>be trans, +10 years on hrt, passing and kinda cute>be in my 30s, look 25 at worst, kinda look like picrel>live on my own, have money and time>never datedTinder is awful, I dont want to expose myself as trans to too much peopleI have been browsing grindr for over 10 years, just recently (3 years ago) i started meeting people but the age gap is too big, few of them care tho. They show interest at first and then just stop answering messages, its really frustratingTrying to date people my age its awful because they're always too busy with work (i live in a really shitty country)I dont mind trying to date younger people, i was close twice but ended badlyI feel tired and frustrated and alone, I wish i could get a hug from time to time but seems nobody wants to be with me.Ask me anything, I just want to chat for a while before i go to bed
>>45174988I'm in the same boat as you. Honestly I'm just doing the dating apps and trying new things to get out and meet people in person. Its hard in the mid-late 30s because most people who want to be in relationships are paired up already, and the apps are filled with whats left. Like you I have been fairly comfortable being single and living my life but I want to be in a relationship. Honestly if you are passing I would just try to get outside and hope for a meet-cute. I don't out myself to people until the second date to give them a chance to get to know me first. That way if the first date is crappy I don't have to be out to them either.
>>45174988I've never had a single relationship come from dating apps, I have genuinely no idea how people do it.The only successful relationships I have had came from a mix of mutual social connections and proximity. Seeing someone every weekend like 4 weeks in a row because you're always at the same events seems like the best way to develop a connection. This is why most relationships in your 30's tend to develop at work. At least in the before-fore times when people went to offices 5 days a week.
>>45175023I guess I feel younger than I am, so its hard for me to feel attracted to people in their 30s.I was going on a date last night with a cis girl from tinder and she cancelled me last minute because of work, she is the 3rd cis girl who has been interested in me in my whole life.That makes me think if am I really that unlikeable or i just live in a bigot country Thats why I feel better around young people.
>>45174988I’m sorry anon. I get the feelings too trust me. I’m a 30 yo cis male, bi. Not trying to make it all about me but I feel the same way, I don’t even get on dating apps anymore because it’s just too much work and it makes me depressed. I’ve fumbled some amazing people with my bad behavior and bad luck. I feel like I look older than I actually am and a lot of people mention it. I hope you find someone as yes I definitely get the feeling of being alone, so alone you feel as if you’ll never find anyone, while everyone else gets to have people to lay with at night. It’s a cold world for sure.
>>45175064I had an online relationship with somebody and I ruined it, I felt it wasnt real enough and from her situation things didnt seem to get any better soon.I miss her so much I'd do anything for her to forgive me being so immature, I felt so much better just hearing her sleep on discord or receiving her messages asking me how Im feeling
>>45175057Yea. if it makes you feel better the men at this age on the apps look way older, they've all let themselves go. Most of them are in their 40s and look even older. The guys my age are all trying to date younger women, so its hard.
>>45174988Where are you based? I know some people who are genuinely good people without red flags. They just happen to be in a really, really unfortunate area.Also, what's your type in a partner?
>>45175084Same here, was actually thinking about cis ex wife and how I could be a jerk, and how much better I could have communicated. Feels like it gets worse every year as I get older, as I realize new ways I could have done things better. Oh well, I guess one way to look at it is you had to go through that in order to learn? Still I get it’s painful. I still think of her at night too when she would sleep and we would lay together. Regardless, I know you’ll find someone, and not just some chaser, but someone who loves you for you, in your own country.
>>45175097hormones do most of the job making anybody look way younger. whenever I hang out with my friends I look way younger>>45175111Chile. Not sure what you're trying to do tho>Also, what's your type in a partner?I have no idea, I have never had a partner. I just want to cuddle, chat with somebody, being able to go out for walks holding hands. I like playing videogames, watching anime, going to the cinema. I dont want a partner who is terminally online or dont ever go out
>>45175243You’re in chile? Dang. That’s far. How have u not had a partner in all of ur years? Are you picky or chopped or just lack of suitors? It’s gotta be one of the 3
>>45175243yea all my girl friends always ask me how my skin looks so good. I do take care of it but I think for the most part its that they have an extra 20 years of having fragile estrogen-dominated skin over me. I think HRT literally makes us like vampires. I still get carded a lot
>>45174988Can i date u? I'm bald but white and have BWC + failed the autism diagnosis so our kids wont be retarded. Yes i'm getting you foidpreggers dw.
idk haha! its all positivity and love around here man :)! -- you rock!>>45174988
>>45175306>2016 trans-girlfriend, i didnt like her but i wanted to date. it was an awful experience, we would just fight all the time mostly because she was a neet with too many problems>2019 I like a guy, he tells me he would never date somebody like me (trans)>2023 I like a girl, we go out for months but she doesnt show interest for me other than going out drinking. I get paranoid about it and she probably doesnt like me and just want to feel supportive to trans people (girls do that to feel better with themselves)>2025 January, started going out with a 20yo twink, things were great for a few months until we had to figure out how serious this was going to get. I was dumb enough to tell him that I liked him but he should have a gf his age, but in the meantime I could be with him. Wasnt expecting he would find a gf in just few weeks. He told me I gave him luck.>2025 May, right after I broke up with him i started joining discord servers to get distracted, and met a tgirl who was as normal as me. She inmediatly fell for me and we spent several months in a weird online-dynamic.Things ended bad because I was too immature and an online relationship wasnt enough for my touch-starvationI feel very sorry about these last two, I know it was my fault things went wrong. I'd do anything to get things better. They were people who genuinely cared about me and loved me but I was too insecure and self-destructive to just accept it.
>>45174988> passing and kindof cute> no one wants to talk to meHave you considered you might not pass or be as cute as you think? I'm not even cute and barely pass but dating was always so easy that even when I wasn't actively looking people just tried to be overly friendly and find excuses to visit and hit on me. It's not my personality because posting here DQs that. I would sometimes date for a few months and then break up because I wasn't really into them. I've dated a pretty even split between cis girls, cis guys, and trans women
>>45175423> never dated> posts describing 4 different month+ long relationshipsfeels like the type of person that only counts it as dating if it worked out. ive dated one of those people, said she never dated before, turned out to be insane and abusive and had a lot of ex's she just didn't count because "it didn't work out", "it wasn't serious because it ended"
>>45175463you're right, I meant I have never had a relationship (other than the first girl I mentioned). I have went out on dates but so far nothing serious.Probably I have been ditched or the other person didnt show up in like 80% of the dates
>>45174988I’m a little older than you and been on hrt just as long. Passoid and ran the gambit of dating apps / meeting people organically. The apps are alright when we’re younger to our late 20s. Any longer and it’s just a pool of desperation.Highly recommend participating in hobbies where people meet up IRL. I’ve had success both at IRL board games and online games (that led to me moving in with them).>dating younger peopledon’t recommend this as much as we can pass of and feel young like them, their mindset is almost always rife with insecurities, inexperience, and just general immaturity. Tried a couple in the past and all it left me was an appreciation for people at least mentally near my age.>wish i could receive a hug from time to timeYou need to make friends first. It sounds like you’re struggling with loneliness and that can also impact your dating life. Make a solid platonic friend group, get hugs and platonic physical touch from them first, then dating (other people).>never dated>went on to describe dates that didn’t lead to relationshipslol that’s still dating.>ai imagesdisappointing.
>>45175523I spend most of my free time hanging out with friends, I was on vacations a whole week in Argentina with friends. I guess thats part of what made me crash, that they're with people now and Im alone in my room realizing its halloween and everybody is partyingMy bad, I guess it was a language mistake, that I meant I have never being in a formal relationship and called it as 'dating', while going out in a date its when you're just meeting someone.Maybe im still wrongwhat ai images?
>>45175546>most of my free time hanging out with friendsGood, don’t be afraid to also ask for hugs and physical embrace. Human touch is not just normal but a necessity for humans.>it’s what made me crashComparison is the thief of joy.>language mistakeUnderstandable, my apologies for being a bit crass in my language. It’s probably a cultural difference as well, but i’ll respect you.>ai images?OP pic here >>45174988, the shoes are inconsistent and the earrings. In >>45175057 the shoulder less sleeves and necklace don’t match. These are ai generated.
>>45174988Make regular friends and go out with them. You can make friends in online communities and such like table top groups. There you have better chances of finding love there, but only if you give it up as a main goal and just focus on building a good group of friends and doing interesting bullshit. Then and only then you might find someone.
>>45177189Sounds like a terrible idea but i will have it in mind
>>45177189everyone always suggests hobbies that aren't fun, there should be hobby groups for things that I actually like doing but I guess I have to go do things that suck to find friends? lol
>>45178056nta but what are your interests? I find it hard to imagine there is no one out there doing the things you like? And even then you could start a group for it and advertise it
>>45178067I like fixing things. furniture, engines, mechanical devices like clocks and phonographs, trying to learn electronics. the people in these hobbies tend to be old men. it's also not a hobby that's good for two people. I spend most of my time alone in a workshop.
>>45178203>I spend most of my time alone in a workshop.even with those kind of hobbies you can share your stuff online and meet other people into the same hobbyFor several years I was really into DIY HRT and I met a lot of nice smart people, at that point I wasnt sure it was possible to meet 'normal' trans people.I always suggest this hobby stuff, I met a lot of people over the years but rn its kind of my job so I dont want to get involved romantically with people, even tho in all these years I never met anybody who I was interested in
>>45178434that's what I thought yeah. for a few years I've been hosting a website that details all my projects but I don't think it gets any non-bot traffic. maybe I should supplement it with a tumblr blog. and that's all fine but it still doesn't really get you any irl friends and especially not any romantic interest, which is something I definitely want at some point. I guess I'll just keep doing what I'm doing and hope it works out eventually.
>>45178203you should take classes related to the field: soldering, computer repair, etc. Or hangout at local electronics/engineering clubs, check out what projects they’re working on and talk to them.
>>45175023>Its hard in the mid-late 30s because most people who want to be in relationships are paired up alreadyActually the trajectory has changed on this, 30s is now when people start seriously looking, 20s is now blown on school and wage slaving. Also so many people now are breaking up in their late 20s because of the stress of over working in your 20s and mostly getting no where with it, and then realizing you just blew so much of your life away for nothing, so they compensate in their 30s. Hell cis women dont even have kids in their 20s anymore, also 30s now. Honestly for me it feels so easy to date in my 30s because people have actually figured themselves out at that point, so its very much a no bullshit dating environment. People are also more interesting now, 20s people are mostly just carbon copies because it takes a lot of time to hone your style and interests.
>>45178490I think this is a good idea>>45178567thank god it's not just me. I think my 30s will be a lot better.
how tall r u ._.
>>451789195'6 i think
>>45178567I guess thats true. I focused too much on my career and now that I have that I am trying harder to date. I've been going on dates with guys from the apps but most are just kind of meh. The one good date ended up with him eventually ghosting me (and then trying to come back). When I first moved here one friend tried to hook me up with her guy friend but it wasnt a good fit, and I didn't want to disclose to him in case it got out to the rest of my friend group. So dating through mutual friends is hard. Plus my friends are mostly married and having kids so they don't want to go out as much.Right now I am trying new hobbies and trying to get out and meet people through classes and rec sports leagues. Like you or the other one said, I want a relationship but I need to also work on making more friends first.
Getting a boyfriend or (trans) girlfriend as a tranny is extremely easy, you literally must be not trying or are actively repulsive to not be able to. I can only see there being troubles if you're trying to pull cis women, in which case welcome to the fucking club.
>>45179827I just don't know where to go to meet people and nobody is able to give a clear answer. there seems to be a split between people who have never interacted with anyone and are socially stunted and people who fuck three times a day and are like wdym you're having issues? and neither can understand the other. really to find someone you have to be insanely lucky, like winning the lottery type of luck, or born with this ability to naturally intuit where to find other humans and how to interact with them like some sort of invisible compass built into your fucking head.
>>45179246fucking picrel seething in jealousy
>>45179827I think I could get a boyfriend pretty easily, but not a great one. All of the guys I've gone on first dates with have asked for a second, but they just kind of aren't great. If I were desperate for a bf or a hookup it would be easy to find but I want more than that, and I'm unfortunately pretty comfortable being single so I'm not desperate yet.
>>45179827must feel nice to live in a decent country where you dont get killed and/or there are more trannys
>>45180020I feel like a lot of people try to make me feel its my own fault. I already feel guilty enough trying to figure out why people ghost me for 'no reason'I just want to feel like im unlucky and not unworthy of love
>>45180020it depends. if you want a bf, literally just find any guy and be nice to him. if you want a gf, post your transgender status in literally any discord for any popular video game ever and just wait. or play deadlock and announce you're a tranny and wait.
>>45175243>Chilelol im pretty sure i follow you on twitter
>>45181361maybe, i have very few followers tho. i dont like it but its part of what i do
>>45174988>>45175243>>45181361wena ctm
im gonna get drunk and go to sleep. today was a terrible day again
>>45181137that sounds like instructions for attracting the most annoying people on earth lol I want a lasting relationship
>>45182903im glad somebody else said it.most of the advices here sound awful, and would only attract/meet annoying and weird people which is what im avoiding
>>45182941sorry but if you are here, you are weird/annoying
>>45183020I dont think soi understand what you mean tho, i was terminally online browsing 4chan for years, but not anymore.
>>45183020ok but they're recommending socializing with deadlock addicts which is something else entirely
>>45180020If you lower your standards enough you can fuck very easily. that's mostly what it is. if you don't care what you get you can surely get something
>>45183553aids speedrunitt: bad advices
>>45175243NTAOh oh oh, i love eating chile and going to the cinema! What's your favorite anime? Mine are madoka magica, steins;gate, and flip flappers.. I've been into collecting physical copies as of late, do you collect anything?
>>45183758probably space patrol lulucoi used to have a ton of old nintendo games and comics, but sold them all when i moved city
>>45175569Not OP but you sound so sweet.. I hope your day goes well <3Also I really need to finish that game!
Im so drunk rnI wish i could do anything to be rpetty enough to be likeable and ever be loved i hate being alone and i hate im not dying
>>45183764Ohh, that looks really fun actually! I'll have to check it out. And if we lived closer I'd probably invite you over to play some games together, i have a bunch of retro games around here and you seem fun. I'm sure you'll find someone ^-^
>>45183788>I'm sure you'll find someoneI wish i knew whats my problem so i could work on it. I mean it cant be so hard to find aomebody or am i just too picky or the kind of people i like just dont like me back
>>45183799Oh I'm struggling with the same thing. Plenty of people like me but what's the point if I don't like them back..? Being with someone just because you want to be with someone is miserable. So if that makes me picky then so be it, I guess.Sometimes it just takes some time. You've been with two people, who you were interested in and who were interested in you, not that long ago. And from the sound of things there were genuine reasons to end things with them. You'll figure things out and you'll find the right person ^-^I'd make a move myself but I'm also not great with long distance so I'd be shooting myself in the foot.. xD
