Someone please explain to me why I masturbated to the most fucked up comphet shit imaginable? I know I'm bisexual I guess... but I can't get myself to fucking accept it because literally the kind of shit I get off to with men is shit like the Gor series of "sci-fi" "novellas" which I found because I heard it was absolutely repulsive. It was writing by an extreme misogynistic who basically believes all women are naturally biologically inferior to men and that's how it should be and would be if things were perfect. There's literally this point in the book where a bound, kidnapped, and enslaved naked woman speaks without permission and gets nearly knocked out for it. This is portrayed in the book not just as something kinky or whatever like some of the gross hentai I read no; its worse. The book makes really stupid arguments indirectly or otherwise, without any kind of pretense of kink or sexuality or anything, that women are unintelligent, weak, "naturally" submissive in all ways, and happy to be doing nothing except what some abusive piece of shit wants her to do, regardless of her own desires or thoughts that exist in her head. I only read the series past the point where it completely devolves into lecherous misogynistic garbage. As a woman who happens to be trans, this makes me feel dysphoric as it reminds me that I am an AMAB groomed into hypersexuality and because I am a transgender woman, I have trouble not being anything but submissive towards any sexual partner, like many other trans women I know.I don't know what to do with this... I have a partner, but is this a sign of something bad that I need to work through?.....
>>45167710Oh yeah here's a screen cap of part of it btw
>>45167719Looking at what I posted again... Yeah I mean... Bitch literally threw up. Why did I get off to... I fucking hate my libido.To be fair, I guess it IS *the* most fucked up fap session I've had, which is something.I have a pussy btw. Ever since I got that, its actually gotten even worse because I started hating the predictable genre of porn I used to be into.
Also, forgot this part:It's extra fucked up, too, because the asshole that wrote these books accidentally started something of a cult. They're independent from it, but even more fucked up than him.So that also sucks with me.
i think if this book whole situation is upseting you so much you should like stop reading it ma'am. i dont think you are sick in the head to get horny out of fiction but giving that the author is someone so bad irl maybe its the best for you to distance from it.
>>45167710Wait why did I call it comphet That was weird. I meant misogynistic and straight heteronormative bullshit. Argh
(I have a very limited understanding of how to use "comphet" and was tired when I wrote the OP.. I wouldn't typically use it for... nevermind)
boomer sissy type shit
>>45167990That is a good point. I dont understand why it arouses me more than a lot of other things I read or see. Maybe it's because it literally just reads like a stupid misogyny kink thing I'd find on literotica with a disclaimer.Misogyny kink is something I get off to. I've also found I can get off to lesbian things kinda formated around similar ideas like literally the idea is something along the lines "women can force fem lesbians and enslave them too"I know people have dark fantasies, but what disturbs me is I know straight and bi women also have a tendency to like certain types of men and before I wrote the OP, I had a few hours ago told my partner (woman) how gross and superficial it was that women are into Marines as a "type" and then proceeded to kill off to some stupid over the top, even beyond he-man, kinda sword and fantasy hyper masculine man hyper feminine women shit. It disturbs me; it makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel like if, god forbid, my partner got hit by a bus or something or a few decades passed (its more likely she'll die first; she has medical issues but should give me a good run at least) and I (in my mind, stupidly?) started dated men, maybe I'd make some really bad decisions and as a woman who happens to be trans, even with a vulva and even though I am white and even if I go for the second part of my surgery, I know that just because I am transgender, my actual life, or at the very least my health, is much more likely to be on the line. It really worries me. It's odd; I know I am naive in this thing and I know from experience that I can both be naive and know that I am naive. And I am naive and it scares me a lot. A lot.Technically, if I wanted to, I could sleep with men now because I'm in an open relationship and technically single poly, but I don't. Because aside from feeling content right now, I am incredibly scared to date or have sex with anyone else whether my partner is in the picture or not.
>>45168774I'm not a boomer. I'm in my 30s and have only been out 4 years. That is not a boomer. I was just lucky with the surgeries if you're wondering about that.Not entirely sure why I'm explaining this, but there you go.
>>45168897I have this pattern lately. It's not always my pattern but is lately; I will masturbate to something fucked up and usually involving men (especially if it has the follow up part I'm about to mention), orgasm, get confused, and then cry.Almost everything Ive masturbated to in the last month had a disclaimer about belief at the top. I am scared and I don't really know why I just am.
