Oh no! You've shot a priceless pre-Islamic Persian statue and freed this evil gremlin-looking motherfucker! Now he wants to thank you by granting you three wishes. Just remember the rules:>he's not leaving until he's granted you three wishes, no more, no less>that which is immortal may never die>the moment that the third wish is granted, the Djinn's army of hellspawn shall invade the Earth and enslave all of humanityChoose wisely
>>65623836>$10 million that was stolen from former employers that I don't like and can't be traced back to me>all IRS buildings spontaneously explode during business hours>that I pulled a reverse Alec Baldwin and accidentally loaded my gun with blanks when I shot your statue
>>65623836>that all niggers are gone>that all Jews are gone>a Coke
>>656238361. Endless money.2. Immortality3. His army of hellspawn is imprinted on me as their new master they follow without questions.
>first wish: you gotta play Pokemon TCG when I ask>No more wishes he's now my eternal ever following card slave
>>65623836>sex with a nine month pregnant Anne Frank while high as a kite on Cheech and Chong’s private stash of marijuana RIGHT NOW>drug-fueled orgy with all my favorite celebrities (Natalie Portman, Kat Dennings, Abigail Shapiro, Oona Chaplin, Heidi Klum, Kendra Wilkinson etc.), e-whores, high school crushes, and anime girls while they were in their prime and nine months pregnant in the back of a private train hauled by a streamlined New York Central Hudson locomotive until I get bored (at least a couple of decades)>that the Confederates had won the Civil War and saved pregnant Anne Frank in the future, thereby erasing the entire chain of events that led to me breaking his statueI would have wished for the NFA to be repealed forever, TND, and for all ziggers to be strung up from lampposts on the Day of the Rope but since stopping the Djinn requires causing a time paradox, fulfilling my immediate sexual desires will have to do instead
>>65623920He always gets excited with himself and kills the people before they can wish more. If he really wanted to satisfy the win condition he'd just go find a drunk bum and wait while the dude mumbles out some bullshit and grant that three times. But he doesn't cause he's a loose cannon, just living it up murdering peeps. All the other djinn are getting pretty sick of it and wonder why that guy got to be the wish arbiter.
>>65623923Surprisingly good post and taste in women.
>>65623876based and Rocco pilled
>>65623923Congratulations, the new you in this new timing gets to live in a shithole almost country ruled by democrats playing at aristocracy. Enjoy your' eternal blue state hell, serf.
>>65623972Weren't the rules that he has to get the wishes from who frees him? He can grant other people's wishes but it does nothing for his ultimate goal, that's why he always twists them whenever he can, to get them to accidentally kill themselves so he can get back to his real goal.
>>65623836I wish for him to manifest 2 10oz gold bars marked in my last name 3 feet in front of me, to manifest a full coca cola bottle for him to drink from on the ground 9 feet in front of me, and then the third wish is to spiritually and physically seal himself into a T-72 main battle tank in Russia.
>>65623836>double world hunger>triple student debt>bring back blueberry Red Bull
I wish for OP to get punched in the balls twice.For my final wish I wish for these dubs to observed.
>>65623876/thread
