>>45153374
We have a few t4c couples in /lesgen/ if you wanna ask there sometime: >>45140690

I'm cis les dating a trans woman I met in a chatroom like 15 years ago. We were friends for many years. We've had our dramatic moments, and not speaking to each other for a year while we matured a bit and went to therapy helped us grow closer. Plus she started to transition during that time. We're still going strong after so many years. We want to live together someday and have children, but we're working a lot right now to save money, plus I'm going to school, and immigration is going to be a bitch. It's LDRs you should avoid, if possible desu. But sadly, often you HAVE to do an LDR to be in a queer relationship, depending where you live. :(

I've heard similar stories to yours, and some people on this board are hella vitriolic towards cis women because of fear, some of it justified. But it's like dating any other person, ups and downs. Avoid someone who fetishizes you, at least over things you hate about yourself. Avoid people with broken bird syndrome.

>>45153374
I'm married t4c. My only issue is my wife doesn't think i need ffs, she says it's bdd. I disagree strongly.

>>45153427
this is because she would be attracted to the male features in your face if you weren't as feminine
be extremely careful about how much she's into the maleness of you, like your height or the angles of your face. If she doesn't want you to get surgery there can be few reasons for this.

either, she's really concerned about what it could do to you (again, attracted to less-feminine/more-male features)
she's worried you could become bogged or look like you've had obvious plastic surgery (reasonable, hope its this, maybe show her some before/afters)

OR, worst of all, she doesn't want you to look better than her, and is worried about getting mogged by a trans woman. Which is insane insecurity and you shouldn't be married to someone who is like this, eventually it won't work out

Especially if you've sat down and explained the surgery has a 92% success rate in improving quality of life for the patient, only 8 in 100 people don't like the face they get after

>>45153427
I thought a friend didn't really *need* it, but I did encourage her to get it. After I saw the difference, I was so happy for her. I guess I just didn't really realize it before because affection kind of blinds you to flaws, even ones that cause her dysphoria. Hope she can understand that, and you go get it anyway ofc.

>>45153453
She says i already look feminine but idk

>>45153702
>>>45153306
Me btw

>a bunch of bi males talk about their bisexual female wives

lole

>>45153374
T4t is filled with groomers. Just hang out with normal people. If youre too weird for that then idk be lonely i guess.

bump

>>45153374
>80% straight trannies
Uhhh no, definitely not. It's like 25%

im cisf and my gf is a transbian that passes thankfully as a girl with a dick is basically my dream gf. we met in college in the botany club (growing plants and stuff, we are both stem majors).

>>45155905
its been polled its like 3/4 trannies on the board are primarily androphilic

>>45155922
Last poll I saw was like 50% bi and the other 25% x 2 were straight or les. Plus polls here are unreliable by default. We know factually there are more lesbian and bi trans women than straight in general.

>>45155945
>we know factually there are more lesbian and bi trans women than straight in general
how, anecdotally lmfao?

>>45153374
i dated a "cis" f lesbian and she was the only person in my life that ever truly loved me unconditionally. i miss her everyday

she had bpd and was an alcoholic tho so our relationship crumbled.

"cis" in quotes bc she once mentioned wanting to be a boy. i dont know how much she meant it. she would say a lot of things

anyways yes it can work out and be beautiful. might encounter some transphobia as you do dating cis people in general but its worth it once you find the right girl that loves you

good luck

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>>45153374

Trans girlfriend in a C4T relationship here. First off, let me get some things straight about your post (1/2).

>but as of recent ive been super dissatisfied with the state of t4t
I hate it too, I completely gave up on t4t after hanging out in mainstream trans spaces irl and seeing it for myself, it's a shame really. A lot of people there are serial abusers, druggies, codependent or downright weird. They also coerce other trans women into a lot of things because they know they can push the boundaries of someone who has a very reduced dating pool and is vulnerable. Hell, some tried to coerce me into joining polyamorous groups.

>i've always been told it was the holy grail of being a trans lesbian so every time ive flirted back and forth with a cis lesbian i never let it really go anywhere because i've always been told essentially death is preferable to dating a cis woman.
Don't listen to this, a lot of trans women have had bad experiences with cis women due to dating terfs or fetishizers and they project their misery into everyone else. I was banned from entering a discord server by a bunch of transbians that were friends with my best friend because I'm dating a cis woman, it's ludicrous! I do get their point with trauma and stuff, but a lot of these people are genuinely incel-like I'll be totally real.

>it's so toxic and you get pressured into doing so much shit you don't want to,
Refer to my first point. I got severely abused by a trans woman and witnessed a lot of my other transfem friends experience the same. I feel like some of people don't feel like dating a cis woman is achievable due to their internalized transphobia and the sentiment of "I'm an inferior trans woman" so they resort to t4t to feel any sort of affection (+ the fact a lot of trans women are very traumatized). This not only leaves them vulnerable but it also may lead to them being the abuser, since what separates an abuser from an abused is the way their brains respond to their own hardships.

>>45155959
because we're actually males duh

>>45156005
Now for my relationship story (2/2).

>how did you meet, how did it go, how long did it last, was it overall good or bad
We met on a social Roblox game when we were teenagers and we started catching feelings after interacting in private DMs (I know, crazy). She was 16 and I was 17, now we're 19 and 21, so it's been a solid 3 years, but these 3 years weren't spent together all the time. My mother severely disapproved of me having long distance relationships even though I lived in the middle of nowhere with nobody my age to relate to, so she forced me to break up with my girlfriend with financial blackmail after the first year or so (she had access to my bank account until we got on good terms and she signed to give it to me).

I spent a long time yearning for her in uni so we kept in contact occasionally, though she felt a bit resentful of me for trying to move on from her, which I did (I kept trying to bury her under my mental carpet to no avail). About a year ago we reconnected because I was already stable in life, finishing my degree, on medication and on better terms with my mom, so I managed to stand up for myself this time and we started dating again.

This relationship is like no other to me, I have dated people other both, irl and online, and nothing compares to the kindness, understanding and relatability. I have witnessed average cishet couples that look like abusive relationships compared to mine, just to put it into perspective how much we understand each other. Sure, she doesn't understand what it's like to be trans, but she's very interested and respectful of the subject and asks me a lot about my experiences, just like I do about her experiences growing up as a cis woman.

For the record, I am nowhere near a passing trans woman, I am actually quite comfortable with my masc side and do not voice train for instance. So yes, it's not just stealth passoid transbians that get the cis lesbians if you doomed about that. Good luck!

>>45156097
A few extra notes to finish off
1. I am a dom top and my girlfriend is a sub bottom, a lot of trans women don't enjoy topping or domming, so I cannot speak for that
2. I was on HRT for very little time when we first started dating, and to her it was never an issue, to some it may be (my one single trans ex was obsessed with me being on HRT for a long time for instance)
3. You WILL get a lot of comments about being a straight man and your partner (if lesbian) WILL get a lot of comments about not being a real lesbian, be prepared

>>45156133
is your gf a lesbian?

>>45156141
Yeah, she has strictly been attracted to women since she was in middle school and, as far as I remember, due to her own sexual preferences and due to her being neurospicy and liking a lot of nerdy things that trans women stereotypically do, she found herself enjoying trans women as partners more. For the past 4-5 years she's only dated trans women I think.

>>45156097
>met on roblox
that's fucking cute

>>45156304
That actually makes me really happy, most people laugh and make fun of me for that. I was really big into Roblox from 12-18 because I was in the global leaderboard players for a competitive front-page game at the time, having also contributed assets to the developers, so it meant a lot to me. :)

>>45155959
Literally every study or survey in the last 10 years.

>>45153374
I’m in one right now, post op, its great! They’re really tistic, so there hasn’t been a lot of pressure for me to have that neurotypical grace. We can just watch star trek and snuggle and do sweet things for each other.

But I really don’t think this kind of relationship would be possible with a dick in the middle of it. Surgery really does just kill that last remnant of a teen boy in your head that will make this kind of connection really hard to hang with. And… I’ve been mostly stone, one of the tradeoffs for me has been my own pleasure and accepting that I’m better suited to servicing others than being spoiled myself.

>>45156005
i'm so sorry you had to go through all of that but at the same time i'm relieved i'm not the only one.
>>45156097
you two sound so lovely i'm so glad you could find someone so dear to you like that. thank you so much for replying that gives me a lot of hope for my own love life

>>45156418
I'm glad I managed to resonate with you. I wanted to make sure you didn't feel alone or crazy for thinking that t4t is a death trap in some spaces. I feel like it's mainly online but stay away from t4t on discord, twitter or 4chan I'd say.

I wish you the best of luck!

>>45156450
I've had only good experiences with t4t. I think the people who have only bad experiences are probably hanging in the wrong crowds instead of seeing what the of trannies have to offer

>>45156466
I do know there are right crowds, but I ran into all of the wrong ones both irl and online. The common points were all that they were either twitter, discord and 4chan users.

That's why I'm saying t4t is a death trap in these spaces.

>>45156478
t4t is a death trap desu 90% of trannies are so mentally ill yhey just drag eachother down

>>45153374
t4t is the way you just have to stockholm yourself into liking being abused

>>45153374
Kys
y
s

op i hope you safeplap many pussies