from jump im already dealing with self hate here. i would much rather be a cis woman, or even a cis man. it makes me wonder if im even transi should have just been born as a woman because its the only real way i would be worth anything, know how to carry myself, and it would have stopped me from being an evil man with skeletons in my closeti was on hrt for about a year before developing needle anxiety, followed by a fear of getting clocked because of breast growth. im closeted. so ive been off estrogen for like months now and i want to get back on but im too retarded to take hrt. we already took restarted twice, not doing a third time unless i know im not a retard. i experienced a lot of joy during that year but also at least as much fear and despair. im rambling now whatever. tell me what you think ladies. ive considered the nonbinary labels too but honestly i just wish I was a woman and I wish I was a real youngshit tranny, not a lateshit faketrans retard
like im 23 already and i realized i was a tranny at 21 after like years of fucking around with gender expressionsure i was early but i lacked the discipline to lose more than 20 pounds and when people saw me i was just a twinkhonAnd i dont even know what womens clothes I like. Honestly I dont have much of a wardrobe, its all amazon basics shit and I wish i was brave enough to go out in person to get more clothes. Most of it doesnt even fit me righr anyway and im a fat fuck with a long torso, so womens clothes just makes my fat fuck stomach stick out half the time and squeezes my shoulders and makes my ribs look huge and bricky and I lack the self control to make anything of myselfSo its probably not worth it to be anything let alone trans lol I cant fucking function properly. I hate adhd and I swear it isnt even real, im just a lazy retard. Fuck
>>45175430tbhon ignore the labels and think about whether you want to take hrt or not
>>45175508I want to take hrt i think. But im scared of boobs and the general populace, i think?Im conscious of them already but i dont think theyre very visible. If you knew what to look for.
>>45175430Unless you experience 0 dysphoria, transitioning is the only thing that’s going to reduce the mental anguish. Repping just builds like a pressure cooker before it ultimately implodes. If you’re afraid of needles then just do oral HRT. You should only discontinue taking HRT if it’s life endangerment (risk of hate crime) or housing stability at risk. Not because people would clock you alone. If you have anxiety you need to see a psychiatrist and get on anti-anxiety meds until you develop the tools to self-regulate, otherwise you’re just going to keep yo-yoing with HRT.>lamenting going on hrt at early 20sI started mid-late 20s and been transitioning for over ten years. You’ll most likely be fine, just focus on meds.>am fat and it interferes with proper clothingLearn to find appropriate outfits for your size and/or work on dieting and exercise. Pic rel for clothing help.>>45175536Stop worrying about visible breasts, or you’ll never transition. Work on your anxiety.
>>45175536If you're on-and-off HRT with breast buds already developed then you're kinda fucking up future breast growth, but that doesn't matter if you don't care about boobs.So you need to figure out why you want to take hrt and what you're taking it for, what you could get out of it at your age and what you would be giving up
Yep.
