It's been some time since I posted here, haven't missed it a bit obviously. Don't know where to start. My mind is a mess. I'm filled with disgust yet feel confused when people irl perceive me as a female, I'm being told otherwise online. Everyone is playing with my mind, foids are evil but stupid and worthless, I don't understand the mind of the evil and the inferior, yet I am also supposedly be one of them. Just like my ethnicity even my gender is inbetween. Even this gender struggle shit is foidbrained I hate it, men don't have to worry about stuff like that, men are simple, that's why ftm's who pass are stable and genetically blessed to be masculine and tall usually, they're born like men, they don't struggle about meaningless shit. Just proves being a woman is nothing more than a useless porno fetish. I feel so numb yet still feel pain, it's the only thing I can feel as a matter of fact. I feel so bitter yet still fragile. I couldn't give you a clear answer on why I want to troon out exactly, the obvious answer would be not wanting to be perceived as a foid, but even then I'm not perceived as a genuine one or even one. Then what the fuck am I? Ugh, regardless I suffer from sex dysphoria even if I may be confused about my gender at times, so I'll be getting nullified either way. Hate, hate is all I feel, I hate femaleness. My life is gone because of this biological curse, maybe I could feel something and cry over it if my ego wasn't literally perished. Just why? Why me? If my life was completely worthless I wouldn't even care but why? Oh god give me strength
You'll be okay.
