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>>5159581 >>5159585 >>5159621 >>5160683 >>5169613 >>5169787

>>5159546

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>>5160727

>>5159546

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>>5159846

>>5159553
Post the elephant buttpuncher guy

>>5159553
I member' this thread

>>5159547
based free thinker
if it lays eggs it's not a mammal, simple as

>>5159547
Australia already has the Easter bilby, a cute little dude that's rabbit-like and is being decimated by both invasive rabbits screwing up their homes and foxes, cats, and dogs killing them.

>>5159585
What breakdancing move do Australians use to honor the bilby?

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>>5159635 >>5169665

>>5159547
>sure
Lmfao doesn’t even google it or give a fuck at all. I seriously laughed so hard

>>5159621
You'd be surprised how gullible and narcissistic people are despite obviously having internet access to correct themselves.

>>5159546
I get the feeling this person just had a brainfart and was reading "mammal" instead of "animal."

>>5159646
Monotremes are animals

>>5159646
Many people just don't consider anything but mammals and maybe reptiles to be "real" animals.

>>5159704
My grandfather insisted that insects (which is to say, terrestrial invertebrates) were not animals.

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>>5159778 >>5159785 >>5159801 >>5159901 >>5159962

>>5159704
Speaking about reptiles...

Behold, the biggest crime against Turtle taxonomy of all time.

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>>5159771
>Turtles are not reptiles. They don't have scales like reptiles
>Amphibians have beaks not reptiles
>Turtles are ectotherms, This is a trait of amphibians, not reptiles
>Turtles existed before reptiles even appeared on earth
Advanced retardation.

>>5159635
It’s fucking psychotic because it could not possibly be easier to get more information on something in the present year. Literally just highlight > right click > search Google for thing
I’ve been arrogantly wrong before. Even in this site, I can admit that. When you’re wrong and Google says you’re wrong, you just close tab, pretend that didn’t happen, and then proceed to never make that particular mistake again. These people act like it’d be some great humiliation to just be wrong on the internet one time. Literally just close tab lmfao

>>5159771
Yikes. That's all gotta say.

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>>5159901

>>5159771
retard could have googled "turtle scales" and seen in 5 seconds that turtles do indeed have scales, but instead decided to write a thesis based on a fundamentally retarded and undeniably wrong premise

>>5159796
may you please enlighten this poor non-knower?

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>>5160225

>>5159576
What can an elephant actually do though? If you hug its hind legs it can't reach you with its truck, and its too sluggish to get away while you repeatedly pommel it from behind. If you stand to the side of its hind legs then it won't even be able to hit you with a back kick. If it raises its leg to perform a stomp then all you have to do is back off until it finishes its slam, then move back in to continue punching.

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>>5160081 >>5160137 >>5161887

Beavers are fish

>>5159581
Good enough for Melville good enough for me

>>5159892
>a jaguar could kill a croc 10x its size in one bite
it can tho

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>>5160073

>>5159771
>>5159801
>Says turtles existed before reptiles even though pan-testudines only started appearing 230MY compared to reptiles a whole 100MY earlier
>Oddly knows what Odontochelys and Proterocheris is yet doesn't know those are 100% reptile fossils
>Flat out said Reptiles aren't cold blooded which is the most retarded thing said by far
>Said Turtles don't have scales which is an indicator he hasn't ever actually seen a turtle
>Said amphibians have beaks which not a single species has one while ignoring birds and various dinosaurs, which are reptiles that have beaks
>Bizarrely brings up temnospondyls which is are groups of animals never said to be related to any turtles
>Boils down turtles being amphibians solely because some live in water while then ironically complaining about "superficial similarities"
>Misses the fact that turtles are amniotic which ultimately makes his entire whole argument redundant right at the start
>Misses the fact they don't go through metamorphosis

How the hell can someone be this brain dead yet also know so much and so little at the same time? Was his post made with AI??? I am not convinced somebody casually knows a turtle as obscure as fucking Proterocheris yet doesn't know basic preschool education facts about turtles and reptiles. I have so many questions.

>>5159546
>Post your worst/weirdest/funniest examples.

Not as exciting as some of the other posts, but as a child I thought possums were egg-laying mammals. Specifically, I thought they laid eggs and stored/incubated them in their pouches.

>>5159771
Funny because turtles in German are called Schildkröte ("shield toad")

>Penguins aren't flightless, they just fly underwater :)
That's called SWIMMING
I swear I used to hear this all the time and people would always say it in such a smug manner

>>5159904
Not my original image but I can try and find the source

>>5159765
>Dinosaurs didn't exist "nearly the exact same things but actually real" existed.
I don't understand their narrative.

>>5160014
I love the implication that they can believe in giant lizards as long as they are able to fly and breathe fire. That is completely reasonable but giant lizards that can't do that are absurd

>>5159901
Yeah I noticed this too. This writing style totally isn't AI though and the way it's wrong isn't AI style wrong. AI will usually get a finer point here or there wrong, this has like multiple levels of retard tier incorrect ideas.

>>5159852
the church only did that so they could get away with eating them during lent.

>>5160081
ehrm, actually, phylogenetically speaking...

>>5159764
>the manatee meltdown thread (personal fave)
Never seen this one, what was it about?

>>5159764
>the manatee meltdown thread
That sounds familiar but my memory is hazy

>>5159852
>>5160081
Indonesian Muslims have their own version of this where they claim babirusa aren't really pigs and thus halal.

>>5160187
A chilling example of what /pol/tard trans obsession does to your brain

>>5160187
>>5160197
Okay so what the fuck did this manatee meltdown have to do with trannies at all? I’d like the QRD before I decide to spend time on this rabbit hole lmfao

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>>5160806

>>5159846

>>5160187
>unironically bringing up EQ in a discussion about intelligence
Dude should have been ignored right then and there.

>>5160187
God i remember catching the kudu thread. Really funny how other schizos started posting too

>>5159892
>about lions killing tigers
If the lion sees the tiger first (big if because the tiger is a tiger) and if the tiger does not retreat after the first paw to the face, then it's lion who wins. Even if the tiger is 10% heavier

>>5160187
>ctrl f
>manatees mentioned 134 times
what lmao

>>5160187
Kek

>>5160319
>argument not detected
Shut up jew

>>5160229
He was responding to the /an/ forced meme about neuronal density and intelligence which is admittedly an even worse metric than EQ.

He wasn't wrong. "Experts" here love to declare victory while being obviously wrong about this stuff. Probably one of the main reasons intelligent people don't hang out here.

>>5160337
>implying I need 13000 replies from autists to know the lion beats the tiger
Delusional. I just said what is true, you're kvetching like I broke your rabbi's menorah

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>>5160365 >>5160366

greetings from /vp/

>>5160354
I remember this.

>>5160354
If there is one thing I don't miss about the old Internet it was autistic dogpiling.

>>5160343
>reading comprehension
>repeats what I said but words it differently
>thinks he's smart
Yeah, and the oven is for people like (you) dumg fuck. Go read the thread again brainrotted gremlin or are you so retarded that you need me to paste what I wrote?

>>5160187
What the fuck lmao

>>5160187
>op gets blasted so hard he can only reply with variations on the exact same phrase
must have been a bot, certainly?

>>5159552
these idiots obviously don't know the trick us zoologists use for identifying if its an aligator or crocodile.
you can easily determine which is which based on if you see them later or in a while

>>5159754
>which is to say, terrestrial invertebrates
not all terrestrial invertebrates are insects buddy, welcome to the brainlet zoology canon

>>5160467
Anon is obviously saying that's what his grandfather considered to be insects, illiterate-kun

>>5160418
>You said that one will definitely lose unless it doesn’t retreat first.
I said more. Read again myopic freak

>>5160075
>Calling a turtle a reptile is like calling a bat a bird just because it flies. It is a surface-level label that ignores their true identity.
t. gemini
In response to "tell me why turtles are not reptiles and do not disagree with me".

>>5160366
Same. I laughed at it a few times as kid but when I grew older, I realized it's basically just repeating the joke, which is very obnoxious.

>>5160652
>argument not detected
Kvetch harder. The oven is for people like you btw

>>5159546
Chickens are not animals. They're birds. Read Naturalis Historia.
>>5159547
Platypus aren't mammals either, they have beaks and lay eggs.

>>5159557
what was really happening there?

>>5160678
So now you wwant to hear it? Well faggot, go to carnivora or something. Anyway the argument is simple, lions are used to fighting each other more than tigers are.

>>5159764
>>5160187
Can you also link these? I don't remember them.
>>paedomorphic oil beetle thread
>>orcas aren’t whales thread
>>animals can’t use tools thread

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>>5160832 >>5161284 >>5161313

>>5160727
tokays being little assholes who won't let go when they bite

>>5160225
lmao

>>5160803
why he irange?

>>5160679
fucking kek

>>5159754
People don't see insects as animals so they can cope killing them in mass. I don't blame them though, 80-90% of them are pretty much biological robots.

>>5161048
you realize "biological robot" is just the next cope down right
"sentience" doesn't make you special

>>5161050
I know that but am I wrong though for making that comparison? There is nothing much going on in the brain of a bed bug.

>>5159754
The idea of phylogenetics being upstream from common speech is new and frankly retarded

>>5161048
Don’t care for that definition, they’re alive and deserve to keep living

>>5161059
I generally agree. I'm not just going to go killing bugs for no reason. But human feelings matter more than bug lives so if a bug is even a slight inconvenience to me, it WILL die.

>>5159764
>>5160187
Manatee Meltdown sounds like a Donkey Kong Country level.

>>5160746
https://desuarchive.org/an/thread/4915705
its mostly just the board schizo, i think he killed himself since there hasnt been any melties for a while now

>>5161147
>But human feelings matter more than bug lives
why

>>5161236
Humans are, let's say, a quintillion times smarter than bugs. The real numbers don't matter much because they're so incomprehensibly large and this is just a simplification for the purposes of a post on an indonesian pearl diving forum. As such, our experiences, positive and negative matter more by an equal amount.
A bug/human life has a certain value for the bug/human. Let's normalize the scale at the bug life so it's value is 1, while the human life's value is 1 quintillion.
A human feeling slightly annoyed has a certain negative value for the human. This value is some small fraction of the value of life, let's say 1 trillionth.
From there, it's just basic math. 1 quintillion/1 trillion is 1 million. In other words, the annoyance the bug is causing you is a million times worse than the value of it's life.

>>5161259
why does being "smarter" matter

>>5161274
Go eat some raw meat and sleep outside
Then tell us being smart doesnt matter

>>5161236
>>5161274
Go kill a human to save a bug, and tell us how it goes for you.

>>5161274
Being smarter means we experience a wider variety of things and our experiences are stronger.
A bug barely knows when it's eating, fucking or moving. It's little more than a robot following very basic directives. Humans know what we're eating and can have preferences in food. Same applies to sex. Bugs just do it to reproduce but humans do it in different ways and often for fun. Just ask your mom. We can make plans on where to go for what reason and execute them while bugs just fly or walk around randomly until they hit food or a bug of the opposite sex.
And bugs don't make posts on kazakhstani female hating forums, or any of the billion other things humans do besides the requirements for staying alive and reproducing. Their lives are fundamentally more limited and thus have less value.

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>>5161347

>>5160803

>>5161161
>i think he killed himself
You have no idea how much i hope this is the case

>>5161285
I'm still here you guys just can't spot me 99% of the time

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>>5161317 >>5161355 >>5161359 >>5161418 >>5161993 >>5163261

>>5160803
What is their problem? How could so much hate fit into such a little package?

>>5161313
Hate is a high density substance, like a neutron star. Even a little is a lot.

>>5159585
Skill issue

>>5161284
I don't understand the retardation it takes to look at this tokay very obviously biting the snake's head and grabbing it off and thinking "retard tokay trying to attack another one even with a snake wrapped around it lulmow"

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>>5161313

>>5161313
The chihuahua of reptiles.

>>5161161
>i think he killed himself since there hasnt been any melties for a while now
1. I'm not actually schizo so I'm perfectly capable of ignoring you for months or years at a time
2. You're mixing me up with other people. I assume because you didn't understand what they said either.
3. If you want to think you "won" an argument you couldn't understand that's fine with me
4. There's no reason for me to talk to someone about things they can't understand.

"Winning" an argument with me was literally the greatest thing you've accomplished in your life while I got bored with your failures and walked away. And until you bring it up I had completely forgotten you. I live rent free in your head for years. You mean absolutely nothing to me.

I hope you're having a good day

>>5161161
Also just for the record I did notice how you "beat" me in an argument about face biting in Allosaurus and then agreed with me about the same topic as soon as you thought I was gone.

I didn't say anything because I don't care.

But I do notice when you call me a retard and then take my side later

>>5161161
Also also

Since you expect me to reddit space and post three times in a row

I admit when I'm wrong. Crocodile tooth cleaning videos e.g.

If I haven't admitted I'm wrong it's because I don't believe I'm wrong. I believe you failed to understand. And I likely still believe that. Which is an important reason why I make it a point not to talk to you. What do I get out of arguing zoology or ethology with someone who can't understand me?

Truth be told you're probably the smartest person here and that's sad. But it's because you make a point of chasing away anyone smarter than you. A common problem on 4chan lately. Idiots rule the boards and protect their positions aggressively.

>>5161161
Anyways I've been here all along. I just started capitalizing my sentences and stopped reddit spacing because without overt clues you morons can't tell me from any other poster.

>>5161386
>without overt clues you morons can't tell me from any other poster.
Unless of course you're a mod now, but mods know full well I never left

>>5159581
mammal means mammaries, anon. it makes milk, eggs or otherwise.

>>5161390
And the reason mods know I never left is because I've been rangebanned for 5 years now and require their permission to post every time I reset my device. Over 5 years that's a lot of permission-asking.

>>5161161
But end of the day I do appreciate the mention. I've seen you mention me lots of times and usually ignore you. But I am flattered I left a mark in your memory.

You may respond as you see fit and I will read your response just like I read all your posts. I may not respond, but you can be sure I've read what you wrote. I always do.

>>5161412
I was mentioned itt at least 3 times before responding

And the anon mentioning me has talked about me nonstop for months without response to the point where he thinks I'm dead.

I'm perfectly capable of ignoring the handful of anons obsessed with me when I feel like it

>>5161313
Is their bite actually dangerous?

>>5161417
>I'm this guy but not that guy!

>>5161417
The simple fact is that whether there's one of you or 21 of you this is the only board where I have a dedicated fanclub, and it's the only board with 21 totally different anons with exactly the same vocabulary and interests all obsessed with what I posted years ago. And that's even funnier if you're telling the truth and actually are 21 different retards camped out on /an/ for literal decades

>>5159762
Bats are bugs

>>5161425
>What is the charge? Eating a finger? A succulent human finger?!

Also I just looked up tokays on wikipedia and apparently to soldiers during the vietnam war, its calls earned it the name "fuck you lizard"

>>5161428
Classic

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>>5162342 >>5162356

trying to look up anything to do with avian cognition that doesnt involve corvids is just slightly less painful than sticking a hot coal up your penishole, but only just

>>5159852
I don't know enough to refute you and I'm too lazy to google it

>>5161887
Too lazy to google it? Wow, that's a new low even for you. I can't believe you're going to be a mother in a few months.

>>5161890
what

>>5161917
He got you pregnant while you were distracted.

>>5161313
All of them until a few years ago were wild caught and sick. CB Tokays are still ornery but not out of line what you'd see from a mean leachie.
They evolved on the mainland while the new caledonians evolved in a relatively placid island ecosystem. Animals from Eurasiafrica tend to be more aggressive/defensive especially towards humans than those from the Americas or Oceania.
for an animal to be a common ingredient in Chinese medicine and not be endangered and extinct is a sign that their survival strategy works.

>>5161418
They can draw blood but they're not delivering a medically significant bite unless you like let it bite you in the cock or something. but if you're naked around a tokay you deserve it.
Leachies can deliver worse bites but are usually disinclined to. most of the time they'll do warning bites and they won't hold a real bite like a tokay does.

>>5161347
people neglect the fact that tokays are the most social geckos and among the more social lizard species. Probably the most complex vocalizations of any lizard and both defend their eggs and offer parental care, and have been demonstrated to be able to differentiate familiar and unfamiliar tokays.

>>5159546
>cats are le pests
retards

>>5161428
Ive been chased by a cottonmouth.
Just because it doesnt happen 100% of the time doesnt negate the fact that it DOES happen.

>>5161451
>TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY CLOACA!

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>>5161545
ive seen multiple studies now claiming that black vultures do something because of their good sense of smell

>>5161545
What about parrots? Or pigeons? Plenty of cognitive studies on them.

Animal identification groups will make you realize most people are genuinely retarded
I'm not talking about species that look similar, but ones that are clearly different and youd need to blind to not see, or you have absolutely no idea what youre talking about which then you should keep your mouth shut

>>5161369
>>5161374
>>5161381
>>5161386
>>5161395

Is this all one person posting?

Can someone give me a qrd on the 'board schizo'? I don't browse /an/ very often and am unfamiliar, would love to know the lore and any particularly funny schizo moments or spergouts

>>5162728
>>5162731
It's the same thing with every single river being referred to as "crocodile-infested" if there's even just one living there. I've always thought it was strange that nobody ever brought up reintroducing predators like wolves to deal with white-tailed deer overpopulation but as I got older I realized it was because boomers would get triggered by them and sport hunters think they would compete with them for "their" prey.

Has anyone seen Pterosaur Heresies? An entire website dedicated to being wrong.

>>5163078

>>5163087
If there's any conspiracy, it's furrycon trying to put the colour patterns of living species onto extinct species.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Peters_(paleoartist)

>>5163088
Sorry link unrelated I think David Peters is hilariously wrong and I can't believe he's been wrong for so long, believes Odontocetes descend from Shrews and Stem Sirenians are the ancestors of Mysticetes and other gobshite contradicted by every DNA and fossil expert ever.

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>>5163121 >>5163167

His infamous Hogwash Jeholopterus.

>>5163088
>>5163089
are you the paleo schizo that anon is referring to?

>>5163110
No not him... I do believe Tyrannosaurs probably did have Proto-Feathering due to being related to Maniraptorans. Nothing too spectacular as it relied on it's facial skin for secondary sexual advertisement, not unlike a Monkey.

>>5163110
No, normally paleoschizo's posts are about 8x longer and replying to about 4 people at a time in rage.

>>5163090
Classic

>>5162566
i trust the drunken anecdote of someone who has actually seen an animal in real life over 1000 people who just read shit about them online and insists they know everything.

>>5163087
I call all of you paleoschizo because you're indistinguishable from each other.

I don't care if you're one paleoschizo or 21. It makes zero difference if nobody can tell you apart.

>>5161448
Not all. Wombats are conifers.

>>5163087
To put it another way,

You. all sing the same wrong lyrics to "Amazing Grace"

Paleoschizo is identified by the things he fails to understand. Things which you coincidentally also fail to understand.

>>5163087
>an elderly narcissist
Why is he taking so long to die?

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>>5163090
David Peters is on another level

>>5163087
Now I admit it's possible there are multiple people on /an/ with the exact same misunderstandings of cladistics and phylogenetics.

However I submit that it doesn't matter to anyone whether you're multiple people or just multiple personalities of one very ill person.

It simply makes no difference. If you don't want to be confused with paleoschizo you need to demonstrate knowledge he isn't intelligent enough to understand. This never happens

>>5163166
Assholes never die.

>>5163166
>>5163170
>replying to yourself
A new low even for you, paleoschizo.

>>5163171
I reply to myself constantly

It's the only way I can find someone worth talking to on this board

So yeah, paleoschizo isn't multiple people. It's just one schizo 'agreeing' with himself.

>>5163178
That's my conclusion but I could be wrong. Wouldn't be the first time.

But if it's multiple people that leads to a second even more depressing conclusion.

That fucking retard is apparently the smartest person here and that's sad

>>5161428
I know when I was a kid our house was against some woods, and every weekend my dad would drag me out, and we'd spend like 6 hours a day clearing out undergrowth, chopping up fallen trees, pulling out poison ivy, and just trying to manage it.
About a quarter mile back into the pine woods there was a small creek.
One day when we were clearing things out we heard the dog barking, which he usually did when he found a box turtle.
We went to go find the dog and he's barking at this big weird fallen tree branch, and as I went to grab the dog my dad yanked me back by the hair and what I thought was a broken bough was a big snake rearing up and hissing at the dog.
As a little kid who was spooked and worried about his dog the thing LOOKED massive and felt like it was taller than me reared up. And I remember how wet and pink the mouth looked.
My dad was able to call the dog back, and the snake booked it down the bank of the creek, and I never felt like playing in those woods ever fucking again.
Definitely the only interesting encounter I've had with a venomous snake, I live in texas now so I've seen rattle snakes slithering away, and one rattled at me once.
The only other memorable snake encounter was watching my step dad blast a boa constrictor out of a tree (I didn't know he hated fucking snakes).
But this was south georgia, so it was kind of interesting knowing that the snake was probably someone's pet in florida that got loose.

>>5163182
>he hated fucking snakes

Did he try abstinence

>>5163179
Whatever you say, paleoschizo.

>>5163189
What I say is that all the zoology knowledge found on /an/ is also found on Google. And when Google information is incomplete, vague, simplistic, or wrong,
so is /an/.

There's a lot of info that still can't be easily learned on the internet, and people here are largely unaware of this. What we have here is a bunch of Wikipedia educated experts who love to argue and think their misunderstandings of internet knowledge is the final word and winning argument.

Or maybe it's not lots of argumentative ignorami. Maybe it's just a couple.
Or one.

>I disagree with the scientific community because I saw a Jurassic Park movie
>but it is everyone else that is uneducated

>>5163192
Pretty sure Bell et al 2017 explained in detail what the scientific community believes regarding feathered tyrannosaurs, and paleoschizo, despite being an imbecile in other things, is basically on the side of the "community" on that topic

>>5160430
not funny

>>5163193
Phil Bell is a reactionary trying to halt scientific progress for political reasons, just like you paleoschizo.
Read Xu Xing's work instead.

>>5163192
Paleoschizo's biggest problem with appealing to Bell et al is they used Chinese fossils to support their thesis.

He happily disregards Chinese fossils with feathers while having no problem with Chinese scaled fossils. This indicates that even when he's correct, it's for the wrong reasons.

>>5163202
You can't appeal to the opinion of the scientific community and disregard that opinion at the same time

>>5163171
Not the case

>>5160430
Very funny

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>>5159546
All the pityfags talking about macaques as if they were people. For example saying that the monkeys were retarded for acting like animals under stressful situations

>>5163204
Reactionaries aren't part of the scientific community.

>>5163218
They very much are.

There's a reason they got a shitload of names on that paper.

>>5163220
That's because the paper was funded by the US government. It's a worthless paper.

>>5163221
All U.S. papers are funded by the U.S. government, among other sources of funding

>>5163223
Exactly. They're propaganda.

>>5163227
Again, you can't appeal to the scientific community while disregarding that same community

How can you explain the time a cottonmouth chased me?

>>5163228
This is like saying "you can't dismiss flat earthers, they're part of the scientific community".
They are not and never were.

>>5163233
Let's break it down into 2 broad directions of travel:
1. Somewhat towards you
2. Somewhat away from you

From there we can say that a snake when moving is going to travel in one of those 2 general directions. Usually they're going to travel away from you if possible, but sometimes they can't move away from you or for whatever reason just fuck up and move in your general direction.

So you very wisely move away and they for whatever reason continue in your general direction.
But none of this means they're chasing you. It just means snakes are retarded and you're scared of them.

>>5163236
Yet Bell et al got published in a peer refereed scientific journal while you did not

>>5163238
>pay-to-play American "scientific" journal
Worthless.

>>5163248
Then show me the flat earthers that got published

>>5163249
You mean like Bell et al? Those flat earthers?

>>5163252
No

>>5161313
>be pretty colored reptile hunted for trade and STILL a Least Concern chad
someone had to be the asshole. if it works it works.

>>5163112
>as it relied on it's facial skin for secondary sexual advertisement
how can you say this as though it is a fact? Surely you mean 'I believe it may possibly have..'

>>5163395
Extensive and widespread persistent cranial ornamentation in theropods supports the idea

>>5159762
Anyone who goes to the effort to type out "y'all" on the internet is automatically fucking retarded.

>>5163610
So by your own logic you are retarded.

>>5161418
It would be very painful

>>5163643
kek

>>5163672
They are big lizards

>>5161428
>>5163182
>>5162200
I see cottonmouths on a near daily basis and they are one of the least aggressive snake species on the planet to the point that 50 mexicans just swim next to them while they do that little head thing above the water.

meanwhile black racers are like the least threatening snake around here and those fuckers chase damn near everything.

I love these and will read the whole thread but might lose interest in typing out by then. so here we go
>Looks it's the OCELOT (axolotl)
>These are coral. They're plants that grow in the water
>The barracuda! (very cold tank, it's a sturgeon)
>That thing isn't ALIVE (alligator / croc / caiman behind glass)
>Cockatoos are NOT parrots
>Your goldfish can't grow into a koi because you keep it in a tiny tank

>>5159962
Shielded frog in Romanian, frequently shortened to just "shielded" (countable), I think more so nowadays so as to avoid kids thinking they're literal frogs. It's an old-timey word for shield that's never used nowadays outside of this context.

>>5163957
>Your goldfish can't grow into a koi because you keep it in a tiny tank
Never heard this one before wtf

>>5159546
Animal means non-human mammal

>>5163957
While coral are technically animals, they're non-sentient, making them essentially the same as plants.

>>5164007
Aren't they basically animals larping as plants?

>>5159553
he's almost right. but pleistocene wolves are still wolves.

>>5159546
That animals in panthera genus are "big cats".

I don’t know why scientists are so lazy to call whales fish. They live in the sea all day and aren’t even furry like dogs.
>5 year old me

>>5163395
If it did was likely seasonal as it did also rely on camouflage to obscure body. They've found many imprints of extensive facial capillary networks which lends to the seasonal "blushing" theory.

>Chickens can't fly
>Yeah they can
>No, they can glide, but they can't fly
>>5164007
Either "no" or you're playing the role too well
>>5164439
>so lazy to call whales fish.
You wot

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>>5166380

>>5159546

>>5166364
Who is in the right here?

>>5166380
Just pick whichever side you feel like and then violently defend it until the day you die. Or just randomly defend whichever side you feel like at any given time. This is the internet after all.

>>5166380
there is no "right" taxonomy. it is a social construct, humans like to group things in ways that are convenient to them. its not like genus, family, order, or any of these groups actually exist. they're all inventions of the imagination who's sole purpose is to try to organize the unorganizable

>>5159782
sure

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>>5167274

>If this is a native species where you live, let him go.
>You shouldn’t keep wild caught animals. If it’s invasive that’s a different story.
>If you found them in your house and they're not injured, let them go outside. If they're invasive you could keep as a pet or ethical euthanize. But you shouldn't keep a native wild. The smaller wild geckos people see outside of tropical areas do very poorly in captivity.
>Advice ? Yes, let him go.
>If he's a native species let him back outside.

>>5167272
>this mantis that spends 90% of its life sitting on the same branch is not used to captivity, keeping it would be cruel! LET. IT. GO.

>>5167274
Speaking of mantises, I see the new hivemind opinion in the gardening groups I frequent is that now praying mantises are LE BAD because they're from Eurasia and they eat hummingbirds (which in reality probably never happens)

Threads like these are awesome because they show that so many of you are too rarted/ESL/up your own asses to recognize when someone is just being silly for fun

>>5167286
Not adult male behavior

>>5167290
What would you know about that zoomzoom?

>>5160081
You're thinking of capybaras.

>>5161887
>I don't know enough to refute the claim that beavers are fish
bruh

>>5167279
Do they just have one-in-ten million odds of tripping over a hatchling and chowing down or something? I've lived on property with both hummingbirds and mantises, and would say the latter poses about as credible a threat to the former as a housecat does to you.

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>>5169295

>>5169145
There are photos of mantises eating hummingbirds but it most likely has no actual effect on hummingbird populations. These retards seem to think that hummingbirds are above the food chain and never get eaten by anything. Oops pic related guess we need to get rid of dragonflies too now.

Also most of these mantis predation pictures show them on artificial nectar feeders so....

>>5167279
I've seen mantis' grab humming birds but i doubt they get to eat em

>>5169158
Damn, hummingbirds suck more than I thought. When I was a little kid, I read that mantises eating them was a thing in those pictures books about bugs and reptiles and shit they make for little kids, but as I grew up and actually saw what mantises do, I came away with the impression that they were one of many animals just not as badass as those books say they are.

I never really saw them interact, but from what I'm reading now, it seems like this is only a thing if you put out feeders to try to lure in hummingbirds, which we never did. The mantis species that tend to attempt hummingbirdicide also seem mostly to be beefier ones than lived around that area, and I can't really imagine the mantises we had being desperate enough to try something that insane with all the shit flying and crawling around that yard everyday. Still strikes me as a weird problem to have, but clearly I underestimated mantises.

>>5159547
I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Monotremes

I had the receptionist at my rental place tell me rats have no bones, that's how they fit into tight spaces, because they're like squid or something.

>>5159546
I once worked with interns, who were in or graduated college, who did not understand that blood could not be blue (like it's shown in the textbooks when it's de-oxygenated). They adamantly refused.

Bitches took blood from the animals. You take blood from veins. How does this happen?

>>5169632
I've had people tell me blood is blue inside the body, but turns red when exposed to air. So even drawing some with a needle the millisecond it touches one molecule of O2 it becomes red.

>>5169633
Vacutainers are airtight. The blood never touches air. Vet grads/students should know this.
It makes me mad just thinking about it again.

I also had an actual staff member who didn't know that fingers did not have muscles and were controlled by tendons in the forearm. Just how.

>>5169640
Arrector pili

>>5159621
>>5159635
>>5159782
Did a quick google on the guy. His entire career is BS. We're both consultants, so it's very easy to spot who gets by on fluffing up wordcount and who is an actual SME. I'll let you guess which one he is. Hint: he majored in English and Art History, lmao.

>>5159546
Annoying that redditors keep editing out names.

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>>5169875 >>5170940

>>5159547
SO WHAT THE FUCK IS A MONOTREME

>>5160430
Dammit that joke went completely over my head until I read the other replies.

>>5169145
Hummingbirds are fullsize when they leave the nest.

>>5167220
Eh...youre kind of right.
The taxonomy system was created long before we even knew DNA existed.
But its not an arbitrary cataloging system. It has rules.
You could just as easily say the periodic table isnt real and its just a way for humans to understand elements.

>>5164462
>chickens dont fly, they glide.
100% false.
Gliding by definition uses an external power source. Either potential energy (like a hang glider jumping off a cliff) or updrafts or a tow vehicle.
Chickens can take off from the ground and fly 30 feet up into a tree.
And for the record, turkeys can also fly.
Ive seen wild turkeys on the side of the road get spooked and fly over 40 foot high power lines and keep going for 100 yards.
Pea fowl also roost in trees.

>>5169857
just because its not arbitrary doesn't make it any more real. in reality all living things on earth are in theory just some varied degree of related to each other, the decision to put any new creature in an existing genus, or its own sub-genus for example is just a constructed attempt at making sense of a spectrum of similarity between the aggregate of sufficiently alike things. we decided to set the ranks of taxonomy to a set granularity that is imposed on the actual data, which is the percent sameness of two sets of genetic material from two individual beings.

>>5169858
>Pea fowl also roost in trees
We have a released population where I live. It's crazy how high up they'll go, like 60 feet up in the trees at night to roost.

>>5169787
A miserable little pile of secrets.

>>5161236
Okay Vanessa from Bee Movie

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>>5170108 >>5171291

>>5159546

>>5163080
Look up “lemurfag” in the archives

>>5170093
This one is honestly just sad

>>5159546
I don't know if anything will ever beat that video of the girl who threw a tortoise into a lake saying turtle saving is her hobby
That shit remains absolute mind pain even to this day for me

>>5170113
The amount of animals that need rescuing from "rescuers" is pretty staggering. I took care of an animal who was repeatedly beached because of injuries, and people kept throwing her back into the water. We've had calls from people with seals and otters in their bath tubs.

I get that they have good intentions and all, but we know what the road to hell is paved with...

>>5170692
why would someone even come to this conclusion?

>>5170727
Tail wiggly. Bones not wiggly. Tail not have bone.

>>5161392
sure

>A bunch of posts deleted
Why is this so common in this board?

>>5170888
Because at the end of the day a large fraction of the posts on the board are made by a single ban-evading troll, and he gets wiped from the board every week or two. Not sure what he does specifically to get b&, but I could probably guess

>>5169787
Meroblastic cleavage sounds badass. I don't even want to know what it means. Knowledge leads only to disappointment.

>>5170736
Well I mean he's right. A cats tail would just be as straight as a board if it had a bone in it. You can't move your shin like a cats tail, can you?

>>5170093
I actually agree that bugs aren't animals. Not because of whatever technical definitions but just because I don't think of it as such and so do most people so maybe biologists need new words.

>>5170971
Humans

>>5171291
what are arthropods if not animals

>>5171336
arthropods

>>5163715
for you

>>5171291
Then what alternate name do you propose for multicellular heterotrophs (Animals)?

>>5170102
God don't remind me

>>5171402
bugs

>>5171402
nta but creatures is more intuitive than animals.

>>5171291
Animals are full motion-capable, self-animated living beings. Insect seems more remote because they are very alien and their behavior seems fairly programmatic, but that's just the low point of the scale. Fishes, insects and unicellular animals are, well, animals.
>>5171531
Creature denote "the creation of something". Its not wrong but it doesn't mean the same thing. A robot is his master's creature. The important derivative root from "animal" is "animated" ('anima' = "soul"/"breath" relating to the specific motion attributed by Aristotle to the animal soul, above the vegetal soul, who only had growth).

>>5171291
issue with that line of thinking is that we're closer related to tunicates and even starfish (unintelligent, would not be considered animals under your interpretation by most people) than we are to cephalopods (highly intelligent, capable of exhibiting playfulness and emotional attachments, would be considered animals by most people)

really the cephalopod problem is a massive one for any attempt at "logical distinctions" because of just how intelligent they are