What foods give you truly excellent poops? My digestion isn't what it once was.
kumara
>>22247116I know it's fashionable lately to vilify high fibre, but goddamn does it help my bowel movements. So I suppose a large vegetable lentil stew (help it with some ground up psyllium husk if you want to go all out), then the next day some nice coffee.
Yogurt (probiotics) with muesli (fiber).
>>22247122That will make you shit a lot but it wont give you no-wipe shits.
long story short, somebody gave me a bag of this and I eat a few of each pieces throughout the night. not the cleanest poops, but at least they're complete logs and not a disaster. also i drink a lot of waterdo not miss the sticky poops, what a waste of toilet paper
>>22247130It can, you just have to not care enough.
>>22247130High fibre does give me the no-wipe shits though I'm pretty sure. Consistently if I eat a tsp of psyllium husk powder the next day I will have a clean butt.But I heard that that's not a universal thing, a lot of people apparently struggle with higher fibre in their diets, especially if they're not used to it, in which case it can make things worse.
>>22247116i used to take metamucil to help my american fatbody diet cope and make turds instead of loose slurry. then i discovered bob's red mill old world muesli, which i eat for breakfast every morning, and stopped taking metamucil altogether. bob's tastes really good, it not like a healthfood you gotta choke down, its actually tasty. well formed healthy turds.
>>22247154another pro tip i want to share is using aquaphor, which im pretty sure is just petroleum jelly, on the last wipe after shitting. when i was a kid i could shit 100 times in a day and wipe it away fine, but when i got older i started to dread shitting more than once a day because my bhole skin would get ripped and the last few wipes would be bloody. this solves that problem. don't be held hostage by your poop, theres a better way
>>22247116Alcohol. I just bought a friend some $170 boots because I didn’t to go back on what I said when I was wasted.
>>22247116>born to poop>no need to wipei've been eating a ton of rice and beans and my other meal is usually a salad. best poops ever.
>>22247116Coffee or caffeinated beverages in general. I’ve get pretty significant bowel movement after a cup or two of coffee.
blueberriesthe paper'll be green but it'll come out easy
Theyre creamy dreamy and steamy
>>22247116Seeds, vegetables, fruits, coarse grains.
>>22247143kek
>>22247148>High fibre does give me the no-wipe shits though I'm pretty sure.>Consistently if I eat a tsp of psyllium husk powder the next day I will have a clean butt.anonsThere are 2 fibers.Solube and insoluble.NPCs have traditionally lumped them together (wrt dietary advice) and this is WRONG. Insoluble fibers speed up the flow. Soluble fibers make the flow good and clean.
/ck/ - food and pooping.
>>22247116dates, nannyberries
>>22247392what goes in must come out
>>22247116I don't understand how the fuck you're supposed to hit your recommend fiber intake eating whole foods without being miserable. Like the recommended for an adult male is 30-38g of fiber. Highest fiber food is beans with 15g per cup, which means you'd need to eat TWO CANS of beans per day. Apples? 4.5g each meaning you'd need to eat 7 apples a day, which nobody is doing. Your entire diet would have to basically be trying to force down as much fiber-filled food with nothing enjoyable. It's crazy.
>>22247148>psyllium husk That works to be fair but its akin to swallowing cement. Regular high fiber foods like legumes and veggies give me mushy shits. If i eat "clean" carbs and meat my shit is rock solid.
>>22247423>"clean" carbsI love it when a new nuspeak drops.
>>22247154How do you prepare it?
>>22247423>but its akin to swallowing cementKind of, I find 99% of the "just add it to food" advice to result in disgusting dishes. You can mix ~1tsp of it into tomato sauce and get away but it's a delicate balance. Too much and you end up with gelatin which is disgusting.I rawdog it, I just take a spoonful and eat that pure, then chase it with water. I'll not pretend it's pleasurable, but that way it's over quickly.
>>22247336nta but soluble fiber makes me take massive and solid "no wiper" shits. idk what to tell you. if I don't take soluble fiber my shits are like soft serve ice cream.
>>22247772This guy wins the thread
>>22247116Ginger tea, parasite cleanse.
>>22247116Drink a pint of hot apple cider and clear your schedule for the next hour
>>22247142What do you mean, you eat a few pieces throughout the night? Are you waking up in the middle of the night to eat trail mix?
>>22247154I'm trusting a random 4channer don't let me down. Tired of spending so much money on toilet bowl cleaners. This shit better work to fix my shit.
>>22247154Man I miss the muesli I got once that had dates instead of raisins
>>22247116
>>22247116Recently bought some Raisin Bran for nostalgia and was surprised that it seems to work really well.>>22248301GL bro
>>22247116>makes your poops solid for the first time
this stuff. I mix it with yogurt.
>>22247122Who the fuck villifies fiber? Ive never once heard anyone say they need to eat LESS fiber
>>22247116Papaya Look up "papaya poops" for more info.
>>22248462It was a big deal a while back, usually had some overlap with carnivore diet defenders/the jordan peterson types who thought that all the world's ills could be fixed by only eating meats. Often they'd blame fiber as part of the issue. Must have been around that time where there was an influx of the schizoids who said that broccoli was literally cyanide.
>>22248443>Overpriced>Literally does nothing you noticeAt least it tastes pretty good.
Hard boiled eggs. Massive amounts of nuts (almonds).If you want the ultra giga cheat: get 4-5 slices of bread and toast them to the absolute most charred black crisp that you can still consider edible enough to force down your throat. If you eat 5 slices of bread like this you will shit an actual brick. It's like putting a pipe pig through your colon.
>>22247772Yes. Working as intended. INsoluble fibers are made by satan.
Everyone in this thread needs an enema
>>22247116my mom swears by kiwis
>>22247116Depends what you mean by "excellent", but a pack of Lidl brats will give you an exhilarating dilation.
>>22247336What benefit, if any, would 'speeding up' digestion offer anyway, wouldn't you just absorb less valuable nutrients from the good food you ate? Is that what insoluble fiber offers? Say if you ate a lot of garbage food and needed to quickly pass it out of... health concerns? If you're concerned about your health, why did you eat garbage?
>>22249947People eating trash, especially if 3rd world. YOU.
>>22248471Imagine her (his) poops
Einkorn dark german bread with seeds and cracked grains. Strap on a crash helmet because you're head will hit the ceiling as you ride a gynormous column of poo to the moon. Glorious https://www.daringgourmet.com/vollkornbrot-german-whole-grain-seed-bread/
>>22249947Idk, I think the speeding up is for people who get constipation.
>>22247423I can't seem to find a happy medium, I either get sticky soft serve ice cream, or charcoal briquets.
>>22247116This >>22247142, but also real full grain bread like pic related. Eat 2-3 slices for breakfast, some meat with vegetables for lunch or dinner and I promise you you will have the quickest healthiest and plannable morning shits ever.
>>22250365>corporate memphis
>>22247336I didnt know that. Thank you. I always thought people were lying about fiber giving them solid shits since the vegetarian chili my ex ex made would always give me the worst, mushy, undigested shits.
Dates, prunes, broccoli, carrots, apples. Don’t bother with fiber supplements just eat more fruit and vegetables
>>22247158sounds like you need to replace wiping so much with a bidet because all the tp is destroying your asshole. the ones that are $20 and fit onto your existing toilet are good enough.i'm a /gif/ veteran with a gaped ruined asshole so wiping isn't enough anymore. i wash my asshole out in the shower by kneading it around under the water stream, stretching and splashing into the folds, then pushing in and spinning it around a little, then i directly apply plain hair conditioner, and work it in like a lotion. it softens my skin up to handle whatever happens over the next several days without needing to do that again. bidet alone becomes fine for getting clean without wiping. what helps especially with is that i shave, so the conditioner also prevents bumps and ingrown hairs.experience told me brand of conditioner doesn't really matter as long as it's not shampoo combo, but i use dove daily moisture damage therapy conditioner.a full blast bidet, or shaving, would likely hurt your ass more right now, but it sounds like repeated wiping, and wiping moisturizer onto your shit-covered skin isn't working. get your skin actually, deeply, affirmatively clean first before you start applying lotions, and if all goes right you wont want to continue wiping with what sounds like 20 grit again. i have been on the same roll of 2-ply for over 2 months now and i really like that bidet, they are stupid easy to install. you can also prob follow similar advice from a few other ex-twinks on how to make your balloon knot softer than a kitten's grip and make poopin feel like dropping a wet heath bar through two giant pillows, i just do what's easiest for me.
>>22247116For me it’s beans and coffee, eat a serving of beans a day and a cup of coffee and you’ll be fine. Peas countI’m sure lentils do too, i just fucking hate them. You could also get your thyroid checked, low thyroid function causes those issues
>>22247158>>22250854And here I thought it was just a me problem. Legit having issues with wiping too much to the point I start bleeding and more recently for some reason also having a leaky butthole? Like when I took a massive shit and wiped a lot and would go about my day I eventually need to go to the bathroom again because it would become all slimey with some poop residue leaving as well. Is my hole too lose from dropping to many too big logs?
>>22248462Big meat wants everyone going carnivore to maximize their profits and ensure everyone's unhealthy so big pharma makes a big profit too.
>>22251392You and the other big pooper need more soluble fiber. Or to see a freaking doctor
>>22250365>daily intake bullshityou need fiber in every meal, shitting your cereal fast but still having your 2 lunches stuck in the bowels won't help at all
>Americans not knowing what a hemorrhoid is
>>22251392Are you a pincher? I’ve noticed sometimes there can be a little bit of remnants in the hole itself that will work its way out over time, especially if there’s sweat. Wiping the hole with a little pressure in the hole seems to help get it. It’s probably not gape caused goop if you’re just a big logger
>>22251486You're supposed to shit once per day.
>>22247116Borscht. (or borsch if it's more like the Ukrainian/Russian version)The beet liquid and beet pieces act as a gentle natural laxative. You can also add things like cherries or prunes for both that effect and layers of tart flavor
>>22247116For me, it's having milk and then around an hour later having a can of Pepsi Max.
>>22252151>>22247116First giant log i shit in years and its because i drank a gluttonous amount of borscht for dinner
>>22247116Tried eating oatmeal daily in the mornings for a week this year, one day took a shit where the stool was not only the largest most perfect stool of my entire life, but also had another completely full-sized stool, the kind you would be satisfied to pass on any normal day, floating next to it. I left the washroom feeling as though there was a void inside of me where something used to be, it was profoundly uncomfortable for about ten minutes until I acclimated to it at which point I felt very good
i eat coffee beans instead of drinking coffee. it works better than any other fiber i tried
I've been eating rye flakes for breakfast for the past week, with milk and yoghurt. Seems really good for the turds, I haven't had to wipe since.
>>22253912>I left the washroom feeling as though there was a void inside of me where something used to be, it was profoundly uncomfortable for about ten minutes until I acclimated to it at which point I felt very goodBest way to lose weight
>>22252151This, desu baka senpai
>>22253912Did you look at your watch partway through?
>>22247116McDonalds McDouble.
My daily routine:Cook pasta, rice, lentils, beans or chickpeas in 50% seawater, 50% water.Mix it with a raw tomato, garlic and parsley. Olive oil.Sometimes i fry turnip, parsnip or leek or whatever i have, let the rice or whatever soak there in the oil, then, a while later, before mealtime, add twice the volume of rice or whatever in water, cook it, then add some raw vegs at the end, like before. Colorful! Add spices or whatever as you wish. I dont. Sometimes i cook the carbs with some coconut oil, just because i have, some pepper, or muskat nut. Anything goes to flavor the carbs, but best is to soak them in the oil where you fried the whatever before and let it a good while. It catches the flavour, as oil and fats are the transporters of flavor. I sometimes use butter. Weekly routine:Once a week, some eggs for breakfast, or some meat or cheese with bread. Usually with some salad. Just to intake some fats and proteins. Mostly veal, chicken and pork. Once weekly? More than enough for me! Make it 2 or 3 if you want. The vegs+carbs is satisfying enough and i can eat as much as i want.Two or three daily fruits.Results: perfect cylindrical extrusion. No wipe needed though i do. One piece. Healthy.Greetings from southwest europe!
>>22247116Fibers the body cannot process but will gladly expell helping you out:- oats- celery- fennel- seeds- corn- brown rice- chickpeasYou don't have to eat them together otherwiseit'll be painful for your body to process together,so yogurt and oats for breakfast, chickpeas andpotatoes, celery or almonds for snacks, plentyof water and try for at least a week to see whatcombo works with you.
>>22247116Go keto it cured my IBS. I used to have splatter shits suddenly multiple times a day and now it's 1 smooth sausage every other day.
humble european white bread
>>22248462I saw a post on here a week or two ago that said "fiber is a Jewish nutrient"
>>22247116Just take Metamucil or psyllium. I take the former and it's a game changer. I actually didn't get to take it due to traveling and I missed it big time
>>22247116I'm curious about this but for a very specific reason. I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease last month. It appeared out of nowhere during spring.Now I'm undergoing treatment but it's working too well and resulted in the exact opposite: instead of shitting 31 times a day like an smelly airbrush, I'm now shitting once a week. No pain, bloating or anything. My body simply doesn't tell me I have to free Nelson Mandela.Never had constipation in my whole life before this.I'm eating salad at least once a day. Plus a few fruits and vegetables.
