so i rly want to commit sudoku and my friends keep texting me to hang out and i'm ignoring them and my question is, how do i respond?bc if i tell them the truth they'll ask why, and if i tell them why (it's bc i'm too poor to continue gender transition and i'm slowly detransing involuntarily) they'll try to give me money, which i won't be able to turn down for obvious reasons and that just makes me feel manipulative and disgusting and make me want to kms even morebut if i hide it from them everyone gets all mad like i'm doing something wrong by like they either think i'm intentionally ignoring them or being avoidant (bad) or i'm self-isolating (also bad)so what am i supposed to do other than just cut myself open and bleed to death it feels like every option is bad and horrible no matter how i try to frame it :s
>>45180428I stopped reading at the part where you said your friends want to hang out with you.I wish my friends reached out to hang out with me, I’m always the one having to make plans, it makes me feel like they don’t really care as much about me as I care about them.Anyway my point is you’re lucky to have friends that want to spend time with you.
Do not push away your friends because of our own stupid insecurities. Remember the lesson of the purple rabbit.
>>45180428take ur friends hrt money and tell them about ur problems. At the very least wait until THEY abandon you. do not waste the position you are in
>>45180446it's only bc it's halloween and i'm the hot friend or whatever so they all expect me to have some cool thing to invite them to but none of them know that i'm a loser who spends all day laying in bed in pain and on 4chan
>>45180460wtf is the purple rabbit?>>45180466it would just kick the can further down the road i need long term financial support and no one is willing to do that, i can't even afford enough food to eat or non-gender related medical care let alone hrt
like i don't even think it's possible to have true genuine friends when ur this poor bc i have to mask so hard and pretend to be happy in order to even hang out otherwise i'm just constantly distraught over how i'm going to be able to survive 24/7
>>45180508and none of them have to worry abt money at all. like how am i supposed to feel a connection with someone when all i can think abt is how it would literally save my life if one of them got rid of ONE of their FOUR pets and used that money on me instead. how am i supposed to relate to ppl who talk abt getting a $200 discount on their $2000 laser hair removal package and not just want to slit my wrists right then and there
>>45180428how about being honest? you're feeling suicidal because you can't afford food and whatever else. if they don't have to worry about money then maybe they won't mind supporting you for a little while. for gods sake, take the fucking money if they offer it.
>>45180501The purple rabbit is the rabbit with purple fur. Kek
Never push ur freinds away over mental health ur gonna regret it, hard, i mean u could commit but whats its worth its not like ue gonna reincarnate make the best of it
>>45180501yes but maybe something good will happen in the future
>>45181093it's not just mental health read my postsi'd probably be more mentally healthy than most of my friends if i had their privilege>>45181127i've been telling myself that for the last 5 years and it only gets worse, i'm going to get kicked off of state insurance next year which didn't even cover hrt anyway. meanwhile my friend just bought another $500 guitar how the fuck am i supposed to relate to people or feel like i'm doing anything other than using them for money
>>45181204fine then do it. You won't tho. You know it and I know it. so you have to at least try a little to survive
>>45181253i keep trying and sooner or later it's going to work.trying to survive is dehumanizing, that's the point.....it makes me a worse person i literally can't afford to be generous or kind or to do things for my friends bc my own suffering fills my mind and all my energy is spent trying to alleviate it. i can't be a real friend if all i can think of is how much i need help. nobody wants a friend like that, if i didn't mask and fake it nobody would ever talk to me bc nobody actually wants to be friends with a homeless poor unless they're raping me which i'm TIRED OF DOING
>>45180467>guys im a sexy loser who spends his nights on 4chan :::((((((kys failed-normie scum
>>45181295i'd rather be ugly than poorbeing poor makes u ugly anyway sleeping outside fucks your skin and the dirty clothes and stress and lack of healthcare and everything ruins any chance i have at passing
>>45181314it's also like a double edged sword of course if i was ugly i'd have less friends but i'd also probably not get raped as much and sex work wouldn't be an option
>>45181314Unless you literally homeless you're wrong
>>45181635>Unless you literally homelessanon.....
