I’ve been getting closer to mine again since turning 30. A lot of the things from the past seem silly in hindsight, but at the same time there’s some stuff I’ll probably never fully forgive. Guess you just have to do deal with it and just pretend it doesn’t exist. They don’t know I’m bisexual and I’ll probably never tell them, although maybe they suspect idk. Coming out as bi as a 30 yo man is cringe to me anyways.
>>45159219Im almost 30 and its gotten a lot easier to deal with my parents over the last few years. I just let go of all the resentment and accepted they are flawed people who arent able to love me. I just look at them as I look at myself, im flawed and may never get better also, so how can I hold it against them. I dont know wtf happeend to them but I can guess, they're the only parents I'll ever have so I may as well be humble and accept them.
>>45159222Digits of truth
I'm 30 and I'm not sure. I realized a while ago that I haven't loved them in over a decade. Took me longer to realize i hadn't loved anything or anyone in all that time either because of SSRI dependency, and that it kinda turned me into a totally dependent manchild. There's definitely an alternate timeline where i became a chris chan esque figure
>>45159219bad
>>45159219Maybe it'll sound silly or something but I came out to my parents when I was 19 and now I'm 33 and they're almost my best friends. Idk it feels weird to say "they're my best friends" because maybe "best friends" should be less than 35 years apart from you in age, but I call them all the time. I'm gonna miss them so much someday and it's all I can think about when I call them. When my rent went up like 30% and I had to move out, Dad just let me crash in his spare room, and I ended up there for two years (probably depressed but I'm fine now so there's no use in examining that) and loved having me there the whole time. I visit Mom at her place all the time. They stayed together through my childhood, which they shouldn't have done, but now that they're divorced and living apart, they can actually be friends. They call each other every Sunday to see which of them did better on the New York Times news quiz. Yes, I agree, it's liberal silliness, but they love their dumb trans daughter, probably more than the love their other daughter (my sister is a cis NEET who lives at home with Mom and has mild developmental disabilities). Lotta words here but idk, I think it's important to let go of who people were in the past. If you're posting here you're probably trans, and if anyone should be okay with letting go of who someone else was in the past, it should be us. They tried their best, and they do better now. What else matters? Also I transitioned from "looking just like my dad" to "looking exactly like my mom" so it's hard not to see them in me.
>>45159632Nah that’s cute anon
It’s been good always and after trooning out it’s been even better as I’m less of an empty shell and more present
>>45159219My parents are Christian conservative and I had a lot of resentment growing up for them. However they’re also sweet, good people who love me and I treated them very poorly when I was in my 20s. I also externalized a lot of blame of my own failures onto them. My relationship with them has gotten much better now that I’m sober even though I’m still deadname to them and they don’t really accept it and I will have to hide that I’m on hrt when I go back on it. But it’s okay if that makes sense. We still love one another. >>45159632Aww
I'm getting closer to them again now in my 20s, we fell out bad when i was a teenager. I recently told them I will never forgive them for not putting me on blockers when I asked at 12yo, they seem to actually understand. i'm getting surgeries and stuff now and they're supporting me through it,i came out as bi to my mother last week as well which seems like a relatively small thing compared to the whole tranny business, she was fine with it and told me she thinks she might be too lol
>>45159219distant and I'm pretty sure it'll stay that way until both of us die because neither taught me how to be a person
>>45161892Yeah I also treated my parents bad in my 20s… they def weren’t perfect growing up but I did stuff to hurt them that I’m not proud of. Oh well, ig that was kind of the point I was trying to get at with this post, what point did you start owning your mistakes and parse out what was them and what was due to your own screw ups? Sounds like you’ve done a good job of making those distinctions nona
>>45162698>neither taught me how to be a personThis was my beef with them for a long time, practically all of my 20s. So many parents just expect to be able to do no work and put in no effort on their kids and that they’ll just magically turn into normal people with fulfilling lives. A lot of boomers are like that. I thought that for a long time then last night I got up to do a class assignment and didn’t end up completing it in time. I slept in today and even though I feel I can miss that class occasionally it made me reflect on the situation. Sorry to make it all about myself but yeah point is my parents didn’t make me do that. I’m 30 years old it’s time to stop blaming others and boss up my life, or die. Hope you get to that point as well.
i do not associate with my Trumper dad. he failed as a parent in many ways. my Mom is very accepting of me being trans after all these years. we just have a very toxic mother-daughter relationship now. lots of projection onto me unfortunately. she sees herself and her mother in me and it makes things very difficult
Turning 30 next year. I don't talk with my mom very often. I've had mixed feelings about her over the years, but I do know she loves me, so I've mostly forgiven her at this point. She wasn't accepting of me being trans at first, but she has moved on and doesn't acknowledge it or react to it at all. Not supportive, not trying to bring me down, so it is what it is. Just another reason to feel distant when I can't really talk with her about it. My father is a piece of shit I haven't spoken to in like 13 years.
Not great. My dad stopped caring about me when he realized that I wasn't into sports, and then stopped pretending to care at all when I came out. He looks at me with disgust and told me that me just being around makes it harder for him to talk to his kids that he does like. I always thought he was a fool and him not accepting me was never surprising. I suspect that deep down he would prefer if I had died normal over me living as a tranny.My relationship with my mom is rocky, but she's ok. Doesn't accept me at all and blames all problems in my life on me being a tranny. Shook with rage when I came out to family besides just her. She does still want me around and struggles to accept that the rest of my family hates my presence.
>>45162937Sorry to hear that nona
>>45159219stopped talking to them for the most partdidnt show up for christmas last year or get anyone anything.me and my sister text on occasion but i dont trust her to not tell everything i say to the rest of the family so i dont talk about myself much at all.i moved out a few years ago and they barely call me. ill get voicemails from my grandma begging me to pick up the phone. i delete them hoping she'll die soon so she stops calling me.doubt ill show up for the holidays this year either. no point really. we having nothing to talk about
>>45162693I think it’s been gradual and over time but the big turning point has been over the last year bc I got sober and started going to anonymous meetings
>>45163615Getting sober is a must for me as well, glad to hear you did it anon, or at least are working towards it. Probably doesn’t hurt with the personal relationships either desu
