to do i just don’t know what to do
>>45180971not even thatit’s so pathetici don’t want to give details to preserve his privacy but my thoughts and feelings towards him even before this happened today was reprehensible and evil and bad because i shouldn’t have these feelings for him but i doand now he’s gone and i won’t be able to ever say good morning to him anymoreto be honest he is the only thing i look forward toand now it’s all gone
im just so angry at myselfi don’t know what to do anymorei love you and all i did was break everything im so sorryi miss you already so much
>>45181014So just a guy friend you were talking to online and you had some kind of "episode" that scared him off?
>>45181055it could be described in this manner yes, it’s pretty accurate even if not the full picturethe real picture is much more pathetic and stupid and awfuli just don’t know what to do
i can’t believe i made him feel this wayi just want him backi just want everything to go back to how it wasim praying today is just a bad dreamplease be a bad dream please be a bad dream please be a bad dream i want to wake up from it please pleaseplease can this just be a bad dream please i miss you i really miss you i dont want to lose you please im so sorry i did what i did im sorry im sorry
>>45181089Maybe you could use this opportunity to realize all this online shit and effort is a waste of time and you should get a life. At least then you could get something out of this
>>45180945sorry to hear it ended that way i remember ur posts
>>45181154in a way i think you are rightbut it hurts so much because i care about him so much. i care about him with all my heart. i worry about him night and day. i worry about what’s going on in his life and the things he’s shared. i worry about his mental health and how he treats himself sometimes. i worry that he’s all alone and has to do everything by himself. i just want to be there and support him. i just want to be there for him and be his rock. i want to make him feel appreciated and loved and cared forand maybe just maybe there was a chance of that, of being granted the opportunity to enhance and make his life better and to support himbut i ruined itand i ruined something for other people tooi ruined everything in a matter of hoursi took away my only sunshine and i just want it backi can’t believe this is really happening, i just can’t believe it i can’t believe i did thisi wish this was just some halloween trick, some illusion or bad dreami just want it to go back to how it wasi miss him so much, i truly have nothingi want him back so badyou really were from the bottom of my heart, my everything
>>45181193….i sort of forgot i used to post about this ahaha, you remember me?im so sorry it ended like this too : ( he’s so sweet and kind and i cherish the moments the universe allowed me to have in his presencei just miss him so much i don’t know what to do but cry i genuinely don’t know how I am going to function at this rate, i feel physically sick and illi just can’t believe ive done this to myself and to him
>>45181229You fell in love with an avatar /a curated online personality with the worst shit hidden or blurred. Take it from someone who spent my late teens and early-mid 20s crying over e-relations, you will regret every hour of your youth you wasted with this silly shit in a few years. Go and be free
i discovered one of my favorite bands through himi love their music so muchwhen i would listen to it, it would remind me of him, and in a way, it would make me feel safe and would comfort me, like he is therenow when i hear that music, it is spiky and painful, its jagged and cuts through me. it hurts to listen to them and it hurts because they were one of my favorite bands. their music reminds me of him and instead of the feeling of safety and comfort it’s nothing but pain and sorrow and a deep feeling of regret and painno longer is there the feeling of comfort and safety but instead like a spectre of what could have beenwhat could have beenwhat could have been if i werent so stupid and emotionali hate myself so so so much
>>45181279ultimately although it hurts so much words can’t describe it i know you are correct on some leveli just…don’t know….be free…be free to do what? i have so little going for me…..im just a male failure boymoder faggot who is ngmi…ive put such big walls around myself and i pretend to be someone im not every dayall i want in this scary big world is companionship and someone that i can feel safe aroundi never have met a man like him before, he’s kind, emotionally intelligent, he’s funny and makes me laugh, he wise and taught me things about life, he made such a positive impact on my life and mental outlook, he never ceased to impress me and is always capable, he always perseveres through struggle in lifehe goes through so much and has to do it aloneit just hurts because all i want is to care for him….i have no body to care for like i did him…and now it’s all gone…and im all alone…and the things that used to comfort me bring me nothing but anguish i don’t even know how im going to go to sleep tonight, its been such a shitty past couple of days, ive been crying myself to sleep nights after nights and now i feel completely shell shocked ive just been sitting crying for hours nowi just don’t know what to doi dont know how to move forwardhe made me feel wholehe made me feel like my life had purposehe gave me sunshine and light when it was dark and frighteningnow i feel emptyi feel aimless and without purpose like an automatathere is no sunshine and im back in the dark againi just want my sunshine backyou have no idea what id give just to close my eyes and have this all just be a bad dream
>>45181363>free to do what?Work on yourself, socialize, visit fun places, travel, explore hobbies, meet new people, develop skills. Plot out something and just get off dickcord
>>45181416i can’t really argue with any of that, to my credit at least i do some of this…it just seems like an uphill battle to not only continue doing the parts i did but the rest of what’s listed with the hole i have in my heart…ultimately i know its what i must do, its either that or die but…i appreciate you giving me the advice you haveim just so emotionally and physically desperate for someoneat this point it hurts so bad id pay for someone just to hold me and let me cryive never been held beforei always dreamed that maybe one day he would hold mei wish i had that safe space again
>>45181363Is this related to that nazi drama dump the other day? If so you should both feel embarrassed over that shit
>>45181462i can’t safely say no it’s not and im kinda curious what you are talking about now lolat least im not nazi cringe but ngl i tthink this stupid stupid stupid stupid situation ive managed to get my brain into is worse or more cringe or idki just don’t know anymore
>>45181455>im just so emotionally and physically desperate for someoneFind real people then if you are so desperate, not online stuff with a snowballs chance in hell of becoming something real
>>45181511you are right, anything else would bring me pain i think at this pointwould you believe me if i told you this was the second time? hahaim sorry to pepper you with stupid questions buthow do you find somebody?what do i do? there’s not much that happens in my towni work night shift so most of the time i am alone in the darkon my off days desu i am exhausted but i have enough energy to go outside kindasorta…i just don’t know how to find someone or where to go or start reallyon top of the fact of people here where i am generally not liking faggots and im a stupid boymoder loser failureit seems like a chicken and the egg problem to try and find someone
LMFAO deserved corny ass edgelord
HSTS = dont care
>>45181574ur being mean on my sad post thread???? >>45181577i may be sobbing but you made me laugh for a second so thank you
it comes in wavesfor a moment the pain lessens and then it all comes crashing back downit keeps coming in waves and it doesn’t stopmy heart is so heavymy heart hurts so muchi wish i could hold himi wish someone could hold me
>>45181564>How do I find somebody Anywhere where young people hang out, social venues, parks, gyms/sports, cafes, art places, gigs and clubs. On this note it's not bad to use social apps for the sake of realistic meet ups
>>45181472Some nazi was mad at a nazi girl he was e dating who it turns out already had a partner plus a bunch of side peices or something and put it all out in an embarrassing rage post. Then she responded too, and he passed out so the thread died. Nazi self own
>>45181664ill try my bestthank you for being nice to me
im so sorryi wish i could take it all backi love you and i hate myself for it so muchim so sorry
i can’t even cry myself to sleepeverything i used to think about to comfort me has been contorted into something that hurts so badit all just hurts so bad
i miss you more than anything puppy. you need to reach out if you dont feel well mentally especially if you truly feel this way. i still feel for you in my heart and reading all this is horribly painfulthough if you dont recognize this picture, i have the wrong puppy and im sorry and good luck
