Okay I’m trying out different things and my fucking god do I need to read a fucking wiki lore page before I get to a simple ingredients, method recipe?That’s it.Pic unrelated, you can’t really fuck up asian noodles that bad.
Exhibit a
Most of these food blog sites have a "Jump to Recipe" button you can click that will scroll past the life story for you and take to straight to the recipe card.Maybe post some recipe sites you like. For me it's>The Mediterranean Dish>Recipetin Eats>Love and Lemons
far more egregious is people rating recipes before they've even cooked them
>>22264321I can’t cook. I just rant like a schizo on 4chan. Anything that looks remotely edible is just pure luck or divined by ouija board.
>>22264324Have you tried following a recipe?
>>22264325The dough/flour gremlins always fuck everything up. I could try a recipe 3 times to the letter and fail, then use “gommon sense” to adjust and it only gets marginally better.I swear these niggers are all “works on my machine” while having the most obscure retard setups and time dilation bubbles imaginable.
>>22264330A lot of food bloggers are baking in a convection oven but don't mention that. If you don't have one of those and are trying to bake from a food blog recipe, you'd benefit by increasing the baking temperature by a good 30F.
>>22264312it's worse now because of the prevalence of untested AI generated recipes. twice last week i found recipes where the instructions in the body of the page didnt match the ones in the recipe, and even used different ingredients.one time the weights didnt match, and when i weighed the ingredient it was obviously much less than the recipe would need. now i have been pretty much only using recipes from established sites for magazines or products because at least i know it's been tested and is a real recipe.the recipes on the backs of food cans and boxes are usually pretty decent too.
I've never really understood this complaint. I enjoy reading about food and cooking. If I just wanted a recipe I wouldn't read the extraneous stuff. That's a choice you make.
>>22264357most of it is just pointless filler used to cram SEO friendly words into the post
>>22264333Im doing some pizza dough now. KitchenAid mixer. Not enough water it seems, everything to the gram/millitlitre.It’s fine now, I added a touch of water.Anyways, I’m angry and trying new things. Why can’t these niggers get it right?!Is the flour 10% drier in australia what the fuck.
>>22264371Yeah our air is drier and our water is harder.You'd be better off mixing it with your hands until you get a feel for the best water/flour ratios
>>22264371Your cup measurements are different quantities than our American measurements. Maybe that is the issue you're having, though you said you're going by weight, which you should. idk man. Ambient temperature, air pressure/elevation, and humidity allegedly can have an impact on baking.
>>22264323>the store was out of eggs and the milk was expired>rating: 2/10
>>22264371Different flours absorb water differently
>>22264385We’re at ~48mg/l calc which is not hard and I live by the ocean so it’s not like I’m cooking at Ayer’s rock.All the variables aren’t off, so I’m just gonna find and bash the next recipe author if I fail one more time.
I’m seeing only red right now
>>22264482: )This looks like the kind of pizza I make when using fresh dough
>>22264514I mean I’ve done it the exact same way left overnight, a couple days. I am never posting here again. Owari da
>>22264482One of my first homemade pizzas looked exactly like this.It still tasted really good
>>22264552>add more flour>doesn’t mix>add more water >too doughy>let rest>becomes flat but more manageableThis shit is harder than structural engineeringIt tasted ok of course with the nice ingredients. Still too dense/doughy
>>22264371Different countries have different flours For all recipes i have to add 20-30% more water because canadian flour has more protein or some shit
>>22264591I’m done following recipes at this point. Yeah I am using “bread flour” which is supposed to be higher in protein (still as per the recipe) yet still comes out too doughy.I just think it’s fucked that I have to use trial and error and engage my brain. These recipes shouldn’t be so off the mark and with such shitty directions. I feel like I am surrounded yet again by fucking retarded ESLs that know no zero nuance of the English language.Please no copeposts by ESLs
Are you sure that the yeast isn't too old?Are you sure your water wasn't too hot?
>>22264608Well the year was new. Also I used my brain and didn’t use 50 degree water nor 20 degree water (C) but something in between. Now I just googled to make sure I am not a complete idiot and is says warm water is as follows:>32°C to 48°CSo I hope we can eliminate these two conditions.
>>22264614Well I tried to help, killing the yeast with almost boiling water was my first bread failure.
>>22264567Yeah it's not only science. There is art involved. A lot of that "art" comes from experience making various dodgy pizzas. Just make more pizzas. There's no such thing as a bad pizza. They are all edible (unless you forget to add salt to the dough)If you have any dough leftover try again tomorrow after resting it in the fridge overnight and you'll get much better results
>>22264312Google ranks pages by their "authority" score nowSo they have to talk about why their recipe is so great before they give it to youI'm not fucking kidding
>>22264312Just get into French cuisine and buy an old cookbook.
>>22264715fuck outta here with your non retarded suggestions
Food blogs have been entirely AI generated since 2023. It is unfortunately necessary to get a subscription to a pay walled service now or go back to cook books. I recommend nytcooking who does a sale once a year around Christmas/New Years. Cooks Illustrated is also good and does a sale once a year around black Friday.
>>22264764Old food network recipes are good, from back when there would be some wagie to be held accountable for complaints. Bonus you can often find the episode online somewhere.
>>22264774yeah fn was very good back in like 2010 but took a nosedive during the 2nd half of the decade when they became more relaxed with their recipe quality uploads and started spamming low quality recipes to inflate page views
>>22264774This just unlocked a memory; there used to be "dinner and a movie" on TBS where they would play a movie and cook a recipe, usually a dumb pun related to the film.
>>22264312Just feed the page into ChatGPT/Claude/whatever and ask it to reformat/simplify
