Dont Transition:> Constantly consider if i might actually be able to be happy(er) if i did> Constantly unsure if id prefer being female or not> Semi frequent envy of women> Semi frequent envy of trannies/transition timelinesDo Transition:> Constantly scared im not trans> Constantly scared ill hate having breasts> Constantly scared i shouldnt have taken hrt> Constantly reminded i dont (and didnt) have any dysphoriaIts been 8 years of the former and about 1y of the latter how the fuck do i get out of this. Being a faketranny sucks, i wish this shit was clearer for me. Even if dysphoria sucks it at least forces u into a specific course of action. Instead im in this dumb limbo just wallowing about because im the most indecisive & unsure person alive. Im just too much of a non person to have a gender ig, same way how i dont really have a sexuality either and almost nothing that excites me anymore. Maybe i really did just take my feminization fetish too far because i have nothing else to hold onto and am just a dumbass that doesnt know what he/she/they/it even are, want or feels.
>>45156271youre literally describing dysphoria you retard. just start hrt and figure the rest out later.
You could try and see if it works for you, when I first quit, I was on hrt for a bit more than 6 months and the only changes I got, reverted in a couple of months after quitting.
>>45156296correct
>>45156350>>45156296Im already on 1y hrt, the points under "Do Transition" arent hypotheticals.
>>45156296Also where the fuck am i describing dysphoria here. At best i was only wondering if id be happier being a girl, never ever ever certain of it to any degree.Also any discomfort with male stuff was at best super minor and probably just non existent.The best argument here for it is the envy, but that has severely decreased since a few months on hrt and was like the single biggest thing that made me think i might be trans.Plus i made the mistake of coming out to people. And i basically feel nothing when they gender me female for the most part. Same if they "mis"gender me as male.
>>45156494Plus, im starting to think the envy of cis/trans women/transition timelines was just. Me being depressed and for some reason thinking they have better lives, seem to have more purpose or happiness or whatever.More so than any actual envy of them being women.
>>45156271idk kinda sounds like depression to meAt that point it's a question of whether you'd rather be depressed as a man or as a woman (or at least an approximation of one)
>>45156271i feel the same way, and i'm also about 1y in. it feels impossible to go back, though. like there's nothing to go back to
>>45156271You are probably transfem nonbinary and need to stop letting 4tran brainworms get in the way of that. 4tranners are dumb as fuck on anything regarding nb issues so they end up creating repressed enbies like you because they act like all nb people are faketrans larpers.Get on E. >t. in the exact same situation. >>45156494>Plus i made the mistake of coming out to people. And i basically feel nothing when they gender me female for the most part. Same if they "mis"gender me as male.nona this is the fucking textbook definition of being agender/nonbinary holy shit
>>45157414im prob depressed. And i used to think id rather be depressed and be a girl-esque thing than a guy. But now im not so sure, not that id actively want to be a guy, its just that im not sure i wont be giving myself dysphoria by growing boobs.Like id boobs are just a lil weird lol. And it feels like i need to be extremely sure that ill like them or at least wont mind to commit to this. But mostly its just half heartedly thinking "itll probably be fine" (plus a few instances where im quiet happy about them desu). But interspersed with extreme anxiety i wont be able to deal with it.
>>45158424>it feels impossible to go back, though. like there's nothing to go back toI dont have that feeling unfortunately. Tho its less that id gain anything from detransition, more that i dont really see much of anything to look forward to, transition or not.
>>45158440>Get on E.Istg can no one read, ive been on hrt for a year already, my concerns arent hypothetical "what if i transition" kinda things. Plus if im nb its more questionable if i should even do hrt or not.> You are probably transfem nonbinary and need to stop letting 4tran brainworms get in the way of that.Maybe, i can see myself leaning various degrees of nb even when i feel somewhat certain. But i dont think im letting tttt stuff get in the way too much here. I think nbs are cool and based and such and the sometimes forced transmed/truscum hate on them here is mostly just stupid.So its not really the brainworms. Maybe it is tho that since ppl on here are usually binary trans and heavily dysphoric i feel like i have to be like that too to take hrt without a risk of regretting it. But idk that also just seems like a reasonable requirement (for myself at least) kinda.> nona this is the fucking textbook definition of being agender/nonbinary holy shitIf im agender its even more questionable if i should take E tho. Also i kinda let out that, yeah i mostly dont care, but very rarely i get a bit happy when i get gendered fem or lightly sad when male. But its really rare and slight (to the point i think i might be forcing it/its not gender but like sunk cost fallacy from me transitioning/coming out).
